Quit being such a pussy!

[stillwantmore]

I know this will fall on mostly deaf ears, but here goes anyway. There seems to be a plethora (sorry its my new favorite word for "vast number") of men these days mostly ages 18-40 with some serious "whoa is me" issues. I'm talking about grown men who are acting like total pussies. Men who act like they need someone else to think highly of them in order to feel good about themselves. Men who act like if they dont have a girlfriend, or friends that makes them less of a man somehow. You are your own person. You do not need the approval of others to make you a man. You dont need to have friends or be popular either. You also dont need a woman, cum recepticle, "bitch", piece o' ass, ho whatever youre comfortable with calling her. Your happiness starts with YOU. If youre not happy for whatever the reason with who you are as a person, how the hell do you expect to be able to make anyone else happy? You cant. That's the bottomline. Happiness will not rub off on you, you will not absorb it via osmosis from other people either. You might feel happy around others, but it's only temporary and soon fades when youre alone again. Youre not a unique individual who has suffered more than anyone else in life. So quit feeling that way. Most people go through similar things in life, and they deal with it.

So how do you become happier about who you are? That's up to you really. I'm no psychologist but there are some very good books out there written by people who had it a LOT harder than you ever thought of having it in life, and persevered anyway. Get your lonely depressed ass down to a bookstore. Look in the "Self Help" section. Anthony Robbins is a great place to start. Pick up anything by that guy. If youre one of these nut jobs that likes to crank up the Slipknot and beat his head against the wall, get rid of the Slipknot cd, and get some Hatebreed. Much better message coming from those guys.

Thats it. The point here is, you can be happy no matter what your circumstances are. That's totally up to you. Not other people.

 

[KingJames]

Excellent post SWM! Below is a Poem which Sums up what you just said:

Man In the Mirror

If you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what the Man has to say

For it isn't a man's father, mother or wife
Whose judgment upon him must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in his life
Is the man staring back from the glass

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he's with you clear up to the end
And you've passed your most dangerous,
difficult test If the Man in the glass is your friend

You can fool the whole world down the
pathway of years and get pats on the back
as you pass but your final reward will be
heartache and tears If you've cheated
The Man in the glass.

(Apparently the origin of the poem is by an Inmate whom inscribed it on his cell wall the night before he was to be executed)

 

[Duppi_KronKite]

LOL

What a post. Im sure you could have gone into greater detail but that might make you look bad to the rest of the "Pussies" here since you are a MOD.

Like I have said before, for a Penis Enlargement forum there seems to be a lot of Estrogen in the air. Glad to see someone else was getting annoyed with the posts of "I have no friends boo whoo whooo".

 

[against_odds21]

Nice vent swm. I agree with your points.

 

[loco]

besides guys with the most self confidence get the most booty anyways. now that should be motivation.

 

[stillwantmore]

besides guys with the most self confidence get the most booty anyways. now that should be motivation.

Thing is though you dont even need much confidence to get "booty".

 

[goinfor11x7]

Good points, guys. You can really program, (kind of like self-talk), your mind to be as positive as you want to be. Read the self-help books recommended here. Avoid negative people and music. You can set out to have a good, fulfilling day or a shitty one--it's up to you. And you can always start your day over if the shit hits the fan.

As long as you're looking outside of yourself to fill the emptiness, whether it's in another person, sex, adult entertainment, or substances of any kind, it just ain't gonna happen. And StillWantMore is right. We all have these "holes in our souls." Sooooo?? That's the human condition. Make the most of it.

In the final analysis YOU'RE the person you're spending the rest of your life with. So you better start working on developing a relationship with yourself.

You can really change your outlook and then some of the things you're searching for and want so badly will come to you--they'll be drawn to you.

There's such a thing as wanting something or someone too much. You have to let these things go. Then they'll come to you if it's meant to be. Otherwise you're just beating against a brick wall.

Look at DLD. He's a wonderful example of positive thinking and actions.

 

[stillwantmore]

Good points there man. NOBODY is born a negative person. We're a direct result of shaping factors as we grow up. Outside influences, and how we take these influences into our minds and let them impact us. I'm not about to agree with the whole "he's a victim of his upbringing...no wonder he's a rapist or a murderer" side of the argument though like you see these so called "experts" spewing on various talk shows. Yes, we're all a direct result of outside influences in our lives as we grew up, however we are still in control of our minds and circumstances under most situations. You can still change who you are if you truly desire to.

 

[thefranchise]

Im gonna go ahead and be the one against this. I think people should feel free to come on this board and post about how they dont have any friends or girlfriends or whatever. Sometimes people just need to vent about those kind of things and ask for advice. Id like to think of [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] of more of a family type place, brotherhood. Rather than what was posted in this thread. SWM theres a lot of people that have chemical imbalances as well as other things that make them sad. While I agree with you happyness does come from being happy with yourself , I still think it's a bit harsh to alienate some poeple like that with your post.

 

[stillwantmore]

Im gonna go ahead and be the one against this. I think people should feel free to come on this board and post about how they dont have any friends or girlfriends or whatever. Sometimes people just need to vent about those kind of things and ask for advice. Id like to think of [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] of more of a family type place, brotherhood. Rather than what was posted in this thread. SWM theres a lot of people that have chemical imbalances as well as other things that make them sad. While I agree with you happyness does come from being happy with yourself , I still think it's a bit harsh to alienate some poeple like that with your post.

If you read everything I wrote, I did mention extreme cases. That generally includes head cases and people with chemical imbalances. As I said here: however we are still in control of our minds and circumstances under most situations.

 

[thefranchise]

Yeah you can be in control of your mind, but still theres a lot of stuff burried in your subconcious. A lot of stuff deep in your head that's hard to control. What person with no friends or a girl is happy anyways?

 

[REDZULU2003]

Still I think this is one of your best threads ever, makes alot of sense.
Have you started Pychology by anychance? it was that good.

 

[stillwantmore]

Ha ha no Red, but thanks anyway.

 

[stillwantmore]

Yeah you can be in control of your mind, but still theres a lot of stuff burried in your subconcious. A lot of stuff deep in your head that's hard to control. What person with no friends or a girl is happy anyways?

I'm happy with myself as a person. Sure, there's always room for improvement, but I dont go putting myself down because I may not be the most popular guy in town. While I enjoy the company of a woman, and do hope to someday marry one, I dont need a woman to make me complete or more of a man. That's the main point I was trying to make here. A guy can be a complete person, and happy without having a bunch of friends, or been viewed as "popular", or having a girlfriend.

 

[goinfor11x7]

I think it's good to be able to "vent" on a forum like this too. This can be very positive and healthy. But if you find yourself constantly "venting," then you need to take an action. "Move a muscle; change a thought." This is a great saying.

 

[kdogg101]

I'm happy with myself as a person. Sure, there's always room for improvement, but I don't go putting myself down because I may not be the most popular guy in town. While I enjoy the company of a woman, and do hope to someday marry one, I don't need a woman to make me complete or more of a man. That's the main point I was trying to make here. A guy can be a complete person, and happy without having a bunch of friends, or been viewed as "popular", or having a girlfriend.

SWM lets ask some questions here. Would you be happy living a life of isolation with racism, emotional, physical (abuse as a child), living through 13 yrs of going through that day in and day out? Also being threatened to have your ass kicked or dead if you talk to a girl in your hometown? Also never having friends in your life for 13 yrs and sitting at home every weekend would that not make you change your thoughts about the stuff you said in this post? There is threshold of how much a person can take before you feel like throwing in the towel and I know this from living through this kinda crap what that is like. I respect the people who come out of these kind of circumstances without turning into an alcoholic or drug addict and I wouldn't call them a pussy. I believe also that you have to have experienced that kind of life to understand what it is like( not sure if you have but the way you are talking it doesn't look like it) Thats my 2cents about this topic.

 

[Shafty]

One thing I've noticed about these people who are the first to voice their dissent at someone venting about his emotional/spiritual/mental anguish is that they all seem to have an inability to step into the other person's shoes. Pain is a very subjective experience, and the degree to which one suffers from it cannot be judged or belittled by others. Some people are more sensitive to life's hardships than others. These people probably also feel the highs of life much more deeply than their "hardass", real macho and emotionally dead peers. Of course there are the occasional whiny teenagers whose pain stems from superficial sources, but I think most people who still carry their pain with them as adults have experienced some degree of trauma as a child, whether it's something they can remember, or something from when they were little, still embedded in their subconscious minds. One could argue that for these people it's not a good idea to come to a Penis Enlargement forum which is already filled to the brim with folks trying to get a quick fix for their deeply rooted problems via getting a bigger dick, and that they should turn to professional help, but the way I see it, if they can get anything off their chest and make themselves feel better, even if it's on an internet forum, then there is no harm in that. Maybe that person can't bring himself to see a shrink for whatever reason at that time in his life, and maybe he doesn't have anyone to spill his guts out to (friends or family). One more thing: no one is forcing anyone to read these threads (besides, it's not like there are enough of threads like these to clutter up the forums.... if that were the case, I might feel the same, but it ain't). I see tons of topics and posters that piss me off, but I don't make a point out of stepping in and putting them in their place, when it is not my position to do so. The same applies here.

 

[stillwantmore]

SWM lets ask some questions here. Would you be happy living a life of isolation with racism, emotional, physical (abuse as a child), living through 13 yrs of going through that day in and day out? Also being threatened to have your ass kicked or dead if you talk to a girl in your hometown? Also never having friends in your life for 13 yrs and sitting at home every weekend would that not make you change your thoughts about the stuff you said in this post? There is threshold of how much a person can take before you feel like throwing in the towel and I know this from living through this kinda crap what that is like. I respect the people who come out of these kind of circumstances without turning into an alcoholic or drug addict and I wouldn't call them a pussy. I believe also that you have to have experienced that kind of life to understand what it is like( not sure if you have but the way you are talking it doesn't look like it) Thats my 2cents about this topic.

So, what are you doing then to change your circumstances and or surroundings? We all come from different backgrounds. You still have the power to shape how you ultimately end up however. I grew up in an emotionally abusive single parent household myself. My mom raised me the best she could. I saw boyfriends come and go, my mom drinking herself sick some nights. I've been the geek, the outcast, the kid who got picked on by the black kids, the guy who couldnt get a date till his senior year in high school, I've had my share of ups and downs. I chose not to be a victim though and let my PAST determine who I ended up being. I could have grown up a skinhead, an alcoholic, someone who abused others, a loner, or all of those if I'd chosen to. Sometimes it takes a really good look in the mirror, and a determining of what you are willing to accept in your life and no longer willing to accept.

Not counting the mentally disabled, legitimate head cases who actually need drugs to fix whats wrong, or the unfortunate souls in third world countries with no opportunity, if you have the blessing of being born in a free country, you can end up where you chose in your life.

On a side note, notice how I did not say "Hey kdogg" (or whoever else) quit being such a pussy. This post is a general address to a generic crowd. Whether that crowd consists of existing forum members, newbies, lurkers or whoever.

 

[stillwantmore]

And personally to Kdogg, if youre taking positive steps in your own life...no matter how small they may seem...as long as youre taking them in order to change whatever you may be unhappy with, or to help heal whatever emotional pains you may be holding onto from the past, I SALUTE you. Youre one of the minority these days who will seek out their inner strengths to find themself, and make the kind of life they feel they deserve.

 

[Girthius]

The journey to the top of the shit heap starts within one's self!Look at yourself, and discard what is crap, and work on what needs to be worked on, always moving forward!!If you do this, you will make it to the top!!Now just do it!!!

Girthius

 

[TomdW]

SWM, I agree with your original post. Happiness is up to the individual.

In relation to what kdogg said about certain people being persecuted, I believe that no matter what is done to you or no matter what your situation, you are still the only one that is responsible, and as a result, potentially in control of your emotions.

As I grew up my family split up. I ended looking after my mother, that is a violent alcoholic, at the age of 9. I also had severe psoriasis ( a skin condition ) from the ages of 11 to 20 and ended up in hospital 5 times and was bullied in school very badly. My mum went into rehab when I was 15 and whilst she was there and I was living on my own a local psycho came round my house and beat me up with a base ball bat. He also smashed up my house and stole various things. This ,for some reason, I still feel responsible for. This kind of thing is ongoing in my life e.g. my dad is now having his first child with his new family.

The point in me writing this is not for sympathy as I fully realize that this kind of thing happens to almost everyone, it is so that you don't just think that I have my opinions due to the fact that I have had it easy. The difference with some people is the way that they deal with it. It is in my opinion within everyones ability to control their thoughts and feelings. As an example, think of the Tibetan monks that were tortured for years after the Chinese invasion. In fact they were tortured for decades, all the way to their deaths but at all times they remained in control of their thoughts and as a result....happy.

Admittedly this is an extreme example that would require serious dedication but everyone can apply the same focused control over themselves. It is a trend in the modern world for men and women to fill certain voids in their character with other people in the form of relationships. It is in my opinion these kinds of relationship that are destructive ones because if you are not entirely ok in yourself then how is it possible for you to be so with anyone else? It is not and the problem that was inside you will simply become a problem in the relationship.

That said I also believe that it is good to talk through problems. So it is also a good thing for people that are 'down' to share this. For the record, the company that I enjoy the most is my own although it is important to be close to others.

 

[stillwantmore]

By the way I watched a show last night on the "Spike TV" channel hosted by the awesome Samuel Jackson called "Martial Arts in Movies" or something very close to that. There was plenty of discussion as well as some recorded tv interviews of Bruce Lee. I felt like he made a great quote:
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.

 

[Fishmunkey]

Life is very much like a game of [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83810-MoS-Online-Texas-Holdem-Poker-League-and-Tournament-to-win-P-E-Prizes!!!]poker[/words] in that, everybody is dealt a different set of cards and you do the BEST with the cards that YOU were dealt. I see SWM's point with the original post and I do think that many people are unhappy because they get caught up worrying about everybody else and how much better THEY have it when if they spent that time and enengy on themselves in a positive manner, they could be that much better off.

 

[penguinsfan]

This is a good thread, but sometimes you're just dealt a shitty hand. Sometimes you're holding around a 14 or so against the dealer's face card of an [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?44-Ace-Strapped-Jims-Joint]ace[/words] and, statistically, you're as well to surrender as to play out the hand.

I find myself very depressed, angry, and to be honest with you lonely too. That is just because I've had a couple of my closest friends leave my life through things like a job move and marriage. I am 30 years old and the highlight of my week is usually hitting the local Blockbuster and watching movies on Saturday night...by myself. The girl thing is bad enough, but doesn't bother me too bad (I've never had a girlfriend, so I'm used to it). However, when you lose some of your closest guy friends, it can really be devastating. It is not a matter of me being a pussy, but it does suck. I rarely talk about it to anyone. I don't rely on others to have self-worth. I have no illusions about what I'm worth. I'm not worth very much at all and that has to do a lot with decisions I made years ago. Financially, I'm damn-near crippled. Physically, I've had many ailments spring up the last couple of years. The problem is I just don't really see life getting much better for me. I can't really see how I can drastically improve my situation. I can't afford to go back to school right now, and if I could it would be a huge undertaking. I really sometimes think I've peaked in life. In an odd sense, sometimes I think I could die in peace now, because I just don't see it getting too much better. I don't bellyache about it. This is probably the most complaining I've really done. Usually, I try and laugh about it sometimes, shaking my head at how I fucked up at some point or another.

 

[KiTTie8695]

If youre one of these nut jobs that likes to crank up the Slipknot and beat his head against the wall, get rid of the Slipknot cd, and get some Hatebreed. Much better message coming from those guys.

Fuck that Slipknot is way better.
:rocker:

 

[penguinsfan]

Fuck that Slipknot is way better.
:rocker:

Does Before I forget rock or what? Hell yeah!

 

[KiTTie8695]

Does Before I forget rock or what? Hell yeah!

MHydromax

 

[KiTTie8695]

bwahaha

 

[kdogg101]

I used to listen to slipknot alot but they still rule(Y) anyway in response to SWM I moved away from my town, got more sociable, got accepted at a college in a city instead of a small town, dropped all the downers, dropped the party group, started talking more to girls, don't talk as much to mom or dad,and pretty much dropped all the people that were getting me down. Today I am not depressed. I use the experience I have to help others so they don't throw in the towel. I am happy I changed not like one of the downers I used to hang with who just bitched about getting away from his parents and the town. SWM your right about the thread not being personalized for me but thanks for the suggestions you made before. Also that quote on SpikeTV was very inspirational.

 

[KiTTie8695]

Yeah. Seeing how I'm not a guy in this situation, but whatever, I haven't been depressed for a long while now, I've turned over a new leaf I think and took a turn for the best.
And I'm hyperactive as a muttha fucka but that's just usual for me anyways.
lol

I also have to agree with thefranchise on what he said. It makes sense, honestly.

and to SWM, that's a good message, I suppose, for guys only, anyway.
but I thought you loved Slipknot. Or maybe I'm mistaken...people must change or somethin.

 

[stillwantmore]

I still like slipnot silly.

 

[KiTTie8695]

Wow okay, my bad then.
You just made it sound like they sucked.

 

[stumpy]

The journey to the top of the shit heap starts within one's self!Look at yourself, and discard what is crap, and work on what needs to be worked on, always moving forward!!If you do this, you will make it to the top!!Now just do it!!!

Girthius

All good advice, except for the "journey to the top of the shit heap" part.
Step away from the "shit heap" and make your own journey.

 

[stillwantmore]

OR, you could just do like a lot of folks do and say "whoa is me", throw in the towel, play a victim and expect everyone to cater to you the rest of your life.

 

[KiTTie8695]

penis waffle.

 

[Girthius]

All good advice, except for the "journey to the top of the shit heap" part.
Step away from the "shit heap" and make your own journey.

The "shit heap" refers to all that is bad in the life of a person that is having problems.To get away from it you must climb to the top, so as not to be buried by it!You can not expect to run away from it or to try to start another journey down another path.Many of the problems a person may encounter in life, are within, and will not be resolved, until that person takes a long look at himself, so running away is not an option!!!.Of course if you are one of the lucky ones, and you are setting on a huge heap of roses, then you have nothing to worry about, and life is a dottle!But that is a rariety, as life is very challenging and tough for most folk!Through the endless struggles of life, many lessons can be learnt, but if not etched in the mind, will be repeated many times!So learn, progress, and move forward!

Girthius

 

[Andithilion]

If youre one of these nut jobs that likes to crank up the Slipknot and beat his head against the wall, get rid of the Slipknot cd, and get some Hatebreed. Much better message coming from those guys.

This I totally disagree with. I listen to Slipknot a lot, and they have a very good message if you're willing to discern it. You can't expect them to just throw it at you, though. Sometimes it takes a little effort to see what a band is saying. Especially their new CD, The Subliminal Verses, I think it was a much better message than their other two. People always tell me I wouldn't be so angry/depressed if I listened to different music, but for me, this music helps me channel my anger into something other than violence/self-mutilation (Yes, I used to be a cutter). I don't think there's a single thing that can drive a person to depression/anger, it's a culmination of things. The music you listen to can only make you hate yourself if the seeds of it are already there. I once tried listening to classical music for a month, and I was angrier that month than I have ever been. When I went back to Slipknot/Nightwish/Disturbed, I calmed down a lot.

On everything else you said, SWM, I agree though :s

 

[penguinsfan]

For the record, Disturbed is some good shit.

 

[KiTTie8695]

For the record, Disturbed is some good shit.

Right on, brotha :rocker:

This I totally disagree with. I listen to Slipknot a lot, and they have a very good message if you're willing to discern it. You can't expect them to just throw it at you, though. Sometimes it takes a little effort to see what a band is saying. Especially their new CD, The Subliminal Verses, I think it was a much better message than their other two. People always tell me I wouldn't be so angry/depressed if I listened to different music, but for me, this music helps me channel my anger into something other than violence/self-mutilation (Yes, I used to be a cutter). I don't think there's a single thing that can drive a person to depression/anger, it's a culmination of things. The music you listen to can only make you hate yourself if the seeds of it are already there. I once tried listening to classical music for a month, and I was angrier that month than I have ever been. When I went back to Slipknot/Nightwish/Disturbed, I calmed down a lot.

I couldn't agree with you more on that, I also use Slipknot's music to relax, yeah it sounds weird to A LOT of people, but really I'm not an angry person unless provoked or whatever. I just love the messages they send out. System Of A Down has some GREAT stuff in their songs too, like Chop Suey! that's one of my favorites because they're talking about how Jesus was tortured on the cross and they yell out the last words he spoke before he died.

 

[orbital]

White trash bullshit music.

 

[KiTTie8695]

White trash bullshit music.

Yep, we all love you too.

 

[Andithilion]

White trash bullshit music.

How very tolerant of you. Now, shall we discuss how 'trashy' rap can be, or country? Or should we just -not- be purposefuly intolerant of other people's music just because we don't like it?