Being an "Authentic" Alpha Male

[DLD]

As you know from reading my other articles,
women are attracted to men they can respect.
A respect worthy man is often called an
"alpha male." Like the alpha males in a pack
of wolves, these men are considered to be
socially superior to other males and more
desirable to the females.

Generally, these are the men that are natural
leaders, they are dominant, and they are
aggressive. But, let's face it, because of
their innate personality and disposition some
guys aren't EVER going to be able to be the
"dominant" alpha male type... no matter what
they try to do.

What about them? Are they stuck living out
their lives as "beta males" who are stepped
on, disrespected, and ignored by women?

No, not at all. In fact, these otherwise
"beta males" can actually get MORE respect
than the typical "alpha male." I'll show you
why later in this article.

But first, what is an "alpha male"? Is an
alpha male defined by a set of behaviors? Or
is an alpha male defined by the benefits he
receives (respect, admiration, attention,
etc.)?

I would say that an alpha male is defined by
the benefits and that is critical - the
behaviors are just a means of achieving the
benefits. And therein lies the key for you
{FIRSTNAME}...

There is more than one way to be the alpha
male.

 

[DLD]

>>> ALPHA APPROACH NUMBER 1:

Typically people think of the alpha male as
the athletic, popular guy that is always the
center of attention whenever there is a
gathering of people. When a guy disrespects
him he is quick to get in his face - the
challenger usually backs down quickly,
intimidated by his dominant mannerisms.

Most people would agree that this is a
description of alpha male.

But, let me give you another, slightly
different, picture of what could be an alpha
male - you decide if you agree...

>>> ALPHA APPROACH NUMBER 2:

He's rarely the center of attention. He's not
particularly good-looking or muscular. But,
the funny thing is... when he has something
to say people listen. People listen because
they respect him. They respect him because he
radiates strength and positivism. The
strength is a result of being so secure and
confident with who he is. He's genuine, real,
and authentic. People can't help but notice
and admire that. He has clear boundaries.
Guys don't mess with him because he doesn't
mess with them. Women notice that guys don't
mess with him, they notice that when he
talks, though it's not often, people listen
to what he has to say. Women admire this
quiet power and are drawn to it. No, he's not
the type draw crowds with his extroverted
antics, and he's not going to go around
challenging all the other guys in "the pack,"
he's not that type... and he's perfectly fine
with that. He's not out for other peoples
acceptance, he doesn't need other people's
approval because he is confident with
himself.

To me, the second guy is more of an alpha
male than the first guy we talked about. In
fact, I think he is 10 times the man that the
other guy is. The aggressive behavior the
other guy displays could be considered
insecure (which repels women). This type of
behavior seems especially insecure in
comparison to the second guy.

You may not be the type to get
up in the middle of a crowd and start telling
jokes, you may not be the type who is willing
to fight other guys to communicate your
status, but that doesn't mean you can't get
all the respect you deserve.

I pity the guys that try to be an alpha male
(using Alpha Approach Number 1) when it goes
against their nature. They end up coming off
as very fake - the respect they are seeking
eludes them... and always will as long as
they aren't being themselves.

So, I suppose the underlying message of this
article is that you should always be genuine
- our human ability to sense fakeness is
uncanny so don't think that you are fooling
anyone by trying to be someone other than
yourself.

If you want to impress women, if you want the
respect of women, if you want to attract
women to you, then practice being more like
yourself and stop trying to be like something
that you aren't.

Be happy and content with who you are.

It sounds cheesy and trite but I hope that
from this article you can see just how
important that message is to your success not
only with women, but with making friends, and
advancing in your career.

People seek out others who are authentic as
friends, lovers, and partners - they trust
these people more, they admire them, and they
like them.

Why be anything but yourself?

 

[German Stallion]

DLD, awesome post, very insightful. I agree 100%. GS

 

[Godsize]

Keep going!

 

[whtballa18]

DLD is secretly a genius. DLD is an Alpha Male. I totally agree with you

i've never been the type to start fights, but i do usually win them, and that wins respect

alot of girls like me (i may or may not be an alpha male) because i play hard to get, whereas anyone else would just be all over a girl, i make the finest girls want me cuz i have that "mysterious" and "quiet but confident" attitude.

i don't have a big dick to back it up though, that's what i'm trying to get though

 

[Shafty]

I agree, these are probably some of the wisest words that have ever been spoken on this forum. Personally I NEVER go for the Alpha Approach 1. ,simply because it would be going against everything that makes me who I am. Now I am a muscular and extremely good looking man (at least that's what they tell me, hehe! Not trying to sound too cocky...blame it on the genes! ), but I don't think that those qualtities are what attract the ladies to me. I think it's more because I NEVER feel the need to show off or act like a jerk to get attention, and I am always my own, honest self in any given situation. No playing any roles or pretending to be someone else. That also pisses a lot of people off, because sometimes I'm a bit too outspoken with my opinions, and certain people just can't stand that. Not that I ever belittle other people or try to rise above them, but still, that kind of honesty gets on the nerves of other, less genuine individuals.

I guess you could say that I come off as the guy who always tries to treat people with equal respect, just as long as they return the favor. Just like DLD stated: being your honest, own self without any gimmics is what appeals to people and gains you respect.

I'm also very good at recognizing type 1 ''Alpha Males'' whenever I meet them, and I do my very best to try and avoid associating with them, because the one single quality I cannot and will not tolerate in people is arrogance. Especially if it's for superficial reasons (looks, money, ''status'' etc). The same goes for girls, too. If I, for example, see a beautiful woman, the first thing I'll pay attention to about her is her demeanor and the way she carries herself. If I see ANY signs of arrogant, bitchy stuck-up behavior, I don't take a second look at her, no matter how attractive she may be physically. It just instantly kills my respect for that person.

 

[j-penis]

I am this, I am that..... rofl



Guys, you are being EXACTLY what you say you aren't. rofl

Basically, if you've got it, SHUT IT. Let your actions speak for themselves (which isn't possible to see on a web board... that reinforces the original point - just keep quiet about it, for you have nothing to prove).



Edit: Oops, I forgot to say that I totally agree with DLD. Thumbs up!

 

[penguinsfan]

I'm definitely more of what you just described. I'm not a raging testosterone-overloaded alpha male like many think of. However, I do know that I am respected and command a certain amount of attention within my peer groups.

 

[Shafty]

Guys, you are being EXACTLY what you say you aren't

No, not true. IF I had left the 'looking good and handsome'-part out of my post you wouldn't be saying that. Of course I don't NEED to prove anything (the same can't be said for Whtballa though: half of his posts contain bragging about how he gets into fights with blacks and kicks their asses), I was JUST trying to say that EVEN though I AM very handsome (which I cannot, and need not prove to you) I DON'T let it get to my head. I still remain a humble, honest person, and don't try to act like I'm the hottest thing around.

-EDIT-

Oh yeah, and don't let my avatar fool you! Chucky Pancamo was my favorite character in OZ, but I am nothing like him.

 

[crzy_young_gun]

But the truth is if you get challenged to fight and you wuss out your chance of laying any chick around you would go to hell. Because if you don't then they will sense of lower value from you and head towards the more alpha guy. Ofcourse that doesnt mean you should start a fight and you'll get laid but dont be a pussy and back down when someone pushes your buttons. I never hit a guy first only when some one touches me do i kick their ass and i have always been respected.

 

[Shafty]

crzy_young_gun,
you see, certain patterns of behavior draw these wanna be alpha-males out of the woodwork to challenge you to a fight: for example, acting like an cocky prick, being disrespectful and elevating yourself above your peers etc.

Now, I don't mean to disrespect YOU, but from what I can glean from your posts, you seem to be a posterboy for the Wannabe Alpha-Male club... talking about getting into the adult entertainment industry, getting laid at the snap of your fingers and so on... that, my man, is what pisses people off and provokes these ''rival males'' to challenge you.

I don't have that problem (I act myself, I don't act in an insulting manner, and my calm, yet confident attitude usually discourages other men from provoking me), so I rarely get into fights. Besides, I get more chicks than I could dream of just by being myself. If I were to change that and start acting like an asshole (like you suggest in your ''How to become a player'' thread), the girls would lose interest. I know that would happen because I was like that a few years ago. No luck with the ladies back then. All of that bravado and boisture was only a front to hide my poor self confidence, but now that I have plenty of it I no longer feel the need to compensate by acting that way.
Now I'm not saying that YOU have poor self-confidence, but I am suggesting that perhaps your confidence is built on the wrong things?

I've only gotten into a fight twice after my teen years, and both times were started by the other guy, totally unprovoked. I'm a bodybuilder, and when you look a certain way you're bound to invoke a rival fury in certain meatheads. Well, both fights happened while I was clubbing. It didn't take me much effort at all to knock these yahoos senseless, but I never felt good about myself while doing it. It sure as hell isn't something you should be proud of, or something you should brag about to your friends. And it sure as hell shouldn't be done to impress the ladies. I mean c'mon, there are more sophisticated ways of doing that.

I usually talk myself out of a fight if such a situation arises, without any feelings of being a wuss or lacking in the balls department. I come out of the situation more of a man than the other guy could ever be, because I know I'm above resorting to violence, unless it is the only option. And if that happens, I know I'm more than capable of defending myself.

 

[crzy_young_gun]

Originally posted by Shafty
Now, I don't mean to disrespect YOU, but from what I can glean from your posts, you seem to be a posterboy for the Wannabe Alpha-Male club... talking about getting into the adult entertainment industry, getting laid at the snap of your fingers and so on... that, my man, is what pisses people off and provokes these ''rival males'' to challenge you.

No offence taken bro, but i dont concider myself a "Wannabe Alpha-Male". And no i dont get girls at the snap of my fingers, although that would be nice

What i was trying to say in that thread is that "being yourself" will rarely get you laid. Because most guys dont display a sense of value thats high enough to compete with the chicks sense of value which leads her to think that she can do better than you and that your just another guy trying to hit it. You on the other hand seem to have naturaly picked this up since you get laid whenever you want as well. But a VERY HIGH percentage of males are AFC's, and you cant change that its just the way it is.
Trust me i know my shit when it comes down to seduction ive been at this shit since the 10th grade (currently frosh in college) and i was one of the first people on the fastseduction forums. Ive met up and seen the styles of many talented PUA's such as TD, Papa, MrNYC and they all started off like you. Thinking that they had enough women in their lives and that being themselves was truely "the key". 4-6 yrs later they are COMEPLETELY different people who get laid WHENEVER they want and could shit on David D'Angelo if they were out on a sarge. They hold seminars and when their out sargin they know their shit.

Now about the fighting thing...i havent gotten into a fight in 2 years and the last time i got into a fight it was because the guy was drunk and held a knife at me for no reason, so believe me when i say i dont enjoy fighting, but i sure as hell wont backdown when someone steps either, thats just the way i am. And no i dont give people bad vibes when i enter sets. I usually befriend the males in a set before mackin the girls because they could cockblock me otherwise and they have more power over the females in the since theyve known them for longer. So when i leave a party i usually have a couple #'s, a couple of chicks to go home with , and a couple of friends made.

 

[crzy_young_gun]

Originally posted by Shafty
Now, I don't mean to disrespect YOU, but from what I can glean from your posts, you seem to be a posterboy for the Wannabe Alpha-Male club... talking about getting into the adult entertainment industry, getting laid at the snap of your fingers and so on... that, my man, is what pisses people off and provokes these ''rival males'' to challenge you.

No offense taken bro, but i don't consider myself a "Wannabe Alpha-Male". And no i don't get girls at the snap of my fingers, although that would be nice

What i was trying to say in that thread is that "being yourself" will rarely get you laid. Because most guys don't display a sense of value thats high enough to compete with the chicks sense of value which leads her to think that she can do better than you and that your just another guy trying to hit it. You on the other hand seem to have naturally picked this up since you get laid whenever you want as well. But a VERY HIGH percentage of males are AFC's, and you cant change that its just the way it is.
Trust me i know my shit when it comes down to seduction Ive been at this shit since the 10th grade (currently frosh in college) and i was one of the first people on the fast-seduction forums. Ive met up and seen the styles of many talented PUA's such as TD, Papa, Mr NYC and they all started off like you. Thinking that they had enough women in their lives and that being themselves was truly "the key". 4-6 yrs later they are COMPLETELY different people who get laid WHENEVER they want and could shit on David D'Angelo if they were out on a sarge. They hold seminars and when their out sargin they know their shit.

Now about the fighting thing...i haven't gotten into a fight in 2 years and the last time i got into a fight it was because the guy was drunk and held a knife at me for no reason, so believe me when i say i don't enjoy fighting, but i sure as hell wont back down when someone steps either, thats just the way i am. And no i don't give people bad vibes when i enter sets. I usually befriend the males in a set before making the girls because they could cockblock me otherwise and they have more power over the females in the set since they've known them for longer. So when i leave a party i usually have a couple #'s, a couple of chicks to go home with , and a couple of friends made.

 

[crzy_young_gun]

By the way Shafty i recommend you read up some basic C&F. Double Your Dating by David D'Angelo should get ya on the right track.

 

[Shafty]

Alright, fair enough man... my bad!
Just a slight misinterpretation on my part... you seem like a good guy after all. I just got a bad vibe from you at first... but hey, you've proven me wrong!

I still can't say that I agree 100% with you on what you said about picking up chicks... though the site you mentioned might be worth taking a look at... who knows, maybe there is more for me to learn?

 

[ozbuckley]

Another step along is to even look at the type #1 and #2 not as you're either one or the other but to be flexible enough to inhabit both (if you desire).

'Being yourself' is the biggest part of it hands down. Accepting oneself and always being on the road of growth (sounds paradoxical) is HUGE!

When you accept yourself you start accepting others for just the way they are... and this is rarer than a diamond these days. People pick up on this and feel free to be themselves around you.

A lot of it is unraveling large amounts social conditioning.

 

[DLD]

Old post but good.

 

[REDZULU2003]

Looking back on this I think much of it is overenthusiastic to the extent we are running from the raw animal emotion like the rest of the jungle. Sure we get the emotion but we have the INTELLIGENCE to override it and know more of our environment to simply be sucked in by the more macho larger stronger confident male ... its not all about that, if it was than the shy, skinny, less stronger and more feminine males would have all died out and they have not.

Much of these programmes touted by guys on line are I think more of a cover for all of us males insecurities with women somewhere, either deep down or on the surface. We than believe it because everyone one of us at some stage has seen the 'alpha' male get the woman right? but think about it and you see guys who are normal, dont have alpha qualities getting laid. I think we are all Alpha males in our own way but get dragged into this archaic way of thinking in comparison to lions and such, so assume alpha male is X and Y when really it needn't be so otherwise many 'genres' of man would have died ... we are all UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS so be proud of that.

 

[DLD]

Alpha Males does not mean of all men but more of a specific group where he ranks high in positive "group" attributes. You could say that Mike is an Alpha Male in group (A) while Redzulu is Alpha Male in group (R) while Jim an Alpha Male in group (G), All would be Alpha Males while none really treading on the others high ranking qualities. Conflict happens when the Alpha Male of a specific group becomes challenged by another in hopes of his position. Of course, as natural selection suggests, the strong will survive while the weaker of the two will have to become a lower ranking member or move on to another group.

 

[REDZULU2003]

I understand this but as humans we don't abide as strictly to this like the animal kingdom because we have higher intelligence and know not to go off just those instincts but sure I get the point. Its more prominent in gangs, sports and places that have order but not to the extremes like a pack of lions or gorillas in the jungle, although the prisons are another matter I presume!

 

[DLD]

good shit

 

[MAXAMEYES]

Personally, I like the term, concept and process of: "self-actualization".

 

[Bam2786]

DLD (and everyone else)

Have you ever read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss?

It is about the art of seduction and they "underground" world of it. Silly as it may sound, its an incredible book.
Anyways there is a section in the book about "disarming" these Alpha Males (the 1st type you referred to) so thats what made me what to bring up this book.

I suggest it to everyone. If anything else, it is just a fun and interesting read.

 

[Lex Wayne]

Becoming an alpha male is so much more. It is the realization that we have to take back "being a man". We have to become who we are meant to be and not that BS that modern women think they want us to be. This is about being authentic and isn't about anything else, frankly.