Progress thread Haursen's Comeback

11-25-24

When Life Gives You a Stretch, Take It and Hold On! šŸ§˜ā€ā™‚ļø

Good morning, gentlemen! It's Length Week, and Iā€™m reporting live from the frontier of gainsā€”where every inch is fought for, one stretch at a time.

Let's dive in before I get too wrapped up in the details (pun intended šŸ˜‰).

šŸ“Š The Daily Rundown: From Dreams to Schemes

  • Sleep: 8 hours and 44 glorious minutesā€”yes, I tracked it down to the second because data is king! šŸ‘‘
  • Morning Wood Level: 4/5 šŸŒ²šŸŒ²šŸŒ²šŸŒ² (room for growth, but hey, still standing tall).
šŸŒŒ Celestial Stretching: Reaching for the Heavens

Workout:

  1. Bundled Stretching: 6 minutes of twisty, taffy-like goodness.
  2. Celestial Stretching:
    • BTC, down, and out (bundled, of course)ā€”6 minutes each. If youā€™re not bending space-time with these, are you even Length Weeking?
  3. Recovery Zone:
    • Red Light Therapy: 12 minutes of science-y healing vibes.
    • Lingam Wrap: Because even the stars need their cozy moments. šŸŒŸ
Cardio Bonus:

20 minutes bouncing on the rebounder because gains donā€™t just happen sitting around! šŸƒā€ā™‚ļø
šŸ“ø To Post or Not to Post... That is the Stretchy Question

So, I may or may not have taken a picture of my Celestial Stretching setup. Itā€™s tasteful, but Iā€™m on the fence about sharing. Privacy is key, but curiosity is strong. šŸ¤”

Dad Joke of the Day
Why donā€™t skeletons stretch?
Because theyā€™re already bone-tired! šŸ¦“šŸ˜‚

Inspiration for the Week:
"The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do." ā€“ Commit to the process, guys. Inch by inch, it all adds up!

For My Fellow Married Men:
Never forgetā€”your efforts here are about more than just you. Love your wives fiercely, keep the marriage bed exciting, and let this journey add a spark to your bond. Sheā€™ll notice. Trust me. šŸ˜‰

Stay strong, keep stretching, and letā€™s make Length Week legendary! šŸ’Ŗ
 
Last edited:
oldandlively said:
Believe in your skills, your ability to lead, your meticulous directions, and your love of the work. You have them all. With that in mind, He will bless and strengthen your endeavor in the new role.
Click to expand...
God bless you!
 
11/26/24

Rise and Shine, Gentlemen! It's Rest Day! šŸŒž​

Good morning, fellow PE enthusiasts! Today is the holiest of holiesā€”rest day! A time to kick back, relax, and let the gains weā€™re chasing catch up to us. No stretching, no tugging, no workoutsā€”just you, your body, and maybe a well-earned second cup of coffee. ā˜• (Bonus points if itā€™s iced, because apparently, thatā€™s an atomic bomb. More on that later.)

Letā€™s dive into the happenings of this incredible day.

Snooze Goals: 7 Hours, 31 Minutes of Sleep šŸ˜“​

Last night, I clocked a glorious 7 hours and 31 minutes of shut-eye. Not a minute more, not a minute less. If sleep were a workout, Iā€™d call this a personal best. It's like my body knew I needed this exact formula to wake up feeling incredible.

Remember, gentlemen: your body is like a muscle carā€”you need premium fuel (good food), regular maintenance (rest days), and enough time in the garage (sleep) to keep things running smooth.

Morning Wood Report: A Solid 4.9 Out of 5.0 šŸŒ²šŸ’Ŗ​

Hold the applauseā€”but not for too long. This morning, I woke up to a breathtaking 4.9 out of 5.0 morning wood situation. That's not just wood; that's mahogany! It was so impressive I almost stood and saluted it.

The catalyst for this masterpiece? Iā€™m not entirely sure. Letā€™s investigate the potential suspects:

šŸ•µļø Possible Culprits for My Glorious 4.9:​

  • The Nightly Cocktail: My bedtime beverage ritual:
    • 3 scoops of Simple Truth Grass-Fed Whey (19g of protein per scoop)
    • 1 scoop of Nutricost Creapure Creatine
    • About 8 oz of Simple Truth Coconut Milk
    • Separate Drink: Trace Minerals Magnesium Powder (350mg) in filtered water
  • Herbal Helpers:
    • 1 capsule of Nutricost Nattokinase (2,000 FU)
    • 1 capsule of NOW Dandelion Root
  • The Evening Self-Care Routine:
    • Post-washdown application of organic castor oil to the lingam.
    • 50 strokes with the gua sha blade on each side of the lingam, 30 strokes on the front and bottom.
    • Applied DMSO + aloe vera creme mixed with organic shea butter afterward.
  • Mini Trampoline Madness:
    • 3 minutes of rebounding before bed. Itā€™s fun, low-impact cardio. And if it helps with gains, even better!
  • Cardio From the Day Before:
    • A solid 30 minutes of rebounding cardio after my trucking shift.
  • The Iced Coffee Wild Card:
    • Letā€™s not underestimate the power of caffeinated iced joy. Could this have sparked greatness?
Whatever the reason, Iā€™m ecstatic. Hereā€™s to more 4.9s (and, dare I say, 5.0s?) in the future! šŸš€

A Dad Joke to Brighten Your Day šŸ˜„​

Why donā€™t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up! šŸ„š

Inspiration Corner šŸ’”​

ā€œTake care of your body. Itā€™s the only place you have to live.ā€ ā€“ Jim Rohn

Married men, letā€™s remember to love our wives with everything we have. Be her rock, her safe place, and her most loyal admirer. Thereā€™s no greater pursuit than loving her well and loving her alone.

Wishing you all the best gains, the deepest rest, and the happiest of marriages. Cheers, gents! šŸ™Œ
 
Haursen said:

Morning Wood Report: A Solid 4.9 Out of 5.0 šŸŒ²šŸ’Ŗ​

Hold the applauseā€”but not for too long. This morning, I woke up to a breathtaking 4.9 out of 5.0 morning wood situation. That's not just wood; that's mahogany! It was so impressive I almost stood and saluted it.

The catalyst for this masterpiece? Iā€™m not entirely sure. Letā€™s investigate the potential suspects:

šŸ•µļø Possible Culprits for My Glorious 4.9:​

  • The Nightly Cocktail: My bedtime beverage ritual:
    • 3 scoops of Simple Truth Grass-Fed Whey (19g of protein per scoop)
    • 1 scoop of Nutricost Creapure Creatine
    • About 8 oz of Simple Truth Coconut Milk
    • Separate Drink: Trace Minerals Magnesium Powder (350mg) in filtered water
  • Herbal Helpers:
    • 1 capsule of Nutricost Nattokinase (2,000 FU)
    • 1 capsule of NOW Dandelion Root
  • The Evening Self-Care Routine:
    • Post-washdown application of organic castor oil to the lingam.
    • 50 strokes with the gua sha blade on each side of the lingam, 30 strokes on the front and bottom.
    • Applied DMSO + aloe vera creme mixed with organic shea butter afterward.
  • Mini Trampoline Madness:
    • 3 minutes of rebounding before bed. Itā€™s fun, low-impact cardio. And if it helps with gains, even better!
  • Cardio From the Day Before:
    • A solid 30 minutes of rebounding cardio after my trucking shift.
  • The Iced Coffee Wild Card:
    • Letā€™s not underestimate the power of caffeinated iced joy. Could this have sparked greatness?
Whatever the reason, Iā€™m ecstatic. Hereā€™s to more 4.9s (and, dare I say, 5.0s?) in the future! šŸš€
Click to expand...
It's actually the dandelion roots and cardio. Cardio brings out cortisol, but the dandelion root negates it. The caffeine sparks but also fades the blood flow. So, try to reduce the cortisol level even more, and you'll see the morning woods more often going into the 5.
 
oldandlively said:
It's actually the dandelion roots and cardio. Cardio brings out cortisol, but the dandelion root negates it. The caffeine sparks but also fades the blood flow. So, try to reduce the cortisol level even more, and you'll see the morning woods more often going into the 5.
Click to expand...

PS I also remembered taking two teaspoons of organic black seed oil internally before bed too.
 
Haursen said:
PS I also remembered taking two teaspoons of organic black seed oil internally before bed too.
Click to expand...
If that is the case, you magnesium and black seed oil being uptake by the creatine for blood pressure management and adrenal boost after body has the amount of rest it needs
 
Haursen said:
Huh? šŸ¤”
Click to expand...
Creatine has a necessary counter balance. Imagine adding high octane to the fuel and not enough oxygen to counter the higher explosive needs. It's running rich. Creatine forces the body to uptake the magnesium to counter the off balance because the body uses creatine for cellular activities in fuel producing. When the body becomes too hot and stressed during the energy production, it uses magnesium to cool down. But when the system needs the balance between the hot-cool processes, it needs lipids to act as a bridge, like oil to lubricant for both heat-friction and cooling.

Hope that explains the weirdness.
 
oldandlively said:
Creatine has a necessary counter balance. Imagine adding high octane to the fuel and not enough oxygen to counter the higher explosive needs. It's running rich. Creatine forces the body to uptake the magnesium to counter the off balance because the body uses creatine for cellular activities in fuel producing. When the body becomes too hot and stressed during the energy production, it uses magnesium to cool down. But when the system needs the balance between the hot-cool processes, it needs lipids to act as a bridge, like oil to lubricant for both heat-friction and cooling.

Hope that explains the weirdness.
Click to expand...
Very smart post!
 
11-29-24 (Late Entry)

šŸ“£ Late to the Party, But the Gains Never Stop! šŸ“…

Lingam Confessions: Thanksgiving Edition šŸ¦ƒ

Hey, brothers of the stretch! First, let me apologize for this late entry. Thanksgiving was excellent...our traditional Italian Thanksgiving because we are not turkey people. šŸ˜„ The only thing I managed on Thanksgiving was wrapping my lingam (consider it the VIP treatment for a day off).

Now, letā€™s get back to business. It was the day after the feast, and my lingam wasnā€™t about to rest any longer. šŸ’Ŗ

šŸ›Œ The Basics: Food Coma Recovery Mode
  • Sleep: 7 hours and 55 minutes. Not bad, but not quite dreamy.
  • Morning Wood: None. Le sigh... Maybe the lasagna stuffed me up too much.
šŸŽ¢ From ā€œNahā€ to ā€œLetā€™s Do This!ā€

I wasnā€™t planning on a workout today. My lazy side was winning. But then I thought: Forget it... letā€™s go! šŸš€ And boy, am I glad I did.

Hereā€™s how it went down:
  1. 6 Minutes Total Package Stretching
    My lingam, bundled and cozy, basked in the glow of the Lumebox. It feels futuristic, doesnā€™t it? šŸš€
  2. Celestial Stretching:
    • BTC (Between-the-Cheeks): 6 minutes. You know youā€™re committed when you get this personal with yourself.
    • Downward Stretch: 6 minutes. Gravity is my friend today.
    • Front-Facing Stretch: 6 minutes.
    • Now, hereā€™s where things got expressive:
    • For the final minutes of the front stretch, I grabbed my trusty exercise band and got expressive. Think stretch and feel the feels!
    • Then, for good measure, I got on all fours and tugged back and forth for some next-level expressive stretching. Felt spicy!šŸ”„
šŸ§“ Recovery: The Soothing Session
  • First, I lathered the lingam with organic castor oil and shea butter for some natural healing power. My lingam deserves the best. šŸŒæāœØ
  • Before bed, I applied the 70% DMSO + 30% aloe vera creme. Itā€™s like giving your gains a VIP spa day.
Dad Joke to Lighten the Load

What do you call a stretchy turkey?
Gobble-elastic! šŸ¦ƒšŸ˜‚

Closing Thoughts: Keep Stretching and Loving

Life gets busy, but donā€™t let that stop you from showing up for yourself (and your marriage bed). Remember: PE isnā€™t just about the gains; itā€™s about the confidence, the intimacy, and the love you bring to your marriage with your Sweetie. ā¤ļø

Keep it fun, keep it consistent, and keep on stretching toward greatness!
 
Girth Week Has Begun! šŸŽ‰ Letā€™s Get Thick With It!

Hey PE crew! šŸ‘‹

This week, itā€™s all about girth, baby! Thatā€™s rightā€”time to bulk up and thicken out. šŸ†šŸ’Ŗ But before we get into todayā€™s "thick-tivities," letā€™s rewind to the weekend where things were, wellā€¦ thinner than I hoped.

Sexy Saturday: More ā€œMehā€ Than Marvelous​

Picture this: Itā€™s Sexy Saturday, the vibes are set, and your wife is ready. But your lingam? Not so much. šŸ˜…

I forgot to take Vigor, and letā€™s just say, it showed. My erection wasnā€™t as firm as it couldā€™ve been, and it was a lackluster experience. šŸ˜¬

But hey, every dayā€™s a learning day, right? The bright side? We live and learn. šŸ’–

Sleep Report: Almost 8 Hours of Bliss šŸ˜“​

Todayā€™s sleep stats? A solid 7 hours and 53 minutes! šŸŽ‰ I even woke up with 4/5 morning wood. Not bad for a guy with a schedule tighter than his Siliring. šŸŒ³šŸŒ„

The Forest Gets a Trim āœ‚ļø​

Speaking of tight, I finally shaved my pubic hair! Not only does it help with the seal for penis pumping, but wow, did my lingam look massive with the new landscaping. Itā€™s amazing what a little manscaping can do for the view. šŸ˜

Lumebox and Bundled Stretches: The Warm-Up Show šŸ”„​

I kicked off todayā€™s session with 6 minutes of Lumebox warm-up followed by some bundled stretches. There's nothing like twisting things up to prepare for a knotty workout. šŸŒ€šŸ’Ŗ

3 x 3 x 3 Lingam Workout: No Breaks, All Gains​

Todayā€™s workout? The Juggernaut method, of course. 3 x 3 x 3:
  • Technique: Juggernaut with soft erect bends mixed in (gotta keep things interesting).
  • Pace: Non-stop. No breaks. I plowed through the sets like a trucker on a deadline. šŸš›šŸ’Ø
The best part? I finished in time for lunch with my wife. Canā€™t have her grumpy because Iā€™m lateā€”happy wife, happy life!

Recovery: Scrape and Squeeze šŸ”„​

Recovery time was equally epic:
  • Gua Sha Blade: 50 reps on each side of the tunica (left and right).
  • Tight Siliring: 10 minutes at the shaft base.
  • All-Day Siliring: Switched to a large one, which Iā€™ll wear through my trucking shift into the next day. Talk about long-haul gains. šŸš›

Lingam Lessons and Loyalty​

Todayā€™s session was spectacular, and itā€™s only the start of Girth Week. Remember, married men: As you grow in your PE journey, stay faithful to your wife. That lingam? It belongs to her and her alone. šŸ’•

Dad Joke to Leave You Smiling:
Why donā€™t trees do PE?
Because theyā€™re already well-rooted! šŸŒ²šŸ˜‚

Inspirational Quote to Keep You Going:
"Small steps lead to great gains, but a faithful heart will always be the biggest victory."

Keep growing, stay strong, and honor the commitment to your wife. Letā€™s make this week thicker than ever! šŸ’Ŗ
 
Excellent post! So detailed and i wish other brothers would do the same thing.
 
Life Happens, and Thatā€™s Okay

Hey everyone,

I wanted to pop in and share a little about whatā€™s been going on in my world. Itā€™s nothing earth-shattering, but sometimes it feels good to just put things out thereā€”especially with a community like this.

---
Goodbye, Old Car

For months, I dealt with car troubles. You know how it isā€”one problem after another until youā€™re throwing money at it just to keep it running. Finally, my wife and I made the decision to sell it. Did we get what we paid for it? Not even close. Did it sting? Oh yeah. But honestly, letting go of the stress and hassle? That was worth something too.

Sometimes, the real win isnā€™t about getting what you deserve. Itā€™s about choosing peace over frustration.

---
Stepping Away From a New Job Position

On top of that, I recently resigned from a position. It wasnā€™t an easy decision, but it was the right one. Sure, there was more money to be made if I stayed, but at what cost? My mental health and spiritual peace mean more to me than any paycheck.

Walking away might not look like success to some people, but for me, it felt like reclaiming control of my life. And thatā€™s priceless.
---
Your Turn

Lifeā€™s full of ups and downs, and sometimes, itā€™s just nice to ventā€”even in a place like this. So if youā€™ve got something weighing on you or a decision you are pleased with, feel free to share (and leave out the details if you need to). Getting it off your chest can be a relief.

Thanks for reading, and hereā€™s to making decisions that bring you peace, not just profit.
 
Amen brother. Same with you, I've been there. More money with massive headaches, or move back one position and save my sanity.

The Lord will bless you with new ventures.
 
A Day in the Life of PE: Stretch, Pump, Repeat šŸš€

Hey PE fam!

Letā€™s kick things off with a little humor because, well, lifeā€™s too short not to laughā€”even when youā€™re talking about your lingam.
---
Sleep and No "Rise": The Morning Wasn't Wood-erful šŸŒ…

Last night, I clocked in 7 hours and 28 minutes of sleep. Solid, right? But this morning? No morning wood. Not even a 2/5. My lingam mustā€™ve hit the snooze button. I guess even he needs a day off! šŸ˜“
---
Warm-Up Fun: Behind the Cheeks and Red Light Peeks šŸ”“šŸ‘

Warming up was all about bundle stretches and the Lumebox. Six minutes of red light therapy, including behind the cheeks stretches. You know, because nothing says ā€œdedicated to the processā€ like contorting your body under a red glow. Itā€™s like flexibility , but for your lingam. āœØ
---
Two Times Two Times Two: Pump, Push, and Mercury Dance šŸŽ¢

Todayā€™s main event was the 2x2x2 Juggernaut-style workout. While in the pump, I kept things spicy:

First Minute: 12 Mercury.

Second Minute: Interval pumping, up to 12 Mercury, dropping to 8.

Oops Moment: Sometimes Iā€™d dip down to 5 Mercury by mistake before climbing back to 12. What can I say? Let off a bit to much, and so did the pressure! šŸ˜‚
---
Recovery Time: Rings and Things šŸ’

For recovery, I slipped on the large Siliring for 10 minutes, then transitioned to the all-day large ring. Nothing beats passive gains while staying hands-free!

The best part? I finished in time for lunch with my wife. A happy wife is way better than locking yourself in the bathroom chasing gains. Trust me on this one. šŸ˜…
---
Dad Joke of the Day:

Why did the pump get fired from its job?

Because it just couldnā€™t handle the pressure! šŸ˜‚

---
Inspirational Quote:

ā€œConsistency is the secret ingredient to every big transformation."
---

P.S. To my fellow married men: Stay faithful to your wife. Remember, loyalty isnā€™t just honorableā€”itā€™s sexy. The gains youā€™re making? Theyā€™re for her and her alone. Keep your eyes on the prize. šŸ’–

Cheers,

Haursen
 
Itā€™s Friyay, thank God ! šŸ™Œ

Hey PE fronds,

First, letā€™s take a moment to give thanks to the Lord for bringing us to Friday. Every day is a gift, and today, we unwrap the weekend! Letā€™s jump into my update.
---
Sleep Report: Stress Stole the Morning Wood šŸŒ˜

I clocked a respectable 7 hours and 53 minutes of sleep last night. Sounds great, right? But no morning wood today. Why? Life stressors have been working overtime to mess with my head (and apparently my body). Weā€™ve all been there, but it still stings a bit.

---
Warm-Up: Stretching by the Red Glow šŸ”“šŸ’”

To shake off the stress and get into the groove, I did a 6-minute warm-up with bundled stretches under the Lumebox. Something about that red light makes me feel like a PE superhero gearing up for action. šŸ’Ŗ

---
Main Event: Two Times Two Times Two = Beast Mode šŸ¾

Todayā€™s workout was the Juggernaut Style 2x2x2 formula:

Focused intensity.

Kept the pump pressure steady (12 mercury).


Itā€™s a workout that reminds me how persistence pays off, even on tough days.

---

Recovery: The Same, But Always Effective šŸŒ€

Recovery was classic:

1. Large Siliring for 10 minutes.
2. Switched to the all-day large Siliring for passive gains.

This routine is a keeper. It keeps my recovery game strong without eating into my day.

---
Incredible Challenges, Greater God šŸ™

Right now, Iā€™m facing some tough life challenges. Itā€™s one of those seasons where everything feels heavy. But instead of giving up, Iā€™m leaning closer to God. Heā€™s my refuge, my strength, and the only answer to lifeā€™s storms. If youā€™re going through something similar, I encourage you to do the same.

---

A Word to Married Men šŸ’

Guys, remember: PE isnā€™t just about physical growth. Itā€™s about enhancing the bond you share with your wife. Stay faithful, honor your commitment, and let PE strengthen the marriage bed for you both. Your gains are for her and her alone.

---
Dad Joke of the Day:

Why did the workout machine get a promotion?

Because it was always raising the bar! šŸ˜‚

---
Inspirational Quote:

"Storms make trees take deeper roots." ā€“ Dolly Parton

Stay strong, stay consistent, and stay faithful. Letā€™s keep growing, inside and out.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top