14 stab wounds and fights? Christ! But that makes you an experienced knife fighter doesn't it?
I jest, but in this cruel world we NEED to count our blessings. Because you're right; the world is a big chaotic hurricane that throws a lot of people around like a ragdoll for decades until they find footing somewhere, IF they find footing somewhere. You say you feel like a man floating helplessly in the dark because...You may very well be doing just that! I say this because some people might try to get you to accept the rotten cards you were dealt, tell you it's normal, that's it's okay, that you're flat-out greedy for wanting more.
"Well at least you're not in a wheelchair!" "Size doesn't matter!" "Starving kids in Africa!"
But you know in your heart it isn't okay one bit. The good news is, you can become a warrior and commit to fixing all the big problems life gave you; no talent required, only hard work. Commit to a DLD-Approved routine and you too can get that bigger dick. And this applies to every problem in your life too; if you're out of shape you can start working out, and if you need to get your money together you can spend some time working on a hustle or gig or business of some kind. Etc. And you will come out stronger for the experience. And I know that's not a miracle cure. Constant hardship made my wife and me much tougher people; but also our 20s are over and we will NEVER get that time or youth back. As we often say to people "we didn't ask to become warriors".
I had abusive parents growing up. They never touched me, but they were emotionally abusive. They bullied and berated and screamed and threw tantrums about every single thing I did, said, thought, looked at, liked, disliked, ate, touched, performed, you name it. They had a problem with just about EVERY single facet of my life. I was their plaything, their hostage. They would always come up with justifications for their abuse and they went down the Narcissist Creed to ensure I was as thoroughly controllable as possible. The result? I had no skills, no connections, no charisma. I was absolutely sure I would never get in shape or get a decent dick. Never asked girls out because I had zero confidence, felt it wasn't even my place to do so. I felt everything I did bothered someone. I felt like no matter how hard I worked I would never get stronger or smarter or benefit in any way. Said parents were supplemented with the most disgusting authoritarian "teachers", and of course all the hostile bosses at jobs afterwards. Turns out, the world is just full of mediocre morons who will do everything they can to drag you down to their level. Some, because it's essential to their survival; others, because of greed and apathy.Next thing you know, I'm in my 30s, and I'm still fat, stupid, small-dick, no confidence, no sense of taking control of my own life whether it's just keeping my house clean, or just taking some time to look nice in the morning, or looking for work that makes sense, I have no direction.
Even after I decided to take a stand to become a strong, smart, charismatic person, and pledge to try my hardest to BE the person I always wanted to be, well...It's a struggle. I'm 34 and I'm surrounded by mostly young people at my work. One of them, an absolute bombshell and the sweetest girl you'd ever know and she reminds me of every Perfect 11 girl I never asked out.
I found MOS when I was 19. It was after I discovered that the dating world is honestly incredibly superficial and doesn't want to admit it. I felt like I was the only one who knew the truth, the only one who couldn't participate in the illusion of happiness. Almost became an incel for a moment. With the discovery of jelqing, I felt like I had a fighting chance, but even then I was fighting an uphill battle. When I was 21 the girls in my local area were hostile SJWs, hippies, a lot of them dated only older men, couldn't find a decent person to save my life. This new generation of young people, they are SO much more accepting, empathetic, colorful, interesting people, and I WANT to be a part of their world and I feel like an outsider.
The best tool I have to navigate the harsh realities of the world is that I developed self-respect. I don't know where you are in this category, but here's what I did:
I started by pledging to myself to work on all the problem areas of my life and climb out of this mess, even if just casually. And I was working on my finances by starting a work-from-home voiceover business, but still didn't have much direction being broke and all. But then I was inspired to start with my health, not only to have more energy, but to be more confident. Supplement big dick exercises in there and I'd feel like a god! But it was still a struggle.
Then I found one of those motivational montage Youtube videos (You know the ones) that led me down a rabbit hole and...I guess it sparked something in me.
- The first important thing was the difference between being hard on yourself and being honest with yourself. For example, if you're fat, don't go "I'm a piece of shit that will never amount to anything" but also don't lie to yourself and go "I'm perfectly healthy". Just be real, and pledge to get in shape. Do this with ALL problem areas in your life, and then figure out which one needs work the most.
- The other important thing is that your bad hand, all your past struggles, all your bad memories, they are traumatic but they can be a source of power too. If you can see your past issues as ordeals you have overcome, rather than burdens to carry forever, it becomes a lot easier to believe that you can continue to survive hardships in the future, ones that you do voluntarily to improve as a person. AAAND, you can support others in the same position too.
Over time you will develop healthy habits. This will allow you to feel proud of yourself, so that when naysayers come along, or life is just shitty in general, you can demonstrate that your actions reflect what you stand for. You can form connections a lot better when you simply project the energy of knowing what you're doing, and if those are your habits then it will be effortless to do so. One person on the forums I frequent said "You aren't an adult until you solve more problems than you create". And all it really means is, in a world of people who only really think about themselves, everyone is surprised when you're a leader type who simply volunteers to be hands-on. Even if you aren't always successful, you can be honest with yourself and others about your mistakes and you'll be given license to improve. It's really grand!
Like I said, it's not a miracle cure. My wife and I still struggle with PTSD and depression and anxiety from our upbringing, and there are a lot of days I go heavy on substances and hate myself, but at the end of the day I still know I'm me and as soon as I get my fighting spirit back, I get back in the fray. Having this kind of energy allows you to see the good in people too, which allows you to see them in a more human light, rather than feeling like you are surrounded by the permanently mediocre. But even then, you mustn't compare yourself to others; look only to your own situation and grow from there. If you need clarification on anything just let me know. Cheers!
