Jiko Kaizen
Banned for life
I appreciate your answer, but that question was directed @squirt_inducer_man for his view on the statement he made.
squirt_inducer_man
(SIM)
@Jiko Kaizen, here is the answer you requested.
My answer:
You will be destroyed from within. Let me explain further...
... I have never been anyone that have cheated anything in my life. Everything I have accomplished and done have been with hard work, pain and suffer (a lot of suffering), and I have always been true to myself and others. I have always told people the truth. I would not be able to cheat.
If we dig deeper in this concept...If you are not true to yourself, and we are honest with your experience of your reality this dishonesty will catch up to you in the future, and it will not be a fun experience.
To not be true to yourself and others will not be beneficial for you, If you need more then one woman, my question to you is: - What are you chasing? Is something you are trying to run from within yourself?
Some related situation that I'm dealing with right now.
The problem in this situation for me above (see quote) is that I haven't been true to myself, and this created a co-dependent relationship with this person in question. Because it felt like someone in my life needed me, if they where not in my life I would be all alone. What I did was not helpful...because the more I helped this person, the more this person was dependent on me to fix their situation. But It got to the point where I could not help any longer. This was a hard realization (cried a bit) because I care much about this person. The regrets with helping to much in the beginning are really strong. But I can't change the past.
It was not just this...this situation was extremely stressful for me, I could not relax and focus on what I wanted from life. I lived with this persons problems daily (imagine if this was related to cheating? == it's not)...because I'm a kind person, and want to help people around me. But sometimes you can be to kind, so kind that you forget yourself in the process. You want to help...but to what prize, how many years are you suppose to help them? You feel stuck in life. I believe this situation above prevented me from finding a new woman (a new relationship and moving on), I felt trapped and could not live for myself fully. I had one foot out and one foot in in this relationship (there where no sex involved in this relationship).
This person was not doing this because the person wanted to be harmful to me. They where doing it, because they felt they had no choice but to ask for help (a crisis situation for them). But the longer I stayed put and kept this situation going...the harder everything would be. If you read the quote above you will get an insight what can happen if you help a person to much. Watch the video as well. This was really hard for me. ☹
But it's done now (relationship = ended). The person will never understand...this is the hardest part. The person is really a beautiful person that had a really tough life.
Imagine if this was related to cheating? You have a woman at home, but you are more invested with these women you are chasing outside of this relationship (with your wife/girlfriend). How can you ever be fully in with the relationship with your wife or girlfriend, when you have so many women in your life?
Maybe my situation above (in the quote) do not relate directly to what we are talking about here, with cheating. But for me it's highly related. Cheating can also be to not be able to let go of people who are not suppose to be in your life (any longer). You are to much emotionally invested in the wrong people, and this can destroy your current relationship with your wife/girlfriend. To be to much emotionally invested can also happen if you are starting to date a woman. We need to put our emotions towards the right people in out life.
If you cheat...how are you handling your emotions? Are you thinking about your wife/girlfriend when you have sex with the other women?
- This is an genuine question because I have not been cheating (ever).
This is only a thought experiment:
Let us say that you have a woman at home, a girlfriend or wife. And you meet another woman at the gym. This woman is highly promiscuous and she's willing to have sex with you this same day (first time you meet her).
- What does this do to your relationship with your wife/girlfriend?
This is the case:
The more women you have sex with at the same time, the less value women in your life will have for you. You will start to loose your sense of confidence (your EGO will take over)...because you cheat every woman in your life. In the moment you feel good about it, because your EGO gets a boost every time you have sex with a new woman. But in the long run this behavior will destroy you from the inside. You do not care about all these woman's emotions or how they feel about this behavior of yours. You are only thinking about yourself.
We continue on this thought experiment...Let us say that you find another woman as well. You now have 3 different women that you have sex with on a regular basis (your girlfriend is still at home and cooking food for you). You go behind their backs, everyone of them. They do not know about each other...you now have to start lying to each and every one of them, in order to not revel what you are doing. You are a SIMP/a weak man! (no judgment, just stating facts).
If the women would know about each other, it would be a different situation, then you would be 100% true to yourself and others.
But in this situation you are not. When you start cheating yourself and others around you...it's a downward spiral. Will you start to cheat others as well (not just women)? Your sense of moral judgment gets washed out, you start to loose yourself. Who are you?
This is a picture of the downward spiral that can
start to happen, when you cheat in your life (cheating others and yourself).
View attachment 1834269
- Do you think this behavior and this type of situation will be good for you (situation above)? You will start lying to yourself and others around you? What happens if you are talking in your sleep, and are mentioning these women's names in your sleep? Sooner or later everything will end...as @DLD said...you will be alone.
Again: What are you looking for, if you feel the need to cheat with your woman?
If you are not content with your relationship, you should end it before looking for someone new. You need to be emotional invested with people around you, otherwise what is the point with meaningless sex?
How do you control STD's? Because you will for sure get one sooner or later, even if you wear protection.
* This was my thoughts about this concept of: Cheating.
* Keep in mind that the text above I wrote is only some speculations and theories about what can happen, it's purpose is not to judge anyone.
Just my thoughts on the subject.
Kind regards.
My answer:
You will be destroyed from within. Let me explain further...
... I have never been anyone that have cheated anything in my life. Everything I have accomplished and done have been with hard work, pain and suffer (a lot of suffering), and I have always been true to myself and others. I have always told people the truth. I would not be able to cheat.
If we dig deeper in this concept...If you are not true to yourself, and we are honest with your experience of your reality this dishonesty will catch up to you in the future, and it will not be a fun experience.
To not be true to yourself and others will not be beneficial for you, If you need more then one woman, my question to you is: - What are you chasing? Is something you are trying to run from within yourself?
Some related situation that I'm dealing with right now.
The problem in this situation for me above (see quote) is that I haven't been true to myself, and this created a co-dependent relationship with this person in question. Because it felt like someone in my life needed me, if they where not in my life I would be all alone. What I did was not helpful...because the more I helped this person, the more this person was dependent on me to fix their situation. But It got to the point where I could not help any longer. This was a hard realization (cried a bit) because I care much about this person. The regrets with helping to much in the beginning are really strong. But I can't change the past.
It was not just this...this situation was extremely stressful for me, I could not relax and focus on what I wanted from life. I lived with this persons problems daily (imagine if this was related to cheating? == it's not)...because I'm a kind person, and want to help people around me. But sometimes you can be to kind, so kind that you forget yourself in the process. You want to help...but to what prize, how many years are you suppose to help them? You feel stuck in life. I believe this situation above prevented me from finding a new woman (a new relationship and moving on), I felt trapped and could not live for myself fully. I had one foot out and one foot in in this relationship (there where no sex involved in this relationship).
This person was not doing this because the person wanted to be harmful to me. They where doing it, because they felt they had no choice but to ask for help (a crisis situation for them). But the longer I stayed put and kept this situation going...the harder everything would be. If you read the quote above you will get an insight what can happen if you help a person to much. Watch the video as well. This was really hard for me. ☹
But it's done now (relationship = ended). The person will never understand...this is the hardest part. The person is really a beautiful person that had a really tough life.
Imagine if this was related to cheating? You have a woman at home, but you are more invested with these women you are chasing outside of this relationship (with your wife/girlfriend). How can you ever be fully in with the relationship with your wife or girlfriend, when you have so many women in your life?
Maybe my situation above (in the quote) do not relate directly to what we are talking about here, with cheating. But for me it's highly related. Cheating can also be to not be able to let go of people who are not suppose to be in your life (any longer). You are to much emotionally invested in the wrong people, and this can destroy your current relationship with your wife/girlfriend. To be to much emotionally invested can also happen if you are starting to date a woman. We need to put our emotions towards the right people in out life.
If you cheat...how are you handling your emotions? Are you thinking about your wife/girlfriend when you have sex with the other women?
- This is an genuine question because I have not been cheating (ever).
This is only a thought experiment:
Let us say that you have a woman at home, a girlfriend or wife. And you meet another woman at the gym. This woman is highly promiscuous and she's willing to have sex with you this same day (first time you meet her).
- What does this do to your relationship with your wife/girlfriend?
This is the case:
The more women you have sex with at the same time, the less value women in your life will have for you. You will start to loose your sense of confidence (your EGO will take over)...because you cheat every woman in your life. In the moment you feel good about it, because your EGO gets a boost every time you have sex with a new woman. But in the long run this behavior will destroy you from the inside. You do not care about all these woman's emotions or how they feel about this behavior of yours. You are only thinking about yourself.
We continue on this thought experiment...Let us say that you find another woman as well. You now have 3 different women that you have sex with on a regular basis (your girlfriend is still at home and cooking food for you). You go behind their backs, everyone of them. They do not know about each other...you now have to start lying to each and every one of them, in order to not revel what you are doing. You are a SIMP/a weak man! (no judgment, just stating facts).
If the women would know about each other, it would be a different situation, then you would be 100% true to yourself and others.
But in this situation you are not. When you start cheating yourself and others around you...it's a downward spiral. Will you start to cheat others as well (not just women)? Your sense of moral judgment gets washed out, you start to loose yourself. Who are you?
This is a picture of the downward spiral that can
start to happen, when you cheat in your life (cheating others and yourself).
View attachment 1834269
- Do you think this behavior and this type of situation will be good for you (situation above)? You will start lying to yourself and others around you? What happens if you are talking in your sleep, and are mentioning these women's names in your sleep? Sooner or later everything will end...as @DLD said...you will be alone.
Maybe not physically (just get new women?)...but you will be alone emotionally. A woman have lost her value to you. For you a woman is now an object just to put your dick inside...you treat them like crap...after you are done with her you discard her?...you go to the next one?... and this circle will continue.
Again: What are you looking for, if you feel the need to cheat with your woman?
If you are not content with your relationship, you should end it before looking for someone new. You need to be emotional invested with people around you, otherwise what is the point with meaningless sex?
How do you control STD's? Because you will for sure get one sooner or later, even if you wear protection.
* This was my thoughts about this concept of: Cheating.
* Keep in mind that the text above I wrote is only some speculations and theories about what can happen, it's purpose is not to judge anyone.
Just my thoughts on the subject.
Kind regards.
Attachments
Jiko Kaizen
Banned for life
@squirt_inducer_man - I love Jordan Peterson way of thinking. I learn something new every time I listen to him
Thanks for your elaborate therapeutic answer...in all fairest I did request your individual answer, I just didn't expect it be so clincial.
After reading your short Mental Health Medical Journal and your Life experience. People have numerous excuses for cheating on another person(s), emotionally or physically. They are chasing some emotional fulfillment that person can't give them and usually from an unaware paradigm they have mentally embedded since childhood. What you are describing is behavior influenced by outside forces due to one's self-image, and one's self-belief system and everntually made their own life unmanagable, putting everyone's else's needs over their own.
Best to you on your Co-Dependency Recovery
Thanks for your elaborate therapeutic answer...in all fairest I did request your individual answer, I just didn't expect it be so clincial.
After reading your short Mental Health Medical Journal and your Life experience. People have numerous excuses for cheating on another person(s), emotionally or physically. They are chasing some emotional fulfillment that person can't give them and usually from an unaware paradigm they have mentally embedded since childhood. What you are describing is behavior influenced by outside forces due to one's self-image, and one's self-belief system and everntually made their own life unmanagable, putting everyone's else's needs over their own.
Best to you on your Co-Dependency Recovery
squirt_inducer_man
(SIM)
I go deep into the rabbit hole.... that's what I do.
View attachment 1834271
I have a hard time just leaving people when they need help...I need to help them get back up...after that I will pull away from them. I'm to kind, but I need to be that right now.
Thank you for your answer, I really appreciate that.
Take care of yourself.
Attachments
squirt_inducer_man
(SIM)
Same here. You always learn from that man. But not always I understand everything he's saying immediately.