Hey guys!
I have a problem with my girlfriend. We're together for about half a year and we already had sex. We're living apart, so it happens we couldn't see each other for a couple of months. I'm about to see her again and now she told me that she considers pre-marital sex as wrong and doesn't want us to do it anymore...
Listen, I really love this girl so I kind of promised to keep my hands off her. But I consider sex a very important part of every relationship and I think it's totally stupid to suppress it.
It happens that I'm an atheist while she's christian. Can you guys give me some arguments to convince her that pre-marital sex isn't a sin???
 
she's ignorrant. tell her to think for herself rather than have a book tell her what to do.


(this doesn't mean im baggin religion or god or etc blar blar)

hold on, now im gonna go on a rant.

if a bible tells us what to do, and a science book tells us what to think, then there is absolutly nothing for us to achieve in our life.


so, think for yourself.
 
Respect her morals and values. It's the best thing you can do for her. It's not all about sex. There's more to life. :)

It's not about a book, it's about her morals and her values. She is not ignorant, actually she is making an intelligent decision.
 
Shit I've been in the exact same situation. The relationship lasted a year longer but slowly declined after she had her religious moment. Not only was there no sex, but no touching, seeing each other naked, even making out kind of disappeared after a while. I really did love her too but I couldn't handle what seemed like just being friends who kissed occasionally. Then she got upset when I broke up with her even tho she knew she was distancing herself from me. AHHHHHH women... We also had different views on religion. She was Christian and I could care less because I don't believe in the supernatural so we argued about that a lot.
 
if a bible tells us what to do, and a science book tells us what to think, then there is absolutly nothing for us to achieve in our life.


so, think for yourself.
Science tells us the way things are (gravity etc). Go jump off a building c'mon! Don't let science tell you what to think, gravity is a farce!

Honestly. The Bible tells you the right/moral way to live, science tells you the way the universe and the things inside it are, but you always have opinion.
 
thanx guys.
thing is I'll visit her for some weeks and of course we'll share a bed... Can you imagine how hard that'll be???
I'm afraid that the frustration will make us have fights and stuff.
thing is if I tell her that a relationship without sex doesn't make sense to me (call it a friendship then), she'll be thinking I'm only out for sex...
Aren't there any christians out there who can give me some bible quotes or whatever? <:(
 
Pharaoh said:
...now she told me that she considers pre-marital sex as wrong and doesn't want us to do it anymore...

It seems like if you guys were having sex before, then apart, then not having sex now, something must have convinced her that what she was doing was wrong. Was she talking to someone about the sex? Also how frequently were you having sex before and did she seem comfortable with it?
 
Cybershot said:
It seems like if you guys were having sex before, then apart, then not having sex now, something must have convinced her that what she was doing was wrong. Was she talking to someone about the sex? Also how frequently were you having sex before and did she seem comfortable with it?

well, I know she joined a new bible group or whatever. so it might be that she changed her mind due to discussions with them. Anyway, I hope I can change her mind when we finally meet. Maybe the passion will overcome her... rofl
We had sex frequently, but sometimes she told me that she felt guilty.
 
She sounds kinda brainwashed by Jehovas witnesses.
Get her a some book that is about the religion sex and she become obsessed with that instead. :D
 
Do anal with her. Seriously. When Taylor Rain was younger and still a virgin she was afraid to have sex cause she thought it would be wrong, I think her parents were religious, so her boyfriend "taught" her that anal sex wasn't losing her virginity and they did it.
 
Jason1 said:
Do anal with her. Seriously. When Taylor Rain was younger and still a virgin she was afraid to have sex cause she thought it would be wrong, I think her parents were religious, so her boyfriend "taught" her that anal sex wasn't losing her virginity and they did it.

LOL she ain't a adult entertainment star and she's not a virgin anymore. but it might become my last resort...
 
This happened to my girlfriend and I. Do you love her? I did. I said ok, as hard as it's going to be for me I'm willing to wait for you. Whoever said that you need to respect her is absolutely right. Don't try to change her mind overtly.

Now, with that being said - you CAN break her of this without looking like you are trying to. You know her better than anyone. Appeal to what turns her on without making it look like you are begging for sex. Touch her as sexually and sensualy as possibly without going for the tits or between the legs. Sure, get close. Tell her all the things she does that turn you on. She DOES want to turn you on, whether or not she thinks she wants to have sex with you. Be sweet, kind, understanding, and sexy as fuck. Don't let her see you get discouraged if it doesn't work automatically. The worst thing you can do is look desperate and like you are trying to beg for it.
 
Pharaoh said:
It happens that I'm an atheist while she's christian. Can you guys give me some arguments to convince her that pre-marital sex isn't a sin???

And guy, if I didn't make it crystal clear DO NOT TRY TO CONVINCE HER OTHERWISE. Do not.
 
I'm not going to offer my religious views, if you're interested in that you can read other threads I've posted (don't want to start any flaming or anything :D).

But, one thing to consider is this: if you convince her to have sex with you, after the fact she will feel like you made her compromise her beliefs. That isn't a good position to be in. Since she is taking such a stand about this issue (which is a very difficult thing to do, especially if it's completely contrary to what she formerly believed), it's obviously very important to her, and what you need to do is support her 100%. Trying to change her morals isn't a good position to put yourself in, because it will eventually make her resent you (coming from someone who has been in her shoes).
 
There are alot of things to think about when this situation comes up.

1) You cant change a person if they truly believe in something.

2) Even if you do change them, that means that they truly didnt believe in what they thought they did. Unfortunately in this situation it will make you out to be the bad guy and she wont feel respected and then not respect you.
Lack of respect equals end of relationship.

3) Is it possible she might be using this to push you away? She must know of your atheist views, therefore using religion ideas to distance herself from you.

All of these are things to think about. Alot of times religious beliefs push people apart, instead of pulling people together. It is unfotunate but like mentioned before dont try to change her views. If you love her you have only a couple of options left.

1 Let this pass. As fast as it came it may leave just as fast.
2 Wait by her side until you get married.
3 Or end the relationship.

Good luck man...
 
wow!
thanx a lot for all of your advise! I'm stunned how much you guys are trying to help me.

First of all, I love this girl like crazy. That's the reason why I'm together with her even though we hardly see each other. I think she's the right one, so I wouldn't leave her for such a reason.
what is different from the situation some of you have been in: we already had sex! so it will be incredibly hard to stay cool. I know I'll get frustrated. I just have to think of the smell of her punani and I get crazy... :O

anyway, this is a Penis Enlargement-forum as well: I started Penis Enlargement in the meantime and I'm just dying to find out if she'll realize my gains... guess y'all are feeling me...


jakb said:
3) Is it possible she might be using this to push you away? She must know of your atheist views, therefore using religion ideas to distance herself from you.
no way, she's just told me that I'm the perfect man for her.

jakb said:
If you love her you have only a couple of options left.

1 Let this pass. As fast as it came it may leave just as fast.
2 Wait by her side until you get married.
3 Or end the relationship.

Good luck man...

Let's say no 2 then :)
 
AlloyCG said:
Now, with that being said - you CAN break her of this without looking like you are trying to. You know her better than anyone. Appeal to what turns her on without making it look like you are begging for sex. Touch her as sexually and sensualy as possibly without going for the tits or between the legs. Sure, get close. Tell her all the things she does that turn you on. She DOES want to turn you on, whether or not she thinks she wants to have sex with you. Be sweet, kind, understanding, and sexy as fuck. Don't let her see you get discouraged if it doesn't work automatically. The worst thing you can do is look desperate and like you are trying to beg for it.

Alright, I agree it won't make sense to change her mind. But I'll definately try this out... :cool:
 
bud if she is everything you say she is to you, keep this in mind. Good things come to those who wait. It is a fact bro 90% of all the christian and non-religious women I have met that have waited till after marriage are usually sex-aholics. plus if you press the issue you will be pushing her away. And think if getting some booty is worth losing this girl you say you love. weigh it carefully because if you press it, and she is serious about her position you will lose her.
 
Stuff_ said:
Respect her morals and values. It's the best thing you can do for her. It's not all about sex. There's more to life. :)

It's not about a book, it's about her morals and her values. She is not ignorant, actually she is making an intelligent decision.

it's not her morals, its the bible's morals.
 
Shithead said:
it's not her morals, its the bible's morals.
They're my morals, and I'm not Christian. So they can be her morals as well. Not everything is a nicely packaged stereotype. ;)
 
I agree. And even though she gets her moral standard from the Bible doesn't mean that she is forced to accept those morals. She chose to subscribe to that moral code, so yes, they are her morals, and not just the Bible's.
 
Actually, if you want to be Old Testament Biblical, you are already married. As soon as a man has sex with a woman, they are considered married in God's eyes. All you two are really waiting on is the paperwork to go through! ;)

Being a Christian man, I have to confess that I had pre-marital sex with my wife. She wanted it and I wanted it. I loved her very much and felt married to her when I made love to her. It was the first time I really MEANT it, even though I was still pretty crazy back then.

My wife came from a very religious background. Her parents had a cow when they found out we were living together. I did not come from a religious background. I was extremely wild in my youth and came to my religious beliefs very late. I am still EXTREMELY liberal. I think my wife considers me her heathen husband most of the time.

I think you should respect her moral stand on this issue and cherish her for it. At least you know she's not out fucking some other guy on the sly. Although my wife drives me crazy sometimes with her more conservative religious views, I can at least trust her to have respect for our marriage and for me. That's more than I can say for some other women I have known.
 
Pharaoh said:
Hey guys!
I have a problem with my girlfriend. We're together for about half a year and we already had sex. We're living apart, so it happens we couldn't see each other for a couple of months. I'm about to see her again and now she told me that she considers pre-marital sex as wrong and doesn't want us to do it anymore...
Listen, I really love this girl so I kind of promised to keep my hands off her. But I consider sex a very important part of every relationship and I think it's totally stupid to suppress it.
It happens that I'm an atheist while she's christian. Can you guys give me some arguments to convince her that pre-marital sex isn't a sin???
PHAROAH
i'm not sayin' you should disregard your girls religious beliefs but you guys have already opened "pandoras box" so as far as not havin' premarital sex thats already been done.
you say sex is a very important part of a relationship(i agree,bigtime)
when you 2 had sex,how was it? great? good? mediocre? lousy?
if it was great,then maybe she could wait.but i dont know too many women that want to wait for great sex.(and its been 2 months anyway)
if it was good it could prob be improved upon over time.
if it was mediocre,or lousy then i think you would be insane to wait any longer to "see if it will work out " after marriage.on paper marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.you would be pretty pissed off and bummed out if you married this girl and found out you guys were sexualy incompatible.i could go on,and on about this,but i think i got the message out.
i hate to use this old cliche,but you wouldnt buy a car without drivin' it,so why would you want to enter into a long term commitment if you do not even know if you are sexualy compatible?.......you could always get a girlfriend/mistress,but if you did that then why bother bein' married?
 
WNT2MORE said:
PHAROAH
i'm not sayin' you should disregard your girls religious beliefs but you guys have already opened "pandoras box" so as far as not havin' premarital sex thats already been done.
you say sex is a very important part of a relationship(i agree,bigtime)
when you 2 had sex,how was it? great? good? mediocre? lousy?
if it was great,then maybe she could wait.but i dont know too many women that want to wait for great sex.(and its been 2 months anyway)
if it was good it could prob be improved upon over time.
if it was mediocre,or lousy then i think you would be insane to wait any longer to "see if it will work out " after marriage.on paper marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.you would be pretty pissed off and bummed out if you married this girl and found out you guys were sexualy incompatible.i could go on,and on about this,but i think i got the message out.
i hate to use this old cliche,but you wouldnt buy a car without drivin' it,so why would you want to enter into a long term commitment if you do not even know if you are sexualy compatible?.......you could always get a girlfriend/mistress,but if you did that then why bother bein' married?

that's a very good point. I would never marry a girl without having had sex. thank god, we already did it and it was quite good. she wasn't experienced at all, so it simply couldn't be spectacular. and after we had sex she sometimes told me that she felt guilty, so obviously she couldn't enjoy the sex completely. but we were definately compatible.
I think we were on a good way, it was getting better all the time.

I feel responsible to let all of you know how things develop since you're all taking part in this.
I was quite frustrated yesterday so I called her. I didn't try to change her mind but I was stupid enough to complain about her decision. It pissed her off and the one guy who said that it would make her push me away was definately right...
anyway, I just talked to her and apologized. I told her that I respect and ACCEPT her decision and that I will wait. She was overwhelmed and couldn't stop thanking me...
I think without you guys advise I would have indeed tried to change her decision, which would have been disastrous.
I'll see her in three weeks and I'll let you know what happened after I come back...
 
Stuff_ said:
Respect her morals and values. It's the best thing you can do for her. It's not all about sex. There's more to life. :)

It's not about a book, it's about her morals and her values. She is not ignorant, actually she is making an intelligent decision.

couldnt have said it better myself
 
what I'd like to know from the guys who've been in similar situations:
what do girls who don't want sex before marriage usually think about petting?

do you think I'll at least get a hand- or a blowjob??? :blush:
just did my Penis Enlargement session and I'm horny man...
 
My advice is to back away from the sex. She is right. Premarital sex is a sin. Even if you dont belive that...she does. If you really love her like you say, then do what she asks of you. Also think of the long term effects on your relationship if you get married. She will want to go to church...do you? Will you for her? Would she quit church or push her religious views away for you? If so, would you both resent it later? As a married man, these are some things you will want to know the answer to. Dont take advantage of her. A true loving relationship sometimes involves putting your wants aside for the other person. I think you know the right answer to this.
 
flair1981 said:
My advice is to back away from the sex. She is right. Premarital sex is a sin. Even if you dont belive that...she does. If you really love her like you say, then do what she asks of you. Also think of the long term effects on your relationship if you get married. She will want to go to church...do you? Will you for her? Would she quit church or push her religious views away for you? If so, would you both resent it later? As a married man, these are some things you will want to know the answer to. Dont take advantage of her. A true loving relationship sometimes involves putting your wants aside for the other person. I think you know the right answer to this.


we talked about that. I wouldn't go to church, she wouldn't quit. respecting each other, that's it.
but I think there are indeed problems that I don't think of right now, but will occur later on.
think of upbringing and stuff...
anyway, I think we're not the only couple who face that problem, it might be hard but I'm sure it's possible to live together.
 
I want to say that it seems a good number of the guys on this forum say the word love a lot and don't seem to understand the true meaning. True love is unconditional, meaning it has no bounds. If this young woman wants to not have sex then you should love her anyway. Sex does not have to be a part of a relationship, it happens to be that us guys decide how we feel based on what we get in return. You can tell me I'm wrong all day, but I have been where you are, and it's rough, but you know what I cared about her, I didn't love her I loved her for what she did for me, and I guised it as love so that it would be ok for me to do what "people who love each other do". It's not right. You can say what you want, but read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You may not believe but if you read what it says it is the true picture of love. Genuine caring, protection, provision, and passion. Think about it. Which one of the qualities mentioned would you not want in your future wife???

Also for those who don't believe I will point out the fact that Christ fulfilled 332 prophecies, and each and every book that contains any prophecy occurs no later than 1000 years before His birth, as verified by several of the governing historical bodies. That's a discussion we had in my world history class, the 4 gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have been found to be 99.9% accurate by academic standards. This standard has also been verified by archaeological digs, which found all locations descirbed specifically in Matt. and John which seemed to be conflicting, were proven to not be conflicting but the same place. For those who want to persue any of this info I suggest buying or borrowing a copy of The Case for Christ. For anyone who ascribes the label of good moral teacher to Christ think on this, He claimed to be GOD. You can't be a moral teacher if you're 1. Crazy 2. A liar 3. GOD...of all the things Christ was put through which of these seems to be more likely....if you look at the evidence you can only come to one conclusion, but that's up to you.
 
Jesus never claimed to be God.. but that's besides the point. There are books which give prophecies that were fullfilled written since at least 3000 years before his birth.. but that's besides the point. I'm not trying to start a religious debate or anything.. just wanted to point that out. The point is what you said about love is true, real love isn't related at all to sex. That's important to remember, sex is a material thing and real love is not material. Ultimately perfect love is love soley for God Himself, and that is the perfection and purpose of life. :)
 
millionman said:
I want to say that it seems a good number of the guys on this forum say the word love a lot and don't seem to understand the true meaning. True love is unconditional, meaning it has no bounds. If this young woman wants to not have sex then you should love her anyway. Sex does not have to be a part of a relationship, it happens to be that us guys decide how we feel based on what we get in return..
i gotta disagree with those of you that think sexual compatibility is trivial,or unimportant,and that sex does not have to be part of a relationship etc.
granted there is a big difference between being IN LOVE ,or IN LUST.being in lust is when the sex you are having with her makes you THINK that you are in love,but when you ARE in love the sex you have is one of the most basic,truest forms of GIVING yourself to her,and her to you. there is a special connection that 2 people in love share through sex which goes beyond just the physical pleasure.it is true that a relationship will not survive on sex alone,but it is also true that the relationship will not survive sexual incompatibility.the only reason most marriages prior to the 1960s lasted a lifetime was societys view of divorce.alot of unhappy couples stayed together because of this.
and while we are talking sex and religion, any of you people that are heavy into the church scene,and are in a sexualy incompatible relationship,dont worry there are 100s of preachers,pastors,and ministers that will be willing to satisfy a unhappy womans basic needs.
i am sure this post will piss a few people off,but this is my opinion and it took me nearly 43 years to form it. i UNDERSTAND the meaning of love,lust,and the difference between the two.i also understand that religion and those who preach it are not always what/who they appeasr to be.
 
WNT2MORE said:
i gotta disagree with those of you that think sexual compatibility is trivial,or unimportant,and that sex does not have to be part of a relationship etc.
granted there is a big difference between being IN LOVE ,or IN LUST.being in lust is when the sex you are having with her makes you THINK that you are in love,but when you ARE in love the sex you have is one of the most basic,truest forms of GIVING yourself to her,and her to you. there is a special connection that 2 people in love share through sex which goes beyond just the physical pleasure.it is true that a relationship will not survive on sex alone,but it is also true that the relationship will not survive sexual incompatibility.the only reason most marriages prior to the 1960s lasted a lifetime was societys view of divorce.alot of unhappy couples stayed together because of this.
and while we are talking sex and religion, any of you people that are heavy into the church scene,and are in a sexualy incompatible relationship,dont worry there are 100s of preachers,pastors,and ministers that will be willing to satisfy a unhappy womans basic needs.
i am sure this post will piss a few people off,but this is my opinion and it took me nearly 43 years to form it. i UNDERSTAND the meaning of love,lust,and the difference between the two.i also understand that religion and those who preach it are not always what/who they appeasr to be.

I agree 1000 %, couldn't have said it better!
 
See I think there are a few that confuse religion, which is man made with faith. and yes Christ claimed to be God, he Said I come from the one who sent me, putting him on equal footing with God, he also said I am Alpha and Omega, again putting him on the same level with God. That is claiming to be God. I have to agree with you, being sexually compatible is neccessary for a relationship to be healthy, as God created sex for us to enjoy, and in the Song of Songs King Solomon and his wife discuss in great depth their passion for one another and also their enjoyment of each other. So yes sex is important in marriage. There's a lot of divorce in this country because of the lack of understanding of what true love is. The rate of divorce in the church is higher than in the secular world, which means that God's people aren't waiting for His best, or the majority of those in Church aren't true believers in Christ. There's a big difference between religion and faith, religion says this is what you do to get or achieve something, faith says I don't have to see to believe and being faithful is also having intimate contact with Christ.

On another note, if a woman or man are unequally yoked together there can be no relationship. If one is Christian and the other atheist, it will not work. In any relationship there must be shared and equal footing, that does not mean being the exact same, but being a help mate for each other it is neccessary to be equally yoked together, no one pulling any more or less than the other.
 
For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, He gave me a command, what I should say, and what I should speak. And I know that His command is life everlasting: therefore I speak, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.
(John 12:49-50)
But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.
(John 14:31)
In the two verses above, God commands Jesus. If Jesus was God, nobody could command him. Moreover, Jesus says that he loves God. Love necessarily requires two parties; the lover and the beloved.
Not trying to start an arguement or anything, but "I come from the one who sent me" means that someone sent him, someone who is separate from him, that person was God. I don't want to get too off topic here though, or offend anyone. I'm sorry if I already have.

It is entirely possible to love someone to the purest degree, with all of your soul, without the slightest bit of sexual contact. We just associate everything materially because that's what we know, but there is nothing inherently wrong with that. The body desires sex, so naturally we want it. In the end the individual makes their own decisions and enjoys/suffers the results, so it's all good. :)
 
You have quoted corrctly, but you aren't looking at the entire verse. In John verse 44 Christ begins by saying "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes should stay in darkness." yes he is saying the one who sent me, but he is also saying and claiming to be God, to be taken from darkness to light is to forgive sins, and only God can forgive sins. How about John 14:6 "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by me. If you really knew me you would know my father as well. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him." He is again putting himself on the level with God by saying he is the only way to God, again the only one capable for forgiving sins is God. At the sametime the end of the verse He points out that if you knew me you would also know the Father, meaning they are one and the same. Then He goes one step further for clarity He says from now on you know Him and have seen Him, because they know Christ and could look at Christ they have also seen God.

Now, I am not trying to simply argue with you, or to prove you wrong. I am simply wanting to show to anyone who does not know or has never read for themselves anything Christ said or have ever wondered about who he really was, that you might see that he did indeed claim diety and he died so that we may live, and that he rose again on the third day.

Ohh, for anyone who wants to know I am not a church person, I was not raised in the church and I don't ascribe to some of the practices of the church. I love Christ, and I have come to know Him by thorugh reading and analysis. The facts are what they are, you have the ability to make the choice. The greatest decision I have ever made was to come into contact with Him. I share this because I love you guys.
 
millionman said:
If one is Christian and the other atheist, it will not work. In any relationship there must be shared and equal footing, that does not mean being the exact same, but being a help mate for each other it is neccessary to be equally yoked together, no one pulling any more or less than the other.

I think you can't generalize things like this. There are couples living together happily until death without sharing the same belief.
 
millionman said:
For anyone who ascribes the label of good moral teacher to Christ think on this, He claimed to be GOD. You can't be a moral teacher if you're 1. Crazy 2. A liar 3. GOD...of all the things Christ was put through which of these seems to be more likely....if you look at the evidence you can only come to one conclusion, but that's up to you.

Someone's been reading CS Lewis! Good stuff.

WNT2MORE said:
i also understand that religion and those who preach it are not always what/who they appeasr to be.

What's your point? Are religious people the only ones that are hypocrites? Everyone is a hypocrite, so what are you trying to say? Same with your "there are 100s of preachers" thing. There are thousands of men that would be willing to have sex with other men's wives, religious and not. So what's your point? The only point I can see in this statement is that there are men that would be willing to have sex with other men's wives. Sexual incompatibility has nothing to do with a lack of premarital sex. What I mean is, just because I haven't slept with my fiance yet doesn't mean that we won't have amazing sex when we get married, and I'd be willing to bet we'll be screwing like rabbits long after the couple that had sex often before marriage.

Pharaoh said:
I think you can't generalize things like this. There are couples living together happily until death without sharing the same belief.

This may be. But if she reads the Bible thoroughly, she'll find a verse that says:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)

Now, she may or may not decide to adhere to that verse. After all, it could be taken either literally, or as one man's (the Apostle Paul's) opinion.

I think this is what millionman was referring to when he made that statement.
 
True....Cyclops I was looking for that verse, and it was a struggle. I know it by heart but not the book and chapter. On the same token there is the parable of two masters, you can serve and love one, but can only hate the other. The reason for this is you can not be a follower in Christ and stand for the things of the world. Everyone says Christ was a good teacher and he taught love and caring etc., but that's only part of the picture, Christ like God hated sin. He stood against everything the world stands for, simply because Satan has dominion over the world, and there is no righteousness in it. You honestly can't expect two completely different outlooks/philosophies to function together, because at some point the two will clash and cancel each other out, and leave only frustration anger and bitterness.
 
9cyclops9 said:
What I mean is, just because I haven't slept with my fiance yet doesn't mean that we won't have amazing sex when we get married, and I'd be willing to bet we'll be screwing like rabbits long after the couple that had sex often before marriage.

I truly hope you will, but you just don't know for SURE.


9cyclops9 said:
Now, she may or may not decide to adhere to that verse.
millionman said:
You honestly can't expect two completely different outlooks/philosophies to function together, because at some point the two will clash and cancel each other out, and leave only frustration anger and bitterness.

That's when love comes into play...
 
Honestly, I don't think you understand what it is that we are saying. Love as you see it is something that you feel. We are talking about love as a choice. Examply of this is God's love for us. It's never ending, it's always there, and we need not doubt it. The love you have described so far in your post says I need assurance of how you will perform and make me feel so that I can give you my love. God doesn't as us to do anything for His love, it's a free gift of grace give in the form of His one and only Son. Now what Cyclops is talking about is trusting in Him and knowing that God is watching over their relationship and keeping them for each other because they will have amazing and glorifying relations together, one that will be everything that they both desire, which follows along with Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given, seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened to you. For anyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks the door opened." At many points in my walk with Christ I have prayed for the woman I will spend the rest of my life with, and I know God will provide that in everyway. There is no doubt or unbelief, just knowing and trusting God. God won't let cyclops down, or anyone else for that matter, he holds up his end eternally.
 
I didnt read page 2 or last part of page 1 where I am sure it "got out of control" but...

That's when love comes into play...
Dude no. I cant tell you how many times my pastor asked our congregation to pray for a lady or a man who's spouse was not Christian and they wanted to have kids, but were at controversy knowing even if they agreed to bring em up Christian the spouse would not be setting an example.

Also praying they will come to believe, and to pray for the relationship as it is falling apart.

ANYWAYS, the Bible says to not be "unequally yoked", meaning do not marry non-believers. If she believes the Bible says do not have premarital sex she should believe this one. No offense, but it wont work, and I am not here to doom you, just telling you how it has happened countless times.

And you can know the sex will be good. Oddly I can tell with my sister and the man she is going to marry, both who have remained abstinant all their lives and to each other. One of the biggest reasons for getting married besides they are madly in love and perfect for each other. You can tell the way they act.
 
For starters marriage is about compromise. You say you say you will not go to church with her, and she will not follow you athesist ways. Man I hate to bust your bubble but you are both in for a rude awakening. When companions agree on such basic issues marriage is tough. To disagree from the beginning .... man i can't even imagine that.
 
9cyclops9 said:
What's your point? Are religious people the only ones that are hypocrites? Everyone is a hypocrite, so what are you trying to say? Same with your "there are 100s of preachers" thing. There are thousands of men that would be willing to have sex with other men's wives, religious and not. So what's your point? The only point I can see in this statement is that there are men that would be willing to have sex with other men's wives. Sexual incompatibility has nothing to do with a lack of premarital sex.
LMAO BIGTIME!
yeah,alot of other men could/would fuck your wife or girlfriend,but they arent using the bible and the word of god to get into the pants of a vunerable woman,and if you think this doesnt happen(ALOT!) then u are living in a fantasy world.i'm not sayin they all are,there are alot of good preachers(more good than bad) etc.but there are plenty of bad ones.my beef with the church is when they catch these slimeballs they just "ENCOURAGE" them to move to another parish.when doctors ,or other types that people place their faith in get caught doin this shit,THEY GET PROSECUTED"

9cyclops9 said:
What I mean is, just because I haven't slept with my fiance yet doesn't mean that we won't have amazing sex when we get married, and I'd be willing to bet we'll be screwing like rabbits long after the couple that had sex often before marriage.
THERE ARE MANY COMBINATIONS THAT YOU CAN ROLL WITH DICE,MAYBE YOU WILL ROLL A 7,GOOD LUCK
 
WNT2MORE said:
LMAO BIGTIME!
yeah,alot of other men could/would fuck your wife or girlfriend,but they arent using the bible and the word of god to get into the pants of a vunerable woman,and if you think this doesnt happen(ALOT!) then u are living in a fantasy world.i'm not sayin they all are,there are alot of good preachers(more good than bad) etc.but there are plenty of bad ones.my beef with the church is when they catch these slimeballs they just "ENCOURAGE" them to move to another parish.when doctors ,or other types that people place their faith in get caught doin this shit,THEY GET PROSECUTED"

You're confusing Catholicism with Christianity. Catholicism is ONE BRANCH of Christianity, not the whole thing. Corruption like you speak of happens far more often in Catholicism than in Protestant denominations because Catholic priests aren't allowed to marry. Protestant pastors are. Catholic priests have bottled up sexual desires because they aren't permitted to release them. So they are much more likely to try to take advantage of someone in the situation you've described. Most protestant pastors have wives, so they have no suppressed sex drives screaming to get released.

But I'll say it again. There is corruption in EVERY group of people. Why do you look down on Christians so much for it, but when I mention that other people are the same you just blow it off? Why does it matter whether they use the word of God or if they use money, a position (screwing the boss for a promotion), or any other method? Is one way any more wrong than any other? Why do you look down on pastors who would take advantage of sexually frustrated women more than you look down on any other guy doing the same thing? And I think you're mistaken. Pastors and priests get prosecuted for this stuff too.

I have 100% confidence that we will be sexually compatible when we get married. Assume for a minute God exists. I don't know if you believe He does or not, but assume. Say you go to buy a new car and God tells you "WNT2MORE, you will love this car. This is a car that you can drive for the rest of your life and be happy about it." Don't you think you would trust him on that? Assuming that God is the all-knowing creator that I believe Him to be, I think you could take his advice and buy the car without a test drive.

Now. I believe 100% that my fiance is the person God has set aside for me to marry. I believe he is telling me "Cyclops, this girl is perfect for you. This is a girl you an spend the rest of your life with and be totally satisfied with her and never have to look anywhere else for satisfaction of any kind." I'll trust Him on that one, and I don't need a test drive.
 
millionman said:
At many points in my walk with Christ I have prayed for the woman I will spend the rest of my life with, and I know God will provide that in everyway. There is no doubt or unbelief, just knowing and trusting God. God won't let cyclops down, or anyone else for that matter, he holds up his end eternally.

god never lets anybody down, right?
wasn't it you who wrote that there are higher divorce rates in church?

C-Guy said:
For starters marriage is about compromise. You say you say you will not go to church with her, and she will not follow you athesist ways. Man I hate to bust your bubble but you are both in for a rude awakening. When companions agree on such basic issues marriage is tough. To disagree from the beginning .... man i can't even imagine that.

I don't know if I get your point. isn't the "no church-no atheist way-thing" a compromise?

anyway, have you ever thought of couples who share different believes? that CAN work out as well and that raises way more problems than a believer and a non-believer ever will encounter.

WNT2MORE said:
GOOD LUCK MAN,I HOPenis Enlargement THINGS WORK OUT FOR YA!
Thanx bro!
 
I know I start writing off topic as well. anway, what I'd like to add to the divorce rate thing:

don't you think all couples (apart from certain examples) think that they found THE one? so how come the rate in church is higher?
I tell you why:
If you don't live together beforehand, if you don't have sex, than you just don't REALLY know the other person. you think you do, but you don't.
If you live a wordly life, you might have a couple of relationships before you get married. but this helps you to find out what you really want, what you are looking for in a girl. and you don't have these relationships because you want to have a few ones. no, every time you think that she's the one. but it might take you years to find out if you are compatible or not. So I think it's incredibly naive to marry a girl you couldn't really get to know. that can give you a rude awakening as well!
Some of you tell me about TRUE love and even question my love. how do you know? I take advise from a married man like kong, but not from someone who's never lived it.
I have already been engaged and I have seen how love can blossom and how love can fade. I know what love is man. We didn't break up because we had sex or lived together for some years. It simply took us 2 years (which were wonderful most of the time) to find out that we are incompatible. What if I had married her before? I'd be among the divorce rate myself. And believe me, I felt she was the one.
 
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