I need some Desperate Help with an EX

Sorry for it being so long but i really need some help. If anymore needs explained tthen ask me

I havent been on the site for a while because i was dealt the biggest blow ever. MY GF whom i loved so much broke up with me. We had a really bad week and i made some mistakes (bad cmmments and attitude) and the following week i knew it was coming. I felt it from Monday on. Well Fri. rolls around and she comes home from college saying we need to talk. I knew that it was over. Anyway she tells me how the night before she did kiss another guy and she started crying saying she regretted it and so on. I can read this girl for the most part and she truly was sorry. We talked for like 3 hours and she said she just wanted some space because she has never partied or been by herself in her life. So for a while we talk casually but of course she has to bring up "things" that she is diong in college which really hurt me. I got pisssed and things went sour. A week later she calls me saying sorry and crying. Says that she loves me hates what has happened between us, hates herself for who she now is and so on. Talked till about 3AM and the whole time she was crying. Well things were going good and then went sour again because i was drunk one night while she was home and showed up at a party not long after i knew she had left. Guys there were talking a lot of BS about her and said they could get with her and so on. Well finally i blew up at the party, left and called her up calling her a slut and whore etc. This was 2 weeks ago. Since then ive apologized, sent her flowers, and in fact drove 2 hours to her college to see her. I laid roses down the hallway from her door to another room where i was staninding with 40 roses. She of course loved it, hugged me and said she forgave me. We talked about us and so on. She said right now that she doesnt see anything happening between us but still we should talk and such. She said there is a slight chance that we will never be back together so she doesnt want me to wait on her. Thing is she has said this atleast 3 times since we broke up and then called me later in the week crying saying she loved me and such. Well i also do love her and want to wait on her. Her and i were almost perfect together and thats even what many others said. What here is my next move? Should i wait a week when she is home for Christmas break and call her? I told her i was having a party next weekend and she could come but she said she would feel uncomfrotable. What should i do to get her to feel comfortable around me again. I know part of it is because of what i said to her by calling her a whore. A lot of people have talked BS between us and thats really affected us both. What should i do here? To me there is nothing better than her. I realy love this girl and want her back so bad. What should i do?

BIGPimpin said:

Sorry for it being so long but i really need some help. If anymore needs explained tthen ask me

I havent been on the site for a while because i was dealt the biggest blow ever. MY GF whom i loved so much broke up with me. We had a really bad week and i made some mistakes (bad cmmments and attitude) and the following week i knew it was coming. I felt it from Monday on. Well Fri. rolls around and she comes home from college saying we need to talk. I knew that it was over. Anyway she tells me how the night before she did kiss another guy and she started crying saying she regretted it and so on. I can read this girl for the most part and she truly was sorry. We talked for like 3 hours and she said she just wanted some space because she has never partied or been by herself in her life. So for a while we talk casually but of course she has to bring up "things" that she is diong in college which really hurt me. I got pisssed and things went sour. A week later she calls me saying sorry and crying. Says that she loves me hates what has happened between us, hates herself for who she now is and so on. Talked till about 3AM and the whole time she was crying. Well things were going good and then went sour again because i was drunk one night while she was home and showed up at a party not long after i knew she had left. Guys there were talking a lot of BS about her and said they could get with her and so on. Well finally i blew up at the party, left and called her up calling her a slut and whore etc. This was 2 weeks ago. Since then ive apologized, sent her flowers, and in fact drove 2 hours to her college to see her. I laid roses down the hallway from her door to another room where i was staninding with 40 roses. She of course loved it, hugged me and said she forgave me. We talked about us and so on. She said right now that she doesnt see anything happening between us but still we should talk and such. She said there is a slight chance that we will never be back together so she doesnt want me to wait on her. Thing is she has said this atleast 3 times since we broke up and then called me later in the week crying saying she loved me and such. Well i also do love her and want to wait on her. Her and i were almost perfect together and thats even what many others said. What here is my next move? Should i wait a week when she is home for Christmas break and call her? I told her i was having a party next weekend and she could come but she said she would feel uncomfrotable. What should i do to get her to feel comfortable around me again. I know part of it is because of what i said to her by calling her a whore. A lot of people have talked BS between us and thats really affected us both. What should i do here? To me there is nothing better than her. I realy love this girl and want her back so bad. What should i do?

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well buddy firstly iam sorry bout what happened. From what it sounds like is this is your first relationship, she went to college, you guys tried to stay togather, but the seperation, and her curiosity to see other guys in college is there, and your drunkeness and comments made her decision to experience others in college easier.. Iam only making these assumptions from personal experience, it sounds like my first real relationship.. Anyways what kind of bs were people talking, i know its already over but what u should of done at that party was stand up for her, instead of talking bad to her.. Said hey buddie, how u gonna get with that girl if iam with her!! Remember when u take a pretty girl to a party guys are gonna look and make comments, its an insecurity that i posses myself but you learn to deal. Ok speal speal speal. I don't know even if this is helping.. Ok next, to get her back well id say the best way at this point is to give her space. She will date, maybe find a guy a like him alout, or not and realize she still likes u. But don't deny yourself the right to go out and date when you know she is flirting, and doing college shit u know.. Remember this to whatever your thinking she is doing in college when shes not home, or talking to you is probly way worse than what she is actually doing, and she's probly thinking bout you. Give it space. Just my opinion though...

Jareth said:

well buddy firstly iam sorry bout what happened. From what it sounds like is this is your first relationship, she went to college, you guys tried to stay togather, but the seperation, and her curiosity to see other guys in college is there, and your drunkeness and comments made her decision to experience others in college easier.. Iam only making these assumptions from personal experience, it sounds like my first real relationship.. Anyways what kind of bs were people talking, i know its already over but what u should of done at that party was stand up for her, instead of talking bad to her.. Said hey buddie, how u gonna get with that girl if iam with her!! Remember when u take a pretty girl to a party guys are gonna look and make comments, its an insecurity that i posses myself but you learn to deal. Ok speal speal speal. I don't know even if this is helping.. Ok next, to get her back well id say the best way at this point is to give her space. She will date, maybe find a guy a like him alout, or not and realize she still likes u. But don't deny yourself the right to go out and date when you know she is flirting, and doing college shit u know.. Remember this to whatever your thinking she is doing in college when shes not home, or talking to you is probly way worse than what she is actually doing, and she's probly thinking bout you. Give it space. Just my opinion though...

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Well the guys talking shit happened a long time after the breakup. I did make a comment to the guys and told them that they were full of shit because i knew the girl and that she wasnt that way but i dont think she knows that. This is not my frist relationship but my first to where i actually cared and loved the girl. Thing is i have a gilr that i could be hooked up with right now. In fact i used to be interested in this girl before i met my ex but now im just not. It's weird, i have no interest for this girl or any other right now. Just my ex is all i want to see or be wtih

Yeah i figured it was your first "real" relationship, i know u have dated but this is the first girl u have really cared about. Listen the reason i belive you feel this way is because of that, as well as her willingness to tell u "not to wait" date, and her being with other guys is just aching at u Dude i know how u feel. I think the best thing is for u to give her space. That is my opinion take it for what u want, your a young dude and have already stated that there is another girl u could be with but don't want to. That right there tells me you have girls that willl be intrested in you, so why not give the life a try.. Date, have sex, have fun you know what to do!!!!

ok this is rough as I'm sure most of us have been here before. But fact is sounds like she has couriousities about other guys, wanting to date them, what others would treat her like etc... This is what I think is going on. basicly since you aren't around, guys see her without a guy and flirt, she likes it of course because it boosts her self esteem and is eating it up. Does she like/love you.??? probably from the sounds of it. and is why she feels guilty later because she has feelings for you but likes/desires that immediate attention. anyways I'm sure you figured all that out.

so on advice on how to get her back. Hydromaxmm. well if it were me take a few steps back and when she comes home try and hang out and spend alot of casual time together...mall, movies, dinner, or whatever. you know things that may remind her how much you mean to her. maybe a few days before she leaves ask her if you 2 can work on your relationship again. if she again seems dead set against it, just say ok and and move on through your evening/day. if the answer is still no from her do some casual dating with other girls and see how it goes. chicks seem to get jealous over that kind of stuff. the dating around thing will also help open you up. will help with your self confidence with females getting back into the dating scene. Heck who knows she may actually like that new fire in you that may be a result from joining the dating game again and be reinterested.

the absolute worse case would be she moves on, but stays a great friend to you (as long as you let it), and maybe at a later time you can be together. and even better is if it is over you already have your foot in the door on dating.

loco said:

ok this is rough as I'm sure most of us have been here before. But fact is sounds like she has couriousities about other guys, wanting to date them, what others would treat her like etc... This is what I think is going on. basicly since you aren't around, guys see her without a guy and flirt, she likes it of course because it boosts her self esteem and is eating it up. Does she like/love you.??? probably from the sounds of it. and is why she feels guilty later because she has feelings for you but likes/desires that immediate attention. anyways I'm sure you figured all that out.

so on advice on how to get her back. Hydromaxmm. well if it were me take a few steps back and when she comes home try and hang out and spend alot of casual time together...mall, movies, dinner, or whatever. you know things that may remind her how much you mean to her. maybe a few days before she leaves ask her if you 2 can work on your relationship again. if she again seems dead set against it, just say ok and and move on through your evening/day. if the answer is still no from her do some casual dating with other girls and see how it goes. chicks seem to get jealous over that kind of stuff. the dating around thing will also help open you up. will help with your self confidence with females getting back into the dating scene. Heck who knows she may actually like that new fire in you that may be a result from joining the dating game again and be reinterested.

the absolute worse case would be she moves on, but stays a great friend to you (as long as you let it), and maybe at a later time you can be together. and even better is if it is over you already have your foot in the door on dating.

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I agree, think he should take a step in the dating, scene but u know how hard that is i mean leting your real first girl go. Shit ive been broken up with my first real love for like 4 or 5 years she has moved on and moved, and i have absolutely no feelings for her, but to this day for some reason at least once a day she pops in my mind..

Sorry, I don't really buy the fact that she wanted to try out other guys just because she was at college.

Women are attracted to men's status. Women are attracted to men who attract lots of women.

If she'd seen you chatting and having fun with other women then that would have created some jealousy and she'd have hung onto you tighter than the safety bar on a rollercoaster.

Sounds like you're now in the dreaded "Let's Just Be Friends" phase. It's almost impossible to recover from there.

Laying down roses was really nice and sweet, but it doesn't prove that you're a man she should be having sex with. It makes you come across as a thoughtful, provider type of guy, worth marrying much later on down the line, but not someone to have a whole bunch of fun with at college.

If you really do want her back, then you need to start being a lot more interesting to other women. You need to attract a whole lot of other women and create a whole lot of jealousy by proving that you can have other women and that she was lucky to have you.

visionary said:

Sorry, I don't really buy the fact that she wanted to try out other guys just because she was at college.

Women are attracted to men's status. Women are attracted to men who attract lots of women.

If she'd seen you chatting and having fun with other women then that would have created some jealousy and she'd have hung onto you tighter than the safety bar on a rollercoaster.

Sounds like you're now in the dreaded "Let's Just Be Friends" phase. It's almost impossible to recover from there.

Laying down roses was really nice and sweet, but it doesn't prove that you're a man she should be having sex with. It makes you come across as a thoughtful, provider type of guy, worth marrying much later on down the line, but not someone to have a whole bunch of fun with at college.

If you really do want her back, then you need to start being a lot more interesting to other women. You need to attract a whole lot of other women and create a whole lot of jealousy by proving that you can have other women and that she was lucky to have you.

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Its funny how u don't think college had anything to do with it, but yet later in your post you state "not someone to have a whole bunch of fun with at college" explain that one to me man. Ive been in this situation before college plays a role in her actions, and his feelings..

Jareth said:

Its funny how u don't think college had anything to do with it, but yet later in your post you state "not someone to have a whole bunch of fun with at college" explain that one to me man. Ive been in this situation before college plays a role in her actions, and his feelings..

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i think he was just using college as an example, I imagine what he really meant was that the gurl no longer sees him as a desirable/fun guy in general < (correct me if i'm wrong visionary :\).

What visionary wrote is so TRUE though

cheers

skeet said:

i think he was just using college as an example, I imagine what he really meant was that the gurl no longer sees him as a desirable/fun guy in general < (correct me if i'm wrong visionary :\).

What visionary wrote is so TRUE though

cheers

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i guess. I agree that flirtiing might make her jealous, and agree she doesn't seem him to be fun/desiriable because she sees new guys in college with different "charisma" and whatnot, basically he neeeds to get out and date, she is that is all the advice i could give. Where is DLD he has hand multiple woman over 100 his advice with age would be best here...

Before anything else comes a number of common interests not connected with sex. If you will share a number of common interests and goals as well, and work on those first, then your love will start beng based on something other than sexual curiousity and fly-by-night relationship that's as flimsy as the paper decorations at the next party.

No wonder so many guys are "jealous." I would be too, if I really didn't have anything solid to hang onto, or give her anything solid to hang onto.

Sexually, a woman has dozens of "errogenous zones," and can easily make meaningful transformations between zones, whenever she has to. If her first boyfriend has an 8" dick and he showcases that to her, then she makes the transformation to that feature. If her second boyfriend has a 6", skinny dick and she likes him, then she makes the zone transformation during sex to whatever she really enjoys with him.

Women aren't hung up on cocks like men are (well, most women), because they have so many other "zones" to fulfill during sex. The guy who "pushes all their buttons" will be considered the BEST during sex. But that may not be the guy she actually marries, either. And even if it is, they might soon get divorced, and she might marry the guy that she feels the best with, most of the time, even though he isn't the best lay she ever had.

So my advice is to put first things first. Suppose you got your dick cut off. What kind of relationship could you have after that, which would still hold her to you? Work from that standpoint, and then let your prowess in bed become that special, extra gift that she knows she isn't going to get, anywhere else.

With that attitude about dating and women, you will never lose, and the bad women won't be attracted to that, either. They want all attention. They were raised totally spoiled. They plow only for themselves, and leave as soon as they get bored or their flighty interests take them somewhere else.

What about having kids? How do you expect to raise them? If you have a girl, will you raise her to be like those women no man can trust, who is never satisfied, with anybody for long? If you have a boy, do you want him fixated on his dick to the exclusion of all common sense, grades, activities, and everything meaningful in life?

It's great that a man can increase the size of his cock. It was meant to be that way. But we really should find the happy, healthy, and balanced way to do it. We will accomplish so much more, have a good time, have no guilt, and gain something permanent. Nobody has to be to be nuts to want it, or to get it. It's your plumbing and there's nothing wrong about it, morally, as long as it's done for the right reasons and not strictly selfish, although it's partly selfish.

I've already seen gains in the first month, and feel like I'm not wasting my time. I also get harder, last longer, and please my wife a lot more. Is that wrong? I know it isn't. Am I "strange" to want to do this? No. But I could be strange. It depends strictly on WHY I want it, and HOW I do it. Strange is not the "thing." Strange is the WRONG USE of the thing.

well sorry to change this all around seeing as its my own thread but ive recently found out ive been played bad and im far better off without her. Ill explain in another thread