I have read articles about how men and women end up in the same relationships with the same kind of people throughout their lives. Whether it is being with a girl who is shy or outgoing, or being with a bad boy or a shy guy. I'm 22 and while I'm young I have found myself in severely unhappy relationships, and have a very bad view of women as a result. The kind of girl I always attract and fall for are the girls who had a bad relationship with their father, and are party girls, that drink a lot and sleep with a lot of dudes. My last girl was like this, and the current girl I've known and am hooking up with is wild and has had sex with over 14 dudes (she's 20). What a slut! anyways, how do I stop attracting these girls (they came on to me first)? Every girl I've dated or known has played guys and known how to attack the male ego. Are all women like this? Or are there nice girls with good relationship ideals out there? I'm losing faith here. I'm sure you guys know what I mean!
Attracting the wrong girls
Man, I really agree with what your saying- I seem to always attract the same kind of girls too- the weird thing Ive noticed too is that its not just personality wise, but I always hook up with brunettes- Ive hooked up with a lot of girls too- weird! The girls I usually hook up with are more mild than the ones you do- more nice girls. So to answer your question- no not all girls are like the ones your getting with. I dont know how to break the cycle though! Sorry ?
I feel you Meshuggah I'm almost exactly the same way. I seem to always attract only wild party slut type girls. There was one instance where I was genuinely interested in one for a relationship and she just wanted sex. That SUCKED! The only girl so far that I've attracted that wasn't a total bitch ended up being really messed up from a crazy childhood with drunken, crazy, low-life stepdads that her mother (who seriously was a slut, and apparently a prostitute at one time) would bring home to her children and marry. She actually was a pretty sweet girl, but she wanted to get married after like a month of dating and started talking about how cute she would look pregnant (She was 19 and I just turned 20). So in essence she was really mostly looking for a way out and away from her mom. Maybe after she's been on her own for awhile she'll level out but I don't know. I just couldn't handle the loads of other baggage I didn't mention, and her obsessive personality. Maybe its all part of finding out what kind of person we really want to be with for our future by getting exposed to what we really don't want. We're paying our dues and getting the bullshit out of the way so we can appreciate the one we really find to be the one later.
At least thats what I'm hoping. The problem could also lie with me in the type of women I attract. If so I'm still looking for what it is, the search continues.
At least thats what I'm hoping. The problem could also lie with me in the type of women I attract. If so I'm still looking for what it is, the search continues.
meshuggah said:
I'm sure there is still some out there, but I do think they're few and far between.
REDZULU2003
Well-known member
I've been rather lucky as I've had a mixture but for me now I'm 'hunting' in the workplace which is harder.
She's 10 years older than me, decent nice woman but its HARD to nail her .... unlike getting the usual girls I've had in the past.
I've recently been talking to family in Cyprus and Crete about woman
as I've been depressed recently about it all and they said to me its all about charm and making the woman or girl feel special and wanted. Body language, your image, your voice, the tone of voice and what you say will effect who you pull.
I have been told more, its a different game in Southern Europe than here in the North as they are CHARMERS with woman, luckily I have some of this but need to tweak it. Anyways I suggest you venture to places where the woman you want visit ... if you want more respectable woman than dont go into nightclubs. If you live near the beech than use that as a hunting round especially if you have freinds. Talk to the woman, use charm ... talk about her, FOCUS on her. Stay away from the usual common hunting grounds.
She's 10 years older than me, decent nice woman but its HARD to nail her .... unlike getting the usual girls I've had in the past.
I've recently been talking to family in Cyprus and Crete about woman
as I've been depressed recently about it all and they said to me its all about charm and making the woman or girl feel special and wanted. Body language, your image, your voice, the tone of voice and what you say will effect who you pull.I have been told more, its a different game in Southern Europe than here in the North as they are CHARMERS with woman, luckily I have some of this but need to tweak it. Anyways I suggest you venture to places where the woman you want visit ... if you want more respectable woman than dont go into nightclubs. If you live near the beech than use that as a hunting round especially if you have freinds. Talk to the woman, use charm ... talk about her, FOCUS on her. Stay away from the usual common hunting grounds.
Couldn't have said it better myself.......don't look for good girls in clubs......the chances you will find one there are slim. I know it's hard to think of a place you could meet women.....but the club isn't. What about a local online dating website. You might be surprised......it's more popular than ever to meet someone that way.
REDZULU2003 said:I've been rather lucky as I've had a mixture but for me now I'm 'hunting' in the workplace which is harder.
She's 10 years older than me, decent nice woman but its HARD to nail her .... unlike getting the usual girls I've had in the past.
I've recently been talking to family in Cyprus and Crete about woman
I have been told more, its a different game in Southern Europe than here in the North as they are CHARMERS with woman, luckily I have some of this but need to tweak it. Anyways I suggest you venture to places where the woman you want visit ... if you want more respectable woman than dont go into nightclubs. If you live near the beech than use that as a hunting round especially if you have freinds. Talk to the woman, use charm ... talk about her, FOCUS on her. Stay away from the usual common hunting grounds.
Chances are you will meet the right girl when you are not expecting it!
I went for a drink one night, cudnt be arsed going out, in a shit mood etc.. and by then end of the nite i met my current girlfriend. Dont go looking for it all the time, you will meet the right girl when you rnt expecting it!
Going to clubs and that, you are likely to meet girls who are just up for abit of fun or a one night relationship! the gym is a good place.
Also after having quite a few girls in the past...i would defo say go for a virgin if you can. You know they are respectalbe and dont shag around, and you can gain their trust and respect etc.
Hope it all goes well for ya!
I went for a drink one night, cudnt be arsed going out, in a shit mood etc.. and by then end of the nite i met my current girlfriend. Dont go looking for it all the time, you will meet the right girl when you rnt expecting it!
Going to clubs and that, you are likely to meet girls who are just up for abit of fun or a one night relationship! the gym is a good place.
Also after having quite a few girls in the past...i would defo say go for a virgin if you can. You know they are respectalbe and dont shag around, and you can gain their trust and respect etc.
Hope it all goes well for ya!
bIgjOe said:
I met a girl a few times in town and i liked her, one night my mate had a free house, and quite a few people stayed over. Gradually everyone started to go to bed and in the end iwas left talking to her.
One thing led to another, so we went into all the rooms and they were all full, so i was drunk and i wanted sex with her and so did she. So i thought sod this, went into the room where my mate was fast asleep and nailed her on there while my mate was asleep.
Neway.... Next min, im doin her doggy and look over and shes sucking my mates cock shile he was asleep, he wakes up... and we both fucked her all nite.
It was funny, but i did origianlly like this girl....what a slut!!! i couldnt believe it.... So for that reason i dont tend to look for a girlfriend in clubs lol
Go for a virgin - ha that's a laugh - most girls round here lose it before they are 16. All the ones that are half decent looking anyway. Lack of proper education, morals, ethics, and poor female role models I blame it on. The only virgins I know are Christians, and they're not gonna give it up till they get married.
meshuggah said:
Bro, I've been where you're at, and I've been hurt and messed up like you wouldn't believe. When I was reading your original post I was saying to myself "yep, yep, me, that's me, oh look, it's me again." My ex hurt me so badly that there ws actually a point where I was lying in bed curled up in the fetal position, dry-heaving trying to get the crap that she had told me and said to me out of me any way that I could (no sleep for me that night, obviously) - and no I'm not kidding.
I am now in a different place than that, thank God.
thoughts lead to>words lead to>actions>habits>character>destiny>legacy
You are the sum total of your input(visual, audible, association (family, friends, coworkers, peers, etc.)) and the choices that you have made thus far basded on the options that you've had.
I hope you're ready for some tough-love...
Tough lesson #1: It is not a coincidence that you keep attracting the same type of female. There is a reason for it. That reason is in you. For the most part, the vast majority of the time the people that we attract to us are very similar to us. Like attracts like. So as horrible and lame as you may think your exs are / were, if you look in the mirror, and if you're honest with yourself, you'll find the things that you didn't like in them ...in you. It's the old saying "when you point the finger at someone else you point four more back at you."
But there is hope. If you're willing to take responsibility for those things and put in the work to change them, which will in turn change you, you will attract different girls than the ones that you have been attracting. But it means that you will have to accept responsibility for things that you probably (if you're anything like most people) will not want to be responsible for. If you can be honest with yourself about who you are, himble yourself and accept responsibility, and then put in the work that it's going to take to change yourself, then you'll find yourself in a very small percentage of people. The longer you wait to change the harder it gets to change for alot of different reasons, so the sooner you change the easier it will be to make the change (it will never be any easier to make that change than it is right now - in fact it will only become more difficult the more time you let pass) and the sooner you will be attracting the kinds of girls that you want to attract.
You know why you have a bad view of women, right? It's because of your input up to this point. The good news is that it's nothing that subtracting the old sources of negative input and adding in new sources of positive input can't fix. How bad do you think your view of women will be when you've been dating your dream woman for six months or a year?
You mentioned that these girls came on to you first, and I don't doubt it.
It looks like you don't want the kind of girl that's going to come on to you first, and I don't blame you. If that's the case then shouldn't it be a red flag if a girl comes on to you first?
I assure you there are still nice girls with good morals and high standards and good relationship ideals. They can even be good-looking, too. I've met plenty after I had that last disastrous attempt at a relationship.
And if you want one all you have to do is:
1) Change yourself
2) Put yourself around them (where would they most likely be?)
To be Continued...(damn I'm tired)
Man you're lucky that you are getting some action. I can't believe you are complaning.
awd beast had some great points there.
I was a "best friend" slash "psychiatrist" for several years, and my best friend, a short fat asian dude who grew up in the states always ends up with these absolutely certifiable crazy chicks. Best thing to do, don't worry about getting with a girl and focus on improving yourself and your life and good things will happen.
I was a "best friend" slash "psychiatrist" for several years, and my best friend, a short fat asian dude who grew up in the states always ends up with these absolutely certifiable crazy chicks. Best thing to do, don't worry about getting with a girl and focus on improving yourself and your life and good things will happen.
Isn't it just sometimes so hard to turn down pussy? lmao. It's not necessarily as hard as you think it is to find the type of women you are looking for, you just need to know WHAT to look for. Churches, on-line etc... And young church girls are really as innocent or what not as you'd think or fear, give it a shot. Walking a cute little puppy on the beach is a GREAT way to pick up awesome attractive women, works like a charm and is an instant conversation starter, does half the work for you That's what I would do if I were still single....but I'm not, I'm 21 married and have a 10 month old daughter, lol...we're swingers also, lol.
That's what I would do if I were still single....but I'm not, I'm 21 married and have a 10 month old daughter, lol...we're swingers also, lol.meshuggah;215036 said:
First,
you have to finish the relationship with that "problem woman" you are hooking up with now, because, if you keep at it, it will only bring more problems.
You have to analize and judge women.
If a woman goes and aproach you, like you wrote, you have to check her out, and see if she's really good for you, if she's is worth it, then accept her and date her,
if she's a problem woman, then don't date her, forget her, and stay away from those woman.
there are some really nice girls out there, with good relationship ideals, you'll see.
One thing i want you to answer me is:
how good is your body language?
and
how well you dress?
these two things are basic in attracting women.
You not attracting the wrong women. You are just blinded by her beauty to see her for what she really is. You got to rid out the bad ones and re-enstate your draft. You must see if each girl qualifys to be your girlfriend. Hell, your still young... You don't need a relationship but, you do need pvssy! fvck the girls you attract and then, move on to the next one.
meshuggah;215036 said:
try meeting girls at more wholesome places. the quality of the place usually reflects the type of person, so if you want more nice girls, try going to new places doing new things, go take yoga classes, barnes and nobles, a library, museum, art gallery, starbucks...you know, every where you think a party girl wouldn't be at...
Someone posted the answer on the last page but I'm gonna expand a little bit on it.
The reason you attract the same type of girls is YOU. Not them, not some other reason but they are bringing to you what you need to see in order to improve yourself.
In my experience I've found out repeating cycles reflect the relationships that were modeled in our families and the way we related to them.
My example - my mother was very controlling and dominating; she was passive aggressive. My dad was very non-confrontational and would internalize his anger.
Guess what, I ended up like my dad and mostly attracted women like my mom. Go figure. Over time I figured this out and became more assertive and didn't hold the bullshit in. What do you know - I started to attract and be attracted to a different type of woman.
Usually one of two things happen - we become like one of our parents, or we reject the role model completely and go to the opposite extreme. No matter which way you cut it, it's based on our familial models. That's how we learn as children.
If your mom was wild, you'll equate love with wild women.
Healthy people don't attract unhealthy people. If you find yourself attracting women who you 'think' you don't want (subconsciously it's exactly the woman you want or need) then you need to change yourself. It's the only way.
The reason you attract the same type of girls is YOU. Not them, not some other reason but they are bringing to you what you need to see in order to improve yourself.
In my experience I've found out repeating cycles reflect the relationships that were modeled in our families and the way we related to them.
My example - my mother was very controlling and dominating; she was passive aggressive. My dad was very non-confrontational and would internalize his anger.
Guess what, I ended up like my dad and mostly attracted women like my mom. Go figure. Over time I figured this out and became more assertive and didn't hold the bullshit in. What do you know - I started to attract and be attracted to a different type of woman.
Usually one of two things happen - we become like one of our parents, or we reject the role model completely and go to the opposite extreme. No matter which way you cut it, it's based on our familial models. That's how we learn as children.
If your mom was wild, you'll equate love with wild women.
Healthy people don't attract unhealthy people. If you find yourself attracting women who you 'think' you don't want (subconsciously it's exactly the woman you want or need) then you need to change yourself. It's the only way.
stillwantmore
Well-known member
LOL, I love how to men it's "they're sluts" and we're the "studs". Sleep with more women until you reach "stud" status, then the "sluts" won't matter.
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