Sunday march 3rd
11:00 PM
2x20mins
hanging 14-16 pounds. The 85mm silisleeve got slippery and slipped down pressing into my glans, pinching and burning discomfort.
Now I tried the long one 145 mm SiliSleeve in the second set, and it felt more comfortable. I have issues with water particles in the silicone
sleeve’s surface, it’s like once it gets wet, due to sweaty fingers trying to roll back the
sleeve and put it on my shaft, the wetness doesn’t go away and stays inside the
sleeve.
I have also noticed that when you put on a longer
sleeve you get a more overall stretch, like the whole skin shaft gets stretched and your groin area skin as well, the skin of the pubic bone area etc.
So I was a bit sore and didn’t feel like doing another set anymore. Got annoyed with it, tomorrow is a new day. I also think the 20 mm diameter long SiliSleeve is a bit too much compressing on the shaft, i’d need a 27 mm diameter long
sleeve to put on as a night stretcher / day stretcher
I really gravitate more and more towards the
SiliStretcher, I really want that thing so I can start vaccuum
hanging, I hope that won’t give me too many glans fluid build up problems though....
I have measured my BPFSL and it’s not surprising that I didn’t gain anything. It’s still 19.9 cm (7.8”)
I am only
hanging for a month now so, this is only the beginning. Because school will get more and more intense, I might stay on a “maintenance” phase with 1-2’sets maximum per day.
Sometimes I just want to give up, but I was thinking about what future that would give me. A future of depression, resentment towards women,
Hateful towards women, hating myself for not being able to accomplish PE goals, hating myself for being average, and not dating or participating ever again in sex because I truly believe one cannot satisfy a woman without at least 8x6 inches. I have got this in my head, and nobody can talk me out of it.
It’s literally doing my fucking PE sets, or fucking die already. PE is a matter of life and death for me. Without 9 inch, I really don’t want to live this life. Got nothing to live for. I chose the wrong body for incarnation LOL.
My studies are holding me back, and it becomes more and more a hassle to keep everything running, so I need to make this sacrifice. Less time for PE.
I find some peace and spiritual strength in my
Void meditations, chakra meditations, I can feel my third eye already opening a bit. I can sense and feel energies, I feel my spirit companions are touching me several times during the day. It’s getting more and more intense.
I am also preparing for spiritual enlightenment and ascension, a kundalini awakening. I want to open up to the paranormal world, and astral project to see my spirit guides. I want to ask them where it went so terribly wrong in my life and with PE ?
Maybe my tunica shaft is too scarred from all the corpus cavernosum tearing and popping while excessively high and masturbating on drugs. Maybe I can hang 100 pounds, or 150 pounds, without ever growing, because too much scars have build up in my shaft.