Need Help Brothers: Just Got Triggered into A Depression By A Forum Member

[ADF]

On second thought, I don't need this thread!

 

[8incyclops]

Haha good people can say what they want online just leave it at that

 

[ADF]

 

[DLD]

It could be a product of the depression that you decided not to disclose, what happened?

 

[ADF]

It could be a product of the depression that you decided not to disclose, what happened?

No, actually I smoked some good bud to relax after what happened, and forgot what I was going to say. Lol

 

[DLD]

No, actually I smoked some good bud to relax after what happened, and forgot what I was going to say. Lol

Bravo! The best way to avoid depression is to avoid it by doing something to take your mind off it. For me it has been working and watching Netflix, once my head is into something else the depression fades. It is when I sit around and think on it that it takes control. In my case there is no avoiding the oncoming of depression, it comes on time every year and I can only avoid it until the switch goes off and I feel better. I never can put my finger on why I get depressed or why it lasts so long but I do know in my heart it will go away eventually. For me it is extremely seasonal, in the summer months I am deep in depression but once fall arrive it goes away and is replaces by a hypo-manic state that can last about 3 months until it becomes full out mania. This is what I have dealt with for more than 20 years now and I have tried everything to avoid it. Now they want me to take Prozac which I am totally against, I try to explain to the doctors that it has nothing to do with medication and everything to do with time of year but they still want to push the meds on me. I am determined to break this depression on my own.

 

[ADF]

Bravo! The best way to avoid depression is to avoid it by doing something to take your mind off it. For me it has been working and watching Netflix, once my head is into something else the depression fades. It is when I sit around and think on it that it takes control.

I go to my brothers house after morning PE, and help him work in his garden and that seems to help a lot. He has all kinds of veggies growing and is very picky about how to do it, so I have to pay a lot of attention to details and that takes my mind off any depressive I'm feeling.

In my case there is no avoiding the oncoming of depression, it comes on time every year and I can only avoid it until the switch goes off and I feel better. I never can put my finger on why I get depressed or why it lasts so long but I do know in my heart it will go away eventually. For me it is extremely seasonal, in the summer months I am deep in depression but once fall arrive it goes away and is replaces by a hypo-manic state that can last about 3 months until it becomes full out mania. This is what I have dealt with for more than 20 years now and I have tried everything to avoid it.

Sorry to hear that you have had to deal with this for 20 years. I was above baseline and slightly manic for most of my life until 2009 when I went into a depression cycle and have been there ever since. But I take EFFEXOR XR to keep me closer to baseline, otherwise I would be so depressed that PE would be out of the question. California has hot summer weather too, so right now I am to hot to be that depressed!

Now they want me to take Prozac which I am totally against, I try to explain to the doctors that it has nothing to do with medication and everything to do with time of year but they still want to push the meds on me. I am determined to break this depression on my own.

I took Prozac for years but it never really helped a hard depression the way effexor xr does, at least in my case it does. It's good that you don't want to take Prozac since in your case it most likely wouldn't help that much. Sounds to me like you are caught in a rapid cycling loop so keep talking about cycles and rapid cycling and see if they catch on, but often doctors just want to push their meds for profit and not see the real problem. I am impressed with your determination to break the depression on your own. I know you will do it since that kind of determination created and built MoS........not to mention, Batman too!!!!

 

[DLD]

I go to my brothers house after morning PE, and help him work in his garden and that seems to help a lot. He has all kinds of veggies growing and is very picky about how to do it, so I have to pay a lot of attention to details and that takes my mind off any depressive I'm feeling.

Sorry to hear that you have had to deal with this for 20 years. I was above baseline and slightly manic for most of my life until 2009 when I went into a depression cycle and have been there ever since. But I take EFFEXOR XR to keep me closer to baseline, otherwise I would be so depressed that PE would be out of the question. California has hot summer weather too, so right now I am to hot to be that depressed!


I took Prozac for years but it never really helped a hard depression the way effexor xr does, at least in my case it does. It's good that you don't want to take Prozac since in your case it most likely wouldn't help that much. Sounds to me like you are caught in a rapid cycling loop so keep talking about cycles and rapid cycling and see if they catch on, but often doctors just want to push their meds for profit and not see the real problem. I am impressed with your determination to break the depression on your own. I know you will do it since that kind of determination created and built MoS........not to mention, Batman too!!!!

Thanks ADF. You are right, getting out of the cycle and doing new things really works. Keeping my schedule full of positive things also helps with the slow time feeling depression brings. The thing is I know the depression will break eventually, it is the waiting that kills me. I have been in this cycle since April, some days are better than others. Last night is the first night in the 3 months I was not completely depressed, it felt as though it was lifted a bit so I am attaching myself to that and hopes that better days are coming. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep on keeping on until I am better.

 

[ADF]

Thanks ADF. You are right, getting out of the cycle and doing new things really works. Keeping my schedule full of positive things also helps with the slow time feeling depression brings. The thing is I know the depression will break eventually, it is the waiting that kills me. I have been in this cycle since April, some days are better than others. Last night is the first night in the 3 months I was not completely depressed, it felt as though it was lifted a bit so I am attaching myself to that and hopes that better days are coming. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep on keeping on until I am better.

Three months of depression without relief can seem like an eternity in hell. You hide it very well on the forum.
It's great that last night it lifted a bit, thats a good sign. Putting you on the top of my prayer list as a sticky. Sending blessings and good vibes to you Brother DLD.

 

[DLD]

Three months of depression without relief can seem like an eternity in hell. You hide it very well on the forum.
It's great that last night it lifted a bit, thats a good sign. Putting you on the top of my prayer list as a sticky. Sending blessings and good vibes to you Brother DLD.

Thank you so much for your prayers! I feel OK today too and trying to ride that feeling. I realize that I have to take the small things that feel good and really let myself feel this. I wish my cycles were not so long but it is definitely a good sign to have less depression for 2 days straight now. I pray to God to lift this so I can be here for you and my family and I believe God is hearing me. Having the Brothers pray for me is even greater! Thank you so much.

 

[ADF]

Thank you so much for your prayers! I feel OK today too and trying to ride that feeling. I realize that I have to take the small things that feel good and really let myself feel this. I wish my cycles were not so long but it is definitely a good sign to have less depression for 2 days straight now. I pray to God to lift this so I can be here for you and my family and I believe God is hearing me. Having the Brothers pray for me is even greater! Thank you so much.

Two days in a row of feeling better is great news Brother DLD. I do believe in the power of prayer and it does change things. I got my wife praying for you too and she can be a prayer warrior for the right cause. She knows your bipolar like me so we're on it.

 

[DLD]

Two days in a row of feeling better is great news Brother DLD. I do believe in the power of prayer and it does change things. I got my wife praying for you too and she can be a prayer warrior for the right cause. She knows your bipolar like me so we're on it.

Thank you! Today I feel decent, but no where close to good. I know there are bad days before the good and I need to remain in God's good graces and show as much appreciation for the good in my life as possible. I also know that when things do not feel good I need to accept that and sit with it and realize it will not kill me, and this is where I gain strength. Your prayers are so appreciated, just knowing one of my Brothers cares enough to pray for me gives me so much inspiration to reach for the happier things in life.

 

[ADF]

Your prayers are so appreciated, just knowing one of my Brothers cares enough to pray for me gives me so much inspiration to reach for the happier things in life.

I am very glad that you appreciate my prayers. I do care enough to pray for you, but I also have a deeper kind of caring, which is between two Brothers going through the same kind of bipolar depression experiences, and then sharing them to try and help each other out. That helps to create a closer bond between Brothers like us even though we have never met in person.
Believing in God and praying for someone is a positive and healthy thing to do and I think is a great way to live ones life. So consider yourself always on my prayer list and part of my morning routine.

 

[DLD]

I am very glad that you appreciate my prayers. I do care enough to pray for you, but I also have a deeper kind of caring, which is between two Brothers going through the same kind of bipolar depression experiences, and then sharing them to try and help each other out. That helps to create a closer bond between Brothers like us even though we have never met in person.
Believing in God and praying for someone is a positive and healthy thing to do and I think is a great way to live ones life. So consider yourself always on my prayer list and part of my morning routine.

And you too are in my prayers, all your help is so appreciated! It is hard to admit this stuff being the leader here of the Brotherhood, I think that most men expect me to be in control and in a good state of mind but this disease does not discriminate, it just happens with the role of the dice. Pray for the Spirit to fill me with joy so I can do what I do best, help others.

 

[ADF]

And you too are in my prayers, all your help is so appreciated! It is hard to admit this stuff being the leader here of the Brotherhood, I think that most men expect me to be in control and in a good state of mind but this disease does not discriminate, it just happens with the role of the dice. Pray for the Spirit to fill me with joy so I can do what I do best, help others.

Thank you for your prayers for me too Brother. I am praying that the Spirit does indeed fill you with joy and energy to keep you going on here so you can help others. You must already have some of that Spirit inside of you to keep your depression hidden so well on the Forums. If it was me, I would have banned half the forum members by now from out of control mood swings lol. But you come across as stable in your moods. Doing it that way must be hard on you and shows that you truly do love all the brothers here.

 

[DLD]

Thank you for your prayers for me too Brother. I am praying that the Spirit does indeed fill you with joy and energy to keep you going on here so you can help others. You must already have some of that Spirit inside of you to keep your depression hidden so well on the Forums. If it was me, I would have banned half the forum members by now from out of control mood swings lol. But you come across as stable in your moods. Doing it that way must be hard on you and shows that you truly do love all the brothers here.

After so many years of going through this I have learned that the most important thing is that I keep working no matter what. I remember my Father saying that once a man stops working he stops living. I keep those words close to my heart and know that the Brotherhood is my biggest help in my darkest times. Even though you did not need this thread I did and I am happy you made the post!

 

[ADF]

After so many years of going through this I have learned that the most important thing is that I keep working no matter what. I remember my Father saying that once a man stops working he stops living. I keep those words close to my heart and know that the Brotherhood is my biggest help in my darkest times. Even though you did not need this thread I did and I am happy you made the post!

Then I too am glad I made that first post and it is helping you so much as a thread. It is also helping me learn new things about bipolar as well as contribute with my own experiences with bipolarity. Continuing to pray for you twice a day Brother DLD.

 

[DLD]

Then I too am glad I made that first post and it is helping you so much as a thread. It is also helping me learn new things about bipolar as well as contribute with my own experiences with bipolarity. Continuing to pray for you twice a day Brother DLD.

I am starting to have some clarity on how every year I go through the same cycle, I wish I kept better records but I am starting to remember that the Summer brings depression and when the weather starts to cool hypo-mania starts to set in. This came to mind yesterday when the sun let up for a while and it was semi-cool out, it felt like something was lifted from me but as soon as the heat came back the depression sort of spiked again. After all these years I wish I had a good History to look back on, this year I am keeping a very close eye on the changes. I hope that once September rolls in I am feeling 100% again. I miss the joy and happiness so much, I can't wait to be here 100% again.

 

[ADF]

I am starting to have some clarity on how every year I go through the same cycle, I wish I kept better records but I am starting to remember that the Summer brings depression and when the weather starts to cool hypo-mania starts to set in. This came to mind yesterday when the sun let up for a while and it was semi-cool out, it felt like something was lifted from me but as soon as the heat came back the depression sort of spiked again. After all these years I wish I had a good History to look back on, this year I am keeping a very close eye on the changes. I hope that once September rolls in I am feeling 100% again. I miss the joy and happiness so much, I can't wait to be here 100% again.

It is very interesting that you get depressed when the sun is out, but get less depressed and feel better when the sun goes away again. For normal non-bipolar' it is just the opposite. I used to use MOOD TRACKER FOR BIPOLAR site but haven't been there in a while. It lets you chart and keep track of your daily moods so you have a permanent record of your mood swings and even med history if you use any. Check out the site Brother DLD and it even has a forum for members to discuss their bipolarity and moods and get and receive advice. I think if you google moodtracker.com it will give you the option for a registration link.

 

[DLD]

It is very interesting that you get depressed when the sun is out, but get less depressed and feel better when the sun goes away again. For normal non-bipolar' it is just the opposite. I used to use MOOD TRACKER FOR BIPOLAR site but haven't been there in a while. It lets you chart and keep track of your daily moods so you have a permanent record of your mood swings and even med history if you use any. Check out the site Brother DLD and it even has a forum for members to discuss their bipolarity and moods and get and receive advice. I think if you google moodtracker.com it will give you the option for a registration link.

I will definitely check that out. I understand that SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is mostly the opposite of the way my cycles run but it is true,the switch clicks once the cold comes. I don't think it is a sun thing more than a heat thing. It is almost like some people like cold therapy in comparison to heat therapy. I absolutely love the sun but like clockwork, when the summer comes my house becomes dark and I sort of hibernate as much as possible. Once the cool weather arrives the feeling of depression in lifted and I get the relief of maybe 2 months of hypo-mania. This can be traced by my posting styles during this time. I put more credit in this lately as when it does get a little more cool I start to feel more hopeful. Shit, I have even considered moving to Alaska so I could avoid the depression.

Depression is so hard to deal with because no matter how many times I go through it I still get that shitty thought that it may be here forever this time. But, as I said, there is a definite history that follows May, June, July and August I am in a deep depression, September, October, November and December I am Hypo-Manic and January, February, March and April I struggle with Mania. It has been about 10 years in this cycle and the worst part is when I need to get medical attention to deal with it. I have never gone to the hospital for depression, always at the midpoint of Mania. This is a very tricky disorder and can really work to fool me especially during mania. Going from hypo to full blown mania is always a mind fuck where I think I am still productive but all those around me see me falling apart...very frustrating and it leads to having very little friends and a very small social life. Thank God for the Brotherhood because without this purposeful work I do I do not think I would make it.

My therapist has asked me if I wanted to try to go to the Hospital during this depression to maybe get a different perspective on medication and cognitive work. Since I have never had that happen I am considering it. She said they could also do neurological testing during the visit to try to get more information on my cycles. As I stated above you can see I have very weird cycles, long and with no ups and downs. She says this is very rare as most people cycle daily, weekly and in rare cases monthly but in my case where it takes months for changes she said there could be more to the picture. I am really thinking deeply on it and I will consider it. The nice thing now is the Hospital allows for computer use so I will be able to work when away. I don't want this to become a crutch but at the same time if I can find out more about myself and maybe fix some of these issues it may be a smart move.

I appreciate all you time and efforts to help me and your prayers, every mass I pray for you too and thank you through Jesus that you are in my corner. It amazes me that I have been able to maintain the Brotherhood as I have with these issues...God is good.