Not sure where to start. Ive lost a son, my father and my job. I've gained about 100 pounds, on medication for anxiety depression and high blood pressure. I need to be strong for my family but its not easy. Been talking to a therapist to unload the weight on my shoulders but its not helping. Some-days I don't want to get out of bed others not sure if I want to be alive. I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself. I'm tired. Needed to vent.
In a nutshell.....
- Thread starter daironmonk
- Start date
LONGERDICK7+
Active Member
Who am i to say this but i do understand your situation,i have known of people that have taken the"easy way out" and is quite sad and terrible thing to happen,I have dealt whit those feelings too and i know how does it feel..
The words you have written below are way too useful because they can help us to continue,We should be strong we are all here to support each other... One day the at the Time..
The words you have written below are way too useful because they can help us to continue,We should be strong we are all here to support each other... One day the at the Time..
daironmonk;726886 said:
I can relate on many levels and it took me many years to get this under control. First let me say, God bless you and the struggles you have dealt with, you are pressing on where many would give up. Loosing your Son? That is a tragedy beyond any, a parent should never outlive their child. I lost my Father also and this was a very difficult thing to get through too and gaining all that weight is expected! The medication, the depression, the lack of motivation, etc. I also understand not knowing the man in the mirror and this, in a way, is a good thing. After what you have gone through I would not want to recognize him! I can give you advice based on my own experience and I hope it helps and does not insult.
I suffered with these issues since 1994. I have spent much of the time over these 23 years in the hospital trying to deal with extreme depression and constant suicidal tendencies. I have been diagnosed with everything under the Son and I have taken every possible combination of medications to help. None of this helped, nothing changed for me until I made a very special relationship with Jesus. It is hard to describe but in my dedication to the Passion of Jesus I have leaned to shadow my problems with His sufferings. This has not only helped me make sense of this but also give me tools to deal with it. Strange, for most of the years I heard so many voices in my head until I found Christ and now His voice has replaced the many that were there taunting me for years. I am not a church goer, I have no religious denomination, I simply love Jesus and in this I have received many graces in my sufferings. Jesus is a very cool guy, He is much like us here, in the Brotherhood, He loves you and wants to help you. I would approach Him as you would a buddy because that is what He is, your buddy who will be there for you and get you to and through this and into a new man.
You will also receive much support from your Brothers here who will direct you through experience and love. We truly are an all accepting family and our main goal is always to help our Brothers no matter what the issue. You would think a PE site would not dive into such issues but I knew early on in my PE that my penis was not my problem, my problem was me. The Brotherhood has helped me admit the truth, disclose my personal problems and receive help, love and support. We want you to be happy and we will do what every it takes to get you there.
Lastly, are you on any medication for psychological reasons?
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
One will never know their 'true' strength until faced with life-altering tragedy. I'm deeply saddened for your loss, but I'm also incredibly encouraged by the mere fact of you reaching-out. This represents an inner-strength that few will ever have to muster, and also shows an honesty of self...I can't imagine the amount of courage it takes just to wake-up.
For whatever reason, life has brought you this pain...in an odd way, you may have just been privileged to events that will allow you to morph/grow into the man you NEED to be. Grief will come and go and each person has their own schedule for healing, but make today a 'beginning' instead of 'an end'.
We're here
For whatever reason, life has brought you this pain...in an odd way, you may have just been privileged to events that will allow you to morph/grow into the man you NEED to be. Grief will come and go and each person has their own schedule for healing, but make today a 'beginning' instead of 'an end'.
We're here
To those who have replied, it's appreciated. I just don't know where to go from here. And no DLD not currently on any psych meds.
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daironmonk;726979 said:
Medication can be a HUGE help if the right medication is used. It took me a long time to get to a combination that worked perfectly for me. Before I was properly medicated I was out of commission 6 months out of the year. Today I am 100% and every issue I thought would never change has changed. The medications I take are:
Wellbutrin
Serequel
Lamictal
Klonopine
This combination covers every possible issue with the least side effects. As a matter of fact Wellbutrin has some very positive side effects being weight loss and makes quitting smoking very easy (I have quit).
The next piece is getting a good therapist. One that you can relate to and be intimate with. A bad counselor is like a infection, it will only get worse. A good counselor will be on your level and speak to you as a person, not a client. It should be someone you feel comfortable in every way with. My counselor is awesome as she is blind which makes honesty much easier for me. She has helped me as much as the medication. The next part is also advisable and that is using us, the Brotherhood, to help you along too. I have said this many times, but we are all here for one another and this environment is like nothing you have ever experienced. We are a true family, a true Brotherhood that loves and cares for each other.
I will continue to pray for you and I hope that we can really help you!
God Bless You my Brother
So I met with my Dr. yesterday and he prescribed Cymbalta, hopefully it helps and I can move forward.
daironmonk;727211 said:
Be patient with yourself and take an inventory of how you feel in all situations, if you feel that in anyway the side effects outweigh the benefits try something new. Do not waste months on something that will not work. I wasted so much time on meds that did nothing for me but cause worse issues. Today I am on just the right cocktail (after 23 years!). My life has improved 100%. I will be here for you so please keep me up on your condition, I want you to get better asap.
Wow thank you
Another Doctors visit today to schedule with the Psych in the intensive program to evaluate the meds I'm on currently. Broke down yesterday and had an emergency visit to the doctors office. which led up to it. And to top it off my EQ is shit at this point. Wifey says she understands but Im freaking crushed. Hopefully a med adjustment will get me on track. Cant get much worse at this point.
daironmonk;727549 said:
Keep the faith Brother you are doing the right thing! Demand that your medications not interfere with your PE/Sex life. For example, before Wellbutrin I was on Zoloft which I was not able to get erections or cum, it sucked big time. I demanded a change! Wellbutrin did the trick. I was this was with every medication until they got it perfect. Today I live a very good life because of the medication cocktail that has been perfected for me. Next, never, ever feel bad about going to the hospital, I usually spend 3-6 months a year in the psych ward! (No Joke) I work from there but for 15 years I have needed it. For the past 2.5 years I have not been to the hospital because of the medications. Also, do not sleep on the cognitive part, medication is only one piece, cognitive work is the other.
Here is a page that gives some cognitive practices that will really help: Top Ten Natural Antidepressants
Today I have felt better than I have in a long time. Out of the hospital back home and somewhat focused. Meds got changed, a plan is in place and Im moving forward. Hopefully it gets better but Ill take what I have for the time being. Still havent been able to hit the gym yet but have my workout on paper which is a start. Have my PE workout on paper and got more equipment for my shop. Far from normal but a helluva lot better.
daironmonk;732846 said:
One moment at a time my Brother, one moment because that is all you have! One day is far too long as is an hour or minute! The moment is where your power is, in this moment there is nothing wrong, in this moment you are better, in this moment I am praying for you! It took me a very long time to get my medication and life straight but since I finally was able to do this I feel like a completely new person. Let me be your beacon of hope knowing that someone like me, who has every issue in every issue of every DSM
If I can get better anyone can! I give much of the credit to my getting better to first God, than my Family and Brotherhood. With the 3 supports in my life I am always good, 'in the moment'Thank you bruddah
Still making progress, some good days, some horrible but I'm still here. Slowly getting back in the gym, slowly getting some PE in when i'm up to it, trying to live again.
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Just read your thread daironmonk and I am sorry for your loss. It is good to see that you are taking things one day at a time and getting back to the activities that will improve your health. Keep everyone posted on how things are going. The brothers at [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] are always available to help when needed
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
Like L4g said...we're all here in your corner and pulling for you
Appreciate it fellas don't really have anyway to talk to, don't want to burden the wife anymore than I already have.
daironmonk;749979 said:
The brotherhood here at [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] is always ready to listen
My deppression is very bad, I found about pe 2 years ago and tried it and dident gain. I'm 20 years old I graduated highschool 2 years ago for those 2 years I told myself I would gain and dident there s has been this girl I been wanting to sleep with but can't because my lack in size of my dick should i try hanging to achieve six or not, I am still a virgin becuase of my insecurity with myself.
DieselHead;750821 said:
What are your measurements now Diesel?
I am 6.5 x 5.5 the same as before
DieselHead;750873 said:
That is above average measurements. Just curious but what makes you think that this girl you are wanting to sleep with would not be satisfied with your size?
DieselHead;750821 said:
You have some work to do on your confidence my Brother! I used to be in the same spot and depression is very debilitating. Looking down on yourself and worrying on size has not helped. I think you should start all over with a different outlook. Put together a creative routine that will keep you in the game. I also think you should start a cycle of DBT, this was the best way for me to crush the depression and bring myself to a much more stable level. There are many articles in the Mental Penis Enlargement section that will truly help you get yourself to a much more stable place. Have you seen a psychiatrist for medication yet?
I want to wow this girl. She is very hot and I feel like she has had bigger penises than mine.
DieselHead;750982 said:
Gain my Brother gain! Get on the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?64036-My-Best-Work-Ever-Penis-Enlargement-will-Be-Changed-Forever-gt-gt-Gain%20inches%20with%20SRT-Theory-and-Routine]SRT[/words] routine and prepare a penis proper for this woman! If you want to gain you got to get in the game!
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
Big Schwanz Acht;751034 said:
Guilty, just can't leave my room, lol
doublelongdaddy;751170 said:Look in the mirror and do some cock swinging! It works!
I have done that, gets a chuckle out of my wife when I do that
doublelongdaddy;751262 said:When she hears you slapping that monster against your leg she goes crazy at the sound!
That always gets me that look and is usually followed by, "do you want to put that somewhere" lol
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
doublelongdaddy;751262 said:When she hears you slapping that monster against your leg she goes crazy at the sound!
like effin' cat-nip, lol
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
Lookn4girth;751267 said:
'uh, yes'...
Still not completely under control but more good days then bad days lately. Considering they were all bad days before Im not sure if it counts or not but i guess its progress. A little more pe in lately, reached my 6" girth marker even tho it feels uneventful. Still not as focused as before and still triggered by sounds at times. I dunno just memory dumping here.