by Paul A.
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For the last two weeks I’ve discussed what your options are if you become separated from your penis. To summarize briefly: If your dick is to be separated from your body it would be best if said dick remains intact and viable. The alternative is to have a living roll of flesh in the general shape of a dick hanging from your crotch. As far as looks go... Boffo! But if you’re looking for a bigger return from a new dick than simply having a bulge in your pants and peeing straight... it ain’t ideal. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Ok, let’s take a quick trip to the future and see what sort of medical technology might be just around the corner. Due to a freak malfunction of your hydrogen fuel cell jock strap, your wang is lingering in the fifth dimension (although there’s a chance it could be in the sixth) and even if you could retrieve it, it would be inside out. It’s 2025, you’ve been rendered dickless, what’s to be done? Well, if current medical technology keeps racing ahead, there’s a reasonable chance that by the year 2025, your doctor might be able to grow you a new one. Yup. That’s what I said. Not a piece of flesh from your arm fashioned into an ad hoc appendage, but a bona fide brand new schlong! Now if that sounds like science fiction, that’s because it is. This is distant horizon science. But even distant horizons have a way of arriving sooner than you think, and in the last few years it’s been pedal-to-the-metal for the knob growing pioneers. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The science underlying such a feat is known as tissue engineering (TE). Although first conceived by Y.C. Fung back in 1983, TE has been developed in earnest in the last decade by doctors from Children’s Hospital Boston, in particular, Robert Langer and Joseph P. Vacanti. You may remember them from a few years back as the guys behind such “gee whiz!” science as growing a human ear on the back of a mouse. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]TE can take many forms, but for our purposes it involves the creation of a biodegradable 3D lattice (a framework) into which cultured cells (from the recipient's own tissue) are “seeded.” The whole apparatus is then bathed in a nutritive media and the seeded cells multiply along the scaffold structure and into the spaces between. Eventually the scaffold itself breaks down and what remains is flesh (your own flesh!) where none existed before. It’s Six Million Dollar Man science and we really do have the technology... well... almost. Scientists have become very adept at growing individual tissues and even organs made from single tissues. In 1999, Dr. Anthony Atala, from Children’s Hospital Boston, grew artificial bladders for six beagles. Why six? Why beagles? It wasn’t disclosed, so don’t ask me. However, creating complex large scale organs, like a human penis, is currently out of science’s reach. But it looks like not for long… [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In 2002, the same Dr Atala and his team succeeding in growing a rabbit penis in the laboratory. At least that’s what was widely reported in the media (the modern press is sooo gullible). What they actually did was grow the various tissues that comprise the corpora cavernosa (the erectile tissue) of several rabbits (Why rabbits? It never said, but I’m guessing that rabbits are probably the largest mammal we can still ethically screw with). The boffins then removed the rabbits’ own erectile tissue and replaced it with the brand new stuff. And after a period of recovery, the rabbits were doing it like, well…, rabbits. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]More difficult of course is the growing of a whole new penis, nerves and all. No one thus far has been able to grow a complex organ of any kind, and the penis is especially difficult because there as so many different internal structures. There are the aforementioned corpora cavernosum. Then there is the tunica albuginea which bands the corpora cavernosum together. Then there’s the lacunar space, otherwise known as the space of Smith (at least that’s what Smith – whoever he is - calls it) which surrounds the tunica albuginea. Then there’s the corpus spongiosum located on the underside of the penis. And let’s not forget the urethra, the glans (head), the skin, the mucosa, and believe it or not, something called the meatus. On top of all that you’ve got to make sure the component parts are vascularized – that means blood vessels and lots of them. And of course there’s no point growing a great hunk of living beef-stick if there are no nerves to make it all worthwhile. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If all of this sounds daunting, it is. But scientists are still confident that we can roll out functioning penises sometime within the next decade or so. Now I know, I know, scientists are a notoriously hubristic bunch and they’ve made promises before that haven’t exactly panned out (I’m still waiting for my personal rocket pack). But there is reason to think that penis production might soon be possible. And one of the most promising technologies to help achieve this is, believe it or not, inkjet printing. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As you’re probably aware, inkjet printers work by ejecting extremely small ink drops onto paper. The same technology has also been used to make 3D prototypes by having the inkjets deposit a layer of plastic with each pass. Scientists from Japan have recently (hot off the presses, baby) succeeded in using biocompatible inkjet heads to seed living cells, at micrometer resolution, in arrangements similar to biological tissues. The technology is obviously still very immature but ultimately this technique may allow technicians to, cell by cell, layer by layer, print you up a whole new dick with blood vessels, nerve channels, meatus, spaces of Smith and... well... the works! And yes, presumably if you slipped the technician a few bucks he might make it a couple of sizes bigger. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]So there is hope. But before you start thinking of trading up from a medium to XXL, remember this technology is still in its infancy. There won’t be any big dick factory opening up anytime soon. For the time being, take care of the one you’ve already got, treasure it, and in the best case scenario, it’ll be the only one you’ll ever need.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For the last two weeks I’ve discussed what your options are if you become separated from your penis. To summarize briefly: If your dick is to be separated from your body it would be best if said dick remains intact and viable. The alternative is to have a living roll of flesh in the general shape of a dick hanging from your crotch. As far as looks go... Boffo! But if you’re looking for a bigger return from a new dick than simply having a bulge in your pants and peeing straight... it ain’t ideal. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Ok, let’s take a quick trip to the future and see what sort of medical technology might be just around the corner. Due to a freak malfunction of your hydrogen fuel cell jock strap, your wang is lingering in the fifth dimension (although there’s a chance it could be in the sixth) and even if you could retrieve it, it would be inside out. It’s 2025, you’ve been rendered dickless, what’s to be done? Well, if current medical technology keeps racing ahead, there’s a reasonable chance that by the year 2025, your doctor might be able to grow you a new one. Yup. That’s what I said. Not a piece of flesh from your arm fashioned into an ad hoc appendage, but a bona fide brand new schlong! Now if that sounds like science fiction, that’s because it is. This is distant horizon science. But even distant horizons have a way of arriving sooner than you think, and in the last few years it’s been pedal-to-the-metal for the knob growing pioneers. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The science underlying such a feat is known as tissue engineering (TE). Although first conceived by Y.C. Fung back in 1983, TE has been developed in earnest in the last decade by doctors from Children’s Hospital Boston, in particular, Robert Langer and Joseph P. Vacanti. You may remember them from a few years back as the guys behind such “gee whiz!” science as growing a human ear on the back of a mouse. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]TE can take many forms, but for our purposes it involves the creation of a biodegradable 3D lattice (a framework) into which cultured cells (from the recipient's own tissue) are “seeded.” The whole apparatus is then bathed in a nutritive media and the seeded cells multiply along the scaffold structure and into the spaces between. Eventually the scaffold itself breaks down and what remains is flesh (your own flesh!) where none existed before. It’s Six Million Dollar Man science and we really do have the technology... well... almost. Scientists have become very adept at growing individual tissues and even organs made from single tissues. In 1999, Dr. Anthony Atala, from Children’s Hospital Boston, grew artificial bladders for six beagles. Why six? Why beagles? It wasn’t disclosed, so don’t ask me. However, creating complex large scale organs, like a human penis, is currently out of science’s reach. But it looks like not for long… [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In 2002, the same Dr Atala and his team succeeding in growing a rabbit penis in the laboratory. At least that’s what was widely reported in the media (the modern press is sooo gullible). What they actually did was grow the various tissues that comprise the corpora cavernosa (the erectile tissue) of several rabbits (Why rabbits? It never said, but I’m guessing that rabbits are probably the largest mammal we can still ethically screw with). The boffins then removed the rabbits’ own erectile tissue and replaced it with the brand new stuff. And after a period of recovery, the rabbits were doing it like, well…, rabbits. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]More difficult of course is the growing of a whole new penis, nerves and all. No one thus far has been able to grow a complex organ of any kind, and the penis is especially difficult because there as so many different internal structures. There are the aforementioned corpora cavernosum. Then there is the tunica albuginea which bands the corpora cavernosum together. Then there’s the lacunar space, otherwise known as the space of Smith (at least that’s what Smith – whoever he is - calls it) which surrounds the tunica albuginea. Then there’s the corpus spongiosum located on the underside of the penis. And let’s not forget the urethra, the glans (head), the skin, the mucosa, and believe it or not, something called the meatus. On top of all that you’ve got to make sure the component parts are vascularized – that means blood vessels and lots of them. And of course there’s no point growing a great hunk of living beef-stick if there are no nerves to make it all worthwhile. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If all of this sounds daunting, it is. But scientists are still confident that we can roll out functioning penises sometime within the next decade or so. Now I know, I know, scientists are a notoriously hubristic bunch and they’ve made promises before that haven’t exactly panned out (I’m still waiting for my personal rocket pack). But there is reason to think that penis production might soon be possible. And one of the most promising technologies to help achieve this is, believe it or not, inkjet printing. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As you’re probably aware, inkjet printers work by ejecting extremely small ink drops onto paper. The same technology has also been used to make 3D prototypes by having the inkjets deposit a layer of plastic with each pass. Scientists from Japan have recently (hot off the presses, baby) succeeded in using biocompatible inkjet heads to seed living cells, at micrometer resolution, in arrangements similar to biological tissues. The technology is obviously still very immature but ultimately this technique may allow technicians to, cell by cell, layer by layer, print you up a whole new dick with blood vessels, nerve channels, meatus, spaces of Smith and... well... the works! And yes, presumably if you slipped the technician a few bucks he might make it a couple of sizes bigger. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]So there is hope. But before you start thinking of trading up from a medium to XXL, remember this technology is still in its infancy. There won’t be any big dick factory opening up anytime soon. For the time being, take care of the one you’ve already got, treasure it, and in the best case scenario, it’ll be the only one you’ll ever need.[/FONT]
