Gone since Jan 8th - what did I miss?

Hi gang! I've been gone for two weeks and wanted to catch up on some highlights since I've been away from the forum. Been sitting on the beach watching all the scenery walk by and working on my tan.
Thanks all!
 
pecsofsteel;412936 said:
I misplaced my penis a couple of weeks ago, but later found it underneath the couch.

That happens to me all the time, I bought a Clapper so now I clap twice and my dick starts beeping.
 
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