I was having some super bad depression recently when I started a new medication. It was so bad it made me think about suicide(medication can do that)- I almost made a thread about it but I know how to handle it pretty well since it was not my 1st time dealing with it. Then the past 2 weeks I haven't got a full nights sleep every night. Last night I did get some really good sleep for a change because I changed a lot of things up in my room so I could get better rest. When I woke up this morning I felt great. While I was taking care of some chores I realized how good I felt. Then I tried to remember the last time I felt really sad? All of sudden it was obvious to me that I have been feeling a lot better lately. My life has not changed since then. I still live in the same place, I still have the same problems, I still have a lot of work to do before I get to where I'm headed. I don't know where it went because it felt pretty good to not feel depressed after so many months of being held down by it.
I do have some really good things to look forward to in the next couple weeks and I really like the Fourth of July. This year marks a very special anniversary to me. It seems every time something is changing in my life it happens exactly on the same day of the next year or later years on that same date. Well nothing has happened differently yet. I just feel great and it feels so delivering. One thing that helps is I look forward to the forum everyday. It use to drive me crazy when I couldn't read it at night, but this week I have felt so relaxed at night and when I wake up. Sometimes I forget that I feel better and I have this thought that makes a knot in my stomach feel like it is sinking. Then I think about what it is that I am sad about and there really isn't anything there, then I feel better.
There never really was anything ever there to make me sad. I have been dealing with depression my whole life. I have gone through more than usual the last 6 months and I have been suffering the consequences. I just wanted to also be aware when I feel better and I was really looking forward to the day today for once.
I do have some really good things to look forward to in the next couple weeks and I really like the Fourth of July. This year marks a very special anniversary to me. It seems every time something is changing in my life it happens exactly on the same day of the next year or later years on that same date. Well nothing has happened differently yet. I just feel great and it feels so delivering. One thing that helps is I look forward to the forum everyday. It use to drive me crazy when I couldn't read it at night, but this week I have felt so relaxed at night and when I wake up. Sometimes I forget that I feel better and I have this thought that makes a knot in my stomach feel like it is sinking. Then I think about what it is that I am sad about and there really isn't anything there, then I feel better.
There never really was anything ever there to make me sad. I have been dealing with depression my whole life. I have gone through more than usual the last 6 months and I have been suffering the consequences. I just wanted to also be aware when I feel better and I was really looking forward to the day today for once.
