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A Letter from the Church
This is an actual letter I found on-line.
I said I would write some reflections on life as a Catholic Priest.I want to emphasize that these are my experiences and not necessarily representative of others. Just thought that it was worth adding these thoughts.
I spent 10 years in Seminary training - I started when I was 17 and came out the other end as a priest. Of nearly 30 I began with less than a third survived that distance, and of the 8 ordained, less than a third of them are still in the priesthood all these years (18) later. Most people think that the men who begin and do not survive the training or the priesthood have only one problem and that is celibacy (the vow that excludes them from marriage). The truth is that celibacy is a significant issue for many but not the only issue. For some (more than a few) it is the principal point of difficulty while for others it is a contributing factor to their reasons for leaving.
This issue (celibacy) is also over simplified to two scenarios by many -as being the issue either of not being married or of not having sex. Sure both are really significant parts of the equation - but I have heard many (probably more) guys who leave say that they want more than anything to be in a relationship where they are loved and can love -this is much more common than that they are massively horny or desperate for a woman!
At the same time - another common fallacy is that most clergy are gay. I must admit that I have encountered several that are of homosexual orientation. I think that the pomp and grandeur, bells and smells of religion appeals to some gay guys, as does the vestments and the dressing up. Maybe that is a little simplistic and may even sound offensive - it is not meant to be but like the theater it draws a similar crowd. For other gay guys I guess it is easier to be an unmarried priest than it is to come out of the closet. Uncle Peter being unmarried at 45 is more of a give away than Uncle Peter is a priest! Also if you are going to be un-partnered then I think that some professional and dedicated jobs lend themselves to being single. Remember unmarriedhospital matrons who devoted themselves to the sick of their hospitals!
A third common belief is that most clergy are secretly getting sex somewhere or somehow. This applies I guess for both straight and gay clergy. There is a common belief that housekeepers and or parishioners are often the targets of this affection. I admit it does happen. But in my experience it is very rare. I think that more often where there is suspicion there is a certain relationship of affection between a priest and a housekeeper (or someone else for that matter) - the relationship is more like a family or brother/sister thing. I also think that at times it can be very possessive - more often than not the housekeeper feeling possessive. In fact today -the live-in housekeeper is a much rarer thing than it was in the past.
Often priests sublimate their need for affection in good deeds. For other priests there is often a family (or families) that will include him in their life and this also provides the affection and warmth that we all need. So to the more basic issue - do priests who are celibate (not married) have any sex?
I cannot answer that for everyone either. But I can answer it for me. I masturbate and relatively regularly. As far as I am aware I am not supposed to. I must confess (sic) to not asking that question during my training - but everything I have read indicates that what is expected is total abstinence. So do priests abstain? As far as I am aware many try to live like that. Certainly that is painted as the ideal to which one aspires. I must confess to not being too good at the ideal. I find reality much more ideal for me!
So of course if you do not masturbate then what certainly happens is that they must have wet dreams - and some maybe even spontaneous ejaculations. I have heard of guys who without any physical stimulation cum. But the theory is that one (the priest) should not "entertain impure thoughts." I must admit I liked the reply that I once heard - it was not original - of a priest being asked by another priest - whether he entertained impure thoughts - to which his answer was, "No they entertained me!!!!"
So above all it is important to recognize that priests are human - I was never taught any techniques that worked to stop me being as red blooded as the next guy. Sure keeping away from "occasions of sin" and "custody of the eyes" (a great term don't you think - it includes not looking at things that might cause you to be aroused!!! - such as women and pics and things) and then there was always the "Index" of banned books which included Lady Chatterley's Lover and the like, as well as heretical material.
This is an actual letter I found on-line.
I said I would write some reflections on life as a Catholic Priest.I want to emphasize that these are my experiences and not necessarily representative of others. Just thought that it was worth adding these thoughts.
I spent 10 years in Seminary training - I started when I was 17 and came out the other end as a priest. Of nearly 30 I began with less than a third survived that distance, and of the 8 ordained, less than a third of them are still in the priesthood all these years (18) later. Most people think that the men who begin and do not survive the training or the priesthood have only one problem and that is celibacy (the vow that excludes them from marriage). The truth is that celibacy is a significant issue for many but not the only issue. For some (more than a few) it is the principal point of difficulty while for others it is a contributing factor to their reasons for leaving.
This issue (celibacy) is also over simplified to two scenarios by many -as being the issue either of not being married or of not having sex. Sure both are really significant parts of the equation - but I have heard many (probably more) guys who leave say that they want more than anything to be in a relationship where they are loved and can love -this is much more common than that they are massively horny or desperate for a woman!
At the same time - another common fallacy is that most clergy are gay. I must admit that I have encountered several that are of homosexual orientation. I think that the pomp and grandeur, bells and smells of religion appeals to some gay guys, as does the vestments and the dressing up. Maybe that is a little simplistic and may even sound offensive - it is not meant to be but like the theater it draws a similar crowd. For other gay guys I guess it is easier to be an unmarried priest than it is to come out of the closet. Uncle Peter being unmarried at 45 is more of a give away than Uncle Peter is a priest! Also if you are going to be un-partnered then I think that some professional and dedicated jobs lend themselves to being single. Remember unmarriedhospital matrons who devoted themselves to the sick of their hospitals!
A third common belief is that most clergy are secretly getting sex somewhere or somehow. This applies I guess for both straight and gay clergy. There is a common belief that housekeepers and or parishioners are often the targets of this affection. I admit it does happen. But in my experience it is very rare. I think that more often where there is suspicion there is a certain relationship of affection between a priest and a housekeeper (or someone else for that matter) - the relationship is more like a family or brother/sister thing. I also think that at times it can be very possessive - more often than not the housekeeper feeling possessive. In fact today -the live-in housekeeper is a much rarer thing than it was in the past.
Often priests sublimate their need for affection in good deeds. For other priests there is often a family (or families) that will include him in their life and this also provides the affection and warmth that we all need. So to the more basic issue - do priests who are celibate (not married) have any sex?
I cannot answer that for everyone either. But I can answer it for me. I masturbate and relatively regularly. As far as I am aware I am not supposed to. I must confess (sic) to not asking that question during my training - but everything I have read indicates that what is expected is total abstinence. So do priests abstain? As far as I am aware many try to live like that. Certainly that is painted as the ideal to which one aspires. I must confess to not being too good at the ideal. I find reality much more ideal for me!
So of course if you do not masturbate then what certainly happens is that they must have wet dreams - and some maybe even spontaneous ejaculations. I have heard of guys who without any physical stimulation cum. But the theory is that one (the priest) should not "entertain impure thoughts." I must admit I liked the reply that I once heard - it was not original - of a priest being asked by another priest - whether he entertained impure thoughts - to which his answer was, "No they entertained me!!!!"
So above all it is important to recognize that priests are human - I was never taught any techniques that worked to stop me being as red blooded as the next guy. Sure keeping away from "occasions of sin" and "custody of the eyes" (a great term don't you think - it includes not looking at things that might cause you to be aroused!!! - such as women and pics and things) and then there was always the "Index" of banned books which included Lady Chatterley's Lover and the like, as well as heretical material.