Friday january 25th
10:30 AM
Guys I have to admit something. Last night I felt down in a very negative depressive spiral. I was thinking about suicide and fortunately I was completely alone in my room. I lied down to meditate and overthink my sadness. I have alot of deep unresolved subconscious issues. I have angerness and fear in me. This nonsense made me think about PE, why am I doing this, and why am I living.
I’m trying to cope with the cards that i’ve been dealt. I’m basically an incel, and that is because I started to go bald at the age of 14. My looks were good, I had thick black hair, but it’s all gone. There’s this
scale called the “Norwoord
Scale” for male pattern baldness. You have stage 1-6 or something and I am at stage 6. The worse
scale to have at puberty. That shit really fucked me up. And now i’m trying to compensate with PE, gym training, fashion etc etc.
I just feel like a complete retarded fool. I am dancing to the tunes of a woman. I feel like a dancing monkey, trying to win validation from women. Why do I want to feel desired? As a man you don’t need women. You have a mission here on earth.
Why do I want / need to feel validated by women? I hate that shit. I’m starved/ deprived of female attention. I feel like a complete loser and i’m basically invisible to women. And when a woman looks at me, I feel very uncomfortable... I feel inadequate.
All the loops we have to jump through, being social, having emotional intelligence, being handsome, being tall, having nice white teeth, having a head full of hair, not being a bald loser, earning high income, having low bodyfat, HAVING A BIG COCK, Being a player who fucks lots of hot girls, so you get the instant social proof and you’ll instantly be desired by all girls that night when going out to a venue/club/bar whatever
I was about to give up, and just live like a monk or something. Fuck the dating market. Fuck feminism, and fuck all that dating / attraction shit. I’m signing out.
I wish I could go back to being a kid, I truly happy back then, just playing all day long, no worries, no girls, no complicated shit.
So what’s left when you sign off the dating market? When you swear you’ll never date again? Basically i’m all alone, truly living in solitude, forever.
I was so depressed it made me feel worthless and doubting PE. I am avoiding women and I don’t think I will ever go back into a relationship again, or even fucking a woman. Way too much of a hassle. No motivation for that shit.
I was so sore yesterday I naturally declined my remaining sets. I did only 6 minutes of stretching and I lost 24 minutes and 200 jelqs because of this stupid nonsense.
I hate the fact that i’m so deeply sensitive. I fucking hate that, that’s why I also tried to numb my feelings down with harddrugs and I abused it alot.
I still feel a gravitational pull towards PE, even in these dark times. I hate myself. Maybe I have to stretch less intense, so that I can push through soreness, but i’m afraid I won’t gain.
I seriously started to think if it’s better to just start
hanging, my hands will be free. But I have this problem that I have to go home to my parents house once a month. I don’t have privacy there. I’m going back to see my parents and my dad gives me money. I can’t stay away from them. I cannot isolate myself unfortunately.
I can’t lock myself up and hang for two hours. That will raise alot of questions in my family.
This
hanging stuff, is so unforgiving, you can’t miss a day, otherwise you just let your exhausted tunica heal and come back stronger and tougher, you’re just have to increase the
weights and hang with more plates..... Fucking retarded stupid nonsense. Why does the human body work like that !?
So lets say I rest during the weekend, that will fuck up my progress and “riding-the-fatigue-state”. It completely neglects the goal of
hanging. You’re doing quite the opposite. Making a stronger and tougher tunica. ?????
And now my dick is so stupid, it becomes super hard while strapping in my
lengthmaster. And when I start my stretching it stays hard, this causes erect stretching and I become so fucking sore that I cannot go further,
My own dick is hindering my
lengthmaster progress. Because an erect tunica takes even more force to stretch good, it’s all a dead end.
I don’t want to waste time and wait until my erection goes away etc. I have to study alot and I waste too much time.
i wish my dick was completely flaccid so that I can twist it a lot and stretch.
????
So today i’ll try to get in my 30 minutes of bundled stretching. My soreness is gone I think and I try to do my 200 jelqs and kegels.
I hate my dick soreness, does that mean i’m riding the fatigue with my
lengthmaster? Is that beneficial? Maybe I have to stretch so hard that I have extreme soreness? That way my dick will stay flaccid? Is that hurting my progress or actually building length gains?
If I try to twist with my dick soreness I feel a dull sometimes sharp pain in my shaft.
Please guys, tell me your experiences/ recommendations, i’ll start my stretching sets now.
, they keep coming back for more. That’s the size and sex they talk about when having an awesome godly big dick experience.
Also you can look into having a close shave and filling in with some discrete micropigmentation in the hairline, just has to be very light color very discrete to not look fake, the youtuber BasedShaman has a hairline tatoo and he rocks that look.
So during the day I will do my remaining 4 sets, and I can go even higher than that because it’s weekend! 
