My breakup with my Girlfriend

Last weekend me and my Girlfriend of 4 years brokeup. The time was comming. I'm the one who said yes we are through. I've been tring to make it work for a year now. But its all bullshit now. 4+ years wasted on a woman who could never be my bride, simply because her ambition is low and her pride is too high. She was holding me back from some of the things I wanted to do in life. Goals I wanted, conversations I wanted, experiences I wanted to share. I needed to grow with her, but she showed no sign of growth, I wanted to bring her on my journey of self improvement, but she would not try to understand where I was coming from, she would take offense to every suggestion I would make to her about improving her life. Like I was trying to diss her, but I was trying to help her. She was too busy gossiping, and doing her best to still be a teenager when she is 29 years old and has a beautiful son who is 7 years old.

All the drama, fistfights, arguments, 35 missed phone calls in 5 hours or dealing with a Split Personality disorder from her childhood is all over. I did my best to try to understand and help, but I can't no longer. A physically beautiful woman she is, maybe I was blinded by that, using wishful thinking in thinking I could pull her away from her negative past, and present negativity. She is always pulling out the victim card evertime I try to use my knowledge to help her out. I've been throught tough roads, and am still on them. Hell I was in prison for 3 years from 97 to 2000, for ignorat shit I did as a spoiled ass 18 to 20 year old. I just try to bring my experience to our relationship about tough times, I might as well have been talking to Oscar the Grouch, shit it sure felt like it.

What took so long? I was scared of what she might do to me, or my belongings. I have a 2001 Chevy Pickup that I worked so hard to get, and she threatend to smash it on several occasions. I also woke up one day with her smaking me with an ironing board while I was asleep, in my face. She loves drama, I could hit her in the face with my fist and the next day she would try to suck the hell out of my dick to make up. It was cool at first because I saw thought that she really loved me. I could take the physical punisHydromaxent no problem, I was a really good skateboarder back in the day, so pain was nothing.

Finally I realized that I need to futher my growth, I need to begin all over again. I have made plently of costly finacial mistakes sine I left prison. It still haunts me today. 600 Dollars a month is taken out of my paycheck ona garnisHydromaxent. I would be homeless if my mother did not let me come to her house because I was evicted from my apartment a year ago. Today my mother is on a job interview in Cleveland. If she gets the job, I'm not moving to Ohio, its too long of a winter. And I'm not going to stay in St. Louis. The problem with St. Louis is everybody is not open to new people in there life, sure they are friendly, but when you want to make a new friend forget about it. I blame it on all the dirty MF'ers in this city. RANT RANT RANT.

Fuck it I need to get my head on straight and focus on my goals, I do have a job that makes a liveable wage, that is positive, but I cannot see myself there another 3 years. I got plans that I need to execute, no if ands or buts about it. Reason why I can't wait for Alpha Blade, I know this will help!

I had to spill my guts somewhere! Why not here with all of my friends that share so much in common! Thanks all, especially DLD!

My ex girlfriend was similar in a way to yours. Whenever I talked about personal improvement, she took offense if I said something about her. I stil have some feelings for her, but I'm with someone much better now. Don't have a doubt that there are better girls out there.

You are a great guy, and it sounds like this will be for the better. Good luck, and have strenght. You will come out stronger, I can already see that.

'I needed to grow with her, but she showed no sign of growth, I wanted to bring her on my journey of self improvement, but she would not try to understand where I was coming from, she would take offense to every suggestion I would make to her about improving her life. Like I was trying to diss her, but I was trying to help her.' - crazyed

I know exactly what you mean. I have the same thing on a daily basis with my family and friends.

Good luck with the future. You sound like the kind of person that can make it happen.

Chi said:

but I'm with someone much better now. .

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That is exactly what I'm going to experience too!

Chi said:

You are a great guy, and it sounds like this will be for the better. Good luck, and have strenght. You will come out stronger, I can already see that.

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Thanks for the kind words!

TomdW said:

Good luck with the future. You sound like the kind of person that can make it happen.

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Thanks for the encouragement!

I'm sure the immediate emotions you're feeling suck, especially since you wanted things that would have helped her develop personally and strengthen your relationship. But if you're just simply not going to get on the same page, then it's for the best.

You've walked away from three years in the joint to a decent job, a nice vehicle, etc. A lot of people would have simply fucked up again, rather than take your path. Sounds like you've come some way thus far. Keep at it!

sorry to hear its over

Crazey, I gotta say man you have seemed like a cool guy from the first time I've corresponded with you on these forums. I went through a similar situation over a year ago when I finally said enough with the last ex g/f. I'd lived with her for 2 years off and on. It was an emotionally/verbally and sometimes physically abusive relationship. I never hit her once. I just reached a point where the light came on you could say, I realized I deserved a hell of a lot better than what I was putting up with. I left her ass the only way I knew how...some might say like a coward. I packed my shit early one morning when she was asleep and left, and didnt look back. That was the only way I could leave. The personallity she had, was very irrational, illogical, and abusive when she was upset. I'd tried leaving before only to have her throwing my shit out in her yard screaming at me, hitting me, and blocking the door with herself telling me to hit her or force her out of the way so she'd have a reason to call the police. It was a really f'd up situation.

There really does just come a time sometimes where you need to move on however you see fit for yourself. We all deserve the best, and dont deserve to settle for anything less than what we want.

Since that relationship, I've moved on big time. I'm busting my ass on two jobs to get ahead for a change, where I want to be in life. I've got money in the bank, a place of my own, bills are no worry. Most importantly women come second in my life now. Sure, almost every other waking thought is about pussy, ...I'm a man damnit, LOL...but I dont settle for the the tramps I used to. Keep your eyes on the road ahead and you'll get what you want.

I could really relate that relationship with her to this song by Eminem "I Love You More"


The more you, put me through,
The more it makes me wanna come back to you,
You say you hate me, I just love you more,
You don't want me, I just want you more,
I buy you flowers, you throw 'em at me,
I know it's sad but it's makin me happy,
The more that you slap me, the more that it turns me on,
Cuz you love me, and I love you more.

[Verse 1]
It's sick, but who could ever predict,
We'd be doin' the same shit,
We say we do it for our baby but we don't,
We do it for us, it's lust,
Cuz neither one of us trusts each other,
So we fuck 'til we bust,
Then we cuss each other, out,
We know what it's about,
Shout 'til I throw you out the house,
You throw me out the house,
I throw you on the couch,
Punch you in the mouth,
Fist fight 'til we turn this mother OUT,
And apologize after,
Laughter, pain, it's insane,
We're back in the same chapter again,
And it's sad but it's true,
When I'm layin' here with you,
There ain't nothin' anyone could ever say ever do.

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Cuz I hate you, do you hate me?
Good cuz you're so fuckin' beautiful when you're angry,
It makes me wanna just take you,
And just throw you on the bed,
And fuck you like I don't even know you,
You fuck other people, and I fuck other people,
You a slut but I'm equal, I'm a mutt,
We're both evil in our ways,
But neither one of us would ever admit it,
Cuz one of us would have one up on the other,
So forget it,
We can make accusations, people spread rumors,
But they ain't got proof,
'Til they do it's just the two of us,
It's you and me, cuz any chick can say that she's screwin' me,
But you gotta believe me to a degree,
Cuz if you didn't I wouldn't be hittin' it,
Yeah I would cuz the sex is too damn good,
If I ran who would I run to,
That would be this soft and warm,
So it's off and on, usually more off than on,
But at least we know that we share this common bond,
You're the only one I can fuck without a condom on,
I hope, the only reason that I cope,
Is cuz of that fact,
And plus I can bust in that,
And that's why...

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
I could never understand it,
That's why I don't try,
From junior high until we both die,
It's sili ho why must we try,
Is it really so rough,
That we must always call each other's billy goat's gruff,
Try to pull each other's legs,
Until the other begs,
We're liein' to ourselves,
That's the beauty of it yeah,
Cuz we truly love each other,
That's why we always fight,
And all we do is shove each other,
Every other fuckin' night,
And it's clear it ain't gonna change,
It's pent up rage,
We both have,
We both feel like we've been upstaged by someone else,
We've both been,
Someone else's someone else,
Problem is neither one wants help,
It's an addiction and it can't be fixed,
Our family's mixed up,
There's a baby sister in the mix,
And it hurts cuz the pieces to the puzzle don't fit,
And anybody who thinks they know us doesn't know shit,
And they're probably just tired of hearin' it all the time,
On every song, every lyric, and every rhyme,
All the hoopla, all of the whoopdy whoop,
What you put me through, fuckin' whoopdy doo,
But I won't be made a fool of,
If this is true love,
You wouldn't do what,
You did last time,
You wouldn't screw up,
This time,
Cuz this time girl,
I'm tellin you what,
You do it again I'm fuckin you up,
No matter what...

[Bridge]
What you say, what you do,
I'ma hunt you down 'til I find you,
No matter where you run, I'll be right there,
Right behind you, in your nightmares,
All the flowers, and the candy,
All the times that you threw it back at me,
You say you hate me, you gon' hate me more,
When you find out, can't escape me whore.

stillwantmore said:

Crazey, I gotta say man you have seemed like a cool guy from the first time I've corresponded with you on these forums. I went through a similar situation over a year ago when I finally said enough with the last ex g/f. I'd lived with her for 2 years off and on. It was an emotionally/verbally and sometimes physically abusive relationship. I never hit her once. I just reached a point where the light came on you could say, I realized I deserved a hell of a lot better than what I was putting up with. I left her ass the only way I knew how...some might say like a coward. I packed my shit early one morning when she was asleep and left, and didnt look back. That was the only way I could leave. The personallity she had, was very irrational, illogical, and abusive when she was upset. I'd tried leaving before only to have her throwing my shit out in her yard screaming at me, hitting me, and blocking the door with herself telling me to hit her or force her out of the way so she'd have a reason to call the police. It was a really f'd up situation.

There really does just come a time sometimes where you need to move on however you see fit for yourself. We all deserve the best, and dont deserve to settle for anything less than what we want.

Since that relationship, I've moved on big time. I'm busting my ass on two jobs to get ahead for a change, where I want to be in life. I've got money in the bank, a place of my own, bills are no worry. Most importantly women come second in my life now. Sure, almost every other waking thought is about pussy, ...I'm a man damnit, LOL...but I dont settle for the the tramps I used to. Keep your eyes on the road ahead and you'll get what you want.

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Thanks SWM, you just reminded me about how bad it was, and that I do deserve to be treated better! I even tried to have her breakup with me by not calling, hanging out with my boys, and all other types of stuff that pisses women off. But it never worked, she would just yell at me then want to fuck, and stupid me I'd hit it. Then I was back to square one!

The biggest problem here is that me and her work at the same place. Right now I'm on 3rd shift, and she is on 1st. But in a few weeks I'm going to be put back on 1st shift, then I might experience problems again. Even though we don't work in the same building, I have to do inventory on the componets on the production line that she wors on. So I'm going have to do my job. Hopefully she is cool about everything by then.

I remember the first time we corresponded I was PMing you about the Thera-p wrap. You were cool to me! Even though I was asking questions that I'm sure you had answered in a thread about it!

Hang in there Ed. We all go through some very tough shit in our lives, it's all part of the growth process. We can come out of it a much better person if we choose to view it as the opportunity it is.

Much better times are coming in 2006 than you would ever believe in your wildest dreams. The world is about to change in very positive ways for people that truly believe life is about opportunity.
Remember what I just said and keep it in the back of your mind because the coming year will challenge most peoples belief system and everything they base their lives on. but.... it will bring opportunity like nothing anyone on this planet has ever seen before and it will be GOOD, VERY GOOD.

Dan

GL to you Crazyed. Things will work out for you.