I might be getting laid today

Painful Pleasur · Dec 30, 2006

I can't believe it's been so long since I got laid, it seems like all the chicks I nailed happened all at the same time and then just died down.

Anyway, I'm a bit rusty at seduction I guess and there is this girl I met. I went to school with her but I never talked to her or anything. I found her on myspace, her sister used to hit on me all the time. We've been talked for like idk 3 days maybe. I was talking to her about shit, i think she might like me, when I asked her what she thought about me she said "you're datable but I can't tell you if you're fuckable because I'm too much of a tease." We talked a little bit about sex, she doesn't like anal, which sucks and she's not a virgin.

We talked for a little bit and then I decided to ask her if she wanted to hangout tomorrow, which would be today Saturday now. It's not really a date, I'm not sure what she thinks but it's just gonna be the two of us. We are gonna go play some pool because she says she likes it and she's really good. (just so you know we live in the middle of nowhere so there's nothing to do) So we decided that, we'd play some pool and then come back to my place and hangout. I told her i'd show her how to play and she's like "no i'll show u, i've been playing for 4 years" but anyway, it's gonna be the 2 of us alone.

I figure, we play pool, go back to my place, I play some amazing guitar licks to impress her, I put down my ax, sit down next to her and let her play if she wants. Then when she's done playing, I'll kiss her and make out with her, hopefully she wont say stop or no. I'll lay on top of her, make out for a while, bite her and all that shit, then start rubbing on her pussy, she'll probably be wearing jeans, i wish she would wear a skirt. i'll rub her for a while, then work my hands under the pants and finger her while i kiss her. then work my way up under the shirt, rub her tits, then suck on them. then i'll work my way down to unzipping her pants and kissing her crotch area until i get the pants wedged down enough to start eating her out. I'll eat her out for a while, then take her pants off and eat her some more. then i'll get her to suck my dick for a bit, then go back to eating her out, slip on a condom while i'm eating her out and then put it in her when she doesn't expect and go to town on her.

hopefully, she wont say no or stop during this whole thing, so far they never have said stop or no. This is our first time hanging out, so i'm really pushing my luck here. i think i can pull it off. she loves to drink she says, but i only have like 2 beers in the fridge to give her.

Need2more · Dec 30, 2006

At first I thought you climbed up a chicken's arse, and just waiting for the drop.

prince Albert · Dec 30, 2006

Painful Pleasur said:
I figure, we play pool, go back to my place, I play some amazing guitar licks to impress her, I put down my ax, sit down next to her and let her play if she wants. Then when she's done playing, I'll kiss her and make out with her, hopefully she wont say stop or no. I'll lay on top of her, make out for a while, bite her and all that shit, then start rubbing on her pussy, she'll probably be wearing jeans, i wish she would wear a skirt. i'll rub her for a while, then work my hands under the pants and finger her while i kiss her. then work my way up under the shirt, rub her tits, then suck on them. then i'll work my way down to unzipping her pants and kissing her crotch area until i get the pants wedged down enough to start eating her out. I'll eat her out for a while, then take her pants off and eat her some more. then i'll get her to suck my dick for a bit, then go back to eating her out, slip on a condom while i'm eating her out and then put it in her when she doesn't expect and go to town on her.

QUOTE]

Pre planning what you are going to do never works,just go with the flow.

Painful Pleasur · Dec 30, 2006

Need2more said:
At first I thought you climbed up a chicken's arse, and just waiting for the drop.

lol. i didn't get that at first.

Threak · Dec 30, 2006

Painful Pleasur to definitely get laid tonight you should be totally honest with her and tell her the following things about yourself.

You are a chronic masturbator.
You are Bi-Sexual and love licking on guys nutsacks.
You still have wet dreams at 20 years old about your Mother.
You would fuck your sister or your cousin if you weren't an only child.
You like to fuck boys/girls under the age of consent.
You wonder why your Father's penis is bigger than yours.
You like looking at your Uncles, cousins, and neighbors penis.
You would like to do a self-circumcision.
You are sexually built like a nine year old boy.
You wish you had a 13x8 inch penis to club every girl you're angry with.
You dabble in P.E.
You like spending your free time spelunking
You are gonna wear a skirt (to feel pretty) if she wears jeans.

Then after all that simply ask her if she wants to go back to your place and have sex with you.

Because every guy knows a women loves a real man who is honest about themselves. I know it works for me, but I don't have those Sick & Twisted issues that you have.

Painful Pleasur · Dec 30, 2006

do you think she's willing?

i remmeber she said "try not to get too attached" do you think that's her way of saying "i'll fuck you but i want anything serious"

Painful Pleasur · Dec 30, 2006

Threak said:
Painful Pleasur to definitely get laid tonight you should be totally honest with her and tell her the following things about yourself.

You are a chronic masturbator.

You are Bi-Sexual and love licking on guys nutsacks.

You still have wet dreams at 20 years old about your Mother.

You would fuck your sister or your cousin if you weren't an only child.

You like to fuck boys/girls under the age of consent.

You wonder why your Father's penis is bigger than yours.

You like looking at your Uncles, cousins, and neighbors penis.

You would like to do a self-circumcision.

You are sexually built like a nine year old boy.

You wish you had a 13x8 inch penis to club every girl you're angry with.

You dabble in P.E.

You like spending your free time spelunking

You are gonna wear a skirt (to feel pretty) if she wears jeans.

Then after all that simply ask her if she wants to go back to your place and have sex with you.

Because every guy knows a women loves a real man who is honest about themselves. I know it works for me, but I don't have those Sick & Twisted issues that you have.

have fun being banned.

Threak · Dec 30, 2006

Painful Pleasur said:
have fun being banned.

Okay maybe the part about you wearing a dress is untrue... Hydromaxmm
It's your Mother's freshly cum soiled panties you like to wear ... sorry<

My BAD
You have to admit it's not untrue about all those things on the list, you stated them yourself

Threak · Dec 30, 2006

Painful Pleasur said:
do you think she's willing?

i remmeber she said "try not to get too attached" do you think that's her way of saying "i'll fuck you but i want anything serious"

She saying don't try with her ... she rather fuck someone else because she said, "you're datable but I can't tell you if you're fuckable because you're too much of a tease."
You're like a little kid mentally

mulkku · Dec 30, 2006

Threak said:
Painful Pleasur to definitely get laid tonight you should be totally honest with her and tell her the following things about yourself.

You are a chronic masturbator.

You are Bi-Sexual and love licking on guys nutsacks.

You still have wet dreams at 20 years old about your Mother.

You would fuck your sister or your cousin if you weren't an only child.

You like to fuck boys/girls under the age of consent.

You wonder why your Father's penis is bigger than yours.

You like looking at your Uncles, cousins, and neighbors penis.

You would like to do a self-circumcision.

You are sexually built like a nine year old boy.

You wish you had a 13x8 inch penis to club every girl you're angry with.

You dabble in P.E.

You like spending your free time spelunking

You are gonna wear a skirt (to feel pretty) if she wears jeans.

Then after all that simply ask her if she wants to go back to your place and have sex with you.

Because every guy knows a women loves a real man who is honest about themselves. I know it works for me, but I don't have those Sick & Twisted issues that you have.

Full Score. 100 %

More Meat · Dec 30, 2006

Threak said:
Painful Pleasur to definitely get laid tonight you should be totally honest with her and tell her the following things about yourself.

You are a chronic masturbator.

You are Bi-Sexual and love licking on guys nutsacks.

You still have wet dreams at 20 years old about your Mother.

You would fuck your sister or your cousin if you weren't an only child.

You like to fuck boys/girls under the age of consent.

You wonder why your Father's penis is bigger than yours.

You like looking at your Uncles, cousins, and neighbors penis.

You would like to do a self-circumcision.

You are sexually built like a nine year old boy.

You wish you had a 13x8 inch penis to club every girl you're angry with.

You dabble in P.E.

You like spending your free time spelunking

You are gonna wear a skirt (to feel pretty) if she wears jeans.

Then after all that simply ask her if she wants to go back to your place and have sex with you.

Because every guy knows a women loves a real man who is honest about themselves. I know it works for me, but I don't have those Sick & Twisted issues that you have.

Wow.. thats hilarious because everything on that list is true! Everything on that list painful has actually said in a thread on here...

Threak said:
Painful PleasurI figure, we play pool, go back to my place, I play some amazing guitar licks to impress her, I put down my ax, sit down next to her and let her play if she wants. Then when she's done playing, I'll kiss her and make out with her, hopefully she wont say stop or no. I'll lay on top of her, make out for a while, bite her and all that shit, then start rubbing on her pussy, she'll probably be wearing jeans, i wish she would wear a skirt. i'll rub her for a while, then work my hands under the pants and finger her while i kiss her. then work my way up under the shirt, rub her tits, then suck on them. then i'll work my way down to unzipping her pants and kissing her crotch area until i get the pants wedged down enough to start eating her out. I'll eat her out for a while, then take her pants off and eat her some more. then i'll get her to suck my dick for a bit, then go back to eating her out, slip on a condom while i'm eating her out and then put it in her when she doesn't expect and go to town on her.

Dude sounds like Holden Caulfield... Painful are you a troubled, angst ridden teen?

Threak · Dec 30, 2006

More Meat said:
Dude sounds like Holden Caulfield... Painful are you a troubled, angst ridden teen?

[COLOR=#000ff]Holden Caulfield[/COLOR] the protagonist teenage character in the 1951 novel The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.

Juggers · Dec 30, 2006

I was thinking of "A Child called It"...but what do I know.

Pandora · Dec 30, 2006

Did you fuck her then what happened.

penguinsfan · Dec 30, 2006

Painful Pleasur said:
"you're datable but I can't tell you if you're fuckable because I'm too much of a tease."

She could be continuing to tease you.

she loves to drink she says, but i only have like 2 beers in the fridge to give her.

So, make a beer run.

blackice · Dec 30, 2006

Threak said:
Painful Pleasur to definitely get laid tonight you should be totally honest with her and tell her the following things about yourself.

You are a chronic masturbator.

You are Bi-Sexual and love licking on guys nutsacks.

You still have wet dreams at 20 years old about your Mother.

You would fuck your sister or your cousin if you weren't an only child.

You like to fuck boys/girls under the age of consent.

You wonder why your Father's penis is bigger than yours.

You like looking at your Uncles, cousins, and neighbors penis.

You would like to do a self-circumcision.

You are sexually built like a nine year old boy.

You wish you had a 13x8 inch penis to club every girl you're angry with.

You dabble in P.E.

You like spending your free time spelunking

You are gonna wear a skirt (to feel pretty) if she wears jeans.

Then after all that simply ask her if she wants to go back to your place and have sex with you.

Because every guy knows a women loves a real man who is honest about themselves. I know it works for me, but I don't have those Sick & Twisted issues that you have.

HAHAHAhaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhaahahah, ahhhhhhhhh

That just made my week

MAXAMEYES · Jan 11, 2007

Dudes...
I am fukkin' DYING reading this thread (ass actually detaches from body due to uncontrolled laughter) and I think I ruptured a Gawdamm brain valve.
Only thing I can think of is that PP stands for Pathetic Poser.
Kid; you either gotta grow up or shut up or you're gonna get ate up.
Good luck.

Muffy · Jan 26, 2007

Painful Pleasur said:
I figure, we play pool, go back to my place, I play some amazing guitar licks to impress her, I put down my ax, sit down next to her and let her play if she wants. Then when she's done playing, I'll kiss her and make out with her, hopefully she wont say stop or no. I'll lay on top of her, make out for a while, bite her and all that shit, then start rubbing on her pussy, she'll probably be wearing jeans, i wish she would wear a skirt. i'll rub her for a while, then work my hands under the pants and finger her while i kiss her. then work my way up under the shirt, rub her tits, then suck on them. then i'll work my way down to unzipping her pants and kissing her crotch area until i get the pants wedged down enough to start eating her out. I'll eat her out for a while, then take her pants off and eat her some more. then i'll get her to suck my dick for a bit, then go back to eating her out, slip on a condom while i'm eating her out and then put it in her when she doesn't expect and go to town on her.

In my opinion - no one likes a pre meditated sexual encounter like this one. :blush: It's the spontaneity that makes it wild

Painful Pleasur said:
she loves to drink she says, but i only have like 2 beers in the fridge to give her.

Tip two - get more beers - she's going to need them

samzman · Jan 26, 2007

get some good drinks in her. hard stuff to get her buzzed quick. you're rusty so you need all the help you can get
don't plan on what to do, because that's just setting yourself up for a fall..because what if she doesn't like the guitar licks? what if she likes drummers? or better yet...britney spears?
all you have to do is get some drinks, sit down with her..CLOSE to her. you know "arm over the couch" type thing. talk with her, actu like you're listening..DONT' STARE AT HER TITS, try to look at her eyes and she'll get the point hopefully. if she smiles..smile too. if she's interested she might bring up the sex thing..and if after a while it doesn't happen on her end, jokingly bring up the topic. sayin somethin like "idk if it's the alcohol talking but.."
watch her body language. if her legs are partially open the whole time that means that she's at least slightly interested. if her body is facing you while she's doing it? then that's a great sign. getting laid is alllll about reading HER. just act like you give a shit about what she's saying, keep looking at her face, and try to set off some type of physical contact...be it a slight touch on the shoulder while she laughs or whatever.

idk..i try that stuff and it seems to lead to kissing and more. so good luck with that if it didn't already happen.

against_odds21 · Jan 30, 2007

Great post samzman. You are very tuned into to body language which is a big thing when it comes to females.

I might be getting laid today

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