Well, my g/f never gets off from penetration...

[against_odds21]

yea I'll go ahead and say it sucks. I can't help, but feel its b/c I'm not long enough. <

She can get off from her clit a lot and we have no probs with that, but she says she has only got off one time in the last few years and that may have been b/c she was grinding her clit on me.

What makes it worse is she doesn't like to have sex as much as I like to and that can lead to a lot of frustration. She admits she would like to more if she could get off. < I don't know what to do. I can last an hour or however long. ITs not that I'm a minute man.

Her main concern usually is that I get off. She gets really pissed when we have sex and I don't. I think she worries about my pleasure too much to ever get off, but I don't know.

Any ideas? :blush:

 

[aares]

Dont be so hard on yourself. Some women cannot have an orgasm during vaginal intercourse alone. My gf has this same problem, and that is what initially got me into pe cause I thought my dick was too small. Thats when I found out that not all women can get off this way, so I started to rub her clit when she was on top of me, so for her it was vaginal and clitoral stimulation. She loves it when I do this, and she gets off everytime, so try that. Good luck.

 

[against_odds21]

Tried it. She can't get off from clit if I'm inside her. If I pull out she can go, but not while I'm inside. It gets really tight and she just can't get off.

 

[AlloyCG]

I say keep experimenting, and take what you can get. If it takes you coming, and then going down on her after you are done, make the most of it, learn to love it. I don't know how she would feel about it, try anal sex with clit stimulation. Have her grind on your penis when you aren't inside her. Get to orgasm, and as soon as she starts stick it in. Keep trying man!

 

[against_odds21]

Like your advice, but she won't have anal. Didn't like the idea at all, especially since her best friend tried it and told her it hurt like hell. She's the type that does things her friends do. She doesn't see that, but she is like that.

She won't let me go down on her that often. It makes her uncomfortable. She worries about the smell and what not, although I always tell her how nice it is. I bet I've only been down on her 5 times. She got tons of pleasure out of it, but always feels the same way.

I have stuck it in after she comes from the clit, but she can't take it. She says its too sensitive. Kinda like after we guys get off and we are really sensitive to the touch and sometimes can't take it.

 

[copper_handshak]

Are you planning on marrying her or anything? It sounds like your not sexually compatiable, which is a big deal. Sounds like its mostly comming from her side. She sounds like she has some real hang ups. Have you been with other women? If not you need some more experience to give you perspective. I was with a girl sorta like yours for awhile and I loved her but...then I was with some I didnt love all that much but they would cum from penetration, liked oral stuff etc. The trick is to find a woman you love that likes what you two do sexually.

This girls reaction doesnt define your sexual capabilities. Its not your fault. Think about moving on. I know thats harsh, but sexual compatability is very important in relationships. Dont use "we are not sexually compatabile" as a reason for her though if you end it, that will just freak her out. Use some other reason.
MY two cents. I hope that doesnt sound shitty or anything.

 

[smackmybitch]

80% of women DO NOT have vaginal orgasims from intercourse, I don't care how much girth, or duration. My wife cannot have vaginal orgasims, with intercourse without clitoral stimulation. When she is rubbing her clit, with me slowly moving in, and out, she cums in 5-10 minutes, i know because internally she becomes very shallow, and swollen, then her legs shake, and bingo. " clitoral orgasim"

Learn to give good oral,play with her clit and rub her G-spot,soft at first then, slowly increase the intesity, then you will see fireworks. Sorry "waterworks", my wife gets better distance with here ejaculate than I do. " G-spot orgasim"

I don't think it has anything to do with compatability, unless the sex sucks, and there is no intimate conection!

In the end we are all responsible for our own orgasims.

 

[against_odds21]

It don't suck for me.

She just focuses too much on me I think. Plus since she's never had one, she's beginning to think she won't me thinks.

 

[WantToBeThick]

My wife and I had a similar problem. We solved it with a position and it's been our go-to position for 10 years. It doesn't work for everybody, but it's great for us.

Start in missionary. After a minute or two, shift your legs to the outside and hers to the inside. Then go for it. I find that grinding helps things along.

good luck

 

[jubei]

Why is it that if a guy has a problem its his fault and if the girl has a problem its HIS fault!!!!

If ur getting urs let her find out how to get hers -- simple.
If she doesnt want sex with u , find another woman who does.
BTW im 21yo and im in my playin the field phase atm, infact been in this phase since 17

 

[against_odds21]

She wants sex with me. Just not as often as I'd like.

We plan on getting married, so finding someone else isn't an option.

 

[WantToBeThick]

She wants sex with me. Just not as often as I'd like.

Welcome to the world of the longterm relationship. Women generally don't have the same drive as a man.

 

[Hopeful_Skeptic]

doggy style. fun for you and she'll have no prob rubbing her clit at the same time.

 

[kong1971]

I think the statistic for orgasm through penetration alone is like 50% sometimes, 25% never and 25% always. It just may not be possible for her to come while you're fucking her. Also, this may come later in life for her, as she matures. You two are still very young and women seem to take a little longer to figure out how to let themselves relax and get off. They have this ingrained idea that sex is nasty and only dirty girls do it...alot of guilt and repression from our culture...when she gets in her late twenties or early thirties, she'll be like "Fuck that shit! I want to get off!" and things will be alot better then. Right now she's still in that, "Eewwww! That's naughty! I can't do that!" stage. Have a look at her parents. Are they open and sexual and fun, or close-minded and proper and stiff? That will give you an idea of how she was brought up regarding sex and how deeply she was repressed about her sexuality.

 

[against_odds21]

I think you hit it right on the head Kong. Her mom is ok with sex. She knows we do it, but prolly instilled somewhat of those kinds of messages. Her father on the other hand was a military dork and is still a reall stiff.

Funny warning in the sig buddy.

 

[mogli]

I hope this does not offend you, but I agree with some of the other members here. There is a strong possibility that the two of you are not sexually compatable. You mentioned marriage and I strongly urge you to really think that through first. I've been married almost two years now, and I while I don't consider myself shallow I believe sex is very important in a relationship, especially marriage. My wife and I both have very high sex drives and therfore we compliment each other. We can't relate to other couples that only have sex a couple times a week, or those that stay in relationships where one is always the giver and the other always the taker. Bad sex or lack there of does not a happy relationship make. It is important that you both make sacrifices for each other and always be supportive. Most important, you must keep open and honest communication. This is vital.

As for helping her to orgasm, here goes. SHE needs to be more mature about allowing you to go down on her first, and take your time. There's no rush. Spend a good 10-15 minutes down there. Trust me, soon she'll be achin' to have you go downtown. Experiment which positions feel best for her during intercourse. Dirty talk and fantasy discussion during the act are real boosters too. If all this sounds good to you, but she is not receptive to any of it, that's a major red flag for this relationship. It sounds like you really have a sincere desire to please this girl but she is working against you in this regard. You have posted on this forum about something that has become a problem in your relationship, YOU are being proactive and that's great. But you BOTH need to be part of the solution for this relationship to grow healthily before you even consider marriage. I wish you two the best of luck. Be true to yourselves and each other.

 

[against_odds21]

We had some good time to just ourselves recently and the sex was really good. She was horny too so that was great. End of her peirod. Usually she's more horn before than after. She was in the mood to please a lot.

She just needs to quit worrying about me when we are having intercouse. She always wants to do what makes me feel good and I am the one always in control. I feel she needs to work on her confidence too. She worries about her body a little. I do my best to assure her she's hot.

 

[kcee]

I can personally tell you that it is probably not lack of size. My girth is over 7" and my wife still (and has always) needed manual stimulation. She has very, very rarely had an orgasm from intercourse alone. She is not even that crazy about oral sex. She likes a lot of foreplay with manual stimulation (by hand) on her clit and surrounding areas.

I do, however, give her penetration alternately while I am stimulating her. She does like to "feel it go in". But I can tell you, it ain't the penetration that gets her off. Lots and lots of foreplay. When she is about to come, she wants "it" in her. That is when she craves the penetration.

Women are all into the head game too. You have got to set "the mood". It takes time my friend, to learn how to turn a woman on and satisfy her. One thing that I know IS a turnoff to her, and that's worrying about whether you are big enough. You have got to have confidence and display it. My wife loves that I take control in the bedroom. She likes it when she is about to come and I "order" her to turn over so I can give it to her from behind, or when I gently push her head down to give me a blowjob (although she can't get much of it in her mouth anymore).
Good luck, and remember...all women are different. You just have to figure out what turns this one on.

kcee

 

[Bigd5903]

Women are all into the head game too. You have got to set "the mood". It takes time my friend, to learn how to turn a woman on and satisfy her.

Yeah u nailed it. The best thing to do is make her feel secure. tell her shes sexy and u like the way she does certains thigns n stuff liek that. my first gf would never get off through penetration and I think it was because she was never secure with herself no matter what id try to do. She'd say somethin like I dont wanna do that position because I'd probably look real fat to you. my gf now has never had an orgasm through penetration before. We just had sex for the frist time 2 days ago and she had 3(1 oral 2 vaginal) I spent like an hour and a half on the foreplay. She wnated me to go in after about 45 min but i kept her waiting . Ya gotta make her feel like you are enjoying every moment, not just the sex itself. After 10 minutes from when i first put it in she had a leg shaking orgasm. I'll never forget the suprised look on her face. She told me afterwards that she was thinkin no way no freakin way right before she had one haha. I think I got it down now. Hope some of this helps. Good luck to ya!

 

[AnotherGuy]

Do you practice foreplay? Try making out for a while, kiss her neck, nibble on her shoulder, kiss and lick and suck on her breasts, kiss around her belly button, play with her thighs, tease her, rub her clit with your fingers and finger her. Concentrate on her breathing when she gets really worked up, slow it down and make out with her again, and then start over, do this a couple time's then start having sex, she should be extremely wet and hot and ready to orgasm. Try manuevering your penis inside her, I tend to notice if I try to grind my penis on the inside wall closest to a girls belly they get off pretty quickly, I do this by going in missionary and then pushing my hips into her and angling my erection so it come's back towards my stomach...grind away. Also you could try different stroke patterns, go short a couple time's then give 2 deep stroke's, just keep her on her toe's and don't get into a boring rhytHydromax. You have to keep these women guessing Make sure you touch her with both hands during sex, contact is important, caress her breasts, grab her thighs, ankle's, ass...just make her feel like you totally want her.

I'm not trying to put this on you, but every woman's sexual switch is turned on in a different way and once you find it she'll beg you to turn it on. Just don't let sex get routine and make it fun and you'll both enjoy it.