Well "Old Man" as a Dad myself (boys 19 & 16) first I gotta tell ya congrats. Because you have given your son strength enough so that he doesn't need to be constantly attached to you. You've given him courage to go out into the world and experience new, challenging and at times possibly even frightening things. And you've given him a solid enough character so that he knows he's valuable to and accepted by other people.
In short; your young boy is well on his way to becoming an adult. He'll always be your child, he won't always be your kid. Watching that transformation take place is the very epitome of mixed emotions:
You want more than anything else to see your son grow into a strong, capable, mature human being and contributing member of society....And yet; the adorable little guy you used to tuck in at night is one of your fondest memories, and damn don't it hurt for it to fade to simply a memory.
I've been a single Dad since '95, andone of the "traditions" I started for me and my guys was Sunday chicken. After doin' whatever we'd do that particular weekend I'd cook a big ol' roast chicken with whatever sides we'd all decide on. We'd have everything all ready for a new school/work week then we'd all chow down, then clean up and it'd be about crash time by then.
And I never felt more satisfied as when I'd make my "Dad rounds" later that night and listen to my kids sleeping, knowing that they fell asleep with no worries whatsoever.
I felt really fulfilled.
As time went on...they inevitably grew and the outside influences became more and more predominant in their lives. Those times of innocence were, unfortunately, gone forever, and the teenage growing pains, with their attendant complications, became an almost constant part of all of our lives.
My oldest seems to have come through those difficult years relatively whole minded (he was nowhere NEAR as bad as I was at his age) but my youngest has a few more hurdles to overcome.
No matter how hard you try; they need to grow and learn on their own. Some of the hardest decisions I've ever made involved holding back and letting my kids take their lumps so as to learn the invaluable lessons they'd need to learn.
Because I truly believe that character is built through response to adversity.
As your kid becomes more and more independent of you I would offer this advice: Try as hard as you can to remember yourself at his age, while being as aware as you can be of HIS WORLD. Not yours, or mine or the "grownup" world in general, but his world; of his friends, his perceptions, his aspirations and his obstacles.
Try to be aware as possible of any trends that may spell trouble in his future as well as any natural talents or abilities you both might want to make the absolute most of.
You just might also go through the period where you ain't cool no more....it'll pass. The hardest part about parenting, (for me, anyways) is the delicate balance of pushing enough to get through to 'em...but not pushing so hard that they go away. You will, most likely, have personality clashes; that's natural too, just don't take them personally, they're just another indication that your kid has a dynamic personality.
After it's all said and done one of the most gratifying things you'll ever hear is, "Thanks Dad...you were right."
And I don't mean that at all in a smug way; I mean it as him recognizing that all your hard work and sacrifice actually had a positive influence on his life, and that he recognizes that and is truly appreciative.
And maybe that's something of lasting value your son can pass on to your GRANDCHILDREN.
(Made ya feel real old on that one, huh?!)
Good luck, all the best.
i would not want to see him everyday not when i was 14 i would want to play football with my mates or be with them.
