5 signs she's using you

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship situation where you’re constantly calling the girl, taking her out and being devoted, sweet and kind to her only to get games, drama and inconsistency in return? While most women want to be with a man who treats them right and is ready for commitment, there are selfish and opportunistic women who intentionally take advantage of men and relationships. Here are 5 tips on how to tell if she’s just using you.

1. She doesn’t keep dates with you

She repeatedly tells you how interested she is and how much she wants to see you; however, when dates are scheduled, she cancels at the last minute or something always seems to come up to prevent the two of you from meeting. If she consistently cancels dates with you, there’s a chance this woman doesn’t enjoy your company at all and is in fact using you.

2. She doesn’t return your phone calls

If the girl seldom returns your calls in a timely manner, always has a busy schedule and only calls when she wants something from you or needs a favor, it should be clear that she is using you and that you are not a priority.

3. She only hangs out with you as a last resort

A woman that desires you will create time in her busy schedule to be with you. But If she only makes plans with you at the last minute, as if nothing better came her way or when plans with her friends fizzle, you’re pretty much an after thought and her last resort.

4. She’s only interested in what you can give her

A normal couple alternates in buying each other dinner and gifts; however, there are many situations where women only see men as a source of movie tickets and food or, even worse–a rent check or a down payment for a car. Ask yourself the following questions: Are you constantly buying things for her and receiving nothing in return? Do you always pay when you go out and find yourself spending more money on her than you counted on? Does she borrow money from you but never pays you back? Does she write you off whenever you’re not spending money on her? If you answered yes to these, the lady in your life is a gold digger.

5. Her future plans don’t include you

If she only has short term plans about your relationship, gives no answer when you ask about what your relationship will be like three years from now and always avoids talking about meeting her friends or parents, she is more than likely using you to fill a temporary void in her life until someone better comes along.

If you recognize these signs, you need to get some backbone and move on. You’ll be happier if you find a girl who likes you for you, not what you’ve done for you lately.

Some girls just take a guy by the balls and crush 'em like a nutcracker. If you are this far gone and a woman has this much of a grip on your strength to make the right decision for yourself I would suggest a good therapist is important to seek out and a strong support group to help you find out how, why, & where is the next best step for you to become strong and independent again. All men deserve a loving relationship, succubuses get away with too much.

I hate number one!

well getting used its not bad if all you want is sex, if a guy is ugly and rich he knows this, but a person in a relationship in love and the woman taking advantage, is a shame, kicking her to the curb is the only right thing...

you can always tell if a girl is into you. if she isn't, then don't embarrass yourself or waste your time. i'm young and learned that even younger

I learned the hard way but wont make that mistake again. The more attractive women are worse for this than uglier ones because some of them think the world owes them something due to their beauty, maybe daddy spoilt them rotten as a kid? but I have dated enough hot girls to know they often dont give a shit about most men and use them, so I learned from a few hard lessons and broken hearts to nip it in the bud quickly and kick them to the curb.

You don't need that shit and never be afraid to end it, even if she is the hottest girl on the planet because of this she never thinks you will end it. Its embedded control in her since a young child, as people always told her how hot she was and like I said Daddy would have spoilt her rotten i.e. daddy's little princes.

Uglier girls obviously still do all this, any female can and I don't want to generalise but from my experiences the more sexy ones take fuller advantage of it due to knowing guys will be naive enough to put up with the shit. Dont.

REDZULU2003;430519 said:

I learned the hard way but wont make that mistake again. The more attractive women are worse for this than uglier ones because some of them think the world owes them something due to their beauty, maybe daddy spoilt them rotten as a kid? but I have dated enough hot girls to know they often dont give a shit about most men and use them, so I learned from a few hard lessons and broken hearts to nip it in the bud quickly and kick them to the curb.

You don't need that shit and never be afraid to end it, even if she is the hottest girl on the planet because of this she never thinks you will end it. Its embedded control in her since a young child, as people always told her how hot she was and like I said Daddy would have spoilt her rotten i.e. daddy's little princes.

Uglier girls obviously still do all this, any female can and I don't want to generalise but from my experiences the more sexy ones take fuller advantage of it due to knowing guys will be naive enough to put up with the shit. Dont.

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I have to say I don't totally agree with you on this, I know you said ugly girls are this way included but you did not say how beautiful girls can also be loving and sweet like our mothers perhaps? Beauty comes from with in I believe. A girl can be gorgeous or hideous but the way they treat others and their personality is what makes them glow. It is true many "people", not just women, have become self absorbed and have rude poor attitudes, but this surely does not restrict itself to one group of attractive women. Maybe this is different for me because I am in a heavily populated geographical location on the beach in Southern California and even fat chicks know they can make themselves desirable and confident. I have known every kind of woman from the bitch to the angel and it does not restrict it self to good looking broads. Some very sexy women are also sweet as sugar and have well rounded families. Others not so much and plenty of whores in Cali not making an excuse there. We also have the ugly girls who are ugly inside and out but are probably not as vocal about it. You probably have more experience with the finer ladies being a handsome lad yourself and we are young so our desires are fast paced and heated. Girls often do not know what they want at our age but I think there are a strong percentage that do know and they aren't out tramping around at bars or the street and they have better morals, attitudes, and looks.

I think its important to point this out because both of my sisters have very low self-esteem and weight problems; one sister is 22 with a one year old daughter(who I love to death) and the other is 25 sadly a prostitute. They both feel like they are not beautiful and they have no idea how stunning they are when they try. Their whole lives people have teased them and my ass of a father was a prick and verbally abused all of us growing up so one sister found comfort in the arms of guys who use her and get her drunk. So I don't think we should say beautiful women are trash because we could also be strengthening the misogynists misguided view when we should be helping men to become stronger on a healthy level. I think it goes the same for men who are mistreated by others and women having low self-esteem and nothing makes me angrier than people who view the penis as dishonorable or perverted. We live in a backwards world- I could make an endless list of real life scenarios that do not make sense. Up is down and backwards is forwards. All we can do is live our lives the best we can and know God is always with us.

Yeah true and I did say didnt want to generalise. Just myself have had and seen lots of these stunning women really take the piss out of guys, myself included in that. You could say I became bitter about it and got my revenge by using them for sex and dumping um, which I did. I know I did immature things but you learn right? sure not all sexy women are users but I bet this stereotype does exist? hot girl like butter wont melt can have her pick from the men but they aint all like this of course they are not and should have made this clear in my post so thanks for pulling me up on it.

REDZULU2003;430660 said:

Yeah true and I did say didnt want to generalise. Just myself have had and seen lots of these stunning women really take the piss out of guys, myself included in that. You could say I became bitter about it and got my revenge by using them for sex and dumping um, which I did. I know I did immature things but you learn right? sure not all sexy women are users but I bet this stereotype does exist? hot girl like butter wont melt can have her pick from the men but they aint all like this of course they are not and should have made this clear in my post so thanks for pulling me up on it.

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Ya, I didn't think you were wrong about what you said what I meant was that there was more to it. Of course beautiful girls use men and are hurtful which is the basis of this thread. I just wanted to add it wasn't ALL beautiful women and even men and ugly people have these same dysfunctions. Of course I did not think you did not know that I just wanted to have it on the record. No worries.

Number 5 can be so subtle, yet is so true.

Anyone can use anyone, it's just more likely that more attractive females AND males will get away with it. If an ugly girl started using you, you'd find it easier to kick her to the curb. If a super hot girl was using you, you'd find it much harder. Same goes for ugly and attractive males.

Everyone tries to say how looks aren't important, but we all take them into account.

The #1 sign she's using you:

...drumroll...


She's a female.

Medicating;431330 said:

Anyone can use anyone, it's just more likely that more attractive females AND males will get away with it. If an ugly girl started using you, you'd find it easier to kick her to the curb. If a super hot girl was using you, you'd find it much harder. Same goes for ugly and attractive males.

Everyone tries to say how looks aren't important, but we all take them into account.

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Maybe there's truth to this medicating, but I don't think so. I think the issue is simply one of self esteem. If you have low self esteem-you'll let a fat girl use you too... If you are really confident, I don't think you'd let Britney Spears (or *insert who you think is hot here*) use you. In the case of the fat girl, I think you might be more likely to use her also, moreso than with a hot girl. Tricky to figure out how the mind works though, male or female.

REDZULU2003;430660 said:

Yeah true and I did say didnt want to generalise. Just myself have had and seen lots of these stunning women really take the piss out of guys, myself included in that. You could say I became bitter about it and got my revenge by using them for sex and dumping um, which I did. I know I did immature things but you learn right? sure not all sexy women are users but I bet this stereotype does exist? hot girl like butter wont melt can have her pick from the men but they aint all like this of course they are not and should have made this clear in my post so thanks for pulling me up on it.

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One thing I would argue here is how much one's priorities matter. I used to be much more superficial in my youth. Now I definitely care much more about inner beauty than outer beauty. Now if we're talking a one night stand, yes outer beauty would usually win. But if I'm looking for a girlfriend, then while I want both, I'd take inner beauty over outer beauty. Stuck up women disgust me and I could only fuck them in a vengeful, angry way lol. But frankly I don't wanna be anywhere near them. And soon they really don't look good anymore as you've learned who they are and it completely taints whatever natural physical beauty you once noticed...

It wasn't always like that for me, but at some point when you get burned enough-you gotta step back and say "Okay, my game plan clearly sucks, perhaps we need to move loyalty or *insert other virtue/s here* up the list" (depending on what problem you seem to continually have with women, hot or otherwise). For me, once I did that... the next one was the one, and she was both-I'm a lucky man, she's a redhead though, feisty at times-but always worth it.

Gotta have someone you can trust and enjoy the company of, that's step 1. If they happen to be hot, well... that's just a bonus. If you reverse those steps, I think you are in for a roller coaster of a life in matters of the heart. I got "lucky" but I know it never would have happened without all the bad experiences that led me to change my priorities, so I don't regret the bad relationships.

True .. inner beauty trumps outer beauty but it has been tempting to override the brain and go for looks. Myself ageing have become more aware and looked deeper into the person than before, albeit I never dated someone I didn't actually like but 1NS and no strings sex I didn't give a rats ass but should have ... my behaviour in the past with casual sex was a disgrace but we learn and move on and that I HAVE.