Why do people cheat in a relationship?
People's nature is not monogamous.
People are not honest with each other.
People are afraid of loosing what they have now and keep it just in case new relationship won't work out. Think of especially women, usually they only break up when they know for sure they have a new boyfriend already.
People stay with people just for money and still need a big cock for example or hardcore sex or whatever the desire might be.
People are not honest with each other.
People are afraid of loosing what they have now and keep it just in case new relationship won't work out. Think of especially women, usually they only break up when they know for sure they have a new boyfriend already.
People stay with people just for money and still need a big cock for example or hardcore sex or whatever the desire might be.
Because being with the same boring piece of shit is boring. People are only together in the first place for convenience. Why not get what you can while you can get it? A relationship is nothing more than a business partnership. Fuck it.
walkingmoon;519165 said:
whether people are naturally mono or it s a choice doesnt really matter to me. i feel like most people are pretty monogamous but temporarily... not for life. most people dont have 5 partners they are all fucking at the same time and trying to maintain relationships with. but they tend to stay to one while they are with them for a moment.
i think once you have kids it should change your feelings on monogamy. its just not feasible for a man to raise children in multiple families in modern urban society. pretty sure we all know trashy "baby daddies" who have kids with 5 moms and dont do shit to take care of them but all the time proclaiming loudly how great of a dad they are and "I love my kids!". If you are just getting pussy on the side i think you should talk to your partner about it instead of lying. she might be into threesomes, you never know.
in a couple relationship people should be able to discuss other partners and decide for them selves. i know my wife isnt really into having other partners (as far as I know) and i really dont think it is worth the hassle to cheat and try to deal with another womans bullshit. id rather just get a pro and call it a night if i wanted to do something like that.
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Usually when someone cheats (infidelity) in a relationship it is because something is wrong within the relationship. Intimate relationships are based on emotional attachment and having certain personal needs fulfilled by another person where one cannot provide it for one's self. When one isn't getting the emotional support needed and/or certain personal needs fulfilled, after waiting long enough, one will eventually seek for it else where.
Basic foundation of any relationship is Committment, Communication, Confidence (trust), & Compromise. Break one or any of these (4-C's) and the relationship will begin to deteriorate. Left untreated and it will eventually become completely dysfunctional and/or crumble apart. The number one 'C' to be broken in a relationship is Communication.
..hope this give some direction for you.
Basic foundation of any relationship is Committment, Communication, Confidence (trust), & Compromise. Break one or any of these (4-C's) and the relationship will begin to deteriorate. Left untreated and it will eventually become completely dysfunctional and/or crumble apart. The number one 'C' to be broken in a relationship is Communication.
..hope this give some direction for you.
Sometimes, if they're Generals in the United States Army, like this guy:
They cheat on their wives because they're ugly, unappreciative feminist bitches like this woman:
View attachment 26355
And then the have affairs with other women, like this woman:
View attachment 26356
Who writes a book titled "All In", describing her sexually erotic adventures in Afghanistan and reads excerpts like this:
[video]http://www.hulu.com/watch/426525#i0,p10,d1[/video]
They cheat on their wives because they're ugly, unappreciative feminist bitches like this woman:
View attachment 26355
And then the have affairs with other women, like this woman:
View attachment 26356
Who writes a book titled "All In", describing her sexually erotic adventures in Afghanistan and reads excerpts like this:
[video]http://www.hulu.com/watch/426525#i0,p10,d1[/video]
All In, as in cocks all in her holes. Tramp.
People may cheat for several reasons, first of all...monogami is a social structure and in the modern world it works good, I have hard to believe that it would work if people where screwing around with everyone ad getting kids here and there.
Men exist to reproduce and spread all there genes, they can fuck several females in a week and all those girls could get pregnant and have there child.
Girls has to carry the child for 9 months and they will try to get a partner that's good and have alpha qualities, that they think have good genes and can protect them.
Therefor it's in mens nature to look for other willing females, and girls will look for guys who are more alpha.
alpha is in my opinion someone who have a lot of the following qualities(I guess there is more stuff too.):
Power
Big dick
Money
Health
Humour
Looks
Fitness and muscles
Dominant
Intelligence
You don't have to have it all to be alpha, I think you become more alpha by having enough of some of the qualities.
You might be a fat dominant ugly rich man and be alpha but you can also be a dominant jerk with cocky humour, a big dick and looks and be alpha.
Girls will if they are not under to much social conditioning and feel that they wont get discovered, sleep with a guy who is more alpha then you.
People may also sleep with others if they feel they are getting to little attention but also if they get to much and feel constricted, they might sleep with others due to poor self esteem. and it doesn't have to be that they don't love you anymore.
I cheated 3 times with my last gf, I still loved her a lot but I had poor self esteem and felt horny and those girls where willing.
anyway the latest survey i read told me that 52% of men have cheated and 54% of the females. So I just think that's a part of life.
Men exist to reproduce and spread all there genes, they can fuck several females in a week and all those girls could get pregnant and have there child.
Girls has to carry the child for 9 months and they will try to get a partner that's good and have alpha qualities, that they think have good genes and can protect them.
Therefor it's in mens nature to look for other willing females, and girls will look for guys who are more alpha.
alpha is in my opinion someone who have a lot of the following qualities(I guess there is more stuff too.):
Power
Big dick
Money
Health
Humour
Looks
Fitness and muscles
Dominant
Intelligence
You don't have to have it all to be alpha, I think you become more alpha by having enough of some of the qualities.
You might be a fat dominant ugly rich man and be alpha but you can also be a dominant jerk with cocky humour, a big dick and looks and be alpha.
Girls will if they are not under to much social conditioning and feel that they wont get discovered, sleep with a guy who is more alpha then you.
People may also sleep with others if they feel they are getting to little attention but also if they get to much and feel constricted, they might sleep with others due to poor self esteem. and it doesn't have to be that they don't love you anymore.
I cheated 3 times with my last gf, I still loved her a lot but I had poor self esteem and felt horny and those girls where willing.
anyway the latest survey i read told me that 52% of men have cheated and 54% of the females. So I just think that's a part of life.
I believe most men cheat because they are unhappy in the relationship they are in.
But now you are thinking well no shit.
The question is why are they unhappy?
I believe the answer to this is because most guys will latch to the first woman that gives them any attention instead of exploring their options or they just don't want a change or they like having regular sex to just bust a nut while they go look for better options.
But now you are thinking well no shit.
The question is why are they unhappy?
I believe the answer to this is because most guys will latch to the first woman that gives them any attention instead of exploring their options or they just don't want a change or they like having regular sex to just bust a nut while they go look for better options.
There is the conquering new turf factor. It is fun and exciting to bang and claim new pussy. It's a very narcissistic thing to do.
AdmiralLongDong;519379 said:
This is the best response. Women think the exact same way for new cock.
Peruano, I have a positive opinion about open relationships in regards to satisfying us emotionally and sexually.
People still might want some strong kind of partnership to raise a family I believe, but it need not be marriage.
To me the only reasons these kinds of relationships haven't been accepted is because people strongly believe in what society showed them a relationship should look like, they have FEAR of what others will THINK of them if they themselves were in such a relationship, and they have an intense jealousy that exhibits itself in several ways, mostly through not wanting to see others enjoy the same kind of relationship with someone they like, but also seeing third parties do this.
As for why people cheat, I can only guess it is because they want to be with someone different. Variety is a good thing in my opinion in nearly all facets of life. I hate to use a food analogy, but it works. If you try a another style of your favorite dish, even if it turns out to not be as good, you will still enjoy it, and chances are you will enjoy your favorite dish even more the next time you have it. When we don't allow ourselves or our partners to be open about who we befriend or get intimate with, and make ourselves afraid of being honest about how we feel, why then do we expect our relationships to not become dishonest?
There are more complex reasons for specific examples but I think that the want of a variety of emotional and sexual relationships is the main reason.
People still might want some strong kind of partnership to raise a family I believe, but it need not be marriage.
To me the only reasons these kinds of relationships haven't been accepted is because people strongly believe in what society showed them a relationship should look like, they have FEAR of what others will THINK of them if they themselves were in such a relationship, and they have an intense jealousy that exhibits itself in several ways, mostly through not wanting to see others enjoy the same kind of relationship with someone they like, but also seeing third parties do this.
As for why people cheat, I can only guess it is because they want to be with someone different. Variety is a good thing in my opinion in nearly all facets of life. I hate to use a food analogy, but it works. If you try a another style of your favorite dish, even if it turns out to not be as good, you will still enjoy it, and chances are you will enjoy your favorite dish even more the next time you have it. When we don't allow ourselves or our partners to be open about who we befriend or get intimate with, and make ourselves afraid of being honest about how we feel, why then do we expect our relationships to not become dishonest?
There are more complex reasons for specific examples but I think that the want of a variety of emotional and sexual relationships is the main reason.
neckercube;519493 said:
Damn dirty hippie
I cheated when I was a younger man, I guess it had a lot to do with dividing and conquering, the whole male alpha thing. As I got older I started to see how much work cheating really was and decided being with one person would be so much easier
Today I am single and celibate, much by choice. I have more interest in my work than I do sex and females. I would rather give that time to you guys, [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] is a big enough girlfriend!
Today I am single and celibate, much by choice. I have more interest in my work than I do sex and females. I would rather give that time to you guys, [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] is a big enough girlfriend!I'm going to be the opposite. I'm going to be a sac of shit towards women until I'm too old to pull anymore. Can't wait!
Two primary reasons..
1) Humans are not naturally monogamous (though we are equally not the fuck and chuck type), in the wild we are pack animals and so the males of the group will have sex with all the females in the group and raise the children as their pack. This is a little like a lion rather than a bear who will meet the female and then never see her again.
2) Love is fleeting, love is the subconscious recognition of a compatible mate but over time you will likely fall out of love (there are many women you can fall in love with through your lifetime)
I've never understood how you can claim to love somebody and cheat or be in an open relationship, i view that as a rejection of love from/to you/her.
1) Humans are not naturally monogamous (though we are equally not the fuck and chuck type), in the wild we are pack animals and so the males of the group will have sex with all the females in the group and raise the children as their pack. This is a little like a lion rather than a bear who will meet the female and then never see her again.
2) Love is fleeting, love is the subconscious recognition of a compatible mate but over time you will likely fall out of love (there are many women you can fall in love with through your lifetime)
I've never understood how you can claim to love somebody and cheat or be in an open relationship, i view that as a rejection of love from/to you/her.
The reason why I cheat in my relationship because I can say this like any other person can say "I am not perfect" and so not you so we always find things that interest us a little more than what the person we are with.
Sometimes, I like to try new things with other people to see their reaction (which is such a turn on for me). But some people just do it just because and thats the way it is.
Sometimes, I like to try new things with other people to see their reaction (which is such a turn on for me). But some people just do it just because and thats the way it is.
Actually, I view it differently, she has enough commitment to you, respect for you, and trust in you to communicate her sexual desires/needs instead of going behind your back. It's hurtful to hear, but the emotional/mental pain isn't as severe as if you found out after the fact. Personally, I would explore her missing needs and reasons for seeking out another man sexually. Communication is one key factor in a healthy relationship, letting each other know what is going on inside.rakas;520256 said:
I'm not one to judge a person's choice of consensual sexual life-style, nor am I one to deny my significant other her happiness of choices, but it doesn't mean I have to like it and live with it. The choices one makes affect the others in a relationship and should be up for discussion from all parties involved before making a finally decision. This allows everyone to have a choice in the matter affecting the relationship and the possible outcome(s) from it.
Threak-X;520272 said:
Or you could say that she's selfish enough to try to get you to change into something you aren't since she wants something (sex) that is, in fact, rejecting in its behavior if not its intended effect (which is to get sex, let's be honest). For a woman to tell you such a thing isn't an indication of some deep emotional connection. It's putting the so called deep emotional connection on a tier below sexual desire. I've been the second man in such relationships and let me tell you that there was some deep pathology at work there and lots of co-dependence on the part of the couple but there wasn't what I would call a deep and healthy emotional connection.
With deep emotional connections people grow into one another, not apart. Do some people have perfectly happy marriages/relationships based on open sexuality? Sure, but I wouldn't say it's because of some vast personal enlightenment they've attained. Quite the contrary in my opinion.
Threak-X;520272 said:
I have no issue with the communication of such desires be it saying that she wants something kinky or even that she fancies the ass off somebody but to actually act on a desire to have intercourse with somebody else takes it a step too far and i couldn't ever see myself in a position where i would willingly accept my mate having sex with another guy. I also don't see why it should be discussed as a practical outcome, if a girl was to ask me if she could have sex elsewhere, i would quite simply say "not a chance".
MAXAMEYES;520418 said:
Exactly. I can understand if the relationship is quite casual and they do not love each other (they may like each other a lot or fancy the pants off each other however) then quite naturally i can see how it may be something to do however if you develop a serious relationship and love each other fully then i simply cannot understand how any man could grant permission to his girl to be ploughed by another man.
I'm not debating the merits of an open relationship, just under what circumstances they could be allowed.
rakas;520339 said:
I completely agree. If a girl has the audacity to ask that question, I'd be asking questions of her.
I feel it is a pride thing more than a love or trust issue. If you can't give a woman the pleasure she could have then why would you deprive someone you love of experiencing better sex? That's like saying you can't eat pizza hut because your wife cooked a crappy meal. IMO having open communication about lacking sex life could save more relationships than hurt.
It is human nature to want different partners. If its from not knowing what sex with a different person is like or just having a sexual preference that the person can't or won't fill. I'm not saying anyone should have sex with somoen other than their partner but if you truely loved them it would be better than actually getting cheated on or being dumped.
There would be huge repercussions to letting someone into a relationship sexually and I don't think you could ever understand until it happens. You would have to have an enormous amount of trust but in theory it could work....I mean don't you want your lover to have the most pleasure out of life?
It is human nature to want different partners. If its from not knowing what sex with a different person is like or just having a sexual preference that the person can't or won't fill. I'm not saying anyone should have sex with somoen other than their partner but if you truely loved them it would be better than actually getting cheated on or being dumped.
There would be huge repercussions to letting someone into a relationship sexually and I don't think you could ever understand until it happens. You would have to have an enormous amount of trust but in theory it could work....I mean don't you want your lover to have the most pleasure out of life?
rebel2011;520443 said:
No. I want her there to cook my meals, clean my skid marks, paint the house, bring me a beer and let me unload my balls in her holes. And if she cheats, I'll beat her like a cop beats a minority.
rakas you are entitled to the type of relationship you want to fulfill your happiness as well as your mate/spouse. You're open to the communication of it, but under no circumstances open to the actual act of it, fair enough. If she has no respect (love) for your wishes, concerns, she will commit infidelity whether you know about it or not. The communication is important because everyone should be aware of the possible negative outcome/affect to the relationship. Ultimately, the decision is hers, rationally discussing your side with her about your feelings, reasons, and consequences to the relationship gives her more to make an informative decision. Also, it allows you have a choice to live with it or not if she goes through with it. You shouldn't deny her of happiness, you have to trust her to enough to make the right decision for the relationship. These are the testing/trying times to a relationship that will either create a stronger bond working through it or dissolve the bond down to nothing.rakas;520339 said:
Communication & Trust: key elements to a healthy relationship
She sounds like a Truck-Driver's Dream Woman, especially making her paint the house when you're on the road. (LoL)MikeShlort;520447 said:
rebel2011;520443 said:
Would you honestly let your wife/partner have sex with another person to make them happy?
^ No Lot LizardsThreak-X;520454 said:
It's a valid point Threak and yes i'm open to the discussion of it (though the answer would be no) but i don't understand what trust has to do with it. What you appear to be saying is that if she is not satisfied than she will cheat anyway and this i agree with however what you then appear to say (correct me if i'm wrong) is that you should therefore trust that its only sexual and let her have it but this is where i struggle to understand the mindset because be it getting a larger penis or becoming immensely sexual skilled there are so many options available as alternatives and i would still retain my original point which is that if a women acts on these impulses either deceitfully or after i said no then i would view that as a rejection of me as her mate (and me rejecting her for being a slut and weak willed) and therefore break up. Under no circumstances could i ever see myself willing to suBathmateit to being the beta male of the relationship so to speak.
neognostic couples are not in love 100% of the time in any relationship. A person's preferences, views, and so on change over time, sometimes, not in the same direction within the relationship. If you're stating the emotional connection is dropped below the sexual desire tier, then, the action is some type of mask to avoid a deeper issue. This action will damage the emotional connection and the relationship will become dysfunctional eventually if left untreated. Unhealthy, as you experienced from being the 2nd man in the relationship.neognostic;520290 said:
hepcat;520483 said:
You have to do it the right way. I think it would be tricky. You're better off being an asshole than being a nice guy, but it has to be genuine. If they can sense it's a ploy, they will disregard you.
I'm not sure about all the taking her to shitty restaurants stuff, I would think once you have her on the hook enough to go out with you, you're set. I would never buy a woman anything as a gift, but I would probably pay for a date if I was the one who asked her out, making clear that it's a date. I don't worry about this kind of thing anyways. The focus shouldn't be on the activity, it should be on how you are going to hit it off with her. If she likes you and you have a connection, you could take her to a coffee shop and sit and talk for hours.
Getting back to being a prick, it's hard to say. I tend to speak to people in real life how I would speak here, maybe being a bit more careful with my wording because my only source of socializing is the workplace. At my one job, where it is middle aged office staff women, I speak very differently than at my other job where it is high school and college aged labourers, but the message is generally the same and I mean what I say. The delivery is different and there are just things I can't say.
I don't get girls, I'm not good with them but I will tell you, if there is a girl I like, I will go out of my way to say the most awkward, belligerent non sequiturs for her benefit, as long as it were clever and funny enough to make the room laugh. Otherwise, I'd just sit quiet and avoid any eye contact with her. Pretending you don't care about her existence is important, I think. But if she makes the effort to communicate with you, you can't act like an aloof dickhead. I avoid all eye contact and noticing her at all, unless she initiates verbal communication, then at that point I would probably look her in the eyes the whole time like I wanted to fuck her, or if I was in a certain mood, I would continue to avoid eye contact with her and keep the response to a minimal. It's really hard to give any advice, as I don't know shit and it all depends on split second reactions. She also has to be physically attracted to you in the first place, or you're just another sucker trying to talk her into liking you.
I guess to sum it up, you're better served always being completely honest with a twist of humour, or if you're being sarcastic, make it so it's difficult for the person to discern if you're being serious or not. All these little games don't really mean shit though because if I liked a certain girl and felt I had a chance to get her, I'd probably walk up to her and say "date me, you sarcastic prick". This has yet to happen.
hepcat what you are describing is assertive, confident, decisive type man which women love, without all the added negativity. Could you image growing up watching your Mother being treated the way you described in your quote by your Father. Both Dre and Snoop are married with children, you think they treat the Mother of their children like "Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks"? All that is a facade, an image to sell records. Treat a woman with respect but don't place her on a pedestal, unless you want to look up her dress (pervert). Anyways, MikeShlort has it right, don't make yourself easily available to the woman. A good woman doesn't like a man she can easily get and control all the time. Also, MikeShlort is saying make the woman's experience fun with you, memorable, be humorous without being overly offensive. Basically, to keep things simple in the beginning and build the connection first before making any major emotional, financial, or physical investments with her.hepcat;520483 said:
hepcat;521247 said:
So stop trying, who cares.
hepcat;521261 said:
You clearly missed what Threak-X and I were trying to tell you. You're better off not worrying about things like that and worrying about important things ie - how much you can win at life and the like. People (including females) will have more respect for you.