Stay strong brother.
Work on yourself and soon women will chase you.
I have been alone most of my life...it's starting to work for me now. We need to focus on our own journey. You should do you.
Yes it's an awful programming, but we can't change how we grew up. If our feelings didn't matter when growing up, we tend to become very hard on ourselves. Our brain consist mostly of negative thoughts about ourselves, but this preposition of though patterns can be changed with time.
@SaintGermain have you tried,
Behavioral Therapy?
You work with a professional with your behavior, and this in turn will change how you think and feel about yourself in relation to others. Really powerful! I highly recommend it.
I can send more information if you need it.
Take care.