ManPlan86 Routine and Progress

Questions for the vets on supplements if you dont mind. @Haursen @oldandlively what are your thoughts on what I have been taking?

I mentioned above I was taking a supplement to improve EQ and hopefully keep good blood flow and healing nutrition.

Serving size is 4 Soft Gels/day


Amount per serving breakdown is:
L-Citruline 1500mg
MCT oil 1000mg
Pumpkin Oil 1000mg
Velvet Bean Extract 400mg
Gingko Extract 120mg
L-Theanine 100mg
Theobromine 92mg
Asian Ginseng extract 80mg
Cayenne Powder 60mg
Superoxide Dismutase 50mg
BioPerine Complex 6mg

Are these all good and at appropriate dose levels, I think some like L-Citruline might be on the low side from what I have read other brothers are using?

I will be done with two week break this Saturday and plan to open a new bottle then.

I also started taking a horny goat weed with Maca supplement this last Sunday trying to improve the EQ. 3 days in and it seems to be improving a little.

Breakdown on that one is as follows:

Horny Goat weed extract 500mg
Maca Extract 150mg
Tribulus Terrestris Extract 100mg
Yohimbe Extract 40mg
L-Arginine HCI 40mg

What are thoughts on combining the two supplements?

I also daily take D3, Zinc, Magnesium, B12, multivitamin, and Vitamin C.
 
ManPlan86 said:
Morning routine:

In front of space heater:
5 minutes Jelq
5 minutes SSJ

4 sets pumping over 30 minutes in 1.75" inch cylinder-Climb to 5Hg within first minute, creap up to 8Hg in second minute, stay at 8Hg for 3 minutes. Kegel and reverse Kegel during. Slow release back down to 3Hg and start again for next set.

Small rest with light massage, kegel and SSJ then 5th set with 2" cylinder for 4 minute creep up to 10Hg.

Rest and massage then 6th set just cause I wanted to experiment back to 1.75" cylinder after squeezing and massaging. Barely fit and had to go in semi erect.

6th set lasted 10 minutes, and got pressure up to 5Hg and then slow creeped for a minute up to 8Hg. Held 8Hg for a minute then slowly up to 9Hg for 30 seconds, back down to 8Hg for a minute, then continued the up to 9Hg and back down to 8Hg remainder of 10 minutes.

On the sixth set, I was the closest to 8" length I have been, just over 7.75". Coming out, I was super fat but not feeling any fluid retention.

Put on the C-ring and warmed down in the shower to get ready for work.

Silistretcher on for the day after shower.
Click to expand...
This is my standard morning routine.

Sometimes cut down without 5th and 6th pump with 2" cylinder depending on how much time I have in my morning.

Silistretcher on every morning and on all day until I take off pants at end of day.
 
ManPlan86 said:
Questions for the vets on supplements if you dont mind. @Haursen @oldandlively what are your thoughts on what I have been taking?

I mentioned above I was taking a supplement to improve EQ and hopefully keep good blood flow and healing nutrition.

Serving size is 4 Soft Gels/day


Amount per serving breakdown is:
L-Citruline 1500mg
MCT oil 1000mg
Pumpkin Oil 1000mg
Velvet Bean Extract 400mg
Gingko Extract 120mg
L-Theanine 100mg
Theobromine 92mg
Asian Ginseng extract 80mg
Cayenne Powder 60mg
Superoxide Dismutase 50mg
BioPerine Complex 6mg

Are these all good and at appropriate dose levels, I think some like L-Citruline might be on the low side from what I have read other brothers are using?

I will be done with two week break this Saturday and plan to open a new bottle then.

I also started taking a horny goat weed with Maca supplement this last Sunday trying to improve the EQ. 3 days in and it seems to be improving a little.

Breakdown on that one is as follows:

Horny Goat weed extract 500mg
Maca Extract 150mg
Tribulus Terrestris Extract 100mg
Yohimbe Extract 40mg
L-Arginine HCI 40mg

What are thoughts on combining the two supplements?

I also daily take D3, Zinc, Magnesium, B12, multivitamin, and Vitamin C.
Click to expand...
Thank you kindly for asking for my opinion. I'm honored!

Whoa...like Sage @oldandlively will most likely say that's a lot of supps.

I am gathering that your EQ has been hit lately? If so, what are your negative stress levels been like? Have you felt rushed to make love to your wife?

Regarding the supps (if this were me), I would focus on what I call the foundations (the non-negotiables): multivitamin (preferably organic and whole food), whey protein (preferably grass fed and organic), and creatine (preferably creapure).

Then start slowly testing the other supplements by adding one at a time. You will need to experiment on what makes an impact and what doesn't. My concern is that most supps may compete with others or you will lose a lot through urination.
 
ManPlan86 said:
Questions for the vets on supplements if you dont mind. @Haursen @oldandlively what are your thoughts on what I have been taking?

I mentioned above I was taking a supplement to improve EQ and hopefully keep good blood flow and healing nutrition.

Serving size is 4 Soft Gels/day


Amount per serving breakdown is:
L-Citruline 1500mg
MCT oil 1000mg
Pumpkin Oil 1000mg
Velvet Bean Extract 400mg
Gingko Extract 120mg
L-Theanine 100mg
Theobromine 92mg
Asian Ginseng extract 80mg
Cayenne Powder 60mg
Superoxide Dismutase 50mg
BioPerine Complex 6mg

Are these all good and at appropriate dose levels, I think some like L-Citruline might be on the low side from what I have read other brothers are using?

I will be done with two week break this Saturday and plan to open a new bottle then.

I also started taking a horny goat weed with Maca supplement this last Sunday trying to improve the EQ. 3 days in and it seems to be improving a little.

Breakdown on that one is as follows:

Horny Goat weed extract 500mg
Maca Extract 150mg
Tribulus Terrestris Extract 100mg
Yohimbe Extract 40mg
L-Arginine HCI 40mg

What are thoughts on combining the two supplements?

I also daily take D3, Zinc, Magnesium, B12, multivitamin, and Vitamin C.
Click to expand...
As brother @Haursen indicated, foundation supplements are the keys to your system's overall sustainability. What you system don't need, it will be flushed out in access after it takes in all the necessary bioavailability loading. Example, say your body is in need of L-Arginine at 300mg, where it combines with other interactive supplements such as D3, zinc, B12, and VitC, the system will carry an extra payload of 150mg for bioavalability, and flush out the rest. If you consume 500mg, the remaining 50 is pushed out by the system.

Now, let's break things down a bit more.

L-citrulline is in competition with L-Arginine HCl. So, taking that extra doesn't mean much. L-Citrulline malate is much more readily absorble and easier conversion by the system than L-citrulline and/or L-arginine alone or in combo.

Pumpkin anything will be in conflict with the Maca extract.

Horny Goat Extract contains phytoestrogen, with will cause a decrease of bioavailable testosterone, which is also responsible for your EQ.

In regards to L-theanine, theobromine, and bioperine complex, great combo to take. If that's the case, HMB and daily dose of around 1600IU to 2000IU of VitD3 will boost the uptake of all these to synergize everything. Magnesium (hopefully it's in a citrate or higher absorbable form) will assist in delivering the components faster. I may even suggest a touch of 300mg of potassium to balance out with magnesium and B12 combo. Switch the B12 to B12 complex to cover your bases.

I may be missing something here. Sorry, I'm on vacation mode and I can't seem to switch gears to full scientific mode at the moment.
 
Haursen said:
Thank you kindly for asking for my opinion. I'm honored!

Whoa...like Sage @oldandlively will most likely say that's a lot of supps.

I am gathering that your EQ has been hit lately? If so, what are your negative stress levels been like? Have you felt rushed to make love to your wife?

Regarding the supps (if this were me), I would focus on what I call the foundations (the non-negotiables): multivitamin (preferably organic and whole food), whey protein (preferably grass fed and organic), and creatine (preferably creapure).

Then start slowly testing the other supplements by adding one at a time. You will need to experiment on what makes an impact and what doesn't. My concern is that most supps may compete with others or you will lose a lot through urination.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply. I follow your progress thread and know you are a supplement guy and why reinvent the wheel myself if there are those much smarter than I am!

I dont take all of these as one offs, I broke down what is in the off the shelf libido I was taking for 90 days, and the the horny goat weed which I picked up to give a try just this week which has the Maca and other add ins.

I have been a vitamin guy long before my PE journey started, and specifically take the vitamin D3 because the sun doesnt provide enough where I live up north. Have taken a multi vitamin and C for years just for good health. Zinc and magnesium I got after during Covid. Any yes, I even used ivermectin for a short time...:)

To answer your questions. Yes, EQ feels challenged. Waking up with morning wood happens rarely if ever. I can get hard after waking up a bit and going in to my morning routine but it's not as longlasting.

Not so much negative stress, more sadness or feeling of rejection from the wife. No ability to even rush sex as there hasn't been any in probably two months or so. Last sexual anything with her was two weeks ago and she rushed a hand job while we were on vacation. I was able to get to 95% hard or so then.

So you recommend dropping the extra supplements completely and starting whey protein and creatine?
 
oldandlively said:
As brother @Haursen indicated, foundation supplements are the keys to your system's overall sustainability. What you system don't need, it will be flushed out in access after it takes in all the necessary bioavailability loading. Example, say your body is in need of L-Arginine at 300mg, where it combines with other interactive supplements such as D3, zinc, B12, and VitC, the system will carry an extra payload of 150mg for bioavalability, and flush out the rest. If you consume 500mg, the remaining 50 is pushed out by the system.

Now, let's break things down a bit more.

L-citrulline is in competition with L-Arginine HCl. So, taking that extra doesn't mean much. L-Citrulline malate is much more readily absorble and easier conversion by the system than L-citrulline and/or L-arginine alone or in combo.

Pumpkin anything will be in conflict with the Maca extract.

Horny Goat Extract contains phytoestrogen, with will cause a decrease of bioavailable testosterone, which is also responsible for your EQ.

In regards to L-theanine, theobromine, and bioperine complex, great combo to take. If that's the case, HMB and daily dose of around 1600IU to 2000IU of VitD3 will boost the uptake of all these to synergize everything. Magnesium (hopefully it's in a citrate or higher absorbable form) will assist in delivering the components faster. I may even suggest a touch of 300mg of potassium to balance out with magnesium and B12 combo. Switch the B12 to B12 complex to cover your bases.

I may be missing something here. Sorry, I'm on vacation mode and I can't seem to switch gears to full scientific mode at the moment.
Click to expand...
As always, I appreciate the thoroughness of your response! I think I need to reread a couple times and after a night of sleep so I can process it all correctly and ask coherent questions!
 
ManPlan86 said:
To answer your questions. Yes, EQ feels challenged. Waking up with morning wood happens rarely if ever. I can get hard after waking up a bit and going in to my morning routine but it's not as longlasting.

Not so much negative stress, more sadness or feeling of rejection from the wife. No ability to even rush sex as there hasn't been any in probably two months or so. Last sexual anything with her was two weeks ago and she rushed a hand job while we were on vacation. I was able to get to 95% hard or so then.

So you recommend dropping the extra supplements completely and starting whey protein and creatine?
Click to expand...

Until you and your wife repair any riffs between each other, your EQ may continue to flatline. There is a reason why God said husband and wife are one flesh.

I suggest the multi, protein, creatine, and magnesium (another non-negotiable) for a few weeks and observe how your body responds.

I am the podcast king and can point to episodes on marriage help, protein, creatine, etc.

I'm here to help.🤓

P.S. I highly recommend my secret weapon... Perplexity AI... fantastic research assistant to use for Android, Apple, or the web. I have created folders (aka collections) on PE, supplements, women personas, etc. for personal research. It's like having your own personal @oldandlively at your fingertips! 😅

P.P.S. How is your sleep as well?
 
Last edited:
Haursen said:
Until you and your wife repair any riffs between each other, your EQ may continue to flatline. There is a reason why God said husband and wife are one flesh.

I suggest the multi, protein, creatine, and magnesium (another non-negotiable) for a few weeks and observe how your body responds.

I am the podcast king and can point to episodes on marriage help, protein, creatine, etc.

I'm here to help.🤓

P.S. I highly recommend my secret weapon... Perplexity AI... fantastic research assistant to use for Android, Apple, or the web. I have created folders (aka collections) on PE, supplements, women personas, etc. for personal research. It's like having your own personal @oldandlively at your fingertips! 😅

P.P.S. How is your sleep as well?
Click to expand...
As a Christian, I agree with the need to be one flesh. It's strange, as we dont have any riff going on per se, she just doesn't initiate and is not receptive to me. Almost like she has lost all desire to have intimacy or physical affection. I do think the sadness or disappointment I feel does impact my EQ.

We have a specialty health food store near by, I will work in a visit there to see about picking up a good protein and creatine supplement. I have always understood both to be used when doing more heavy weightlifting and full body workouts which I have to be honest, I dont make time for currently. I hadnt considered them before as I wasn't doing heavy workouts other than PE and regular daily exercise.

I have purchased and completed some Christian mens studies as well as more secular pod casts over the last year during my time of focus on self improvement. If you could message me any podcasts that you have found helpful or insightful I will definitely check them out.

I have just recently started dipping my toes in to the world of AI, will have to check out perplexity.

Sleep has been so-so... sometimes I spend hours laying in bed trying to fall asleep and get 4 hours or so. Last couple nights have been better and I have got 7-8 hours with usually one pee break somewhere in the middle of the night.
 
ManPlan86 said:
As a Christian, I agree with the need to be one flesh. It's strange, as we dont have any riff going on per se, she just doesn't initiate and is not receptive to me. Almost like she has lost all desire to have intimacy or physical affection. I do think the sadness or disappointment I feel does impact my EQ.

We have a specialty health food store near by, I will work in a visit there to see about picking up a good protein and creatine supplement. I have always understood both to be used when doing more heavy weightlifting and full body workouts which I have to be honest, I dont make time for currently. I hadnt considered them before as I wasn't doing heavy workouts other than PE and regular daily exercise.

I have purchased and completed some Christian mens studies as well as more secular pod casts over the last year during my time of focus on self improvement. If you could message me any podcasts that you have found helpful or insightful I will definitely check them out.

I have just recently started dipping my toes in to the world of AI, will have to check out perplexity.

Sleep has been so-so... sometimes I spend hours laying in bed trying to fall asleep and get 4 hours or so. Last couple nights have been better and I have got 7-8 hours with usually one pee break somewhere in the middle of the night.I
Click to expand...
❤️❤️❤️ all praise Jesus
 
ManPlan86 said:
As a Christian, I agree with the need to be one flesh. It's strange, as we dont have any riff going on per se, she just doesn't initiate and is not receptive to me. Almost like she has lost all desire to have intimacy or physical affection. I do think the sadness or disappointment I feel does impact my EQ.

We have a specialty health food store near by, I will work in a visit there to see about picking up a good protein and creatine supplement. I have always understood both to be used when doing more heavy weightlifting and full body workouts which I have to be honest, I dont make time for currently. I hadnt considered them before as I wasn't doing heavy workouts other than PE and regular daily exercise.

I have purchased and completed some Christian mens studies as well as more secular pod casts over the last year during my time of focus on self improvement. If you could message me any podcasts that you have found helpful or insightful I will definitely check them out.

I have just recently started dipping my toes in to the world of AI, will have to check out perplexity.

Sleep has been so-so... sometimes I spend hours laying in bed trying to fall asleep and get 4 hours or so. Last couple nights have been better and I have got 7-8 hours with usually one pee break somewhere in the middle of the night.
Click to expand...
Since the private messaging is not working, I'll post here because the information may help other committed married men here at MOS:

Podcast Recommendations:
  • Get Your Marriage On - Christian Sex podcast (all are decent...I highly recommend the episode about being a sexual overfunctioner)
  • Wise Traditions - This episode about strength because Dr. Gabrielle Lyon talks about protein.
  • Dr. Gabrielle Lyon episodes:
  • Save The Marriage podcast (all episodes are excellent)
 
Haursen said:
Since the private messaging is not working, I'll post here because the information may help other committed married men here at MOS:

Podcast Recommendations:
  • Get Your Marriage On - Christian Sex podcast (all are decent...I highly recommend the episode about being a sexual overfunctioner)
  • Wise Traditions - This episode about strength because Dr. Gabrielle Lyon talks about protein.
  • Dr. Gabrielle Lyon episodes:
  • Save The Marriage podcast (all episodes are excellent)
Click to expand...
Just watched episode of sexual overachiever for the second time. Have 7 pages of notes and thoughts I wrote down.
 
DLD said:
Yes I would love to read them
Click to expand...
Here is my best attempt:

Are you a sexual Over-Functioner or Under-Functioner?

Intimate marriages are like a system. Think of a heating and cooling system, and how it is regulated by a thermostat. Finding that perfect temperature means that both the heating and cooling system need to be functioning. If there is too much heat, the temperature is too hot. Same can be said for too much cold, it becomes chilly. Adding more heat will not cool down the temperature, and adding more cold will not heat it up. When the system is functioning correctly, homeostasis is achieved, and the conditions are just right.

The Over-Functioning and Under-Functioning dynamic occurs when one partner is trying to take responsibility for the other partners part.

Its not how I am feeling, it is how I am functioning. Ask and honestly answer the following questions:
  • Do I do what I need to do and what I should be doing when stressed or challenged when my wife is not there?
  • Am I irresponsibly over involved in how my wife lives her life by over functioning
Over-Functioning

Classic example of over functioning is trying to direct my wife or jumping in to solve her problems. This inadvertently invites the opposite through my behaviors, as no one likes to be told what to do or feel guilty for what they are not doing.
  • A result of Over-Functioning that I am guilty of is pulling back and retreating when I don’t get what I want, thinking that somehow it is going to make my wife change to what I want. This doesn’t work, because I still have an anxious focus on my wife that she can feel, and still makes the focus about her changing and not me.
  • A shift out of Over-Functioning is not about trying to change the other person. It is about recognizing that my efforts to help are not very helpful. I also need to think about where I put my effort in the relationship. Stop anxiously monitoring my spouse and think about where I put my energy.
  • Stopping Over-functioning does not mean that my wife will step-up, but there is a greater possibility to change because there is not the pressure to function a certain way and I have given her the opportunity to do so. It says this is important to me, but I am going to let you be responsible for how you step up.
  • This manifests in how couples initiate sex.
  • Over-Functioning gets frustrating because I feel I am doing all the work and my wife is not showing interest so I try to interrupt the pattern by stopping initiating (functioning) hoping my wife will step up. But she hasn’t, why?
  • Is there too much focus on keeping score?
  • I have personally fallen into this shift of keeping score. My wife can likely feel my anxious focus on her. As a result, that can shut down her moves towards taking her responsible part.
  • Over-functioning is trying to direct your spouse.
    • Ex. I read this book or listed to this podcast so you should to…
  • Why do I Over-Function?
    • I am functioning as if my wife is an extension of me. Recognize that my spouse is in charge of herself and that is not my responsibility.
Sexual Over-Functioning and Under-Functioning
  • Over and Under-Functioning shuts down any sort of curiosity or interest in both parties.
  • The Over-Functioning person gets burnt out and resentful
  • The Under-Functioning person isn’t really interested in their part because someone else is handling it
  • Do I purposefully Under-Function in an attempt to make my spouse step in? At times, Yes.
  • Why do I attempt to Under-Function? It can be a comfortable position and it allows someone else to step in and over function.
So what should I do?
  • I need to be more flexible, so when things don’t play out like I thought they should be able to ask my wife what ideas she has. Give her the responsibility and ask her “What could be a fun way that you initiate?” Maybe it doesn’t work out, be able to step back and say, “well what do we want to do now?” It puts less pressure on people needing to operate a certain way. Be lighthearted.
  • Don’t be responsible FOR your spouse, be responsible TO your spouse.
  • Think about how do I want to show up for her?
  • How do I share my thinking or needs?
  • How do I listen to her and be thoughtful and respectful?
  • When my wife is anxious, do I sit and listen instead of jumping in to solve a problem?
  • Am I irresponsibly over involved?
  • Can I ask a good question instead of trying to give an answer?
  • Over-Functioning sexually has caused me to be really fixated on my spouse and has made me get one way thinking of how things should improve instead of the broader question of how are each of us going to be responsible for our sexual relationship?
  • I forget that there are multiple paths to things getting better. We can do something together but as individuals. Instead of directing my wife, could I say something like “I think it would be awesome if we were both curious about this part of our lives, how do you want to go about doing that?”
  • It is useful for my wife to know what I am thinking and what I want, and to not have to read my mind and guess.
  • What is my part in getting my needs met?
How to get out of sexual Under-Functioning?

  • Have to ask how do I show up and what are the measures of success? It cannot be how is my wife feeling about this and is she happy with me or not.
  • Feelings of my wife cannot and should not become the metric or measurement that is used against personal beliefs about the role of sex or intimacy in the marriage.
  • Sit down and write out what my unique beliefs about sex in our marriage are and am I living up to them?
  • Think about the process of how I make my decisions. Not why I make my decisions.
    • If I ask why, blame is the only answer to the why question. But the How is how do we get caught up in this pattern and can lead to no blame and identifying what to work on.
  • When Under-Functioning it is easy to get caught up in the comfortability of someone else calling the shots. Must take ownership.
 
ManPlan86 said:
Here is my best attempt:

Are you a sexual Over-Functioner or Under-Functioner?

Intimate marriages are like a system. Think of a heating and cooling system, and how it is regulated by a thermostat. Finding that perfect temperature means that both the heating and cooling system need to be functioning. If there is too much heat, the temperature is too hot. Same can be said for too much cold, it becomes chilly. Adding more heat will not cool down the temperature, and adding more cold will not heat it up. When the system is functioning correctly, homeostasis is achieved, and the conditions are just right.

The Over-Functioning and Under-Functioning dynamic occurs when one partner is trying to take responsibility for the other partners part.

Its not how I am feeling, it is how I am functioning. Ask and honestly answer the following questions:
  • Do I do what I need to do and what I should be doing when stressed or challenged when my wife is not there?
  • Am I irresponsibly over involved in how my wife lives her life by over functioning
Over-Functioning

Classic example of over functioning is trying to direct my wife or jumping in to solve her problems. This inadvertently invites the opposite through my behaviors, as no one likes to be told what to do or feel guilty for what they are not doing.
  • A result of Over-Functioning that I am guilty of is pulling back and retreating when I don’t get what I want, thinking that somehow it is going to make my wife change to what I want. This doesn’t work, because I still have an anxious focus on my wife that she can feel, and still makes the focus about her changing and not me.
  • A shift out of Over-Functioning is not about trying to change the other person. It is about recognizing that my efforts to help are not very helpful. I also need to think about where I put my effort in the relationship. Stop anxiously monitoring my spouse and think about where I put my energy.
  • Stopping Over-functioning does not mean that my wife will step-up, but there is a greater possibility to change because there is not the pressure to function a certain way and I have given her the opportunity to do so. It says this is important to me, but I am going to let you be responsible for how you step up.
  • This manifests in how couples initiate sex.
  • Over-Functioning gets frustrating because I feel I am doing all the work and my wife is not showing interest so I try to interrupt the pattern by stopping initiating (functioning) hoping my wife will step up. But she hasn’t, why?
  • Is there too much focus on keeping score?
  • I have personally fallen into this shift of keeping score. My wife can likely feel my anxious focus on her. As a result, that can shut down her moves towards taking her responsible part.
  • Over-functioning is trying to direct your spouse.
    • Ex. I read this book or listed to this podcast so you should to…
  • Why do I Over-Function?
    • I am functioning as if my wife is an extension of me. Recognize that my spouse is in charge of herself and that is not my responsibility.
Sexual Over-Functioning and Under-Functioning
  • Over and Under-Functioning shuts down any sort of curiosity or interest in both parties.
  • The Over-Functioning person gets burnt out and resentful
  • The Under-Functioning person isn’t really interested in their part because someone else is handling it
  • Do I purposefully Under-Function in an attempt to make my spouse step in? At times, Yes.
  • Why do I attempt to Under-Function? It can be a comfortable position and it allows someone else to step in and over function.
So what should I do?
  • I need to be more flexible, so when things don’t play out like I thought they should be able to ask my wife what ideas she has. Give her the responsibility and ask her “What could be a fun way that you initiate?” Maybe it doesn’t work out, be able to step back and say, “well what do we want to do now?” It puts less pressure on people needing to operate a certain way. Be lighthearted.
  • Don’t be responsible FOR your spouse, be responsible TO your spouse.
  • Think about how do I want to show up for her?
  • How do I share my thinking or needs?
  • How do I listen to her and be thoughtful and respectful?
  • When my wife is anxious, do I sit and listen instead of jumping in to solve a problem?
  • Am I irresponsibly over involved?
  • Can I ask a good question instead of trying to give an answer?
  • Over-Functioning sexually has caused me to be really fixated on my spouse and has made me get one way thinking of how things should improve instead of the broader question of how are each of us going to be responsible for our sexual relationship?
  • I forget that there are multiple paths to things getting better. We can do something together but as individuals. Instead of directing my wife, could I say something like “I think it would be awesome if we were both curious about this part of our lives, how do you want to go about doing that?”
  • It is useful for my wife to know what I am thinking and what I want, and to not have to read my mind and guess.
  • What is my part in getting my needs met?
How to get out of sexual Under-Functioning?

  • Have to ask how do I show up and what are the measures of success? It cannot be how is my wife feeling about this and is she happy with me or not.
  • Feelings of my wife cannot and should not become the metric or measurement that is used against personal beliefs about the role of sex or intimacy in the marriage.
  • Sit down and write out what my unique beliefs about sex in our marriage are and am I living up to them?
  • Think about the process of how I make my decisions. Not why I make my decisions.
    • If I ask why, blame is the only answer to the why question. But the How is how do we get caught up in this pattern and can lead to no blame and identifying what to work on.
  • When Under-Functioning it is easy to get caught up in the comfortability of someone else calling the shots. Must take ownership.
Click to expand...
This is a great article to have under the case and study portion. It may not seem to be fallen under PE, but in reality, it does fall under PE's psychological and physiological aspects. Mind posting it a separate post? This is a great perspective covering 70% on both aspects.
 
oldandlively said:
This is a great article to have under the case and study portion. It may not seem to be fallen under PE, but in reality, it does fall under PE's psychological and physiological aspects. Mind posting it a separate post? This is a great perspective covering 70% on both aspects.
Click to expand...
I can post elsewhere or should it be moved from my progress log completely? I will end up just copy pasting if that's ok, as these are just my personal notes and thoughts from a podcast a fellow brother recommended to me.
 
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