Ok I have been going out with my girl now for almost 5 months. Shes been out of a job (shes a bartender)and shes been handing in resumes to bars and then today she gets a call back from the owner of a bar (in Manhattan). I tell her to call me if she gets the job so i can congratulate her (and she does)but guess what the bar is "new type of bar" shes says. The voice mail she left says the owner wants her wearing a bikini top and short-short shorts. She was so excited that she had landed a job but i was like are u fuckin kidding me to my self(btw this was a voice mail). Im so pissed off that she really wants to work at a bar wear men will be HOUNDING her and she has to act all happy and flirt back with them while shes pretty exposed and vunerable to them. Its like exploiting my fuckin girl and i love this chick mind you but now im like holy shit if she really wants to do something like this maybe we shouldnt be together. Guys suggestions please im hurting here! TIA dudes.
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Have you talked to her and told her how you felt about the situation? If not, then do. See how she responds and report back.
Yes i just got off the phone with her. I was so pissed off on the phone i hung up with her!. Then i was like maybe this isnt gunna work out...we are not on the same wavelength... yea this isnt gunna work byE!....
She was like ok can u listen to me for second please how do you think i feel, i haven't had a job for 4 1/2 months, and i dont really want you supporting me because i have always felt uncomfortable taking your money, and NO i dont feel comfortable working in Bikini top . She said "i can barely show you my breasts and i love you you think i want to show my breasts with a bikini top on to some fucking drunk guy drueling all over me(figure of speech)" Then i realized shit i was wrong. So i told her to go try it out and see how she likes it and but all the while look for another job as regular bartender.
Man how much i wish somebody could help me get her a job as a bartender in the city. It likes theres no fuckin job openings!
So what do you think Philadelph? did i do the right think.
She was like ok can u listen to me for second please how do you think i feel, i haven't had a job for 4 1/2 months, and i dont really want you supporting me because i have always felt uncomfortable taking your money, and NO i dont feel comfortable working in Bikini top . She said "i can barely show you my breasts and i love you you think i want to show my breasts with a bikini top on to some fucking drunk guy drueling all over me(figure of speech)" Then i realized shit i was wrong. So i told her to go try it out and see how she likes it and but all the while look for another job as regular bartender.
Man how much i wish somebody could help me get her a job as a bartender in the city. It likes theres no fuckin job openings!
So what do you think Philadelph? did i do the right think.
IM2 I think the best bet for her is for her to see what it's like. Honestly, if she doesn't like it then she won't be there very long. I don't see how any woman could handle that, I've dated a couple of girls who workes at hooters at the time, never got too serious but it was interesting to hear them complain about working there since that's where they chose to work at the time. Again, I honestly wouldn't worry about it too much, and if you care about her and truly love her then it won't be about YOU. Love is never about me or my or mine, but about the other person and caring for them regardless of my own feelings. Notice that this runs contrary to how we are conditioned, because it's not all about you or how you feel. It's about loving the other person for who they are regardless of what comes down the pipe. Now if you can understand that then you and this young woman may have a chance, but it's going to be tough and it's going to take some getting use to, but if you trult love her it won't matter and you'll be there regardless to stand by her through the good and the bad. Good luck, and I hope you see what I am saying, God bless.
Im2mackin said:Ok I have been going out with my girl now for almost 5 months. Shes been out of a job (shes a bartender)and shes been handing in resumes to bars and then today she gets a call back from the owner of a bar (in Manhattan). I tell her to call me if she gets the job so i can congratulate her (and she does)but guess what the bar is "new type of bar" shes says. The voice mail she left says the owner wants her wearing a bikini top and short-short shorts. She was so excited that she had landed a job but i was like are u fuckin kidding me to my self(btw this was a voice mail). Im so pissed off that she really wants to work at a bar wear men will be HOUNDING her and she has to act all happy and flirt back with them while shes pretty exposed and vunerable to them. Its like exploiting my fuckin girl and i love this chick mind you but now im like holy shit if she really wants to do something like this maybe we shouldnt be together. Guys suggestions please im hurting here! TIA dudes.
Damn I think this is something of a trend here. Women find that it doesn't matter to them if they have to flaunt their bodies around for men if it means paying the bills. They'll think they are exploiting men's lust for them and will gladly take their tips even if it calls for some clown looking down her top or at her ass. But think about it. Talk to her and ask her why she feels it's not that big a deal to have to dress that way and act that way on the job. Find out if she really doesn't mind it. IF she doesn't then maybe you shouldn't either, but I'd find out first her reasoning. I can't say I'd like it either though so that's why I think it's best to talk to her about your qualm.
Obviously after reading the thread lol ...she cares about you and you her. You handled like most of us would, but our initial reactions are usually not what matters in the end.
millionman thanks for the advice ill make this work cuz i do love her but btw i dont think its actually going to be a Bikini bar after all. I found out that the owner said that his girls are not comfortable with wearing bikinis so he doesnt know if its going to happen.
iwant8inches, yea i feel you man ive talked to her about it and she does mind working in a bikini she def wouldnt be comfortable but she says she cant stand not having a job because she doesnt want to leech off of me and she has many things to pay college rent all sortsa bills etc,. she is going to try working at this place, which as of now is a "regular bar" but might become a Bikini bar in the future. Once and if it does become a bikini bar i dont know i guess ill let her try it out for a lil but i want her to get a regular bartending job as the guys wont be hounding her so much.
iwant8inches, yea i feel you man ive talked to her about it and she does mind working in a bikini she def wouldnt be comfortable but she says she cant stand not having a job because she doesnt want to leech off of me and she has many things to pay college rent all sortsa bills etc,. she is going to try working at this place, which as of now is a "regular bar" but might become a Bikini bar in the future. Once and if it does become a bikini bar i dont know i guess ill let her try it out for a lil but i want her to get a regular bartending job as the guys wont be hounding her so much.
Bro it's all about trust... do you trust her to remain faithful to you while working at this job?? If not then it's time to call it quits, if you do trust her then you have nothing to worry about. Personally i wouldn't have any issue with my girl working at a place like that... obviously she must be pretty hot to be hired at a place like that... but personally, i would like the fact that throughout her shift there are all kinds of guys wishing to be with her but at the end of the night, she happily comes home to YOU.
Yea Sikk i have changed my view about that. I was thinking mayeb i shouldn't go out with this girl anymore, maybe its over. Then i was was like shit shes amazing in everyway and doesnt even THINK about cheating on you WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!! YEa i do trust her but i guess i needed an outside perspective to realize it. Thanks guys much love.
I know what you're going thru bro... most of us guys have trust issues. I think this comes from the fact that we're always looking at other chicks and think "god i'd love to bang her" so we assume that other guys are doing the same thing when they see our gf/wife. The truth is that they prolly are, but we just have to let go and believe that our gf/wife is truely loyal to us until their actions prove different (innocent until proven guilty) otherwise we just end up being jealous jerks and end up ruining what could have been a really good long-term relationship.