I need your help and advice please

D

DoctorBiggie

Member
Hi there. Im a semi-old member i have opened thread and posting every day about my exercising but i had some problem and i stopped. Lets skip this part....

My BPEL is 16cm (from side measurement) and almost 15cm (top measurement)
My NBPEL is 13 cm (side) and 12cm (top)
Girth 13.5 cm

im 23 but im still virgin. I was never good with girls (i had lots of girls in my social circle) but i lived with an idea that looks really matters, and because i was pretty much chubby (im still but not that much) i've never "pulled the trigger".

Few months back i started to not give a sh*t and started to be really myself... Talkative, flirty, playful, witty etc and started going well with girls... Then i realized that ALL THE TIME I LIVED IN BIG LIE about LOOKS...

Now here is a girl that i have a "chemistry" with her (if you know what i mean) and soon (i can smell) we would end up in bed ... But now I'M AFRAID more than ever!!!!

This is will be my first time to have s*x and im nervous about my penis size, actually im FREAKING OUT thinking about this!
Im so afraid of these things:
- 1-2 min last and explode (if this happens = she would find that ive never had sex before= punch my confidence)
- IM SO FCKING AFRAID OF, what if she doesnt like the size ???
- what if i cant satisfy her ?

Can you Please give me any advices ? I think (actually, i know) that im small down there but... I dont know what to do ? Any help? Please?

Sorry if this topic is not for here ...
 
Don't stress about it.

There's a good thread about fear of intimacy by other member and Lightning wrote a great post:

But as I stated, don't stress about it. Ejaculation can happen fast. I would be straight-forward about it being your first time, no shame in that. Your size is fine.
Satisfying a woman isn't just penetration. Read up on cunnilingus, massaging etc., spend a good time on foreplay. Make her come before you do. ;) Then even if you come quick it won't be such a drastic thing, at least from my point of view.

Everybody starts from somewhere and there's no shame in that. Make her laugh, make her relax, gain her trust.

Wishing you the best!
 
Slow down and stop and breathe, everything is going to be OK. The things you’re worried about believe me she’s worried about similar problems. My mother used to always tell me people are more worried about themselves to worry about you, and that makes a lot of sense. You are very correct looks should not matter in anyway but we live in a society where people have preferences so what might be attracted to one person may be not attractive to another.

Let your girl know the truth, let her know you’re worried and then she’ll be able to help you with the process. Believe me when you trust a woman on this level they have a Lotta respect for you because they see it as you caring about them. Also remember that sex is not all about intercourse, foreplay is very important and satisfying to most females. Enjoy yourself and allow yourself to be guided Intuitively and with her help.
 
Dude.....
I know EXACTLY what you are feeling right now...
I had this exact same problem but I do not have a girl or anything.... it was just a hypothesis in my head......

Anyway....
What I can tell you about women is that real women do not go for looks and surely do not go for the length of your penis. If you are bigger than 3.5" erect, you are fine. Otherwise, you need to see a doctor.

Now, as far as premature ejaculation goes, you don't need to worry about that. YOUR FIRST TIME IS SUPPOSED TO BE BAD. Tell her this: "This is my first time with any women, so I want you to be patient with me". She's gonna get crazy hearing this. Women like virgins as much as men like virgins.

As far as satisfaction goes, focus on foreplay. Spend atleast 20-30 minutes on foreplay. Kiss her, caress her, play with her pussy, etc.... This is what makes a man more desirable to a woman. Atleast make her cum thrice (doesn't matter if it is by your penis or by fingering). After that even if you ejaculate it will be fine because she is already satisfied. If you accidentally ejaculated early, don't worry, sex does not have to end after the man ejaculates. It may happen it adult entertainment, but not in real life.;)

After you have slept with her, she is going to talk about you to her friends. So make sure you give her a good time as you will be representing the entire MOS community.(cwl)

PS: Do not worry if you are not perfect for somebody. Perfection does not exist. Make sure you are the best in your own eyes.
 
Avglen61 said:
Dude.....
I know EXACTLY what you are feeling right now...
I had this exact same problem but I do not have a girl or anything.... it was just a hypothesis in my head......

Anyway....
What I can tell you about women is that real women do not go for looks and surely do not go for the length of your penis. If you are bigger than 3.5" erect, you are fine. Otherwise, you need to see a doctor.

Now, as far as premature ejaculation goes, you don't need to worry about that. YOUR FIRST TIME IS SUPPOSED TO BE BAD. Tell her this: "This is my first time with any women, so I want you to be patient with me". She's gonna get crazy hearing this. Women like virgins as much as men like virgins.

As far as satisfaction goes, focus on foreplay. Spend atleast 20-30 minutes on foreplay. Kiss her, caress her, play with her pussy, etc.... This is what makes a man more desirable to a woman. Atleast make her cum thrice (doesn't matter if it is by your penis or by fingering). After that even if you ejaculate it will be fine because she is already satisfied. If you accidentally ejaculated early, don't worry, sex does not have to end after the man ejaculates. It may happen it adult entertainment, but not in real life.;)

After you have slept with her, she is going to talk about you to her friends. So make sure you give her a good time as you will be representing the entire MOS community.(cwl)

PS: Do not worry if you are not perfect for somebody. Perfection does not exist. Make sure you are the best in your own eyes.
Click to expand...



Truth!
 
Thanks guys... I appreciate all your answers.
Is there any way that i can use my BPEL ? Any positions ?

And, about that thing to tell her that she is my first... In this situation i dont think that this is right. If you ask why, because we are not going to start a "love relationship", maybe we will enter in "cheating-ship", because she has already Bf, but he is in another town.
 
DoctorBiggie said:
And, about that thing to tell her that she is my first... In this situation i dont think that this is right. If you ask why, because we are not going to start a "love relationship", maybe we will enter in "cheating-ship", because she has already Bf, but he is in another town.
Click to expand...
I would advise you to tell her....
If not, she might get her hopes high and if you failed to satisfy her, you might not get another chance......
If you do tell her, she will be prepared for the worst to happen and if you succeed to satisfy her, she will not see that "cumming"LMAO
 
DoctorBiggie said:
maybe we will enter in "cheating-ship", because she has already Bf, but he is in another town.
Click to expand...
I would advise you not to be a part of a cheating relationship......
Because if you stayed with her and she cheated on her boyfriend with you, that might implicate that you are okay with this.... And if later in life you got cheated by someone, that would be termed as karma.....
 
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Avglen61 said:
I would advise you not to be a part of a cheating relationship......
Because if you stayed with her and she cheated on her boyfriend with you, that might implicate that you are okay with this.... And if later in life you got cheated by someone, that would be termed as karma.....
Click to expand...

Agree!!!
 
your anxiety is only natural...we've all been through it and I wish I could give you some kind of magic-trick to alleviate the stress. Unfortunately, these steps must be taken with your own two feet so embrace all the feelings, (good and bad) and try to be your authentic self. Be funny/goofy/raw/honest and everything will work-out the way it should...she'll appreciate you for you
 
I order for you to succeed, you need to take that leap of faith.....
Nobody becomes successful while staying in the comfort zone.....
True success only comes after failure.....

Go and have fun. And whatever happens, learn from it....
 
If you spend your time in the past you’re going to experience depression and if you spend your time in the future you’re going to experience anxiety. If you spend your time in the moment you’ll be just fine. If this is an issue for you as it was for me I hope that you look up DBT and start practice.
 
UPDATE:
She broke with her BF moths before we start something... So, im not in cheating relationship.

The day came... We supposed to have sex.
She came at my place, kissing, touching etc. I was hard, when i took off my clothes, while i was putting my condom, something HORRIBLE started to happen... I just started loosing my erection :(
I was at less than 50% of erection, i tried to put in her but i couldn't because she was sooo damn tight, and im 13-13.5 cm girth ... And the sex didnt happen ....

My mistake (the negative things):
- i had urge to pee (not so big urge) before we started making out
- when i saw my buddy "started to go down" i had anxiety attack and i was ( DA FUQ??? REALLY??? OOMG SUCH A LOSER) and i lost full erection in seconds after this....
- i had period with LOTS of stress, i slept that day only 4-5 hours.. maybe this is the result
- few hours back i je

My lesson from this (the positive things):
- i took off my clothes without thinking " is she going to like me because i dont have abs instead im chubby guy"
- i took my pants off and take off my buddy WITHOUT THINKING "uh, is she going to like my 13 cm buddy??"

HER MISTAKE!!:
- she doesnt even try to help me. She was just laying there, with open legs, naked and she doesnt even touched my buddy... Im not looking for BJ ... I think only a HJ would help me then...

Whatever... I said sorry to her for this. She just looked at me, smile and said, Dont worry baby, can happen to anyone, just dont worry.

We are still "together" and waiting for another chance (we live in different towns so i cant do it when i want) to fix this things (Im already scared if this shit happen to me again :( )
 
One thing; the scene seemed rushed to me. Not having been there but by your story things might have advanced too quickly. From my point of view men need foreplay and relaxation as well in order to perform the best.

Yes, don't worry. But she could had done a bit more on her part. Anyway, next time, take things even slower, make sure you've used the bathroom before. ;) And certainly don't jerk off before possible sex.
Even if you cum quickly, no worries, you can still keep kissing, massaging etc..
I personally like doing cunnilingus before entering, possibly even making the woman cum before. That takes away a lot of stress for me.

Thank you for being open, I wish you the best for the next time, don't worry about it. :)
 
DoctorBiggie said:
UPDATE:
She broke with her BF moths before we start something... So, im not in cheating relationship.

The day came... We supposed to have sex.
She came at my place, kissing, touching etc. I was hard, when i took off my clothes, while i was putting my condom, something HORRIBLE started to happen... I just started loosing my erection :(
I was at less than 50% of erection, i tried to put in her but i couldn't because she was sooo damn tight, and im 13-13.5 cm girth ... And the sex didnt happen ....

My mistake (the negative things):
- i had urge to pee (not so big urge) before we started making out
- when i saw my buddy "started to go down" i had anxiety attack and i was ( DA FUQ??? REALLY??? OOMG SUCH A LOSER) and i lost full erection in seconds after this....
- i had period with LOTS of stress, i slept that day only 4-5 hours.. maybe this is the result
- few hours back i je

My lesson from this (the positive things):
- i took off my clothes without thinking " is she going to like me because i dont have abs instead im chubby guy"
- i took my pants off and take off my buddy WITHOUT THINKING "uh, is she going to like my 13 cm buddy??"

HER MISTAKE!!:
- she doesnt even try to help me. She was just laying there, with open legs, naked and she doesnt even touched my buddy... Im not looking for BJ ... I think only a HJ would help me then...

Whatever... I said sorry to her for this. She just looked at me, smile and said, Dont worry baby, can happen to anyone, just dont worry.

We are still "together" and waiting for another chance (we live in different towns so i cant do it when i want) to fix this things (Im already scared if this shit happen to me again :( )
Click to expand...
Don't worry.... these things happen....
Sex is not a chore. You don't have to rush. Just relax.
I know that it is really difficult. I mean, you have been thinking about this day for a very long time and when it finally came, you didn't (cwl).

One more mistake you have done is that you didn't do anything to her. You were so focused on your erection that you completely forgot about her pleasure. You could have resumed kissing and then transit to cunnilingus. If you didn't reach the climax, doesn't mean your partner should too.

Your positive learning experience will surely benefit you later in your sex life. So keep learning.

I will not comment anything about "her mistakes" because I am in no position to do so. I would request everyone not to comment on her part as we are not entitled to.
@DoctorBiggie...... I would also advise you not to discuss her role in sex. It is just not ethical. Just imagine if I discuss your sex life in front of others. It just doesn't seem "ethical".

Her saying "Dont worry baby, can happen to anyone, just dont worry." means she is a real lady to you. Girls like these are hard to find.

So in the end all I can say is that don't stress, it is not good for sex as well as PE.

With that said, happy PE :)
 
The last time I had sex, which was years ago, and was with a hot stripper at KOD in Miami. I could not get past her tight pussy and I had to keep losing erection quality to even think about getting in there. All these thoughts swirling around my head made the worse! You got some awesome advice and I will follow it.
 
You know how most PE-ers have difficulty getting pictures of their erections when they measure? That's because they are performing for a camera, and the erection is tied inextricably with mood. Pressure to perform is NOT sexy, and your penis doesn't lie.

I know exactly how you feel because I struggled with this problem in my late teens and early 20's, couldn't keep an erection when it mattered. I found that there was no quick fix because the problem was fundamental underlying attitudes towards sex, and from what I've read I think you share some of those same attitudes. A LOT of men do!

In short... this isn't a "test" or a "performance" for her. The more you think of it that way, the less interested your penis is. Remember... sex is supposed to be FUN. :)

If you really want to banish this problem forever, check out the book Coping With Premature Ejaculation. This thing revolutionized my entire approach (for the better) and, as much fun as a bigger dick is, changing these underlying attitudes will do WAY more to make you a better lover than PE alone.
 
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Thanks for your support guys!

BTW i forgot to mention my "game"... My part was kissing, neck part, nipple part, cunnilingus and fingering... But however, back than i made few jokes about that with her, her respond was "oh stop it, can happen to anyone" just to relax the tension in her and my head about that situation.

DLD why so long without sex? Or i didnt understand well ?
 
DoctorBiggie said:
Thanks for your support guys!

BTW i forgot to mention my "game"... My part was kissing, neck part, nipple part, cunnilingus and fingering... But however, back than i made few jokes about that with her, her respond was "oh stop it, can happen to anyone" just to relax the tension in her and my head about that situation.

DLD why so long without sex? Or i didnt understand well ?
Click to expand...

I became celibate when I became a minister 11 years ago. I really don’t remember what it’s like, I truly don’t ? I have time enough for the three most important things and it doesn’t include women. I have time for God, my family and the brotherhood.
 
DoctorBiggie said:
Thanks for your support guys!

BTW i forgot to mention my "game"... My part was kissing, neck part, nipple part, cunnilingus and fingering... But however, back than i made few jokes about that with her, her respond was "oh stop it, can happen to anyone" just to relax the tension in her and my head about that situation.

DLD why so long without sex? Or i didnt understand well ?
Click to expand...
ITs Hard bro!
Be confident!
I tried help with looks be a curve in your member:
try quick extender pro or and, all day stretch device by MOS shop!
 
DLD said:
I became celibate when I became a minister 11 years ago. I really don’t remember what it’s like, I truly don’t ? I have time enough for the three most important things and it doesn’t include women. I have time for God, my family and the brotherhood.
Click to expand...
minister, you mean something like priest... In that way?something related with religion ?
 
DLD said:
I became celibate when I became a minister 11 years ago. I really don’t remember what it’s like, I truly don’t ? I have time enough for the three most important things and it doesn’t include women. I have time for God, my family and the brotherhood.
Click to expand...

Remember MOS open 24/7 365 days of the year lol
 
DoctorBiggie said:
minister, you mean something like priest... In that way?something related with religion ?
Click to expand...

I am a minister to 3 congregations now. I became a minister 12 years ago. We do not base our beliefs in religion, we base our beliefs in the Bible which is the word of God. I preach grace in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am a biblical Christian that only use the Bible to teach.
 
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