Might be getting a divorce!

S

sizerp

0
I know this sounds crazy since I've only been married for 8 months, but the wife is Hungarian and we've been going in this downward spiral for half the time we've been married for! I only started dating her about 15 months ago, so I may have rushed into things with her.

We just don't share that intimate connection because English is her second language and she turned out to be very naggy, whinny, depressed, and we share like nothing in common.

Why DID we get married? And now wtf we going to do? She would go home to Hungary if we split up, but that leaves me with all the bills and shit to pay, which I kinda depended on her for helping with.

I am stressed.
 
As hard as the future may seem, dragging things on indefinitely waiting for your situation to improve on its own will most likely work out to be more painful and more expensive as time goes by. I've been there. My ex descended into booze and drugs in an amazingly rapid time and made my decision really easy. Living through the span leading up to and soon after the divorce was not quite so easy.

Tough for me, devastating for my kids.

My advice, for whatever it may be worth, is that if you really are serious go ahead and make your decision early and avoid further accumulated pain and expense. I'll bet you'll be far more able to cope with the unexpected turns of your future without her than you presently believe you can.

Whatever you decide, good luck with it. Sounds like any decision will be kinda painful, but at least one way leads to your freedom.
 
The language barrier thing is tough in a relationship. Have you tried a counselor? That may help smooth things out. It is better to go out on good terms if you can help it. I think MAX's advice is the only way.
 
MAXAMEYES;435223 said:
As hard as the future may seem, dragging things on indefinitely waiting for your situation to improve on its own will most likely work out to be more painful and more expensive as time goes by. I've been there. My ex descended into booze and drugs in an amazingly rapid time and made my decision really easy. Living through the span leading up to and soon after the divorce was not quite so easy.

Tough for me, devastating for my kids.

My advice, for whatever it may be worth, is that if you really are serious go ahead and make your decision early and avoid further accumulated pain and expense. I'll bet you'll be far more able to cope with the unexpected turns of your future without her than you presently believe you can.

Whatever you decide, good luck with it. Sounds like any decision will be kinda painful, but at least one way leads to your freedom.
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Fuck Doctor Phil, I am going with Doctor Max! Always on point!
 
Yeah, it's tough man. I think we agreed to separate when she gets her permanent residency and we both have enough cash to move along with our lives separately. I told her that if things turn around in the next 16 months or so, and we are happy, then we'll stay together. Otherwise, I won't waste my life being miserable more time than not.
 
Man I met 3 hotties today at work who share similar interests. Artsy and Fitness oriented. Man wish I was single and had my own pad!
 
Turnover;437890 said:
There are always going to be bitches. Handle your business the sooner the better.
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Yeah there are always going to be bitches, and I just now realized how HAPPY bitches make me compared to my wife. I just feel so shitty around her to be honest. We just don't clash, too much built up resentment towards each other. I am getting out ASAP!

MAXAMEYES;437891 said:
The irony of this statement just cracksa me the fukk up!
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I had to read that twice haha.
 
Sizerp,

If you're really serious some advice I'll give ya is this:
1. No matter how disgusted and/or pissed she may make you KEEP your composure. NEVER give her a reason to have yer ass arrested.

2. Take notes, sometimes the gloves come off in court, it can get ugly and, you always bring a gun to a knife fight...always.

3. Find yourself a lawyer who can be dispassionately ruthless. Sometimes it comes down the who has the best lawyer and sometimes that comes down to which lawyer can anticipate the others ruthlessness better.

Now, of course, if you two can actually split up amicably then this advice really won't apply, and, for your sake, I hope that's the case.

But if it ain't...
 
MAXAMEYES;437898 said:
Sizerp,

If you're really serious some advice I'll give ya is this:
1. No matter how disgusted and/or pissed she may make you KEEP your composure. NEVER give her a reason to have yer ass arrested.

2. Take notes, sometimes the gloves come off in court, it can get ugly and, you always bring a gun to a knife fight...always.

3. Find yourself a lawyer who can be dispassionately ruthless. Sometimes it comes down the who has the best lawyer and sometimes that comes down to which lawyer can anticipate the others ruthlessness better.

Now, of course, if you two can actually split up amicably then this advice really won't apply, and, for your sake, I hope that's the case.

But if it ain't...
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Thanks sincerely. This is great advice. I will start taking notes and try to prepare as best as possible. Hopefully we'll be able to do this in a civil manner!
 
MAXAMEYES;437898 said:
3. Find yourself a lawyer who can be dispassionately ruthless.
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Thats easy, be sure it's a female, all of them are dispassionately ruthless!
 
doublelongdaddy;437991 said:
Thats easy, be sure it's a female, all of them are dispassionately ruthless!
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lol, ALMOST all of them, ok maybe all of them at least at one time or another. Either way, keen observation and very likely true.
 
Just my 2 cents. My ex was romanian (kind of thhe same :) )

They usually think different when it comes to relationship.
And they usually expect the man to be in charge and take their place as a women with a honor and respect you can only love them for.

But if this is the case she walks around right now being pissed at you for not setting up something to do. She needs a alpha male and expects him to take care of her as a lady.

She has e role of a women your the role of a man. And the man allways leads the dance!!

Im just talking out of experience. And if you dont have feelings anymore and you just got sick of her. Then nvm.

But if your in doubt then try and work it out. I garantee you that if she in anyway wants you then making homemade pasta. With shrimps in tomato sauce and 2 glasses of red whine will kick up the interest.

Not saying your her clown from now on. But do show her that you can go out for a good time. And enjoy it

Perhaps it is just a misunderstanding? Do understand that taking this conclusion is fairly hard since i have like 5% of what is going on. But i think it is worth considering.
 
Aimingforthetop;438058 said:
Just my 2 cents. My ex was romanian (kind of thhe same :) )

They usually think different when it comes to relationship.
And they usually expect the man to be in charge and take their place as a women with a honor and respect you can only love them for.

But if this is the case she walks around right now being pissed at you for not setting up something to do. She needs a alpha male and expects him to take care of her as a lady.

She has e role of a women your the role of a man. And the man allways leads the dance!!

Im just talking out of experience. And if you dont have feelings anymore and you just got sick of her. Then nvm.

But if your in doubt then try and work it out. I garantee you that if she in anyway wants you then making homemade pasta. With shrimps in tomato sauce and 2 glasses of red whine will kick up the interest.

Not saying your her clown from now on. But do show her that you can go out for a good time. And enjoy it

Perhaps it is just a misunderstanding? Do understand that taking this conclusion is fairly hard since i have like 5% of what is going on. But i think it is worth considering.
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We've had many misunderstandings that I can work around with her. I have the ability to get along with her, but I honestly don't WANT to put in the work. I no longer desire her as my lover, companion, or family member.

I will always have some shred of love for her in my heart, due to what we've been through together. But overall, I just want to be FREE!
 
I forgot to mention, my wife went traveling with the family she nanny's for, and will be gone until August 1st. That's a whole 4-5 weeks of singleness! I am psyched. Also, about a week ago we agreed to get a divorce in December of this year. I wanted to do it sooner but she said December, so I'll play along until then.

As soon as we made this agreement, she started acting super nice to me, and telling me she loves me and all this shit randomly, and I can see in her eyes she's sad, not depressed sad, but like, heartache sad. I treat her very formally, and I still say "luv ya" when necessary but I have a feeling this is the correct path for us. Why do women always want what they can't have? The absence of my love seems to be driving her to an early sainthood or something.

It really sucks that we aren't going to get her permanent papers after all the time and money she spent going through the process (and effort too on both our parts) but that's not the reason we should be staying together. Plus, I don't want to get a divorce right after she's permanent and then go to prison for looking like a fraud.

In general I feel overwhelming happiness to have the end goal in my sights. It's a combination of excitement and mild comfort knowing I am not stuck in this relationship for the rest of my life. I told myself I wouldn't fuck her, but I think that's a bit unrealistic because she wants me often enough, and I figured I may as well try to keep her happy so she doesn't try and of that girl bullshit on me, like getting pregnant to keep me around, but then again that's a perfect reason to NOT fuck her I guess.

I'll have to tighten my reigns a bit more now when she returns. Also, while she's gone I am setting up the guest bedroom, so I can sleep there instead of sharing a bed with her. Now to find a cheap bedset!
 
Women always want what they can't have! Men try so hard to get women when all they need to do is acknowledge them then ignore them.
 
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