My Dick Was Cut Open With Chainsaw!!!!!!

C

crazycanuck

1
THAT GOT YOUR ATTENTION, EH!?!?!

Well, no, I didn't cut up my trouser snake with a Husqvarna, feels almost as bad though. Got into a knife fight, fended off the attackers with my cock........ well, no that didn't happen either.

Read on....

Stepped out of the shower last night, not expecting sex, but to my surprise my wife is laying on the couch, cobbing herself with her cyberdick, watching the Hustler channel. I tear off the robe, hard enough to bend steel around the one-eyed weasel of DEATH!!! Near the end of the shag she was jerking me off , I launched all over her huge boobs, my dick felt a bit sore, but nothing too bad. This morning I'm taking a piss, and freak out since there's blood coming from my dick. Not internal, turns out she tugged the foreskin back so hard towards the base when pulling my tube, the small piece of skin under the nob connecting to the skin, tore slightly. Burns like a SOB. Fucking hate foreskin, probly out of commission for a week. I could of been up to 7 1/2" BPenis EnlargementL by mid march, THIS SUCKS!!!!!
 
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Yikes. That sounds painful. But at least it sounds like you had some good sex before it happened. :D
 
Stunna said:
damn man that blows, try putting some of those creams people love on it maybe it will help
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That song would be from Eminem....He anit talking about Penis Enlargement though. He's talking about tree jumping! For those who don't know tree jumping is searching for little kids to fuck, you lure them in with jolly ranchers or chilli willies, turn on a carton porno and....hell you can figure out the rest!
 
crazyed27 said:
That song would be from Eminem....He anit talking about Penis Enlargement though. He's talking about tree jumping! For those who don't know tree jumping is searching for little kids to fuck, you lure them in with jolly ranchers or chilli willies, turn on a carton porno and....hell you can figure out the rest!
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I don't get it ?:(
 
Bigd5903 said:
I don't get it ?:(
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A treejumper is a child molester.....like chester the molester! its refering to child molesters who hide out in trees and jump out of it when a child comes along! I know its a stupid joke!
 
Oh i didn't read Stunna's signature. I was wondering why you started talking about Eminem songs and child molestors. :hammering
 
Man that started out a porno flick and turned into a horror. Just keep it clean and apply bacitracin 3 times daily. You should be back in business in less than a week.

DLD
 
I've put a similar product called polysporin on the tear. Must make sure the First-Aid room door is locked, don't want one of my employees to walk in while I've got my dick out, twisted upside down, and I'm rubbing cream on it, LOL!!!!

On the topic of adult entertainment, she has great jugs, DD's, depending on the brand of bra, sometimes an E cup. I love getting jerked all over them, or when she holds them out like friggin' platter and I cover them with jizz.

FUCKING HURTS, starting to pitch a tent here.
 
DAM Craz, I hurt right along with ya!! DD's , Hustler channel and a dildo HUH? AWESOME!!!! Now I've got a hardon!! Just trying to imagine them!!!
 
Glad to hear it canuck. On Monday the shift for big one eyed snake continues. [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Hm[/words] and your wife seems to be a very interesting person lol. Her hands seems to be pretty strong.

Lappner
 
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