Sunday may 27th
Kegel training
Fast twitch pc muscles
Pc kegel clamps 5*5*10g
Pc reverse kegel clamps 5*5*10g
SiliStretcher Triangle
hanging sets
1st set: 2 kg (4.4 lbs ) for 30 mins
2nd set: 2.5 kg (5.5 lbs) for 30 mins
3rd set: 3 kg (6.6 lbs) for 30 mins
4th set: 3.5 kg (7.7 lbs) for 30 mins
5th set: 4 kg (8.8 lbs) for 30 mins
6th set: 4.5 kg (9.9lbs) for 30 mins
7th set: 5 kg (11 lbs) for 30 mins
8th set: 5 kg (11 lbs) for 30 mins
9th set: 4.5 kg (9.9lbs) for 30 mins
10th set: 4 kg (8.8 lbs) for 30 mins
11th set: 3.5 kg (7.7 lbs) for 30 mins
12th set: 3 kg (6.6 lbs) for 30 mins
13th set: 2.5 kg (5.5 lbs) for 30 mins
14th set 2 kg (4.4 lbs) for 30 mins
This is my plan for today to induce fatigue with the triangle
SiliStretcher programme. I think I don’t have to go that high as stated in my set, like 5 kg would be really heavy, i’d be suprised if I could handle that, but my tunica has healed itself and came back stronger in my down time so...
Let’s see what happens today. I quit
hanging last night after becoming so depressed and I think it’s a side effect of the medication I am taking.
But I live as a monk, I never go outside I don’t have any social circle or friends that live in my city. I have to go back to the other side of the country to visit one friend I have left.
This doom thinking really got me last night and I quit
hanging after 3.5 hours and I was wondering why am I putting in all this effort. I wish I could experience some ego death, or something which would disconnect me from society and social hierarchies, wether we like it or not, we all have a place in society. Nowadays it’s all about looks money status, big muscles, being a Chad, ripped, and being considerably above average to have a chance on tinder. Let’s not forget about the social skills, social dominance, and social proofs and what not that one must possess....
So I had this mental breakdown and I wanted to basically escape everything and start concentrating more on my spiritual path, it’s the only way to stay sane and mentally healthy if you are in my position.
Also there’s a small chance the medication won’t work for me which means I have to settle for low testosterone levels for the rest of my life. I am totally broken, and if your masculinity is taken away there’s really not much else (or nothing ) to live for.
Your testosterone if your life force which makes you do incredible things, your passion, ambition, drive and intrinsic motivation to do stuff, it’s all gone, and on top of that I still don’t have improvements in libido or other symptoms. I’ll get my hormones checked within a few weeks to test wether the first 30 days have been helpful with testosterone restoration.
My sexual prowess is completely gone, and everything I do is so sluggish, I don’t have energy, i’m mentally instable, emotional and I don’t know What the point is to do PE or any training whatsoever if my testosterone levels are low and I refuse to go on TRT. I’m 26 years old and I cannot afford it. I’m a very poor college student, and I struggle in college to pass exams and if I don’t pass enough exams they will kick me out for good in the summer. Maybe I have to drop PE and gym training all together just to be able to 100% concentrate properly on studies.
It all boils down to my low testosterone symptoms, I fucked myself up so bad.