What if YOUR penis was detachable?



Would this be your song? This is a song by 'King Missile':

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]
Ever since I was a kid, I have thought how much more fun it would be if you could easily detach your penis and testicles and scrotum from your body, then later reattach them. Maybe that has some influence on the fascination we all had over the John and Lorena Bobbitt story a few years back. You fuck her, fall asleep, wake up to find that she has taken your penis with her. Then, the challenge is to try and find your penis.

I've wished that my wife could take mine with her to school (she's in college) with my penis up inside her, and her sitting on my balls - all neatly tucked inside her panties. Then, she comes back home after her classes, puts them back on me, and we make love.

The ultimate would be for me to be able to somehow FEEL what my penis and balls are feeling while they're with her. Even her sitting on and squishing the balls. We have discussed the fantasy together, and she has daydreamed in class that my cock was inside her, and she was able to rock back and forth on my balls. (We often think alike)

And, I'm a hard-core exhibitionist, so it would be really convenient to show off the "goodies" without being too threatening to others who might want to feel or use them.
LOL would be insane getting into a dangerous situation removing it would be ideal,the same Whit the balls.

Like the dudes that detach it permanently like the pics I saw the other day this kid had a decent size cock chopped it off just because he wanted to satisfy his boyfriend's desires...
I could slap people with it! Ouch! A helmet slap hurts!
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