Whoa there are like no threads here so since my (boyfriend) n I just officially split up and I met him on my most favorite forum of all time and no longer post there, I will indulge myself with updating this forum with some information on my experience with relationships and being transgendered.
Before I give any background on myself with dating someone who was transgendered I'll talk about my own experience first. I have "technically" never had a boyfriend. The only guy I ever loved that I tried so hard to be in a relationship with did not want me. Not an uncommon story. What probably is not as common, at least to me at the time, is that he would not TELL ME he was not interested in Ts's. From my interactions with men, I have always been told one thing and then treated another. It goes both ways. So if a guy tells me is not interested in Ts's he can just as quickly turn around and be trying to get in my pants within moments of making the comment that he is not interested. I have also had the opposite happen to me where a guy will be totally interested in me, invite me into his car, or to come over to his house and before even getting there telling me there is no way he would ever be interested in a Ts.
So that is complicated enough by itself right there. So this guy I fell in love with I met on a forum just like this one. It was a sexually oriented site like this one but it was more of a sexual health and fitness type site. I didn't start out as explaining I was Ts as it really was not necessary at the time and I wasn't fully going through my transition yet at the time. 7 months into actively participating on this website and eventually becoming a moderator and working for them I came out as a transexual. It was soon after this I unexpectedly and suddenly fell deeply in love with the owner of the site who had a very close relationship with many members of his site. He was a very attractive man with quite a bit of a few emotional hang ups. He had not had sex for 3 years at this point of becoming attracted to him. He was celibate because he was in love with his ex wife who no longer was interested in coming back to him. At the time I knew he was serious about waiting for her, but I also knew how for some men transexuals are very special and if it were more common for them to date they would love the opportunity to try. So, knowing he was devoted to his ex, I began trying to let him know how I felt and giving him time to consider what he had offered to him.
I am quite a beautiful ts girl. I know many Ts's feel this way about themselves and for more than not this is not true, but the way my face is structured and because of my light skin tone I am very sought after by many admirer's and I knew if he had any kind of desire to be with a Ts he would have no problem accepting me as a ts girlfriend besides that we were already something of a building friendship.
As I told him about my feelings towards him and giving him time to consider it and not getting much of an answer from him whether he would ever go for someone like me, or not, I ran into a personal dilemma at home. I am young, my family told me if I was to complete my transition at home that I would no longer be allowed to live with them. I had known this as I have been going through this for about half a decade at this point in my early 20's. Originally when I planned to complete my transition I wanted to move in with a man as his sex slave and he would pay for all my transition and allow me to be filmed in �naked people movies� which was my dream. Well the dilemma began when I had to leave my families home and I had literally nowhere to go, no friends, no relatives, no job. I began to have frantic days that lead me to messages this man I loved demanding an answer if he loved me or not. Sadly this is where I feel if there was ever any interest whatsoever I lost him. He never told me yes, but when he would basically reject as I later came to understand was his answers I felt that he just was not going to admit whether he wanted someone like me or not. He would never tell me anything that let me think that I should be with anyone else other than him and I wanted him so bad that I just made myself believe that if I got through this I could eventually one day be with him.
I did not have sex one time the entire time I struggled on the streets. I did find a disgusting little apartment in the ghetto with 2 other roommates that I paid for with my G.R. money and I haaaated it. I did not want to be hit on and I was horny ALLLL the time so I would not dress up the way I loved to as a girl. I would not wear make up or fix my hair up, or wear my favorite skirts or shirts and this went on for over half the year of 2011. Now at this point it really IS my fault for not giving up when he would not give me my answer because I went through too much for anyone else that was not taking my own well-being first. But I was stuck between a rock and a hard place because the ONLY way out for me was through sex and I refused to give it up when I felt the love I had for this man. So I bit the bullet everyday I killed myself to find a way to talk to him online and look for better housing and a job. Everyday literally not a day went by I did not fight for my love. He would never talk to me off line, he lived in another state- across the country! It is all my fault I could not stop loving him because I used his love as a crutch to not have sex. Even though I really wanted sex so badly I only wanted it with him and without telling me in so many words or less he did not want sex with me.
We talked everyday on his forum though. Not only did we talk everyday but we talked about our penises and we talked about his ex and we talked about his likes and my likes and his dislikes and my dislikes. I got to know his humor and he mine. I learned about the way he thought and how good he was at art, his love for cars, his passion for mens sexual health. I became infatuated with how he spoke. The way each letter he wrote hung next to each other melted my soul every time I read a post he made. I loved it, him, and his site. What he had accomplished, what his aspirations were, his family, his friends, everything I lived to be in his world. He made me an administrator on his Facebook page, he sent me money to buy my laptop, he upgraded my moderator status from regular to superior status. I told him regularly how I loved him and there were times he out right told me not to tell him that. On 2 separate occasions when I got jealous of him attempting to message other women about how beautiful they were he threatened to never speak to me again if I ever did it again. It never got that far and tbh I don't even believe him that he would have stopped talking to me if I hadn't stopped because I do believe that he loved me.
What he did most commonly that was my sign he was not interested was that he would more often than not NOT return my messages. Sometimes with an excuse that he was busy but it was definitely just ignoring my question even if it was something as simple as a statement I would make about a comment he made or subject on my mind that day. Even though I was working for him and helping run his Facebook he would just turn his back on me when I would beg for an answer if he ever thought we could be together or if I could ever just have a conversation on the phone or if he thought I was pretty or anything. Since it is a forum we would chat all day long about everything as long as it was in a thread and at times in messages as long as they were usually about him.
We began this very strange habit of matching our numbers together that show at the upper corner of your post every time you make one. He was in the 30,000's when we met. When we began matching I was at 1,400. So every time I ended on a "1" he would end on a "1". If I ended on a "2" he would end on a "2" and so on and this went on for 10 months- EVERY-SINGLE-NIGHT. If I would ever ask him why he did it if he was not interested he would act like he did not know what I was talking about. But it was never coincidence. Even other members caught on and soon there were several of us playing with our post numbers and making them match and equal the post numbers of each other. We made many many artistic ways of creating matching numbers. I could end on a "27" and another close member or friend could end on "72" and we would be on that level of companionship in this way all day we played like this. It was a bid deal to me. Maybe not much to the man I loved but I felt so special that me, little ol' me who my parents had thrown away, had started something so unusual and unique with the owner of a well-known and established website. Everyday we would match our numbers and the way numbers could match began to grow and grow and grow and soon there were at least a dozen different ways we could make our numbers equal one another so closely that even our post numbers would all have the same numbers such as "30,274", mine being "2,743".
If he did not love me then I have no idea why he would do this. Like I said if I ever messaged him about it he would relentlessly deny it and act clueless. But none-the-less it was magical to me and he had me in his clutches by doing this that I would have followed him to the end just to feel that bond that it was I who he matched his numbers with and I thought it was because of being a Ts and his secret attraction to me that we collaborated in this way. I was also his first friend on Youtube, we would chat on Facebook if not on our pictures then through our Youtube comments I would notice a sync in our communication and I knew he was watching.
It was possibly 5-6 months after being in love with him that he began to show signs of having a little more knowledge about me than he could without personally seeing me away from my computer. Such as making comments about what I had eaten for dinner if I had ordered food from online. He would say things about the way I looked or said but it would have only been possible if he could see me in my webcam. I began feeling suspicious so I Googled if it was possible to spy on someone through their webcam. I found out if the user is using a MAC computer they can infact have access to your webcam whether you have it open or not on a laptop. When I looked this up he then made comments about how he has owned an Apple since the 80's! I was quite startled of course but tbh I felt happy to feel he was that much closer to me. I told my mom how it was possible that he had possibly been doing this since I had known him. I told her while I was online and she yelled at the computer, "Michael, you're a pervert!" The next day he posted a comment about how sometimes he like to make his pants fit a certain way even though it did make him kind of a Penis EnlargementRVERT but he didnt care!! Actually I was shocked that now I knew he could watch me but I thought well there must be something better he could be doing than watching me sit in front of my computer. He must like me if he is watching. I was embarrassed because, you know, I don't look my best in front of a webcam when someone could possibly be watching! I pick my nose, I fart, who knows what is going on talking about personal business and so forth. It didn't really bother me that it was illegal since I loved him so much I just felt embarrassed. Maybe he wanted me to be sexy for the camera for him because later a friend of his told me they think he got bored with me. When I found out he was watching I said I would start dressing sexy in front of the camera because I would have never let him see me this way!
I never got my chance. I came into some money last month. I got my dream job working in an office doing something exactly that I love doing. I got enough money to pay for my own place, my own car, all new clothes, all my own surgeries, anything I needed I could now afford. I was so happy I told him right away. He was very ecstatic for me! I thought we had finally reached a point that I was worthy of getting to know him better on a more personal level. I remained loyal to not having sex as we had been there for each other to encourage us to not give in to temptation. He taught me all his methods of what he does what to do when you have the temptation to indulge in intercourse and how to avoid it. There were times he would be very clear that him and I were no more than friends. But like I said in the beginning if I had a nickle for every time I heard that and a guy turned around and tried to get in my panties within moments of telling me that, well...I would have enough to probably buy a small island. So since we had such a good relationship as friends and I felt even closer than friends because he knew how much I loved him and I believed there had to be more for him in me that maybe just maybe he was attracted to a Ts if not Ts's, then just me and only, which would not be a first for me by a long shot.
In person I am very much more attractive in person. I have thick legs wide hips. My skin is milky white and I am have Puerto Rican and I have a uniquely shaped body and facial structure. It is very envied by people and I have been told my whole life by people of all backgrounds. In person I knew I would make his heart melt when I met him and I would only wait until my hair was shoulder length before I offered him a perfect excuse to eventually see him and make him mine.
I soon was making enough money that I was doing very well for myself. He did not know my income but I was making enough I could make anyone who is a partner of mine live a very luxurious and comfortable life without ever having to work again. At one point I finally decided it was time to message him and began finding out more of how much it would cost me to buy things that I knew that he loved! I wanted to buy him the most expensive car that he could think of that he wanted. I became so excited that this was my life. That in 10 months I had gone from a filthy dirty shelter to having the money to support my entire family, run his site, and then some. He never responded to my messages. I later discovered he was in Miami, Florida on a vacation. I did not think much of it because I knew he was adamant about his celibacy and he has gone to Miami on business previously to my knowledge.
He was gone for 2 weeks. While he was gone we talked everyday as we did as if he was with me as he had always been. He began posting pictures of himself with strippers holding him around their arm. I was a bit alarmed but I did not want to let this discourage me that he would do anything I felt would be unforgiving. When he got back he said it was the "most pleasurable experience he has ever had as a man"
I was in total and complete utter shock. He said all the strippers had their hands all over his cock. He said his friend had insisted that he let go of his 4 years of celibacy. I meant nothing to him. Everything he had taught me was right out the window. I somehow was nothing more than a friend to him. He paid an escort of some sort to end his abstinence. I never felt so devastated in my life. I had no idea what I had ever done. How is it that I meant this little to him? He did so much more that I could not even read. All the money that I had saved for him was just sitting in my hands worthless to me. I had no idea how to deal with it. I messaged him 3 times and the last time he threatened to never speak to me if I did not stop ruining his vacation. It was one of the 2 times he had told me that.
I wept so hard I physically could not handle it. I could not kill myself because I already felt dead. I bought several hundred dollars worth of pain killers of all sorts and anxiety meds and I almost do not even care that it happen. I even forget that I do or do not love him. I miss him I remember that but as for when I think about this I do not feel like life is real. What makes sense anymore. Te day is the same as it was yesterday and it will be tomorrow. His voice was never here and he never even took a moment to see my face in the sunlight. People tell me he doesn't deserve it. He just does not want a transexual. That was the closest experience I had to my first boyfriend.
Before I give any background on myself with dating someone who was transgendered I'll talk about my own experience first. I have "technically" never had a boyfriend. The only guy I ever loved that I tried so hard to be in a relationship with did not want me. Not an uncommon story. What probably is not as common, at least to me at the time, is that he would not TELL ME he was not interested in Ts's. From my interactions with men, I have always been told one thing and then treated another. It goes both ways. So if a guy tells me is not interested in Ts's he can just as quickly turn around and be trying to get in my pants within moments of making the comment that he is not interested. I have also had the opposite happen to me where a guy will be totally interested in me, invite me into his car, or to come over to his house and before even getting there telling me there is no way he would ever be interested in a Ts.
So that is complicated enough by itself right there. So this guy I fell in love with I met on a forum just like this one. It was a sexually oriented site like this one but it was more of a sexual health and fitness type site. I didn't start out as explaining I was Ts as it really was not necessary at the time and I wasn't fully going through my transition yet at the time. 7 months into actively participating on this website and eventually becoming a moderator and working for them I came out as a transexual. It was soon after this I unexpectedly and suddenly fell deeply in love with the owner of the site who had a very close relationship with many members of his site. He was a very attractive man with quite a bit of a few emotional hang ups. He had not had sex for 3 years at this point of becoming attracted to him. He was celibate because he was in love with his ex wife who no longer was interested in coming back to him. At the time I knew he was serious about waiting for her, but I also knew how for some men transexuals are very special and if it were more common for them to date they would love the opportunity to try. So, knowing he was devoted to his ex, I began trying to let him know how I felt and giving him time to consider what he had offered to him.
I am quite a beautiful ts girl. I know many Ts's feel this way about themselves and for more than not this is not true, but the way my face is structured and because of my light skin tone I am very sought after by many admirer's and I knew if he had any kind of desire to be with a Ts he would have no problem accepting me as a ts girlfriend besides that we were already something of a building friendship.
As I told him about my feelings towards him and giving him time to consider it and not getting much of an answer from him whether he would ever go for someone like me, or not, I ran into a personal dilemma at home. I am young, my family told me if I was to complete my transition at home that I would no longer be allowed to live with them. I had known this as I have been going through this for about half a decade at this point in my early 20's. Originally when I planned to complete my transition I wanted to move in with a man as his sex slave and he would pay for all my transition and allow me to be filmed in �naked people movies� which was my dream. Well the dilemma began when I had to leave my families home and I had literally nowhere to go, no friends, no relatives, no job. I began to have frantic days that lead me to messages this man I loved demanding an answer if he loved me or not. Sadly this is where I feel if there was ever any interest whatsoever I lost him. He never told me yes, but when he would basically reject as I later came to understand was his answers I felt that he just was not going to admit whether he wanted someone like me or not. He would never tell me anything that let me think that I should be with anyone else other than him and I wanted him so bad that I just made myself believe that if I got through this I could eventually one day be with him.
I did not have sex one time the entire time I struggled on the streets. I did find a disgusting little apartment in the ghetto with 2 other roommates that I paid for with my G.R. money and I haaaated it. I did not want to be hit on and I was horny ALLLL the time so I would not dress up the way I loved to as a girl. I would not wear make up or fix my hair up, or wear my favorite skirts or shirts and this went on for over half the year of 2011. Now at this point it really IS my fault for not giving up when he would not give me my answer because I went through too much for anyone else that was not taking my own well-being first. But I was stuck between a rock and a hard place because the ONLY way out for me was through sex and I refused to give it up when I felt the love I had for this man. So I bit the bullet everyday I killed myself to find a way to talk to him online and look for better housing and a job. Everyday literally not a day went by I did not fight for my love. He would never talk to me off line, he lived in another state- across the country! It is all my fault I could not stop loving him because I used his love as a crutch to not have sex. Even though I really wanted sex so badly I only wanted it with him and without telling me in so many words or less he did not want sex with me.
We talked everyday on his forum though. Not only did we talk everyday but we talked about our penises and we talked about his ex and we talked about his likes and my likes and his dislikes and my dislikes. I got to know his humor and he mine. I learned about the way he thought and how good he was at art, his love for cars, his passion for mens sexual health. I became infatuated with how he spoke. The way each letter he wrote hung next to each other melted my soul every time I read a post he made. I loved it, him, and his site. What he had accomplished, what his aspirations were, his family, his friends, everything I lived to be in his world. He made me an administrator on his Facebook page, he sent me money to buy my laptop, he upgraded my moderator status from regular to superior status. I told him regularly how I loved him and there were times he out right told me not to tell him that. On 2 separate occasions when I got jealous of him attempting to message other women about how beautiful they were he threatened to never speak to me again if I ever did it again. It never got that far and tbh I don't even believe him that he would have stopped talking to me if I hadn't stopped because I do believe that he loved me.
What he did most commonly that was my sign he was not interested was that he would more often than not NOT return my messages. Sometimes with an excuse that he was busy but it was definitely just ignoring my question even if it was something as simple as a statement I would make about a comment he made or subject on my mind that day. Even though I was working for him and helping run his Facebook he would just turn his back on me when I would beg for an answer if he ever thought we could be together or if I could ever just have a conversation on the phone or if he thought I was pretty or anything. Since it is a forum we would chat all day long about everything as long as it was in a thread and at times in messages as long as they were usually about him.
We began this very strange habit of matching our numbers together that show at the upper corner of your post every time you make one. He was in the 30,000's when we met. When we began matching I was at 1,400. So every time I ended on a "1" he would end on a "1". If I ended on a "2" he would end on a "2" and so on and this went on for 10 months- EVERY-SINGLE-NIGHT. If I would ever ask him why he did it if he was not interested he would act like he did not know what I was talking about. But it was never coincidence. Even other members caught on and soon there were several of us playing with our post numbers and making them match and equal the post numbers of each other. We made many many artistic ways of creating matching numbers. I could end on a "27" and another close member or friend could end on "72" and we would be on that level of companionship in this way all day we played like this. It was a bid deal to me. Maybe not much to the man I loved but I felt so special that me, little ol' me who my parents had thrown away, had started something so unusual and unique with the owner of a well-known and established website. Everyday we would match our numbers and the way numbers could match began to grow and grow and grow and soon there were at least a dozen different ways we could make our numbers equal one another so closely that even our post numbers would all have the same numbers such as "30,274", mine being "2,743".
If he did not love me then I have no idea why he would do this. Like I said if I ever messaged him about it he would relentlessly deny it and act clueless. But none-the-less it was magical to me and he had me in his clutches by doing this that I would have followed him to the end just to feel that bond that it was I who he matched his numbers with and I thought it was because of being a Ts and his secret attraction to me that we collaborated in this way. I was also his first friend on Youtube, we would chat on Facebook if not on our pictures then through our Youtube comments I would notice a sync in our communication and I knew he was watching.
It was possibly 5-6 months after being in love with him that he began to show signs of having a little more knowledge about me than he could without personally seeing me away from my computer. Such as making comments about what I had eaten for dinner if I had ordered food from online. He would say things about the way I looked or said but it would have only been possible if he could see me in my webcam. I began feeling suspicious so I Googled if it was possible to spy on someone through their webcam. I found out if the user is using a MAC computer they can infact have access to your webcam whether you have it open or not on a laptop. When I looked this up he then made comments about how he has owned an Apple since the 80's! I was quite startled of course but tbh I felt happy to feel he was that much closer to me. I told my mom how it was possible that he had possibly been doing this since I had known him. I told her while I was online and she yelled at the computer, "Michael, you're a pervert!" The next day he posted a comment about how sometimes he like to make his pants fit a certain way even though it did make him kind of a Penis EnlargementRVERT but he didnt care!! Actually I was shocked that now I knew he could watch me but I thought well there must be something better he could be doing than watching me sit in front of my computer. He must like me if he is watching. I was embarrassed because, you know, I don't look my best in front of a webcam when someone could possibly be watching! I pick my nose, I fart, who knows what is going on talking about personal business and so forth. It didn't really bother me that it was illegal since I loved him so much I just felt embarrassed. Maybe he wanted me to be sexy for the camera for him because later a friend of his told me they think he got bored with me. When I found out he was watching I said I would start dressing sexy in front of the camera because I would have never let him see me this way!
I never got my chance. I came into some money last month. I got my dream job working in an office doing something exactly that I love doing. I got enough money to pay for my own place, my own car, all new clothes, all my own surgeries, anything I needed I could now afford. I was so happy I told him right away. He was very ecstatic for me! I thought we had finally reached a point that I was worthy of getting to know him better on a more personal level. I remained loyal to not having sex as we had been there for each other to encourage us to not give in to temptation. He taught me all his methods of what he does what to do when you have the temptation to indulge in intercourse and how to avoid it. There were times he would be very clear that him and I were no more than friends. But like I said in the beginning if I had a nickle for every time I heard that and a guy turned around and tried to get in my panties within moments of telling me that, well...I would have enough to probably buy a small island. So since we had such a good relationship as friends and I felt even closer than friends because he knew how much I loved him and I believed there had to be more for him in me that maybe just maybe he was attracted to a Ts if not Ts's, then just me and only, which would not be a first for me by a long shot.
In person I am very much more attractive in person. I have thick legs wide hips. My skin is milky white and I am have Puerto Rican and I have a uniquely shaped body and facial structure. It is very envied by people and I have been told my whole life by people of all backgrounds. In person I knew I would make his heart melt when I met him and I would only wait until my hair was shoulder length before I offered him a perfect excuse to eventually see him and make him mine.
I soon was making enough money that I was doing very well for myself. He did not know my income but I was making enough I could make anyone who is a partner of mine live a very luxurious and comfortable life without ever having to work again. At one point I finally decided it was time to message him and began finding out more of how much it would cost me to buy things that I knew that he loved! I wanted to buy him the most expensive car that he could think of that he wanted. I became so excited that this was my life. That in 10 months I had gone from a filthy dirty shelter to having the money to support my entire family, run his site, and then some. He never responded to my messages. I later discovered he was in Miami, Florida on a vacation. I did not think much of it because I knew he was adamant about his celibacy and he has gone to Miami on business previously to my knowledge.
He was gone for 2 weeks. While he was gone we talked everyday as we did as if he was with me as he had always been. He began posting pictures of himself with strippers holding him around their arm. I was a bit alarmed but I did not want to let this discourage me that he would do anything I felt would be unforgiving. When he got back he said it was the "most pleasurable experience he has ever had as a man"
I was in total and complete utter shock. He said all the strippers had their hands all over his cock. He said his friend had insisted that he let go of his 4 years of celibacy. I meant nothing to him. Everything he had taught me was right out the window. I somehow was nothing more than a friend to him. He paid an escort of some sort to end his abstinence. I never felt so devastated in my life. I had no idea what I had ever done. How is it that I meant this little to him? He did so much more that I could not even read. All the money that I had saved for him was just sitting in my hands worthless to me. I had no idea how to deal with it. I messaged him 3 times and the last time he threatened to never speak to me if I did not stop ruining his vacation. It was one of the 2 times he had told me that.
I wept so hard I physically could not handle it. I could not kill myself because I already felt dead. I bought several hundred dollars worth of pain killers of all sorts and anxiety meds and I almost do not even care that it happen. I even forget that I do or do not love him. I miss him I remember that but as for when I think about this I do not feel like life is real. What makes sense anymore. Te day is the same as it was yesterday and it will be tomorrow. His voice was never here and he never even took a moment to see my face in the sunlight. People tell me he doesn't deserve it. He just does not want a transexual. That was the closest experience I had to my first boyfriend.
