Youre a BI-SEXUAL MAN?? You poor, confused creature!

S

stillwantmore

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Ok, now that I have your attention, I would like to discuss or perhaps debate this issue that exists concerning bi-sexuals...maybe it's a double standard of sorts, especially when concerning bi-sexual MEN. Let's stay ON TOPIC and not wonder off course into homosexuallity or total heterosexuallity or a soap box evangellical "ye be wrong cuz God sayeth so" type of arguementative debate ok?

Isnt it funny how in most cases it is more acceptable for a woman to be bi-sexual...often because the man seeing this situation has a fantasy of a male/female/female sexual encounter....than for a man to be bi-sexual? One of the best examples that comes to my mind from my personal life is how singer/actor David Bowie was seen by my mother as a once very attractive man...then one day she heard that he was openly bi-sexual and suddenly, she no longer finds him appealing. Same deal with another well known celebrity, Elton John. She had every one of his albums and reveared him as one of the "great" musicians (which he is) until some years ago when she found out that he was bi-sexual. Now, mentioning either man's name brings comments from her like "SIGH, such a waste of a good man...".

What is it about a man being bi-sexual that is so unappealing to some people? I have known homosexual men who do not like bi-sexual men because they feel like .....I've seen this portrayed in the media too on sitcoms and in movies....bi-sexual men are "just closet homosexuals who are afraid to take the plunge". I personally disagree with this mindset. I think it is totally possible for a bi-sexual man to be attracted to both sexes ....either equally or to varying degrees. Maybe most of the time a man prefers the company of and sexual relationships with women and once in a while he enjoys sexual relationships with a man because he feels like a man can fulfill certain sexual needs that a woman cannot or that ....similar to what I have heard many women say about women......"only a man truly knows how to please a man".

Are bi-sexual men "born" this way or is it a decision that comes about at some point in life because of social surroundings, influences from the media, or a certain type of upbringing as a child? Are bi-sexual men "confused" as to what type of sexuallity they really want to pursue? Is bi-sexuallity an "excuse" or a way to somewhat hide the fact that they really are just homosexual and by being "bi" they are able to indulge their homosexual lust and at the same time fool everyone else by being seen with women?

I'm looking for a mature discussion on this topic. Anything inapropriate, insulting, or childish will be deleted.
 
I'd like to commend SWM for his openmind on this subject. Hopefully I can clear up a few things in this post.

Well, about everyone on here knows about me(as if the rainbow-stomached care bear doesn't give it away). I'm bisexual myself. I've known since I was about 5 years old that something was not right.

SWM is right though, we are usually not accepted because people think we're confused. Many teenagers and young adults are confused about their feelings. I know I was, but this is true for homosexual people too. Most of the bi men I have known are truly bi. They were born that way, myself included. We do not choose our feelings. I just see a hot woman and am saying to myself "damn, i'd hit that". I also just see a hot guy and say "damn, i'd love to get ahold of him." I consider it a gift and a curse. We have more of a choice(all heterosexual females plus gay/bi males). At the same time, we're generally not accepted by many heterosexuals or homosexuals.

There are homosexual men out there that try to live the heterosexual life by being with a woman. I would not consider them 'bi', they are just going against their natural feelings. I think we will be seeing less and less of this as our society accepts homosexuality more.

We're really not scary people though. I'm just about as normal as the rest of you. We do not have control over how we feel towards males or females. We cannot be changed. It's just how God made us, I just wish people would see that.

If anyone has any questions, fire away! I'd be glad to answer.

-Spektrum, the official bi mascot of Penis Enlargement :cool:
 
Didn't Woody Allen say that by being bi-sexual, you double your chances for a date on Saturday night? :)

I think many guys like hot looking chicks -- whether they are bi, lez, or straight.

I think many guys don't like non-hot looking chicks, especially if they are bi or lez.
 
While I don't have a problem with bi-sexuals (a good friend of my dad's and me is one), I really have a problem with homosexuals and bi-sexuals coming onto me. Particularly, this guy in my school comes to mind. I thought he was my friend, until he started walking around telling how he likes other guys to take him, and that he wants to take me on because girls are scared of him and he has given up walking the hetero way. Now whenever I see him I want to take a baseball bat and smash his face in, simply because
a) you do not tell your friends something like that in the manner that he did
b) you don't come onto your friends when you know that
(i) they are heterosexuals and
(ii) even if they were bi, they would never go for such a fuck-up like him

Not to be rude or anything, but there is a line. I can live around bi/homosexual people, but when they make such statements about me like the previously mentioned guy, I get scared. And there you have the reason why I am a homophobe. I actually am scared around this guy now, because everytime I see him he either tries to touch me, or I get the strange idea that he might rape me.

Just an opinion
-MBW
 
Originally posted by MightyBigWeiner
While I don't have a problem with bi-sexuals (a good friend of my dad's and me is one), I really have a problem with homosexuals and bi-sexuals coming onto me. Particularly, this guy in my school comes to mind. I thought he was my friend, until he started walking around telling how he likes other guys to take him, and that he wants to take me on because girls are scared of him and he has given up walking the hetero way. Now whenever I see him I want to take a baseball bat and smash his face in, simply because
a) you do not tell your friends something like that in the manner that he did
b) you don't come onto your friends when you know that
(i) they are heterosexuals and
(ii) even if they were bi, they would never go for such a fuck-up like him

Not to be rude or anything, but there is a line. I can live around bi/homosexual people, but when they make such statements about me like the previously mentioned guy, I get scared. And there you have the reason why I am a homophobe. I actually am scared around this guy now, because everytime I see him he either tries to touch me, or I get the strange idea that he might rape me.

Just an opinion
-MBW
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Yeah, just like straight people, there are a few bad apples. Just know that most gay/bi people don't want you if you're straight. It's much easier to get someone that isnt :). Being straight is also a huge turnoff for most of us.
 
yeah im aware of that. i mean I just live up the road of the biggest 'gay' strip in my city. Just this guy freaks me out. might have something to do with the fact that he is a freak, a fuck-up and is in general terms rather odd...

-MBW
 
I don't think Mick Jagger found David Bowie's ambiguous sexuality unattractive.

I think being a Bi guy is unappealling to a woman because she might be selfish and afraid that her man might wanna "switch hit" one day and grow tired of her pussy.

Or maybe women expect men to be decisive and to know what they want, not waver back and forth, confused about things....much like they (women) are.
 
All good points made everyone. This turned into a nice discussion!
 
With 3 bi-sexual guys. They arent together. 2 are married one is in a long term relationship. I dont know if they are bi due to lack of sex although that has happened to each of them. But I dont have any problems with Bi Guys as a rule. I take each person as just that "a seperate person". You cant rule all of any one race or sexual preference as anything. They are as different as pepples on a beach.
 
Originally posted by ctmwm
With 3 bi-sexual guys. They arent together. 2 are married one is in a long term relationship. I dont know if they are bi due to lack of sex although that has happened to each of them. But I dont have any problems with Bi Guys as a rule. I take each person as just that "a seperate person". You cant rule all of any one race or sexual preference as anything. They are as different as pepples on a beach.
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I wish more guys thought like you did! There are good and bad people everywhere, you shouldn't judge them soley on sexual preference, race, etc.

Some people just are too afraid to accept something they do not understand <:(
 
Ok, now I think we can dive off to the left...or right ...lol and discuss other things here if we like. I myself am BI in case no one could tell by now. I have been to gay bars with friends several times in the past, mainly to watch drag queen shows.....quite entertaining as these men usually look VERY convincing when they are all "decked out" in their drag. They take what they do very seriously and with more passion into it than most other people have with anything else they do. I usually get hit on 3 or more times whenever we go and I simply say something to the effect of (in a nice polite tonallity) "no thanks, I am flattered but I'm here with someone." Guess what? Gay/BI men are some of the nicest, most considerate people I have met. I have never once gotten a negative remark back to me or even a dirty look insinuating "what am I too good for you or something?" Flip the scenario around to a heterosexual man hitting on a woman in a bar/night club/wherever and have her turn HIM down....he's a lot more likely to have an attitude problem or feel rejected. Just some interesting observations of mine.
 
Originally posted by stillwantmore
Ok, now I think we can dive off to the left...or right ...lol and discuss other things here if we like. I myself am BI in case no one could tell by now. I have been to gay bars with friends several times in the past, mainly to watch drag queen shows.....quite entertaining as these men usually look VERY convincing when they are all "decked out" in their drag. They take what they do very seriously and with more passion into it than most other people have with anything else they do. I usually get hit on 3 or more times whenever we go and I simply say something to the effect of (in a nice polite tonallity) "no thanks, I am flattered but I'm here with someone." Guess what? Gay/BI men are some of the nicest, most considerate people I have met. I have never once gotten a negative remark back to me or even a dirty look insinuating "what am I too good for you or something?" Flip the scenario around to a heterosexual man hitting on a woman in a bar/night club/wherever and have her turn HIM down....he's a lot more likely to have an attitude problem or feel rejected. Just some interesting observations of mine.
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Wow, I had no idea! Does your girlfriend know?

You're right about gay/bi men though, they don't fear rejection near as much. I think it's because we understand that everyone has their own type. If you're not the other person's type, you just accept it and move onto the next guy you find attractive.

They are some of the nicest guys too! As a matter of fact, almost all of my male friends aren't straight, lol.
 
Interesting but Iwonder if something could be explained to me. I have nothing against gays/bi's, but as a heterosexual i do not understand the attraction for another male. I have no problem saying that another man is good looking or that he has a nice body, but that is about as far as I could take it. I have been hit on by gay men and it has always been pretty funny. I don't know if they were just messing with me or were really interested. but the thought of laying up with another man is simply beyond me. Well that's my opinion.
 
i personally have a few bi friends. i have known them for a long time...i have gone to school with them and i have played in bands with them. and personally i think that they are some of the coolest guys out there. i love talkin to lesbians, there is one in my class and we talk about girls all the time, talkin about how gf's are expensive and how they like attention, etc. before i came to college i was a little closed minded to homosexuals and bi sexuals. to me i just felt like something was wrong with them and that they were "not well". however i come up here and it's like....wow, they're cool. there is a kid in my art class, he's not flamboyant at all, it took me a while to even find out that he was gay. he's a great person to hang out with and he's always helpful whenever i have a question or wanna know something.

and i think that i'm pretty secure about my sexuality. someone here said that he can see a guy and say that he was honestly good looking or had a nice body, and not be attracted to him. it's true, i do that too and it's like. "oh yeah that guy has abs...he looks nice" and then i end up wanting to get a six pack however i have this little thing i like to do called EATING. lol

i just take the person as they are, if they're nice to me i'm nice to them, if they're dick heads and piss me off...then i wanna break their heads in. it's all the same, bi/striaght/homosexual. if they're nice they're nice, and if not then they're not worth talkin to. i say let everyone be happy and let them explore their sexuality, if they wanna get witha guy..let em. if they wanna get with a girl..let em. if they wanna fuckin do drugs and have multiple orgies...let em. it's all about the pleasure and sexual satisfaction. people have to get it any way they can. god bless anyone who accepts who they are, (although i don't really like the ones that put it inyour face) it kindda annoys me when a gay or bi guy or girl puts it right in your face that they're gay and if you find them comin on too strong with it then they say that you're a homophobe and that you're gay too. i'm NOT gay, i just don't find it all that comfortable when guys are so OUT THERE with it. i DON'T GET gay pride marches, if gay and bi people want to be treated the same and not be segregated from the rest...then why go out there marching??? i mean hetero sexuals don't go out there marching and segregating themselves.

i say that if you're gay or bi or hetero just treat everyone the same. no one wants to be segregated and discluded, lord knows that i don't. i just think that parades and gay bars and stuff aren't helping out with both heteros and homosexuals to accept eachother. to be truely accepted then you need to be around eachother. if someone keeps excluding themselves from everyone else then no one will get to know them. know what i mean???? i'm not saying that gay or bi people should not embrace the fact that they are what they are, i just don't see the point in separating themselves from all the rest. my bi and homosexual friends don't separate themselves from hetero groups, like i said i played in bands with them (my bass player was bi) and many of my closest friends are bi. if they exlcuded themselves from the heterosexual scene then i would have never had met them and be so open to their choice life style and embrace them as true friends.
 
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Originally posted by thedaywalker
Interesting but Iwonder if something could be explained to me. I have nothing against gays/bi's, but as a heterosexual i do not understand the attraction for another male. I have no problem saying that another man is good looking or that he has a nice body, but that is about as far as I could take it. I have been hit on by gay men and it has always been pretty funny. I don't know if they were just messing with me or were really interested. but the thought of laying up with another man is simply beyond me. Well that's my opinion.
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Welp, you're straight, you will understand it :blahblah:

Just kidding with you. The only way I can explain it to you is that we have the same attraction for men, that you do for women. We can't explain it either, we were just made this way!
 
And something else too.....

There aren't many guys I'm attracted to. If I'm not attracted to you then you're just another guy and the thought doesn't come into my head. In fact I'd classify it as, "that's gross". If I am attracted to you however..... well that's a different story. Either way, it's not like we're horn dogs out to screw everything we see. Some guys have it, others don't and that's no different than with women except, for me, there are far fewer men I am attracted to than women.

If you don't understand how men can sleep with another man I won't go beyond saying it's a very cool experience when you can relate. When you both have the same equipment you know what the other person wants and it's far easier to communicate needs and wants. When you're in love it's like you're with your best friend only you can say everything you feel and demonstrate it. There is something almost frighteningly deep about being in love with another man. Men and women are very different underneath and each can reach a place of intimacy that I cannot get from the other. It's kinda mystical in that aspect. I'm quite glad I'm bi because I can see the world from both sides. I actually feel kinda sorry for anyone who's exclusively hetero or gay, I feel they're missing out. I don't resent it though. Life is too short and complicated to worry about who sleeps with whom.

I love my male best friends without question. Would I think of sleeping with them? Never. Some are quite attractive but they aren't my type so it doesn't enter into my head. For all purposes, as regards them, I'm straight.
 
MightyBigWeiner: Would you have reacted the same if the person was female? If not, you are most certainly homophobic.

I'm gay but have absolutely no problem whatsoever with bisexuals, in fact I think that it's sort of the optimal sexuality!
In fact I most often find bisexuals more attractive than homosexuals, I don't find people who have obvious "gay" attributes attractive at all. (yeah, I know that I may take some heat for this opinion...)

:blahblah:
 
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