A girl at work.......

Hey guys. I was obviously being very broad with my examples. I definatly agree that there are women or girls like BigJoe said, that like being treated bad, or talked down to. However these are the very girls that will bring so much drama with them you will want to wish you never met them.

I do have one friend like that. She won't mess with a guy if he's "to nice".....but then the ass holes she hooks up with treat her like crap....and "poof" she has drama. She gets off on it. She always has to be the center of attention, and that usually means having some dumb ass cocky prick bossing her around, running around on her, or even smacking her around. It is incredibly stupid, and a waste of time....but that is how she gets off. I would not reccomend this type of girl to anyone I know, much less care about.

One more thing that is bothering me is the fact that you feel like you have to act a certain way to "get a girl". Be yourself for God sake.....I think it safe to say that your personality comes across on these forums, and you seem like an awesome guy. Just be your self, and if she doesn't like you - fuck her (not literally). Now, I understand the whole flirt and chase thing - it is fun, and really sexy. HOWEVER, I don't agree with you beating your self up or doubting that your good enough. There is pleanty of pussy in the sea.....don't waste your time coming down to a level your not comfortable with. If she's just into being dominate over men, cool....but if she wants guys following her around so that she can ignore them, or treat them badly - I would be inclined to say "get over yourself honey".

I guess a good rule of thumb would be.....if you find yourself trying to hard, or altering your personality - leave it alone. If being an ass hole gets you laid, your probably going to pay the price. Going the extra mile to be nice.....will pay off in the end, and attract the type of girl, that I think you are looking for.

Whew....I feel like Dr. Phil.....I'm off my soapbox now......carry on :)
 
To answer your question on this, I wouldn't read into it that much. I mean, maybe the woman is really fed up with him being such a slacker. The fact that she didn't talk to him doesn't really mean anything. Unless she is in fact the type of girl I spoke of previously. In which case, I think she's sick....and doesn't deserve a guy like you persuing her.

Let the other fool have her.....he obviously wouldn't mind the drama that she is dishing out.

REDZULU2003 said:
Your right. Thanks.

Lastly though what do you think about this.......



I talked to the chef who works their and he has dealing with everyone as he sees everyone and is a nice guy. Anyways he said to me he thinks this girls has a soft spot for this other guy and the way she behaved today i.e not talking to him for cooming in late and not pulling ihis weight proves that.

I'm as usual have become confused over that .... thoughts?
Click to expand...
 
bIgjOe said:
I tend to agree with Penguinsfan about the asshole thing. I also think thewife is partly right too though. I believe that the assholes are way more attractive to GIRLS, and the confident, motivated, sweet, nice guy is more attractive to WOMEN. There is a big difference I believe, and I also think age isn't always an indicator of such. I think I've met more than one 35 year girl (not romantically), and my sister for example, has been a woman since probably turning 12. She is just very mentally mature for her age.

I currently go to school at a University and I would say at least 90% of the females in attendance are GIRLS. I actually tried the asshole thing for a bit last year, and it did get me laid a few times, but it just wasn't me, it felt like I was selling myself out, and the sex felt terribly empty. In one case a girl got with me just to get another guy she had slept with to leave her alone, so that was kind of a wake up call as to what direction my emotional life was headed.

It seems that these girls would rather get with an immature BOY whom they can have a psychological "one up" on than to risk falling for a MAN.
WOMEN appreciate a MAN who is responsible, respectful, and who knows how to take care of himself, as well as take care of her and make her feel safe. Sometimes it seems that the GIRLS I meet at random almost find me threatening. I'm 5'9", caucasian, and a solid 185 pounds with a 330 lb. bench press. I carry myself with my chin up, a relaxed, confident gait, and oftentimes a smile (not a smirk) on my face. I always try to find something to smile about to brighten the day, and it doesn't hurt to look friendly either.

I always try to be outgoing and meet new people, or talk to new girls whenever the opportunity arises. So at the end of the day I find myself getting frustrated at how they almost seem to flock to the scrawny, loud, immature little frat BOYS that are a dime a dozen here. Then, however, I try to remind myself that most of those GIRLS would probably drive me crazy if I got involved with them, but I wonder if that isn't just sour grapes. Right now I'm talking to a cute student in one of my classes who is 3 years older than me. It was amazing how well we seemed to hit it off on the first day we met, and her looks are just my type. The contrast in the quality of simple conversation with this WOMAN compared to the many GIRLS I have gotten to know is grossly obvious and just makes me more certain of the difference. I was actually following this thread with some interest because I want to move forward beyond just regular friendly conversation between the two of us. I think there is good chemistry between us, and she always seems to perk up when she sees me, but I suppose she could just be really nice too. Anyway, take that for what its worth.
Click to expand...

This means explains so much to me, means tons that you took the time to write that and I understand it all. The WOMAN and GIRL thing and that it doesnt have to be age related.
 
Again a massive thank you to thewife for your SUPenis EnlargementRB help on all this.
I feel like a sili prick asking such questions on here about things I should know about and see but with my condition it sometimes can be hard, plus its new terrotory in the work place.

My only update today is that her and I are talking more to oneanother and she's still really nice to me and respectful.

I will keep flirting with her, just for fun and to get to know her more ... thats it, I dont really think romance is on the cards and I will just have fun with her.

I sense a slight something with her at times, from her .... its sorta like the nervous girl thing, you know when the girl likes the boy and gets alittle shy and nervous around him ... well at times like I said I think I'm seeing this pattern from her, could be wrong but I dunno.

At the end of the day I will just have fun and get to know her better with the nice flirting and see where it leads ... doesnt matter if it isnt romance.

cheers
 
Ok, It´s about time I say what I´ve been thinking these last few days following this thread:

That girl (or woman, idk) got a good look, sometime, somewhere, at your bulge.

To me, that explains it all (except the lazy jerk). I know I might very well be wrong though.
 
thewife said:
One more thing that is bothering me is the fact that you feel like you have to act a certain way to "get a girl". Be yourself for God sake.....I think it safe to say that your personality comes across on these forums, and you seem like an awesome guy. Just be your self, and if she doesn't like you - fuck her (not literally). Now, I understand the whole flirt and chase thing - it is fun, and really sexy. HOWEVER, I don't agree with you beating your self up or doubting that your good enough. There is pleanty of pussy in the sea.....don't waste your time coming down to a level your not comfortable with. If she's just into being dominate over men, cool....but if she wants guys following her around so that she can ignore them, or treat them badly - I would be inclined to say "get over yourself honey".

I guess a good rule of thumb would be.....if you find yourself trying to hard, or altering your personality - leave it alone. If being an ass hole gets you laid, your probably going to pay the price. Going the extra mile to be nice.....will pay off in the end, and attract the type of girl, that I think you are looking for.

Whew....I feel like Dr. Phil.....I'm off my soapbox now......carry on :)
Click to expand...

:clap:

Great advice! If anyone likes me in any way...great...but I'm sure as hell not going to go home and cry or lose any sleep over any individual opinion.
 
Chi said:
Ok, It´s about time I say what I´ve been thinking these last few days following this thread:

That girl (or woman, idk) got a good look, sometime, somewhere, at your bulge.

To me, that explains it all (except the lazy jerk). I know I might very well be wrong though.
Click to expand...

I'm confused ... how would that explain her behaviour, because shes seen my bulge? Can you please explain how you came to that answer.
 
Well, you've said she used to boss you around and then stopped. Also, she's been acting kind of shy or embarrased around you. She respects you now too.

It could all be attributted to you being a nice guy, that's correct. But a big dick most likely commands respect from any girl. I would guess any female would change the way she treats you or looks at you by simply knowing you have a big (huge) dick.

I'd say she doesn't even know how to react to it. Kindoff scared, excited, curious too. But never bossy or anything like that. When you are around her, a huge dick is right around her. Couple that with you being a all around good guy and there's no way she wouldn't be interested. I think it's a combination of both.

But again, it is a very rushed conclusion. I very well could be totally wrong.
 
Thanks for explaining that Chi. I dunno when she could have caught a glimse of my bulge as I dont actually sit with my legs in the typical open posture, but crossed over. Maybe she has seen a slght bulge when I've been walking around ?:( I havent noticed her looking in that region. The pants I wear arent like tracksuit bottoms which would really show the bulge but polyester/cotton and black. Who knows.
 
Last edited:
Okay just a quick update to say that I'm more content with how things are going now with relation to this woman I really like.

Having looked at it from many angles, I do not belive she has had any relationships with anyone at my workplace and she says she is single.

This woman isnt easy to win. I'm going to use all my charm, which I have in abundence from my Cypriot roots :) and use all the experience I have from my winnings in the past, although tha was in different settings to this and was outside work ... but I wont be put off.

She to me is putting on a slight cloak to hide the fact she wants to really let loose and have a man with her.

My tactic is simple. The Egg theory ;) woman from my experiences are like eggs when you try to get with them. They either crack quickly and you get the meal fast or in this case they crack slowly and you wait for the meal.

I'm going to need to crack her slowly, wearing down her defense peace by peace until she brings it down than I will go in for the kill. It might take me weeks or a few months but I shall try my hardest to crack this baby.

Its a challenge and experience IMHO plus I can only get to know her more from it all.

I'll keep you all informed on how it all goes. Already I have noticed she makes more of an effort to look more sexy than usual, and have extra eye shadow on and other stuff woman use. Shes also smiling more at my jokes and talks more to me.

I'm feeling very confident but know full well this could end in failure, but if you dont try than you dont know and the old saying will be used that my father uttered when he was in the service ''Who Dares Wins''

Later
 
Okay Red I just read this thread and here's my two cents. Everybody's right and everybody's wrong. The first and most important rule and you hear this all the time: Be yourself. Any woman worth her salt can see through an act with little effort. People like to say nice guys never get the girl but I beg to differ. I've always gone the nice guy route because that's who I am but that doesn't mean I'm a sniveling pussy either. One of my favorite things to say when someone gets out of line whether it be at a party, a social outing of any kind, or just with strangers in public is: "Look I'm a nice guy, so please don't make me kick your ass." So many people clam up when they witness some asshole treating another like shit for no reason and they just whisper to themselves and others, "Should I say something?" I pounce at the drop of hat. This doesn't mean I like to go start shit all the time either, in my heart of hearts I'm a pacifist. I just believe in being strong and assertive at the same time. Just about any woman will dig this. I kind of pick up from your posts here that you are the same way. I think this is what got her attention not your bulge. LMAO

I used to be quite the lady's man before I was married so I speak from experience about this stuff. You didn't take her bullshit so she was forced to stop and take a mental look at you, you dig? Confidence is the name of the game. I've had ex's that were rather affluent and ran in snobby circles. There would be situations where we would be hanging out with their friends or family and someone would take a potshot at my bluecollar status or make some off colored remark about some group that they felt was beneath them. I would not hesitate to call them on their shit and they would be like deer in headlights, all wide eyed and not knowing what the fuck to do. The women in these situations whether it was my girl or someones else's would take strong note of me for this and their reaction was always a positive one in my regard.

Now I'm not one of those idiots who takes weeks or a month to call a girl but intitially I have had the tendencey to let them come to me. I don't totally ignore them but I don't give them a lot of attention either. This just make the fire burn hotter for them to get to me. You can try to engage her in conversation , just don't make a habit of it. Try to talk about something you are passionate about. She will see that you are sharing a part of yourself and will recognize the weight of it. Of course when she talks you really have to listen, so many men are terrible at this. I used to hear from girls all the time, " you're the first guy that ever really listened to me". Works better than foreplay.

As for the whole age difference. Ride that til' the wheels fall off. When I was in my twenties I saw many women who were in their thirties and it was all good. Older women know what they want and they know how to dish it out. You say this woman seems like no push over and that's a good thing. As you already know anything worth having takes an an effort. Good luck and if you need anything else let me know.
 
nobody said:
Okay Red I just read this thread and here's my two cents. Everybody's right and everybody's wrong. The first and most important rule and you hear this all the time: Be yourself. Any woman worth her salt can see through an act with little effort. People like to say nice guys never get the girl but I beg to differ. I've always gone the nice guy route because that's who I am but that doesn't mean I'm a sniveling pussy either. One of my favorite things to say when someone gets out of line whether it be at a party, a social outing of any kind, or just with strangers in public is: "Look I'm a nice guy, so please don't make me kick your ass." So many people clam up when they witness some asshole treating another like shit for no reason and they just whisper to themselves and others, "Should I say something?" I pounce at the drop of hat. This doesn't mean I like to go start shit all the time either, in my heart of hearts I'm a pacifist. I just believe in being strong and assertive at the same time. Just about any woman will dig this. I kind of pick up from your posts here that you are the same way. I think this is what got her attention not your bulge. LMAO

I used to be quite the lady's man before I was married so I speak from experience about this stuff. You didn't take her bullshit so she was forced to stop and take a mental look at you, you dig? Confidence is the name of the game. I've had ex's that were rather affluent and ran in snobby circles. There would be situations where we would be hanging out with their friends or family and someone would take a potshot at my bluecollar status or make some off colored remark about some group that they felt was beneath them. I would not hesitate to call them on their shit and they would be like deer in headlights, all wide eyed and not knowing what the fuck to do. The women in these situations whether it was my girl or someones else's would take strong note of me for this and their reaction was always a positive one in my regard.

Now I'm not one of those idiots who takes weeks or a month to call a girl but intitially I have had the tendencey to let them come to me. I don't totally ignore them but I don't give them a lot of attention either. This just make the fire burn hotter for them to get to me. You can try to engage her in conversation , just don't make a habit of it. Try to talk about something you are passionate about. She will see that you are sharing a part of yourself and will recognize the weight of it. Of course when she talks you really have to listen, so many men are terrible at this. I used to hear from girls all the time, " you're the first guy that ever really listened to me". Works better than foreplay.

As for the whole age difference. Ride that til' the wheels fall off. When I was in my twenties I saw many women who were in their thirties and it was all good. Older women know what they want and they know how to dish it out. You say this woman seems like no push over and that's a good thing. As you already know anything worth having takes an an effort. Good luck and if you need anything else let me know.
Click to expand...


What a post. Thanks mate it was really helpful. Makes sense and yeah you and I sound similer in the way we are assertive and dont take shit. Funny that because ALL the woman at my work WILL NOT cause shit with me because I stand my ground. I dont mean I go ape shit and get nasty but they know not to push me as I will tell it as it is. I have shot a few of the more 'nasty old bitches' down in my time since working their and I have noticed that the young punk who I thought my crush was longing for gets spoken to like a dog. None of the woman and I mean NONE of the woman have ANY RESPenis EnlargementCT for him and always assume the worst. The dude who works nights also they dont mess with him, but the odd one does so he is also another. The chef lol he gets tons of shit and none of the woman respect him. The only males respected in my workplace out of the 5 that work in their, including me is me and the chef who comes from north africa and he takes NO SHIT ... period but he has been called by some behind his back.

I suppose woman like me more because of this. I'm actually a queit person who doesnt talk loads but when I need to stand my ground I do it with assertiveness that cuts some to ribbons. Maybe this is what the woman in their also respect?

I'll let you know how it goes.

thanks
 
bIgjOe said:
I tend to agree with Penguinsfan about the asshole thing. I also think thewife is partly right too though. I believe that the assholes are way more attractive to GIRLS, and the confident, motivated, sweet, nice guy is more attractive to WOMEN. There is a big difference I believe, and I also think age isn't always an indicator of such. I think I've met more than one 35 year girl (not romantically), and my sister for example, has been a woman since probably turning 12. She is just very mentally mature for her age.

I currently go to school at a University and I would say at least 90% of the females in attendance are GIRLS. I actually tried the asshole thing for a bit last year, and it did get me laid a few times, but it just wasn't me, it felt like I was selling myself out, and the sex felt terribly empty. In one case a girl got with me just to get another guy she had slept with to leave her alone, so that was kind of a wake up call as to what direction my emotional life was headed.

WOW. Left me speechless and mouth hanging open a bit on that tidbit. I can't imagine the shallowness and egocentricity of a person that would do that or consider that as a viable option for her "dillemma." I feel for that person.

It seems that these girls would rather get with an immature BOY whom they can have a psychological "one up" on than to risk falling for a MAN.
WOMEN appreciate a MAN who is responsible, respectful, and who knows how to take care of himself, as well as take care of her and make her feel safe. Sometimes it seems that the GIRLS I meet at random almost find me threatening. I'm 5'9", caucasian, and a solid 185 pounds with a 330 lb. bench press. I carry myself with my chin up, a relaxed, confident gait, and oftentimes a smile (not a smirk) on my face. I always try to find something to smile about to brighten the day, and it doesn't hurt to look friendly either.

I always try to be outgoing and meet new people, or talk to new girls whenever the opportunity arises. So at the end of the day I find myself getting frustrated at how they almost seem to flock to the scrawny, loud, immature little frat BOYS that are a dime a dozen here. Then, however, I try to remind myself that most of those GIRLS would probably drive me crazy if I got involved with them, but I wonder if that isn't just sour grapes. Right now I'm talking to a cute student in one of my classes who is 3 years older than me. It was amazing how well we seemed to hit it off on the first day we met, and her looks are just my type. The contrast in the quality of simple conversation with this WOMAN compared to the many GIRLS I have gotten to know is grossly obvious and just makes me more certain of the difference. I was actually following this thread with some interest because I want to move forward beyond just regular friendly conversation between the two of us. I think there is good chemistry between us, and she always seems to perk up when she sees me, but I suppose she could just be really nice too. Anyway, take that for what its worth.
Click to expand...
 
Okay VERY quick update without going into every detail.

Things with me and the lady are going good....low key but good.
She has started flirting with me more, infact she never used to flirt with me period but now she does and her whole attiture towards me is better, shes nice and finds me in the buidling more.

I'm sending her flowers to the workplace on Wednesday alongwith some chocolates, and they AINT CHEAP either!!

I'm working the same shift as her but plan to play it cool, be nicer to her but wont let it slip. She wont know who sent them as I wont be writing that on. I will however have some Greek-Cypriot writing at the end of the card, makes it more romantic and is a stealth signiture if you will as she knows I have roots in that land.

On Thursday, she and I are on a late shift and I will ensure that she and I get first break ... lasts one hour, in that time I will tell her I sent the flowers and explain my feelings for her and see how she feels for me.

Will keep you updated
 
Oh yeah. She and I will be freinds. Infact I will update this more indepth soon as they is more to the tale than she saying just freinds.

Some lessons learned and I think some of you reading might learn from 'perhaps' the odd mistake I made?

I will tell the story very soon
 
chocolate and flowers are rewards...not gifts.

Chicks would never go out with me if I bought them shit before the relationship really started getting going.

Look at some of the PUA and don juan sites if you are serious about changing your outlook on women. Having said that, not 100% of their stuff is good, but you are smart enough to read through the lines and weed out the bullshit.

Read the DJ (don juan) bible.

The way that women are attracted to me, at times, is usually when i am both confident/playful/nice. And the way I project those attributes/feelings is I just imagine myself as having a girlfriend (who I am in an "open relationship" with).
1. There is no pressure to score with this chick, cuz "i got a chick at home waiting to fuck my brains out."
2. I dont need this chick to be all over me right now, cuz I am not desperate, but lets see how fun and playful she can be in response to my playfullness.
3. I AM A CATCH and the reason I know this is because "I have an unbelievable girlfriend right now" There is no way this chick wont like me, and no reason she wont be at least slightly sexually attracted to me.
4. Lets see how far I can push this slight sexual attraction, who knows, I might do some crazy shit tonight with this chick.

all the " are thoughts, not verbal in those instances.

Good luck man....plus relationship at work leads to drama 95% of the time.

UU
 
Red, just a little update to your thread, it seems like we are both kinda in a similar situation.

I know what your going through, and its a pain in the ass, but you can and WILL get over her and be able to just be friendly with her.

I'll post more later when I get time...
 
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