When I’m alone, I can control things pretty well, but with a partner, especially someone new, I lose control fast. Is this common, and what’s the reason behind it?
When I’m alone, I can control things pretty well, but with a partner, especially someone new, I lose control fast. Is this common, and what’s the reason behind it?
You answer your own question right off the bat. When you are alone, you can control the situation at your own pace. Even with adult entertainment materials, which we don't encourage at all as they create PIED issues, you can still control the amount of excitement and stimulation. However, with a partner, all that goes out the door. You may think you're in control, but the stimulation types are different, and so are the level of hormones that causes you to ejaculate because the instinct of the male body is to fertilize the female. You can read on the oxytocin levels during sexual arousal with a partner vs when it's self-stimulated. The levels are way different. Your testosterone will have a sudden spike to keep your endurance up, and the conversion of dopamine will occur at the same time. Because of this, you have to retrain your mind and body to do things differently. Even those who have sexual partners for decades and our training susceptible to this. My last session lasted only 25 minutes or so compared to 40 minutes or more.
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