Why do people cheat in a relationship?

[MikeShlort]

Oh, your last post made it seem like you were saying to give up on humanity. After clarifying I agree with what you both said.

No, I'm more okay with humanity than before. It's necessary to be a part of it.

 

[neognostic]

neognostic couples are not in love 100% of the time in any relationship. A person's preferences, views, and so on change over time, sometimes, not in the same direction within the relationship. If you're stating the emotional connection is dropped below the sexual desire tier, then, the action is some type of mask to avoid a deeper issue. This action will damage the emotional connection and the relationship will become dysfunctional eventually if left untreated. Unhealthy, as you experienced from being the 2nd man in the relationship.

Yep.

 

[DLD]

No, I'm more okay with humanity than before. It's necessary to be a part of it.

Wow, I would have thought you would have a general disregard for humanity

 

[MikeShlort]

Wow, I would have thought you would have a general disregard for humanity

Well anyone who has their eyes open should. You still need people to accomplish anything on this planet.

 

[AlexFowl]

I believe it's because people jump in to relationships too soon or commit too early. Since it's very difficult to find a single mate to meet all of our emotional and sensual needs.

 

[rakas]

Well anyone who has their eyes open should. You still need people to accomplish anything on this planet.

My assessment of humanity is largely that we are absolutely brilliant species in relation to intelligence and creativity however we are sadly also conflictive and gullible (a large swathe of society are simply sheep waiting to be led) with an unthinkable capacity for hatred and brutality.

I've probably said it before but to use Startrek, i still haven't decided whether we will be a benevolent Federation or a brutal Klingon Empire, i think the jury is still out.

 

[MikeShlort]

I believe it's because people jump in to relationships too soon or commit too early. Since it's very difficult to find a single mate to meet all of our emotional and sensual needs.

Needs. That's such an ugly word to me.

 

[AlexFowl]

Needs. That's such an ugly word to me.

"Desires" seems to fit the sentence better.

 

[peruano99]

"Desires" seems to fit the sentence better.

I suspect a woman/man cheated on you?

 

[Threak-X]

I believe it's because people jump in to relationships too soon or commit too early. Since it's very difficult to find a single mate to meet all of our emotional and sensual needs.

One person cannot meet 100% of another person's emotional and sensual needs, if so, a child would never leave the Mother. Then what is the basis for the premature decision of commitment; the inability to make an informative decision because of the cloud of infatuation and lust?

 

[MikeShlort]

One person cannot meet 100% of another person's emotional and sensual needs, if so, a child would never leave the Mother. Then what is the basis for the premature decision of commitment; the inability to make an informative decision because of the cloud of infatuation and lust?

No. Because people want to always feel like they do when they are falling in love. Rather than taking time to find themselves, they would rather be with someone else. Even if it's not the right person. it's the right-now person. Many people are afraid to be alone. Many people settle. Many people believe they need to be in a relationship for many reasons, so they jump into one. Like rather than be selective, wait for the right person and be alone many a night, they would prefer to jump into a relationship until it sours, then restart the cycle. It's easier than trying to be self reliant and looking inward for meaning and entertainment instead of outward.

I completely agree with what he said. I just don't like the word "need".

 

[huge-girth]

But thats the point, for my wife to ask if she can sleep with another man i would view as a rejection/i'm not good enough to satisfy her myself, equally for her to let me i would view as she did not care enough.

I can't even imagine it in my head. I will end that marriage if she ask such. If she suggest that, then she doesn't love you genuinely. No alpha male in his right senses will settle for a marriage like that.

 

[huge-girth]

Or you could say that she's selfish enough to try to get you to change into something you aren't since she wants something (sex) that is, in fact, rejecting in its behavior if not its intended effect (which is to get sex, let's be honest). For a woman to tell you such a thing isn't an indication of some deep emotional connection. It's putting the so called deep emotional connection on a tier below sexual desire. I've been the second man in such relationships and let me tell you that there was some deep pathology at work there and lots of co-dependence on the part of the couple but there wasn't what I would call a deep and healthy emotional connection.

With deep emotional connections people grow into one another, not apart. Do some people have perfectly happy marriages/relationships based on open sexuality? Sure, but I wouldn't say it's because of some vast personal enlightenment they've attained. Quite the contrary in my opinion.

I agree with this post.

 

[huge-girth]

I have no issue with the communication of such desires be it saying that she wants something kinky or even that she fancies the ass off somebody but to actually act on a desire to have intercourse with somebody else takes it a step too far and i couldn't ever see myself in a position where i would willingly accept my mate having sex with another guy. I also don't see why it should be discussed as a practical outcome, if a girl was to ask me if she could have sex elsewhere, i would quite simply say "not a chance".

God bless you for this post.

 

[DLD]

If you love someone never, ever cheat on them. Even if things are going rots work it out. I wish I never cheated on my wife. Because I love her so much. And I miss her so much but in my Innocence I made some very bad decisions. As the Lord says, love conquers all.