Taking some time off. @F26 grabbed my sack and twisted with all if his might. I need to rethink my reasons for doing this. This is not the end of my journey. I dont plan on stopping here. ...
This is a much needed self reflection. ...
Come on bro haha, stopping PE or taking a break - no way! That you're doing some self-reflection for yourself and a more balanced life - definitely.
Maybe do less PE and use the time for a more balanced life, reward yourself, meet some friends, if you don't like current friends or don't have many, find some via social media in your local area.
If you say/find you're having low self-esteem, ask yourself why?
People betrayed you in the past and just used you? Well, fuck them! You've earned more in life and the best revenge is not to making them feel bad in an active way and insult them, but to have a great life yourself and show them the real mofucking Tuff!
You've such a great personality, some people are maybe just to dumb and haven't seen it or had been selfish.
Who are you, who do you want to become?
You don't like your looks/weight? Well, change it. You did it once, you can do it again. Just make sure it's balanced and not extreme, as it can very easily over-exhaust and make you stop.
You feel shit because you still haven't reached your goals with 36?
Man, life is just about to start. This all from the past until now was a big learning curve with ups and downs and now is the time to create the life you ever wanted by daily small steps!
You want to be more social?
Easy, social media + your local area. Go into local facebook groups and have great evenings. Even if you work every single day, you should at least take 1 evening/night off and reward yourself
You've maybe more achieved than most of us while having your own business and raising twins up as single dad, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have a balanced life and also enjoy it sometimes.
You have a big dick and mostly a bigger dick than most of the forum here, who do you want to prove something?
Invest less time in PE (if you want) and use for example 30min a day for having a walk in the nature, 10-20min for drinking a green tea with nice music in the morning and preparing your day without being stressed. Another 1-2h for more sleep so you'll have more energy and sleep also helps against depression. + another 15-30min for some physical activity/sports.
Cook with your kids or alone without being stressed and enjoy it, start cooking 1-2 times a week meals you're craving for as reward, even if it's BS sometimes to clean up afterwards, it's still a cool feeling.
Lots of people have depression/bad self-confidence nowadays in life as you said, this really isn't something to be ashamed for. I've also had been in completely shitty times in my life but I can tell you that for example something like PE won't cure it.
The thing at least what helped me is to create a little more balanced life, not black and white anymore!
You're just 36 bro, life just started! Grab life by the balls and kickass!
You're a big idol for lots of people here, just by your attitude, think about using that attitude also in other aspects of life (fire)
Enough motivational talk, I wouldn't recommend you stopping pe or taking a time off, just maybe lowering the volume to 30min a day and using the rest for yourself and other things. Physical activity + more sleep 100% helps much with having a better overall mood.
In addition to that also don't forget the social aspect, date some girls if you want (just for talking if you want), talk about life, drink coffee/tea with them and do what you want. Start going out with friends, no need to go in bars, you can go bowling, climbing, start visiting a cheap gym or find local calisthenics/bodyweight groups in Facebook, there's hundreds of ways
So as I've said and really mean it, if you need any recommendation or help in what to do, there's lots of people here which won't mind helping you as you gave so much help to the forum and invested lots of time helping newbies (including me) + inventing DIY devices and motivating other people.
Peace out, I really hope it helps!