Advice On Women Anyone?


Jun 4, 2003
I seem to be one of those guys who can make a lot of "friends" with girls, but never to have any kind of relationship.

The way it seems to go with me is that I'll meet a girl at a party or something, or through a friend, and we'd get chatting. They always seem to enjoy it, and I can get numbers and everything. But then when I come to ask them to take things further, they tend to tell me "I like you as a friend, but nothing more," or one of my mates will ask her what she thinks of me, and she'll tell them "He's a great guy, but I like him only as a mate"

Any ideas about how to act so that they will like me as more than "a mate"?

It has struck me sometimes that its just something to do with the girls I go for. They always seem to be quiet and shy, and they seem to have something in their past that makes them wary of a relationship. So does anyone have any input on convincing her I'm different?

I hope this is the right forum for this thread, but might I recommend to DLD that there be a "women" forum or something? Itd make sense, after all, once you've got it, you'll want to use it.

Thanks for any advice here, I seem to have asked a lot of questions, which Im sure will help others though
hey seven.....i think maybe when you first start talking to these girls you may give off the impression you just want to be friends and so thats what they take you for ....but .....dont stop trying after one of them if you really want a relationship with her .....and also dont go after too many at one time ...if they know each other then they may start thinking you are desperate ....and just want anyone and it doesn't matter which it is ......ok now for a few tips ...the one you want to go out with must know this beyond any doubt........when you and her are around other ppl this is a very important fact................make lots of eye contact with her ...tell her little jokes to make her laugh ..if you can make her laugh then she will become very comfortable with you .........touch her .....i dont mean to fondle her ...i mean touch her hands ....her arms ...and reach over and brush the hair out of her face her a bracelet doesn't have to be expensive .....tell her how much fun you have when you are with her ........well i think you get the idea by now give this stuff a shot ......hope this may help you out a little ....
For an explanation of what is happening when I girl just wants to be friends, go here

For advice on how to avoid this pitfall, go here

Too much info on this topic for me to post in a thread here, but the answers are all there for the reading.
My last girlfriend I had was very flirtatious. I really liked her, but one day she broke up with me, blah to the reasons. Anyways, she wanted me to "keep trying" or "don't give up" meaning, buy her shit, and let her walk all over me. Well, needless to say that was a while ago, the last time I saw her, the last words I said were "Alright then, I give up" then I left. I felt good about myself. No bitch is gonna walk over me, fucking shit.. Casablamowhammo!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by ItsElectric
My last girlfriend I had was very flirtatious. I really liked her, but one day she broke up with me, blah to the reasons. Anyways, she wanted me to "keep trying" or "don't give up" meaning, buy her shit, and let her walk all over me. Well, needless to say that was a while ago, the last time I saw her, the last words I said were "Alright then, I give up" then I left. I felt good about myself. No bitch is gonna walk over me, fucking shit.. Casablamowhammo!!!!!!!!

Congrats man, its like a warzone out there in the dating scene, don't let em get to you.
i think a big thing to do is to whisper in her ear every once in awhile when you are talking to her. If she seems to like it, youre good, if not you have some more work to do.

ATS has some very good points, gentle touches that are a little more than friendship are great ways to show affection.

Another thing that some (i repeat some NOT all) girls who are shy like is for you to just make the move. Go in for a kiss on the cheek or the lips if the time feels right. Shy girls often times want a guy who will take a risk.

Hope this helps
Thanks guys for the advice. I have been checking out those sites you recommended, Gandolf, and I think I might do better next time. Im still not sure whether to give up on my current "target" for want of a better word. (what would you say she was?)

Originally posted by Inspecta
Shy girls often times want a guy who will take a risk.

Hope this helps

I know its a bit ironic, but the thing is that Im not sure about the risk....I can see that she might be the kind who would like the risk taking, and she seems to be giving some good signs, but then I always think "what if..."

As for now tho, Im gonna keep what you've all said in mind, about whispers, touches etc, and just see what happens in the end. If the time feels right, I reckon I would take the risk, and shed laugh it off if she didnt want it anyway.

Oh, and ATS, how exactly do you think I manage to give off the "friend" signals, and how would I seem more like a potential boyfriend.

well i dont know you or how go about the first ....say 10 - 15 mins talking to new girls you meet . .......but if you are on the shy side then loosen up a bit ...start flirting from the start ....but dont use the pick-up line that every girl has heard about from every other girl different ...i dont mean dress in loud clothes and such ....but dont try to be like ....what works for them to get girls is their thing .....if you are not the shy type ....then maybe in the back of your mind are worried what the "guys" may think .....if you want the girl let her know from the start ....i read some where that a girl knows if she is interested or not with-in like 10 mins. of meeting a guy time you meet a new girl make the first few mins. count ........

now like i said its hard to give advice with out knowing a person and there habits .....but i think you could benifit from changing your habits when you meet them i am sure you have like a certain way you go about talking to them may not be aware of this i said its a habit ....good luck in the future ....if you need any more info or questions just ask....

Your situation sounds like what happened to a good friend of mine.

I think the problem was that he was too desparate to please and having met a girl for the first time would talk non-stop to her and open up his soul.

I mean, within the first 20-30 mins she'd know nearly everything about him.

I think the key is to just make them laugh and don't give away too much.
I've been with my wife for over 17 years. I'm 38 & I have a 22 year old daughter from a gal I went to school with. From 1985 through '87 I was a bouncer in a club....benching 435 drug-free, 54 chest, 20-plus arms....took home probably an average of 5 bitches every 2 weeks from the club(s) I worked at.
This is my honest advice:
(1) Be cool....NEVER EVER ambulance-chase after ANY bitch.
(2) Never undersell yourself....nothing used to piss me off any more than hearing some guy say, "She's outta my league." Bullshit! You have a dick, she has a pussy. Besides, there are millionaire bombshells out there fucking their janitor or their driver - so don't ever sell yourself short.
(3) Be independent - I mean independent. Don't EVER depend on a woman for anything - literally (even an orgasm! you can do it yourself if you have to). Never move in with a woman to help pay the rent, etc.....BE INDEPenis EnlargementNDENT.
(4) NEVER TAKE A WOMAN SERIOUSLY - EVER. They're playtoys, for the most part. The French philosopher Rousseau once said, "Woman is a big child."
(5) Women are NOT men without dicks. They are very different from us, they have different concepts of Time, History, Tradition, Loyalty, Love, Friendship, Sex....etc. EVERYTHING is different.
(6) If you start letting a woman walk all over you, you've set a precedent that will be hard to break. She will lose respect for you, she will take you for granted, she will have to see just how far she can push you - and your life will become a painful debacle.
(7) Never toss around the $$$$$ with a woman - especially if you ain't getting any. Truth is, I was often the guy who was fucking the gal for free while some sucker would take her out to fancy restaurants on the nights I couldn't fuck her because I had to work.
(8) When a woman starts her bullshit act on you - SPLIT. Trust me, it only gets worse.
(9) The key to attracting women lies in convincing them that you don't need them. I know that sounds ridiculous....but seriously. You should give off the impression of a fun, mysterious guy who's going to have a good time with or without her. Make her want to be around you more than you (seem to) want to be around her. And women are contagious. The more women you're seen with, the more women will want to be with you.
(10) Never (overtly) disrespect a woman. Even if she turns out to be a shrill harridan from hell - never insult her looks, intelligence, body, sex, matter how bad she is. That's the mark of death, if you do, as far as other women are concerned. And never hit a woman - ever. I've had women slap me, punch me in the face, hit me in the face with a shoe, etc. But I never hit back. Don't forget it. If she becomes too much, dump her, don't hit her.
(11) Clean yourself up, don't look like a slob.
(12) Don't talk about having "fucked other bitches," etc. As obvious as that sounds, I've gasped in shock when I heard other guys disrespect women they've screwed (to other women), and then expect sex afterwards.
(13) Forget everything your mom, aunts, sisters, etc. told you about women. I had a lot of older female relatives & their "advice" sucked. After all, women don't even know what they want - so why ask one? All of the above info I learned the hard way - over the, I'm passing the torch down to the younger fellas.
Peace, out.
I agree with WanN... with the following additions...

- They like to be told how pretty they are. Each one has their special good points. Breasts, lips, legs, nose, etc. I found they like to hear that you notice their good points. But be careful when you do it. Overdoing it gets their heads all pumped up, and after a bit they might think they're too good for you.
- They will often ask about your past relationships. Better be vague or elusive. Even though they ask, they DON'T really want to know. And it goes without saying that the current one you're talking to is the BEST.
- WaxN is right about the money thing. Even if you do have a lot cash available, don't let them know it. A beautiful, attractive and intelligent lady can instantly become a leach. Guys are interested in how a woman LOOKS. Women are interested in "security" - translation: how much money they can get the guy to spend on them. The ultimate goal for them is to find a rich guy who will turn over the keys to the vault to them. Its universal.
- Like fishing trips, sometimes your luck runs in streaks. Sometimes there are more chicks than you can handle, and sometimes not. I've found the same goes for STATUS of women. I went for several years with a steady supply of married women hitting on me. It must be signals you send out or something. It tends to run in streaks. Just appreciate what you have while you have it.

You information is right on the money. I needed to hear it again.

You are the man. Much respect
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