When my PE and self image combine...

It is so incredibly hard for me to wade through the waters of time, money and commitment in my life of PE. Self doubt is both a massive demon and a motivator of mine. I've quit PE several times and I'm starting to remember exactly why. I measured my BPFS last week and was literally a hair under 9.25". For the past couple days I couldn't hit the same BPFS if my life depended on it. This push pull and tug relationship with PE messes with my head a lot more then I'd like to admit.

I've tried the "throw my rulers away" tactic. That shit doesn't worth with me. I ended up downloading a ruler on my phone and started measuring things to check my measurements with. My girth has increased from 5.2 to around 5.3-5.35. BUT the fucked up thing is that if I pinch the measuring tape with just a little more force I jump back down to 5.20-5.25. This makes me question my previous measuring tactics a GREAT deal. When am I ever measuring properly and not letting the tape loose to boost my stats and make me feel good about my routine? Sometimes this doesn't bother me and sometimes it really fucks with me.

I don't doubt PE but i sometimes hear voices that doubt PE on my body. The only piece of reality that snaps me out of this negative thinking is when I try to pinch the tape to 5" girth. I can't do it and it hurts. That's the main reminder that something has changed girth-wise.

I recent read an article that was written on DLD many years ago:
https://www.salon.com/2005/04/12/salvini/

I am so happy to see that he has faced similar types of thoughts and measurement battles 10 times over! I've known this for many years but it was refreshing seeing it from another point of view. When I make gains...my penis doesn't transform into a new penis. It's the same old dick between my legs but the rulers say different numbers (like I'm in the twilight zone). It's like taking a photo and increasing the zoom by 0.01 every month. Every month my mind looks at my dick and immediately says "YUP I recognize this dick. SAME ol thing. Don't bother taking the ruler out because I see zero gains". My beginning measurements make no sense to me what-so-ever. Was I drunk or high when I took those measurements....? Seriously. I would bet my life savings on the fact that I've had the same thing between my legs my entire life. It's just what my eyes see and the visual tricks that I feel that I'm plagued with.

I was 19 going on 20 when I first found the brother hood over 13 years ago. I don't think a single thing has helped me so much with my male health and self image. But I was young and hardly dedicated. I wait and tried again in 2009. I was still not ready for the PE fight. I am now 33 and have learned a lot about life. I will not quit on myself if I get discouraged and I promise to voice my concerns if I do feel the urge to give up. But this incremental gain is an absolute curse. I can train myself to bench press 3 plates a side and jump almost 4 feet off the ground faster than my body will give me 0.5 inches of girth. That takes a hidden shot to my ego.... I know first world problems huh? Anyway I must remind myself that I'm thankful for life, thankful that my family is relatively healthy, and aside from some nagging sports injuries I am healthy as well. I am particularly thankful for you guys and how much you have helped my mind and insecurities settle down in my raging 20's.

Well written thoughts Egg, certainly a motivational piece for us newer folks. I damn near fell out of my chair when you stated that you measured last week and was just shy of 9.25". That is some serious length and the girth is impressive as well. I can't say for sure but if/when my ruler hits 9.25, mic drop, lol. Thanks for sharing this

Lookn4girth;746021 said:

Well written thoughts Egg, certainly a motivational piece for us newer folks. I damn near fell out of my chair when you stated that you measured last week and was just shy of 9.25". That is some serious length and the girth is impressive as well. I can't say for sure but if/when my ruler hits 9.25, mic drop, lol. Thanks for sharing this

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Thank you! You might not believe me but it was your progress thread that has made me post this. I admire the fact that you have started a thread and post your routines so often. Something I wish I did but was too ashamed to do it. I should do it NOW but it's so hard for me to take that step and post all about girth wrangling! Please take pictures, a lot of them throughout your PE journey. I've tried taking girth pics and I end up deleting them a day later because I don't like the way they look.

Thank you for the compliment egg. I understand about the pictures. I take one and delete it, i take another and delete it. It got me to thinking, i am no photographer and they are not gracing the cover of a magazine so if it is not print quality, who cares, as long as it shows my progress or accomplishment, the only ones seeing them is the wife, myself and the guys here, and maybe Mrs dread but she has seen dicks before so it is no big deal, lol.

Lookn4girth;746027 said:

and maybe Mrs dread

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Bwhahhaha!! 🤣😂😁😆.

My PE journey began before I even knew about PE (in the locker room after basketball practice, inner-city youth AAU) and that has both scarred and fueled me into seeking-out any/all 'possibilities' to increase size.
Your experiences probably 'ring-true' with 95% of us (and the other 5% haven't 'connected the dots' yet)...your brain requires that 'known quantities' remain static so it can deal-with all the variables that the outside world present. If you had to question all of the 'constants', there'd be no space to figure-out how not to get eaten by a predator.
When we go-about changing any of these things that our brain believes to be unchangeable, we also have to train it to accept what is new. I know I struggle mightily with this and question each and every 'perceived gain' as being untrue, (my saving grace is that stupid gauge stuck to the side of my X40...all peeling and tattered from age/use).
So yes, I'm certain we all have those internal mental battles...I do everything I can to accept what I see (while using empirical data-points) to battle what my brain is telling me.
You will overcome, just remain vigilant

Big Schwanz Acht;746046 said:

My PE journey began before I even knew about PE (in the locker room after basketball practice, inner-city youth AAU) and that has both scarred and fueled me into seeking-out any/all 'possibilities' to increase size.

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Thank you! My PE journey began when I was 19 and my GF put her hands down my pants one day and very innocently asked me why my penis felt smaller that day. Prior to that comment dude I swear to God penis size was never a thought in my head. I've been pants'd infront of my friends as a joke and that never bothered me. It was actually funny. After she made that comment it as if an explosion went off in my head. God bless her, she meant no harm but it changed me forever...

Big Schwanz Acht;746046 said:

My PE journey began before I even knew about PE (in the locker room after basketball practice, inner-city youth AAU) and that has both scarred and fueled me into seeking-out any/all 'possibilities' to increase size.
Your experiences probably 'ring-true' with 95% of us (and the other 5% haven't 'connected the dots' yet)...your brain requires that 'known quantities' remain static so it can deal-with all the variables that the outside world present. If you had to question all of the 'constants', there'd be no space to figure-out how not to get eaten by a predator.
When we go-about changing any of these things that our brain believes to be unchangeable, we also have to train it to accept what is new. I know I struggle mightily with this and question each and every 'perceived gain' as being untrue, (my saving grace is that stupid gauge stuck to the side of my X40...all peeling and tattered from age/use).
So yes, I'm certain we all have those internal mental battles...I do everything I can to accept what I see (while using empirical data-points) to battle what my brain is telling me.
You will overcome, just remain vigilant

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BSA getting deep on us here, lol. Good points and very true TBH

Egghed;746050 said:

Thank you! My PE journey began when I was 19 and my GF put her hands down my pants one day and very innocently asked me why my penis felt smaller that day. Prior to that comment dude I swear to God penis size was never a thought in my head. I've been pants'd infront of my friends as a joke and that never bothered me. It was actually funny. After she made that comment it as if an explosion went off in my head. God bless her, she meant no harm but it changed me forever...

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Ouch, that will leave a mark

There were several events growing up that shaped me but also scarred me...being a good athlete, but a 'late-bloomer' and a serious 'grower' made the post game locker room a mine-field of potential ridicule. (I'd feign having a bowel movement so I could try and have a minute or two to stretch myself back to normal) sounds crazy, but that's what I came-up with as a solution...sometimes it worked and other times...

This was 40+ years ago and the imprint was so strong that I can recall those feelings immediately. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I venture north of the border just to have some random girl look in shock/awe when she sees my erection.

Lookn4girth;746054 said:

Ouch, that will leave a mark

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Lol yeah. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it. What sucks is that she was really asking me and waiting for a response. I just sat there speechless for about 5 seconds (felt like 5 minutes) and tried to come up with an explanation. She had the most puzzled look on her face too 😩😖. I shouldn't have felt inadequate from that but somehow I did. She could have asked me the same question about my bicep or my leg and I would have been 100% fine.

Egghed;746056 said:

Lol yeah. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it. What sucks is that she was really asking me and waiting for a response. I just sat there speechless for about 5 seconds (felt like 5 minutes) and tried to come up with an explanation. She had the most puzzled look on her face too 😩😖. I shouldn't have felt inadequate from that but somehow I did. She could have asked me the same question about my bicep or my leg and I would have been 100% fine.

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I believe Hallmark has a thank you card for this

Big Schwanz Acht;746057 said:

I believe Hallmark has a thank you card for this

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That would be one hell of a card,

Egghed;746056 said:

Lol yeah. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it. What sucks is that she was really asking me and waiting for a response. I just sat there speechless for about 5 seconds (felt like 5 minutes) and tried to come up with an explanation. She had the most puzzled look on her face too 😩😖. I shouldn't have felt inadequate from that but somehow I did. She could have asked me the same question about my bicep or my leg and I would have been 100% fine.

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Consider this Egg, what would be her response now if she could reach down the pants. If she asked that same question again, you would pretty much know what her lifestyle has been like, lol

I've often considered looking-up past relationships and seeing if I could rekindle any feelings...then wait for her reaction, lol

Big Schwanz Acht;746057 said:

I believe Hallmark has a thank you card for this

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Hahaha. With a dick pic in the folds of the card.

Lookn4girth;746062 said:

Consider this Egg, what would be her response now if she could reach down the pants. If she asked that same question again, you would pretty much know what her lifestyle has been like, lol

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Lol I'll just hire kingsnake to hit her over the head with his penis or DLD if he still into contractor work. The other day I though about adjusting my goal to 10 instead of 9.5. This slippery slope of setting goals is like a perverted Alice in wonderland rabbit hole. 😆

Egghed;746065 said:

Hahaha. With a dick pic in the folds of the card.



Lol I'll just hire kingsnake to hit her over the head with his penis or DLD if he still into contractor work. The other day I though about adjusting my goal to 10 instead of 9.5. This slippery slope of setting goals is like a perverted Alice in wonderland rabbit hole. 😆

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How do you figure the media would handle that story. Woman hit over head with penis suffers concussion.....suspect still on the loose....we are awaiting a description on said penis from local law enforcement,

we have all felt this man good to see we arent alone

Thanks for the link to theArticle on Penis Enlargement with DLD at Salon Magazine. I always misplace it and now I have it for good! Very fun interview and a very big step for the PE world. I lost many friends and family for coming out as I did but the Brotherhood means that much to me!

Excellent article Egg, glad to have you back on the scene spreading knowledge!

doublelongdaddy;746153 said:

Thanks for the link to theArticle on Penis Enlargement with DLD at Salon Magazine. I always misplace it and now I have it for good! Very fun interview and a very big step for the PE world. I lost many friends and family for coming out as I did but the Brotherhood means that much to me!

Excellent article Egg, glad to have you back on the scene spreading knowledge!

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The work that is being done on this site promotes so much positive male growth I am completely lost for words when you say that you lost friends and family. People have been talked out of destructive surgeries here. People talk about and overcome depression, STDs, physical health and bad confidence because the work that has been forged at MoS.

When I read that article I felt like I was reading some sort of ancient scripture on the first Male PE superhero. That was such an epic article that my palms got sweaty reading it. E P I C. Lol he called your penis a tentacle bro.. 🦑🦑🦑. Does anyone understand how much fucking public doubt, personal doubt, hard work, discipline, SACRIFICE, time, injuries sweat and determination has to be manifested for someone to refer to your member as a tentacle. That should be turned into a brotherhood parchment rolled up like a scroll and thrown in a golden chest.