Jun 5, 2003
I am yet to lose my "V plates" and i am nearly 19, I am with a virgin (have been for 2 years nearly) she says she is ashamed of her body (but she is just a hottie!!) and when she is more conftable with her body we will do it she says, it is soo frustrating at times i feel like i hate her sometimes because she is keeping me from doing it but if i left her i would be lost. I love her heaps. I know she wonts to have sex but she is ashamed with her body.

Does anyone have any pointers for me to get her to come around? I have been saying she has a hot booty and stuff lateley but it isnt working.


BTW she is 18.
Hey JIM, I am going to give you a few questions to answer yourself ...you don't need to post your answers .This is just something to think about.
1. Is she religious ? if so maybe this is the reason
2. Are her parents very strict ?Alot of girls are very scared about their parents finding out
3.Do you think she just wants to wait till she is married ? alot of girls do this ,and not for religious reasons.
4.Do you think she is ready ? why?
5.Why wouldn't she be ready ? A baby ...she is young and may not be ready to have a baby . And i know you are thinking "But I'm gonna use a rubber " but they are not 100% for sure gonna not break or leak out .
6.She is insecure about her body but she is a hottie ,"what gives?"...well she may be a hottie in your eyes ...but in her eyes she may not be ...just as men are insecure about their penis...girls are insecure about their body ....
7.sometimes i feel as if i hate her ......Well I understand what you are saying ,But if you really love her you need to respect her wishes ...

Please don't take anything i said in offense....i am just trying to get you to look at things in a different way .You are ready and she is not ...this can be very annoying to a guy .Just give her time ..when she is ready ,she will let you know . There are a number of reasons she may not want to have sex ,And if she don't want it there is nothing you or anyone else can do to make her have sex . Just be patient when the time comes it will be worth the wait ,
hope this may help you a little .......

I am a virgin too, and a few years older than you to boot.

So I might not be the best person to give advice, but I think you should tell you girlfriend that you want her to feel that she can be open with you, and that between you and her there is no such word as embarrasing. Tell her you like her and you want to feel a close intimacy with her.

You should get it out in the open and talk about it, but dont interrogate her or try to persuade her into it. Just let her air her views, tell her everything is ok.

Or if you want to be dominant, tell her that you want to feel close to her and she is not letting you do that, so either put out or get out. Remember though, that she may choose to get out!

Would you stay with her if you knew you wouldn't be having sex for another year? If you are willing to accept that, then try not to be frustrated with it. If she knows you're frustrated, then she's going to be more anxious about her body which will make it less likely. Relax.

-former 26 year old virgin.

Would you stay with her if you knew you wouldn't be having sex for another year?

About a year ago her freind asked me the same question and i said no way but here i am....

She isnt religous
Her parents are great and they like me so they are good
I dont think she wants to wait for marrige
She is on the prego pill for her periods so that isnt an issue

But yer man i think she is inscure about her body, a few times before i have felt her up and fingered her and stuff, i asked her why she did it then and she said she was horney, maybe horney goat weed would help us?

I think i am going to give it another month and then im going to move on :( I am only young and i hate wasting time, because last week i was away on a football tour and had a few deffanate chances but i stayed loyal

Thanks for the help guys its helped

Oh yer BTW it probbaly sounds like all I want her for is sex and i want to force her but thats deffanatly not it

Yeah I agree, give her another month, explain how you feel about this issue and if she still doesnt want to, give her the ultimatum I mentioned in my last post. She might be turned on by your being so dominant.

You are right, definitely, you might just have to move on. No matter how much you like her, if she is making you unhappy and frustrated then she is not good for you. Relationships have to work both ways.

Good Luck!
Jim...Man women are sooooo hard to understand ! lol, They expect us to know what they want or don't want , like we are mind readers ...lol the bad part is they usually don't know what they want themselves.
Everyone has given you some good advice , You either have to be willing to wait or like ss4jelq said give her an ultimatum....but what ever you decide to do ,do it because its what you want to do , not because someone else told you to .
The choice is yours and you will have to live with it the rest of your life ,We are just trying to help you out,Whether you stay with her or leave her if she doesn't put out is something you need to decide on as it will be a tough decision.
I am married and haven't been a virgin for a long time ....lol....so my veiw is going to be dif. from others more your age or not married ...i wish there was a cure all answer but it isn't ...so i wish you the best in which ever choice you make ...But i will end on this note....You have to be happy, do what makes you happy, because its your life and you have to be happy with it.....(this is the same thing i tell my 13 yr old son ...).....
Oh , I forgot to mention that i dont think you are with her just for the sex...because you said you two have been going out over a year ,So it says in that fact alone that you are not with her just for sex.
Also after rereading your last post ...she should understand you wanting to go forward with the sex ....seeing as she has let you finger her and fool around. Its only normal that once you get that far its not going to make things any better to not have sex....I do think since you two have gone that far that you can sit and talk to her and get her to see your side .
Thanks again fellas,

Yer im gona stay with her she is my best mate, her freindship is worth more than the sex, but i might change my mind in a few weeks.

men and women approach loss of virginity in extremely different ways. fathers will take their sons to prostitutes to 'make a man' outta them, but can you imagine women doing the same with their daughters?

society and proscribed concepts of manliness dictate that guys should marry virgins, and believe me, girls know this. many women are taught in not so subtle ways that once you lose your virginity, you are no longer pure, no longer valued. its gone. totally and irreplaceably.

and i'll tell you, i don't want my 15-year-old niece giving it up to some hot little stud who may then move on, leaving her to feel that she is now 'damaged goods.'

men aren't held to these same standards. never have been, prolly never will be.

think about what you would want for your daughter, or your sister, and base your actions on this.

another point; i've heard men say 'move on' if she doesn't 'put out'... think about this seriously.

if you have a relationship that is providing you with love, security, room to grow and change, and solace from the fear of life in modern times, don't fuck it up due to some misguided sense of entitlement. thank your god that you have been given this chance at happiness. you're lucky, man. and no size increase or weekend of sloppy sex is ever gonna replace someone's love. ever.

now, if you're so unwilling to wait, get your ass to a pro, use a condom, and lose your fuckin cherry. but don't pressure this young girl into making this life-altering decision based on your needs.

all the best luck to you both, mate.
Last edited:
Don't listen to what their mouths say, listen to what their bodies say.

Oooooooooh, solid advice from the Electric one!
dewey You made alot of good points. I have a daughter and would want here to be treated with the same respect. Without being pressured.

jim555555555 I am kind of one sided on this because I ended up marrying my first Fuck. We were both virgins and 5 years younger than you are now. I personal couldn't see it any other way.

If she is not willing to give up the pussy. Tell her that's OK and your fine with that. Tell her that you will not pressure her into it. But in the same breath tell her that you have wants and needs and you expect her to SUCK YOUR DICK. I'm telling you that it may sound rude to her at first. If you tell her in a nice way and explain to her that there is absolutely no reason that she shouldn't be able to SUCK YOUR DICK she should have no excuses. If for some reason she does not want to remind her that she is not giving up the pussy and there for she needs to be doing something to satisfy you (because you are not completely satisfied with her right now). If she does not no how to Suck a Dick tell her thats Great because she will be practicing alot and she will get very good at it.

ujim555555555 I hope you don't think I'm playing with you. What will end up happening is that your dick will be out all the time. Because she will be Sucking it. It will be like second nature to her. Having your DICK IN HER MOUTH ALL THE TIME. Eventually she will start to want to put it in other places as well (get my drift).

Tell her that this is not intercourse. This is not sick. This is not dirty. This is only another way for her to express her LOVE for YOU without compromising her Virginity or yours.

I wish you the best of luck.
Hello Jim.
I live in the US, and understand that aussies have a differenct culture so my thoughts on this may be a bit off, please don't take offense.

With that disclaimer said. I hear what she is saying and it sounds like she has a self esteem problem. She is ashamed of her body and even though you might eventually get her to suck your dick. She is not going to be too keen to get naked. Tell me something: Does she wear a skimpy bikini? does she like to show a lot of skin? or does she usually dress with long dresses or turtle neck sweaters?
If she covers everything up, she might really have a self esteem problem. Unfortunatly You can't really fix her. she has to fix herself and that will take time and perhaps a professional psychologist. Be aware though, if she gets the self esteem problem fixed, she might be a slightly different person. I'm not saying she'll pull out a whip on you (which, trust me, can be a LOT of fun!), but she might seem different to you over the year or 2 that it might take her to realize how good a person she really is. Sometime during that therapy, she'll come around to dropping her panties. But it has to be at her time.

Good luck.
Top Bottom