getting laid. what part of the woman are you talking to?

i rarely go on dates as they seems to be less and less interesting.

if im out drinking and i meet a girl i never ask for her number.
and if she asks for mine. i will probably never use it.

why? what happens? this is counter productive isn't it?
well not for me.
i get to see more and more of the dating universe and how it is connected from both the male and the females perspective.

and currently dates and follow up days has become worthless to me.

my whole point of this thread is to discuss the 2 things. women see in a man.

the sexual man. and the protector.

the difference between these 2 are enormous.

the sexual man will get:
sex at first night.
womens praise.
women will chase him
women will share their secrets
women will live out their fantasies with this man
he can get away with just about anything
the sexual man can choose to be the provider at just about anytime he wants

the protector will get:
to fight for the first kiss (if he gets lucky)
to pay for expensive dates.
to use a lot of time to invest in the woman.
he will never be told about the womans actual sexual experience.
he will have to do the work to actually get a sexlife going.
he can't get away with anything!
the protector can never become the lover.


so what is the difference between the 2?
well it's basicly you!
how do you act. how do you behave. how is your mindset?

you see women will go through a range of guys through her life.

the smart ass kid in high school.
the muscular one.
the dangerous one.
the extreme alpha one
the guy with the big dick
the forbidden one (black usually)


eventually she will start looking for a partner. and this is the place where she starts to look for a provider.

however. when a woman looks for one of these. it becomes an investment.

if she can control this man. she will have:
someone who takes care of her.
take care of the kids.
who respects her and thinks she is a half way saint
a constant flow of money.

the sad thing is. her sex life becomes a means of negotiating.
sex will be provided to the man when he is behaving. not because she wants to.
"you have done your duty today. good puppy!"
when this is how women runs her life. obviously. it's a matter of time before cheating becomes a problem.

so what category do you hit?

the sexual partner:
the guy walks up to the girl.
values are:
confidence.
flirting
confident in his sexuality
playfull.
doesn't see the girl as a "boring nun" but as a playfull girl
alphamale.
adventure.
sexual exploration

the protector:
usually the girl goes for the guy or makes him think that he choose her.
stability.
money (yep unless you have so much money that you can't use it all. money will put you into this box)
respect.
safety.
see's the girl as the nun.
looks for approval from the woman to how he should behave.


my idea for this came after i got a new job with a very good salary.

i have literally lost all my female friends.

as they either attempted to hook me up or. hook up with me.

for a long time i have had the sexual male role. and i have had it maybe a bit too easy with just fooling around with chicks.

but actually after i started to get a good regular income. girls resist me more than before. they want me to invest more in them.

so before i would be able to go from kisses to sex on first night in perhaps 60% of my attemps.

to the point where a girl finds out that i got a good job.

now im lucky if i get a kiss on the first night. and if i do. i get it with a pint of guilt: "ohh no mr! you just get one kiss tonight. because you're lucky! im not that type of girl! i need to be dated to get me!" mmmmmhhhhuuaa! (kiss on the cheek.!) there you go! lucky fella!"


obviously this is not what i am looking for in my life at the moment so it pisses me off.

and it took me a long time to figure out what the hell was happening.

i could not see how getting a good job was going to sabotage my dating.


my current solution is to not tell a women what im doing. (so from now on i currently work in a toys r' us)

this thread is just as much for my self. as for anyone else. need to put words down to get it out of my head.

Ephesians 5:22-23
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.

You say alot of things that aren't necessarily true bro. I think you just fuck random chicks on one night stands because you're afraid to commit to one.
You want to 'test drive' them which makes them feel inferior/unappreciated. Or maybe you just know that you could never hold on to those women in the long run so you have one night stands that way you don't feel bad later when they go away.

Currently a relationship is absolutely not possible as i am traveling 80% of the time.

And although i don't agree with the reasons you think i say what i say.

I do have a revolt vs the standard relationship.

The thing is.

The people i know who is in a commited relationship. Doesn't appear to be free and happy at all.

It looks like a hard chore for both of them.

And i don't want to partake in that.

The last part of it. Is the fact that i have been working in the nightlife for 8 years. And repeatedly seen these "girlfriends" on their worst behaviors.

It's not as much as i am afraid of losing a girl.

Its alot more the fact that i see a pattern where men are being fooled in general.

They meet eachother.
They get married.
They get kids.
They get divorce.
She gets the kids
She gets half of his stuff.
She sits in a big new house.
He sits in a 2 room apartment with ticks and bad nerves.

Im 28 and i don't have kids.

But this pattern is the new: happy ever after.

As just about 75% of all long term relationships ends like that.

I mean count! Look at your older friends (or equal age if you're in the 40's and see how its going)

I just don't see a reaspn to participate in that statistic. And yes one night stands is alot easier to maintain.

I dont see how i make them feel inferior.
90% of the girls i have had sex with usually end up as friends. (As i stated that changed very recently)

Girls in general don't have a problem with casual dating.

Most hot girls i know who are single have atleast 2 regulars they go to for sex.

Corinthians 7:8-9
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Well god agrees that its better not to get married, but you cant have sex either XD, or masturbate XDXDXDXDXD:/

I think gods expectations in me are too high then

Im gonna do both.

But its alright if i end up in hell.

It's warm. And i know people there already

Well spotted.
All this stuff as it is programmed into our sexual psychology, goes on unknown in both men and women. Which means that when you get people's opinion on the subject it comes loaded with their interpretations. It takes a lot of self-knowledge to push past the myths and narratives that bury the facts.

The drives behind what cause is to mate, boil down to a really unique and bitter-sweet game once you see them.

What I call fast food... one night hookups and fucking friends does not suit me. I want the hottest to give themselves to me completely. I know I'm offering a good deal as it will take them a long time to find an alternative that can make them feel what I can make them feel.

It doesn't work out for long because women have an inbuilt competing drive to be seen and capture the attention of the widest group of sexy attractive men.

Some women are living out of mens sweat..n some men are living out of womens sweat too....but yeah is a quite real thing men,i think we all have noticed that some women are basically wht some because of the stability they get..

A guy whit a nice car a good job and a great future can have a girl,n maybe can afford another one...

yeah now that you have a great job n most girls are ""hard to get"" thats bullshit...

shortdick;664679 said:

Some women are living out of mens sweat..n some men are living out of womens sweat too....but yeah is a quite real thing men,i think we all have noticed that some women are basically wht some because of the stability they get..

A guy whit a nice car a good job and a great future can have a girl,n maybe can afford another one...

yeah now that you have a great job n most girls are ""hard to get"" thats bullshit...

Click to expand...

Its not that i can't get girls. Actually i got more opportunities. But thry want me to invest more in them now.

Putting me in the protector box
And since i am coming from the sexual box i have no intention to chamge over there.

If i should have a girl i would do as i always do. Fuck around have fun. Get to know eachother.

If there is a good connection even after the beginning sex is over.

Then we can talk relationship.

gibberish i wrote lol but if you can have them take them siple as that:cool:

I realize in this context I am the sexual man.

Huh, never saw myself like that.

Very good work my Brother! This is so helpful for me as I am approaching finding a woman. I am getting closer to my ideal weight and my confidence is improving. I will use this information to help me AIM, thank you!

As a professional counselor (male issues, marriage, relationships etc.) and a former "expert" womanizer (self-proclaimed of course ) there are a few things in here I disagree with. The foremost and the most important being that there is no mix between the two types you described.

You described the polar opposites in male types and made it VERY binary, but there is absolutely a scale in between these two. There are some assumptions in this that are true, however, one can in fact get out of the friend/protector zone and be a lot more than that, it just comes down to confidence. In fact, I have helped guys do this even after YEARS of marriage and take back control of their lives (and their sex lives).

The reality of it comes down to this, leading or following, you can change your posture over years, or in a day, it's completely up to you. If you decide to lead now after years of following expect contention, but then also watch the change happen that follows it. Every women and I mean EVERY women, wants a man that she feels she can follow (I don't like the word submission because it has an inference of unconscious surrender, following is a conscious decision). She wants to know you are strong enough to follow and take control. Generally guys who are the protector as you put it, do not demonstrate the confidence to lead, therefore they go at the women pace. You can in fact be both, and the strongest marriages that I work with (mine included, as I work on it all the time to keep it healthy) are where the men are both.

So what's the primary difference between these two men? One asks for permission for everything, the other does what he feels is best and doesn't care about whether people like it. You can be THAT, and not feel the need to take advantage of a women sexually and still have them chase you like you're the last man they will ever meet.

If you want something long term (even just an F-Buddy), don't be a creep, be confident. Be absolutely assured of who you are, and give no shit's whatsoever what anyone thinks about it. But don't feel the need to tell everyone who you are. It's subtle, but there's a difference.

Practical tips:
Meet her friends, but don't care what they think of you and don't try to impress them. They either like you, or they don't.
Never change your plans unless it's an emergency, your life does not revolve around her. Have your own life, don't care if they approve.
Be focused on whatever it is that's in front of you, if it's her, then be focused on her, but when it's your life, be focused on your life.

She wants a leader, not a worshiper or an admirer. You can be a good guy, and still be a leader. You can be a good guy and still have game. I watched a good guy with 100% confident game turn a man-hater feminist (and I mean it in this case and I don't say that lightly) into the biggest groupy and eventually his wife who is completely at ease and happy with following his lead. He picked her out of a group of women who had been chasing him around for months.

I am always talking to the ass....maybe this is my problem?

doublelongdaddy;666029 said:

I am always talking to the ass....maybe this is my problem?

Click to expand...

HAHAHAHA, I have that problem too...

JakeM82;666116 said:

HAHAHAHA, I have that problem too...

Click to expand...

What matters most to me is the ass and a small waist. I could care less if she has bee stings up top or water balloons, as long as the ass is proper I am good.

^Yeah those 'child-bearing hips' are always really hot

JakeM82;664857 said:

As a professional counselor (male issues, marriage, relationships etc.) and a former "expert" womanizer (self-proclaimed of course ) there are a few things in here I disagree with. The foremost and the most important being that there is no mix between the two types you described.

You described the polar opposites in male types and made it VERY binary, but there is absolutely a scale in between these two. There are some assumptions in this that are true, however, one can in fact get out of the friend/protector zone and be a lot more than that, it just comes down to confidence. In fact, I have helped guys do this even after YEARS of marriage and take back control of their lives (and their sex lives).

The reality of it comes down to this, leading or following, you can change your posture over years, or in a day, it's completely up to you. If you decide to lead now after years of following expect contention, but then also watch the change happen that follows it. Every women and I mean EVERY women, wants a man that she feels she can follow (I don't like the word submission because it has an inference of unconscious surrender, following is a conscious decision). She wants to know you are strong enough to follow and take control. Generally guys who are the protector as you put it, do not demonstrate the confidence to lead, therefore they go at the women pace. You can in fact be both, and the strongest marriages that I work with (mine included, as I work on it all the time to keep it healthy) are where the men are both.

So what's the primary difference between these two men? One asks for permission for everything, the other does what he feels is best and doesn't care about whether people like it. You can be THAT, and not feel the need to take advantage of a women sexually and still have them chase you like you're the last man they will ever meet.

If you want something long term (even just an F-Buddy), don't be a creep, be confident. Be absolutely assured of who you are, and give no shit's whatsoever what anyone thinks about it. But don't feel the need to tell everyone who you are. It's subtle, but there's a difference.

Practical tips:
Meet her friends, but don't care what they think of you and don't try to impress them. They either like you, or they don't.
Never change your plans unless it's an emergency, your life does not revolve around her. Have your own life, don't care if they approve.
Be focused on whatever it is that's in front of you, if it's her, then be focused on her, but when it's your life, be focused on your life.

She wants a leader, not a worshiper or an admirer. You can be a good guy, and still be a leader. You can be a good guy and still have game. I watched a good guy with 100% confident game turn a man-hater feminist (and I mean it in this case and I don't say that lightly) into the biggest groupy and eventually his wife who is completely at ease and happy with following his lead. He picked her out of a group of women who had been chasing him around for months.

Click to expand...

Mostly i agree with you.

What has happened to me (the reason i wrote the post) was due to the fact that my balance from potential one night stand. Now had turned over to a potential partner or provider (seen from women perspective)

But my current focus isnt long term girl friends.

So the fact that she wants to be perceived as a more decent women towards me results in her not wanting to fool around on the first night.

Which is a problem for me.

And the lesson i wanted to share.

Can a provider become more sexual? Absolutely. But in my experience when a guy tryes to do that the woman will try and "put him in his place" with such force that she will eventually work her way out of the relationship before anyone knows what has happened.

Again the guys i have talked with is at the age 20-30 and usually not married.

I assume it can be different for different age groups.

Remember when I said they feel unappreciated? They totally do bro, but sometimes we males who are immune to these simple emotional dependences; can't empathize with the dumb bich. It could be that this girl you are talking about is actually 'wife material' (pretty,smart,kind), and you're treating her like a basic rachet. Just smell the coffee man, we're getting old and life is short to be playing games

templnite;666286 said:

Remember when I said they feel unappreciated? They totally do bro, but sometimes we males who are immune to these simple emotional dependences; can't empathize with the dumb bich. It could be that this girl you are talking about is actually 'wife material' (pretty,smart,kind), and you're treating her like a basic rachet. Just smell the coffee man, we're getting old and life is short to be playing games

Click to expand...

Marriage isn't about age, if you aren't ready, don't get married. Wait until it's something you actually want, otherwise you will never really put your heart into being a great husband because you didn't want to get married to begin with. I see this ALL the time.

Interesting thoughts from aim though, especially around women's self perception. That definitely has an impact and guys have to considered that if we are trying to keep long term fb(s) and how to manage that perception.

templnite;666249 said:

^Yeah those 'child-bearing hips' are always really hot

Click to expand...

Exactly! Big hips means lots of babies and everyone knows how much I love babies!