I'm in a relationship with someone; her name is Margaret. She is the best girl in the world.
But apart from that, I'm a misogynist.
I mean I hate being one; I liked back in the day when I considered myself a calm lover of women. Course, I wasn't much of a lover considering I never was liked by women in high school, never was once accepted by a girl, and never knew just how many sexual relationships were going on behind my back while I sat at home having romantic little kissy fantasies about girls I had crushes on (secretly promiscuous girls at that) spending $40 on valentine's candy for HUGS, considering myself SO AWESOME that I was the guy in my school that was a "true christian" (catholic school) and never had sex with anybody not realizing it was just because nobody WANTED to have sex with me, and going through the same bullshit that my friend alongside me went through. In fact, at that one fateful sophomore valentine's dance I sat through for 3 hours moving my feet like some jackass in a diner, when the girl that everybody said "YOU SHOULD GET WITH HER TRISTAN SRSLY" just ditched me to do the slow dance with some other jerkoff, I went home crying my eyes out to the point of it being dangerous for me to drive. It was at that point...something in me snapped. I had given up on women completely. I was sick of the bullshit. And while it sucked to suddenly become asexual, it did feel rather empowering to hate instead of love.
You could say it's also related to penis size issues. I'm glad I get to admit that, because anywhere else it's just a joke. But in all reality, it's some truth. What kind of good woman is "generally nice" but laughs upon seeing a small penis? Even down-to-earth women like me (as in, I'm a down to earth man) do that shit. Sure, they're honest, but that doesn't change things around much. All the millions of wives that cheat on their husbands, all the men that betray other men in the same way, all the superficiality that exists in high schools and colleges, can I even like women anymore? Sure I still look at women and think they're hot but immediately after I don't feel horny, I feel shocked and violent...all because I don't imagine them as nice people at all, and if they really are nice they're just "misguided". Either they're real hardcore christian or just ignorant of the whole penis thing. Even now, with the ability to Penis Enlargement I feel that; cuz why do we Penis Enlargement? We like being better than other men, and we think of that (O.O) look on women's faces. But when you're a guy with a small penis, that look just seems so fucking...fake, or ridiculous, or hurtful, or whatever. (I haven't Penis Enlargement'd yet because I want to see how I fare with my born penis first. That, and I live in a double dorm.)
It was shortly after that experience when I was younger that I met "her". Margaret. I denied asking her out so many times because I knew it would just end up in betrayal. But...the night she said she was in love with me and wanted to be with me, I couldn't help but say yes. And a bunch of worries crossed my mind. But you see, I don't have to worry about sexual issues with her because she's more spiritual, and loves only ME. Because of some mental diagnoses she is a very unique person that only has a sex drive for the Penis EnlargementRSON she's with. And she only came after me...though she suffered the same thing I did, what with being alone a lot. She simply loves the fact that I HAVE a penis, not how big it is. If I were a woman she'd still love me, and obsess over my vagina.
On top of that she's very down to earth, and still manages to remain sweet even though deep down she's as much a fighter and struggler as I. Somehow she manages to be both and make it work. She has also been faithful to me for 2 years of our long-distance relationship. This makes her one of the rarest women on earth. And she still sticks with me and all my misogyny, hatred, inner darkness, and bitterness. She is a 3-Dimensional angel. I'm sure if her female friends knew all of this stuff about me they would all tell her the same thing; "You need to leave that depressed loser and find yourself a nice manly man!" But she's the most understanding person on earth; even more than I am. And I LOVE her.
But she's not every woman. And I do have women friends...but even so, it's tough to feel comfortable around women of any type, especially attractive ones. I'm good at bullshitting what I'm truly feeling if the necessity arises, but I hate it. I mean, I used to write erotic lesbian fiction...and every woman and man that's read my stuff thinks I'm a great writer. But I find I can't do it anymore, because it's as if I was only writing those because I didn't want to talk about penises. In addition, it's as if the characters in the stories consummated their love purely on superficiality. I hated that romantic feeling, because suddenly I was in a reality that romance had no place in.
I happen to like dickgirls. So I do see the fun in huge cocks; for me, there's just more to play with. But even so...a woman can get surgery and the man will be angry at her: "What, did you think I wasn't going to love you if you didn't have huge tits?" But the man starts jelqing and the woman goes "OOH! I'm liking this new part of you!!!"
I even went through a horrible mindset where I began crushing on my own girlfriend's mother, because said mother looked and sounded like an older version of mine own lover. Plus, she was real flirty, and my girlfriend only saw humor in it. Of course I'm sure her mother was just kidding around too, but I began to suspect. After coming down to reality and seeing she was just kidding, it didn't take me long to build fap fantasies off it. And after hearing from my girlfriend that "My mother is depressed that she's not pretty enough, and neither my dad nor I can convince her she is because we're family!" and I began to fantasize about playing the young guy seducing the mother. But when I realized huge cocks played a huge part in that, and was the whole point of woman pedophilia (something I often fantasized about playing the young boy in), no longer could I enjoy that. On top of that, said mother was pretty promiscuous at a young age, so I was just blown away. I felt powerless, useless, and I constantly asked myself "Why? Why do I want this if I can't even do anything, even if I never intended to?" and began to hate her...just as an emotional response because I didn't know how to take it. How would someone like her react at my penis? Probably the same way the majority of women would. I did nothing though, and she and I don't talk much anyway, especially since she's on the other side of the country. Margaret eventually yanked the secret out of me, and while she accepted it, she didn't want me to hate her. That did nothing but make me feel worse. So overall this whole thing is depressing.
And that's how it feels. It feels like women are fake. If they're not fake, they're ignorant. It feels like they take what they want from men, and the only reason men don't hate that is because they're willing to give it to them. They're willing to give their huge cocks to the nasty women. And the women feel powerful, and they can simply laugh at me in my face and feed off my emotional pain. And any woman that doesn't is simply not sexy or too old or whatever.
A lot of people base love on superficiality nowadays. Even me. I mean, we're human like that, so even if we don't want to we still have to. I still say "This woman is attractive" and what not, and even have a low standard for what I consider attractive...probably because some women are simply "available".
Any of you in relationships...can you honestly say that when you saw the person for the first time, you weren't drawn to them because of how they had made themselves out to be attractive?
To sum up, let's say that I wouldn't be able to love if it weren't for Margaret my angel.
