peoples personal imput would be great

I have a dilema going on in my head right now about a girl that i met on labor day weekend, and to everyone i have talked to they have said i have done nothing wrong to get to this outcome. I would like to go through the whole story but it could end out dragged out or boring so, if it becomes this way im very sorry i just want to make sure all the facts are out there for you guys.

It started the saturday night of labour day weekend i was helping a friend at an old bar i work at dj, and these two girls come up and start requesting songs (long before it got busy), so we start playing them and next thing i know one of the girls goes "Im new in town, I left my psyco boyfriend while he was on holidays and came here to live with my uncle and aunt. I don't have many friends." So I thought i would be nice and gave her my cell phone number although being in the bar figured she wouldn't call cause she would drink herself stupid. As the night went on she would come back up and talk to my friend and I, and to be honest i don't really pay attention to the girls in the bar (cause most are hoochies that want free shit). I guess my buddy was trying to hook her up with a friend of his that was also there and she gave him this really gross look and then started looking at me, I didn't notice.

Later that night before she left with her friend and aunt, she comes up kisses me twice and says "I'm going shopping with my aunt outta town for school, ill call you monday when i get in."

Monday comes along and no phone call (said she tried to text message me but i don't have that on my cell phone). So tuesday while im working i get this call on my cell, Its her and because i had to work i told her to call back later after i was off work. She called exactly at the time i said i was off work, so i told her to let me finish what i was doing and that i would phone her when i got home. So i did that and she told me how her shopping trip went.

Then every night for that week she is calling me to see how my day was, until the friday when she appeared at the bar with her aunt and some of her aunts friends (ALLL HOT). Now i still havn't gotten a proper read on this girl so i kinda stay away and avoid any uncomfortable situations. She later approaches my friend the dj and asks him what is up with me? (dunno what his reply was but im not worried about it). Right before she leaves that night she comes up and kisses me again.

So saturday comes along and i think we talked for a little bit but she was very tired and shit and i might of had to work, so she said she would call me sunday and go from there. She doesn't phone sunday, so i call her monday when i get off work and shes in tears and tells me that she wants to go home and that her mom said if she did she had no place to come home to. So im feeling really bad for her and i have to admit that home sickeness does suck so i told her i would taker her out to a movie that night. I go to pick her up from her aunts place and i hear her aunt telling her cousins that they have to go upstairs not to bug her or myself, and i said its alright they can meet me, so they did.

The tuesday she phones me while im at the bar dealing poker, and tells me that she went into a sumBathmateission grappling class at the gym she goes to (I got an instant hard on knowing that she likes mixed martial arts). and told her to call me later. the wednesday shes telling me she has all these bruises from the class and wants to show them to me, and that we should go out for dinner friday night before going to the bar. I said it would be ok if she was done her school work and to call me with the final plans. She phones me Friday saying shes got some friends that are going to come as well, I started shitting my pants cause i didn't feel like getting picked apart by a bunch of girls so i called my now single cousin to see if he wanted to come out for dinner, he said sure. As it turns out her friends couldn't make it for dinner so its her, my cousin and myself.

By the time we were done at the bar that night, she had everyone assuming/fooled that we were a couple. (I still havn't gotten a proper read on her)

Then the next night we wen't up to my cousins (neutral ground) to watch movies and she said she had a sore back so i started rubbing it while we were watching movies.

Suday comes along and she calls me from some noisey place and says she has something to tell me but can't hear me so she'll call back later. She then calls me monday to say shes going up to my cousins to use his hot tub and asked if i wanted to join. (wtf??) I said that i was already up there, visiting him. So we get into the hot tub and my cousins in his shower, and she comes over to me and says "I don't know if i am giving out the wrong signals but im not looking for a boyfriend." And i told her that was fine because my original concern was her schooling. So i drop her off after wards and head back to my cousins and the first thing he says is "did she talk to me???"

I said ya why and he goes "she wanted to get me to tell you that but i told her no that she had to do it herself, so it doesn't look like im trying to do anything with her behind your back." My cousin said he would never do anything with her and I trust him cause hes like an older brother to me.

So the week goes on and im kinda hurt cause no all my old co-workers at the bar are asking me about her and i can only say we're just friends even after the show she put on the previous weekend. And its baffled me how she went from all over me to nothing at the drop of a dime, but then the following friday she comes into the bar with my cousin and his friend. Now im really confused and i had just gotten off working 4 days at the hospital, so im not in a good mood to begin with and she thinks that I am angry with her. So she calls me the next day asking why i was an asshole and i told her I wasn't i was just not having the best of days, and then she questions me on why it seemed like everytime i looked at her i was angry and i had no answer to it so she hung up. Due to the actions of the previous night my friend the dj wanted to get things strait with her so he sent her an email, i guess she read it the sunday, and tried to phone me about it but i was at work at the hospital where cell phones are not permitted. Some one in my house heard my cell phone ring and picked it up clearing any message of a missed call. So i go upstairs after work reheat some taco, go onto the computer to check up on any new Penis Enlargement info and she comes on MSN saying "I don't appreciate you not answering you phone, and i don't appreciate the email the dj sent me!!" and im like WTF i worked at the hospital all day so i didn't have my phone on me and what email did the dj send to you.

So she forwards me the email and says I don't really want to talk to you any more bye.


And that is how this dilema got to be where it is at.

I don't know what to do and i finally got to the point where i don't really care, althought i still would like to see her get back to the position she was at before her parents sent her out here.

So i guess I still kinda have feelings for her but i think i would view them as feelings towards a sisters hot friend. where you wanna do something with them but you don't.

So i dunno what to do and that is where it stands, i have been in contact with her i think 3 times since the email, and i have been trying to figure out what i did to cause her to pull the 180 and a cant.

Any advice would be great.

And if your wondering im really quite a shy person and i do suffer from depression so that is why i didn't make a move anytime I really had the chance, that and im a couple years older then her so i don't want it to look like i was forcing anything to happen.

Thanks BcBoy.

*and on a side note i tried to put up an avatar but it won't let me can someone pm me with instructions for that as i couldn't find them anywhere.

Dud, go out on a meal somewhere with her and clear things up. I dono why but she kinda sounds like a disaster girl....

man she has given more mixed signals than you probably even let on. Most of us don't pick up on half of the signals women give not to mention the tests they give. She is not someone you want to mess around with in any capacity. Sounds like headgames to me and you're going to get hurt. She'll want to play the victim though. I'd just drop all contact with her as soon as possible. If she wants to sort things out and it sounds like she needs to clarify some things with you because you obviously have questions then you call her, but only if it is important just to clear the air with her to YOU. Then if this is the case yeah you make the move or call or whatever, but if it really is not that important to you then just forget about her. I'm tired of seeing us nice quiet guys work themselves over for one girl that they probably never had a chance to begin with or missed the boat all ready. Just move on. Meet someone else.

I must totaly agree with iwant8inches on this...

ya there were some things now that i read it over that i didn't add, that were other suddle hints that occured at other areas and during phone calls and shit so i'm not too sure, but i am also trying to leave out as much of her background from it as possable, I mean i could tell you everything i know about her, (take a couple pages) but i feel it is irrelavent as she has told me this stuff outta trust and even if things are sour/stale/rotten between the two of us im not a complete asshole (like she called me) so ya, that is where it stands.

And the funny thing is all she knows about me is that i have a sister, my mom is remarried, and what she knows of my cousin from being around him. nothing more, doesn't know my last name, where i live, home phone number. Its kinda wierd that she never wanted to know more about me, or asked any background questions.

it sounds like she is in a very confusing time...it's no wonder that it seemed from just reading what little you wrote about it all that I got a sort of "she's really a self absorbed person..." at least at the moment anyway. If she never showed the kind of interest to even ask of your last name she can't be seriously considering you for anything more than whatever has transpired between you.

Send her an emailgiving your side of the story, and then honestly telling her what kind of person you see her as (the good and bad). End it with agreeing that you don't want to talk to her anymore either if she is going to be that bitchy, and just leave it at that. Seriously don't follow up and don't respond to anything more she sends you after that (and I would give it a 97% chance that she absolutely will, because that kind of girl is like that), and don't answer your phone if she calls it. You'll notice she will keep trying for a while then let it go, then try again in months when you'd think a normal person would have forgotten. Trust me, it's the most powerful thing you can do to a girl like this, especially the ones that like drama, arguing, or acting the victim in any given situation. Only if you are not looking for anything else with this girl though, if nothing more she will have to listen to your point and won't be able to argue her way out of it, and it will drive her CRAZY!

Well, even the most thoughtful e-mails can be misunderstood, and it leaves a paper trail. I would tell you to do exactly what iw8 said. For some reason the bruise thing reeks, it almost sounds like she made up grappling class to cover for the bruises...I dunno, she just sounds sketchy as hell.

Do what iw8 said to satisfy your curiosity. Good luck, and if it's not too much trouble keep us informed.

iwant8inches said:

man she has given more mixed signals than you probably even let on. Most of us don't pick up on half of the signals women give not to mention the tests they give. She is not someone you want to mess around with in any capacity. Sounds like headgames to me and you're going to get hurt. She'll want to play the victim though. I'd just drop all contact with her as soon as possible. If she wants to sort things out and it sounds like she needs to clarify some things with you because you obviously have questions then you call her, but only if it is important just to clear the air with her to YOU. Then if this is the case yeah you make the move or call or whatever, but if it really is not that important to you then just forget about her. I'm tired of seeing us nice quiet guys work themselves over for one girl that they probably never had a chance to begin with or missed the boat all ready. Just move on. Meet someone else.

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I agree with IW8, if u dont want trouble, read her signals.
Have u ever wondered why she ended up in ur city/town?
Do you know the real reasons why she left her home?


You just barely know her and she is trying to create these miscommunication with your cousin...isnt that a red light ?
Why is she using your cousin as a courier?


Read the signals man ...

She may have had trouble before and she is trying to run away, maybe the psycho was not her bf but herself.

Have in mind that these type of gals always repeat the same pattern and are looking for someone to "victimize" and they love mind games,and make u suffer, so unless u want to be the next "victim" , better straight things off and let it go man ...in my humble opinion .


I wish u luck ..

yes i know why shes in town and to verify exactly how much i know about her i will now tell the facts I have left out and some new stuff my cousin has told me since she started hanging off of him.

The reason she is in town is because, last year she began seeing someone who was an obsessive drug user, and throught peer-pressure(or whatever) she began using the these substances as well and it cause her to go from a grade A student to a young person who evenutally overdoesed and nearly died (i have seen all the IV needle scars) At the time as well her boyfriend stole a blank check from her and cashed for the entire funds in her account, and then had her cash a fake check into her account for him for a sum of money.

When the check bounced and the funds that were supposedly deposited into her account were already withdrawn, real turmiol insued within her family. In trying to set their daughter strait or at least back on the path that she was originally on they sent her here to finish the courses she didn't from the overdose and to graduate.

The bruises that i mentioned from the suBathmateission grappling course are real i did see them and they are from the course because her aunt had them as well.

The reason she knows nothing about me is because like i said before I suffer from depression and am extremely shy, almost to a anti-social standpoint(even with family).
So i was more then happy listening to her and her problems because it take me away from mine.

Now as for new information, My cousin informed me yesterday that all last week she came over to his house for booty calls, and although it hurts me that he went through with it knowing how i felt bothers me but, I am also glad that if that was how she was going to be she did it with my cousin cause i know that its not like other bad shit was going to happen besides the booty calls (I know this stuff happens in town cause i heard all about it from victims when i bounced in a bar).
I guess he also told me that on the weekend (which i was mia cause of early work at the hospital till yesterday) that she for some reason flipped out and started screaming at him on the phone. I dunno may hes giving her a taste of what she did to me. but if for some reason another booty call does occure I will at least have photos for my own person enjoyment.

So I am still running through my head where I fucked up and i know that i should be at a stage where i should really just rip her a new asshole for using me that way, but for some reason i still would like to the be there to help her get back to the way she was, as well as since she flipped out on him it kinda puts me back in the running, cause she has messaged me a couple times when i havn't been home so i am not sure how i am going to play this one out all i know is now that she isn't calling me twice a day my phone bill is very reasonable.

man...don't even think about talking to her.

It's a mistake and it shows that you are bothered by what she did. She hooked up with your cousin? That tells me a lot. If you respect yourself you won't ever think to even utter her name again. She should be dead to you. Don't fucking treat yourself like that. You don't know this girl(unless you've known her for like years you don't know her), but you should know enough by now that anytime you interact with her nothing good will come of it. Respect yourself and start revolving around your own life not some whacked out girl with problems. Everyone has problems and you don't need her's on top of your own. This isn't a relative so stop attaching irrational emotions into this person. It's not going to be good for you to even say your mind about her fucking your cousin. Take it for what it's worth...a bunch of bullshit garbage...throw it out the window and never look back. You're better off and you'll be better off for just ignoring those messages. A girl that has interest in you then fucks your cousin shouldn't interest you unless you want to play games and use her body, which seems to be exactly what caused the kind of behavior she displays. I mean seriously even if you're shy and there might not be another soul that has caught your eye or that has shown interest in you...any time invested into her is going to fuck things up for you when someone new DOES come along. Again. Move on and work on yourself. Do you for now. No one deserves that kind of shit and involving yourself in any way being a shy guy you're bound to repeat the same mistakes.

Seriously, if you end up fucking this girl it won't end well. Look at the start of things for god's sake and it amounted to nothing for you except angst and confusion.

From everything I've read, I have only a few mature words of wisdom for you.

Imagine you are standing in front of her ... ok .. now turn 180 degress and run the fuck as fast and as long as you possibly can. Got it?

Do yourself a favor and heed these kind words of advice!!

Thank you guys for your input, and as it stands i really don't care what happens with her, but if i get a chance to hit that shit im gonna and im gonna document it for you guys right after it happens. And other then that I really don't give a fuck what happens with her cause come January she goes back to where she came from. And all that will be left are the pics to say "I FUCKED YOU HARD"

So...your the guy with the personal ad that reads:
Shy guy, with camera...

j/k

bcboy said:

Thank you guys for your input, and as it stands i really don't care what happens with her, but if i get a chance to hit that shit im gonna and im gonna document it for you guys right after it happens. And other then that I really don't give a fuck what happens with her cause come January she goes back to where she came from. And all that will be left are the pics to say "I FUCKED YOU HARD"

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Good choice. Just make sure you put up a VERy strong emotional wall when you are fucking her, no matter what she says. It sounds like you were investing emotion in her for no reason so sex might be risky depending on what kind of guy you are (emotionally), but yeah give her the time of her life and kick her to the curb dude!

BC, what went wrong is she was looking for some dick, and you did not go for it and kept on delaying for higher moral ground, while your cousing stepped up to the plate and gave her what she wanted, when she wanted it.

Girls can be strange??????? Get some before she goes and have fun!!

you know what oz i don't have a fucking clue but she hinted a couple times that she was craving sex but it would always be on the computer never in person, and being that i wasn't trying to be the stereotypical (give me sex now)type of guy, when we were around i never brought up sex or anything like it. I would let her enetiate those conversations just cause being new in town and all i mean she would be pretty easy to scare off.

OzStretch said:

BC, what went wrong is she was looking for some dick, and you did not go for it and kept on delaying for higher moral ground, while your cousing stepped up to the plate and gave her what she wanted, when she wanted it.

Girls can be strange??????? Get some before she goes and have fun!!

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This is right on. She was looking for some cock and no strings whatsoever. She even told him and the second she told him she'd already tossed him out of the running for that ass. But really...don't fuck this girl. She sounds unstable in more than just her current situation with school and where she lives...

If it were me I wouldn't care if she fucked my cousin so much as I would if she and I were fucking already. There was nothing there between you at least not sexually so getting mad and using her body is not something I'd reccomend. It sounds like you are mad at her, but it's probably the frustration that you had an interest in her and she fucked someone else. Now you want to get some sort of revenge out of it. That can get you in trouble down the road especially with unstable women particularly unstable women just looking to bone.

Yea, psycho woman have a funny way of showing up later out of the blue, and can force you into an awkward situation.

yup they sure can.

and when they do usually it does no good to try to ignore them or run away even. I would think the only thing that could come of this situation sadly is accidental pregnancy or she fucks with his head and ends up controlling his emotions somehow every now and then if she ever visits that town again. This is not even a fuck buddy kind of girl either in my opinion. Of course I don't know her, but that might make it even worse that I have that feeling.