My story is a long one......
I'm going to organize it as best as possible.
(If I have any grammatical errors don't hold it against me I did not go to school for that and I don't care) (Also if you are one to knit pick on citations or anything such you can suck a dick)
(sorry but this isn't professional, a news article, publication or an essay etc.)
(Also If i digress its because 6 years is a long time and memories pop up while writing this)
Intro:
I'm about to be 25 years old. I started P.E in the summer of 2012 (6 years now). During my journey I've lurked in the shadows gathering info on various websites, such as this one, pegym, thunders, Goodlookingloser and more. Since 2012, I made it my goal to find a way (still looking) to increase the size of my dick, be more confident, and more self loving.
Highschool
I was a very self conscious individual throughout highschool. In addition, to this I was bullied at home and in school. I was not a "popular" kid nor was I an "unpopular" kid. I was pretty much your average guy. Ultimately, my High School years weren't spectacular and I wasn't satisfied with life and myself. When I graduated I wanted to make BIG changes by/before the time I went away to school.
In Highschool I only had 2 Girlfriends (which I don't really count because it was "highschool" and they were short term). My sexual experience was not where I wanted it to be nor was it amazing like your typical alpha male. One of my ex's from that time told me that my dick was "not that big". Just like any guy I reacted badly because it hurts to hear something like that.
When I looked up the average all I could compare myself to was adult entertainment. Obviously I know that half of it is smoke and mirrors/lighting/camera angles. When I read what was documented as average I took out a ruler to measure my dick to see where I fell in line. I wasn't tiny, but my stats at the time were
EL: 5 inches (when I had 100% strong firm erections)
FL (soft) : 2 and half inches.
EGL : 4.5 inches
FG (Flaccid girth) : unknown because cold environments, weather, gym and other factors that made it difficult to determine the actual girth
Now some will say that's close to average, but to me i felt like I was at the bottom tier of average. Again I am a self conscious individual and thought I was inadequate in comparison to a male adult entertainment star. Even in Highschool guys who talked big game or had multiple girlfriends truly acted like they had swinging dicks(or I had thought).
Sadly, I don't have an accurate picture of my starting size. I wish I had a picture from when I was 18 (when I started this journey). I only have an erect picture of my dick at that time. To be honest I was pretty ashamed to take a true full body/ruler picture. However, whenever I look back at that picture of what my dick used to be I can vividly remember taking that picture and seeing how skinny my dick was and how small it was. ( I can show it if requested, but it wouldn't make sense)
(Thinking back and now sharing my story is really starting to bring back the good and bad memories of the journey lol)
Summer 2012
When I graduated High school I used some of the money I got from my minimum wage job and graduation money to buy dick pills. At the time an Ad got me to buy these pills called "naturally huge". Clearly I was retarded and gullable to buy a 3 month supply and not see any results in that time period. The first two months (June/July) I wasted time and felt deceived that I spent money on a bunch of bullshit. My dick literally looked the same. I was still ambitious to find another alternative.
It wasn't until I found the site Goodlookingloser where this guy name Chris actually went on camera and showed his dick (PROOF) and devices he used to make his dick bigger. He was such an interesting guy that was a big part of my journey from 2012-2015. A huge thank you to him for giving me the inspiration to find consistency and motivation in this journey.
During that time
Bathmate was in its infancy. Chris was a
bathmate user and I was hooked when I saw his results. I bought one right before I went to college. Specifically, I bought the hercules model, which is now what I consider outdated. I was able to try it out and follow some of the routines he had suggested on his website. I was amazed on the temporary results and that my dick could fluctuate to bigger sizes (depending on how long I was in the
bathmate).
a
I still remember pumping my dick for the first time ( taking a picture as well)
College (college number 1 - 2012-2014)
Bathmate was not the only thing Chris recommended on his site. He also tampered with extenders, manual stretches,
Phallosan Forte and more.
I was your typical broke college kid, but with a dick pump ready for college parties and living the "good" life. I remember my first semester was solely dedicated to gaining what I could by religiously pumping. My research online suggested that "newbies" gain the quickest and could gain from .25-.5 inches in 6 months. Now that statement depends on the user/person and the consistency and method of enlargement. Since I only had a
bathmate I was limited on knowledge and experience.
Now I wasn't keeping track (again I regret it), but I had jumped up to 5.75 inches erect in my
bathmate. I knew it was taking me somewhere as the minimal gains gave my dick a better appearance and motivation to grow more. By my second semester I started hooking up with girls by association of friends. Even though I wasn't "lengthy" my girth increases were what satisfied these girls.
Purposely I would pump before I had sex. Obviously it because I was at my thickest and longest. Overtime the endurance or "lasting" of the temporary gains were starting to last longer each time.
Now I was idiot at times....
Actually I was more reckless.
Bathmate doesn't have an indicator for the amount of pressure within the
bathmate. Also the company itself recommended 15-20 minutes max. My stupid ass decided to base the time spent in the
bathmate over the time I would spend with a girl later that day or night. So If I was going to see a girl in a few hours, but I had to leave to run errands or something I would pump an extra 5-10 minutes in addition, to the 15-20 minutes. This lead to overpumping, which I'll talk about a little later.
Now I had roommates and it was hard to sneak off for the time spent on pumping my dick.
I made excuses that I was taking a shit and that after I would take shower. All of that so "20+ minutes" didn't seem like a long time in the shower. It worked though..... no one questioned it further.
Erection quality issues - 2012 and ongoing
(Now to this day I think I fucked up my bloodflow to my dick) Going back to my second semester I was overpumping my dick for random sex. It was all because I wanted to feel emotionally and physically secured that when I pulled my pants down a girl wouldn't undermine me.
Unfortunately, my erections suffered. My angle of erection started pointing downwards and I was having trouble maintaining and getting an erection when it was time for sex. I read online that it was because I was fatigued, but my dumbass didn't want to "risk" losing gains or stopping to "heal" my dick.
This continued for a while until I saw that people would mix P.E with online pills like cialis and viagra etc. I ended up buying months supply of cialis so that It could help my blood flow.
I've had a couple of girlfriends in that time and Cialis really did wonders. I had some of the best fucks while pumping and taking a good dose.
Bathmate upgrade and Sizegenetics - 2013-2015
A year later I cheated on an ex to be with someone who also was with someone. ( i hope that made sense). I decided to get serious for once and basically fell in "love" (vomit) for a good 2+ years after. She thought I was huge to begin with and had no idea (at first) why I wanted to be even bigger. After a year I tried to explain it to her, but she didn't get it. We both enjoyed the sex though.
To be honest our sex life revolved around me "preparing" and then going to town when I was "done". During our time together she never saw me pre-pumped or anything like that. I avoided all of that just to keep my sanity and self esteem in tact.
I remember plateauing at an actual nbpel of 5.75 inches and whenever I pumped I was at 6. I felt stuck and wanted to be bigger, but I didn't know how.
I got to experiment with new devices, sex toys and a lot more with her. She became "cool" with what I was doing, but it was more of just a "talk" versus actually seeing what I was doing for P.E.
During this time
bathmate came out with their Xtreme models with a hand pump. I also decided to take the plunge and purchase a size genetics ( the basic model). Almost 500 bucks down the drain the Xtreme model was like a gift from god. I was in shock at how quick the gains were in comparison to the hercules model. I grew to a nbpel of 6 inches( if I had good EQ).
When researching online into more forums like pegym and thunders I came to realize I made mistakes along my journey. I focused solely on girth in the beginning of my journey making length harder for me to gain. When I purchased the size genetics I hoped that I would be able to break that plateau and get longer.
To me my new goal (still is today) is to be lengthy versus girthy. My girth right now is fine. From experimenting with different sexual positions with someone who was willing gave me insight on the female orgasm. This allowed me to create my own style of making a girl squirt/cum with my dick/mouth.
Its really all in the hips. Plus if you have a high sex drive like me then a decent sized girth is better than a girth size of a soda can. I've experimented with this and its rough for a girl to have sex multiple times in one day without being super sore. This is obviously not a win win if I'm horny and she is too, but she can't have sex for too long because shes sore from 2 hours ago. Plus blowjobs aren't as pleasing (teeth etc.)
Sorry I digress ^^
Now I want to be visually huge (length) so that it would be more appealing to the eye. When I started using size genetics I was in constant pain every time. The basic model is literally basic as fuck. I didn't know how to properly wrap and the screws on the actual device rusted over time ( i dont know how). I literally used it for 2 months max. Not a lot of time was spent using it either. I'd say 2-6 hours, but constant readjusting and pain.
So I gave up on that device and continued with my xtreme model. I eventually plateaued with that as well. I was still nbpel 6 inches and was still researching ways to become bigger.
Stealth innerwear/ Still on systems/ Cockrings - 2015-2016
So I would say around this time it was 2015 and I was still researching on new alternatives for length. I started to get obsessed with the appearance of a flaccid hang. I was finishing up a workout at the gym and opened the door to the locker room to see this guy toweling off. I was caught by surprise because this dude was nonchalant not giving a shit about what was going on around him. I was annoyed because this dude had a long flaccid. I remember going home thinking like shit I'm not even that hung when I'm flaccid. I had been doing P.E for a while and I still have yet to have a flaccid that looked like that.
Whenever I pumped I really like the look of my dick, however when the effects wore off I still felt I had a long way to go to get a nice flaccid hang. At this point my hang fluctuated between 3.5 inches and 4 inches. It was definitely better than when I had started in 2012, but still not satisfying enough. I really wanted (still do) a hang that is impressively long.
Once again I went online and found forums pertaining to flaccid hangs and ways to increase length. I came across a new device called
stealth innerwear an ADS. It claimed to stretch out your flaccid length and heal it after workouts. At the time I was clueless about this and decided to give it a go. It was cheap so I thought why not? I tried it out and it was great for the first two months. I felt like my flaccid hung closer to 4 inches. The only issue was the sizing of the fabric. It would stretch out after continuous use and I'm pretty sure I graduated the length of the innerwear way too quickly causing slippage of my dick head from the actual opening of the product.
I had bought after 5-6 of them in a span of 4 months. At the time they costed around 27-37 bucks ( i don't remember) but that added up quickly. I soon gave up on that. A few months later after researching again I called the owner of Still on Systems and ended up buying his device for 500-600 bucks ( also dont recall but that shit was expensive)
Basically the device was supposed to stretch your "inner" penis of length thats hidden inside your body. You would attach
weights to a silicone part of the device that held your dick either at the glans, mid shaft or the base. At the time I was gullable and bought the device. The owner was really nice, but I knew I should've done more research.
I tried the product for about 4-5 months. Now I'm not sure how, but from a combination of pumping and using this device to swing
weights I developed a turkey like effect on my balls to my shaft. I don't know if that makes sense, But i read it somewhere on thunders or pegym that its when the ball skin goes up the shaft from continuous skin stretching.
Long story short its still there and its fucking annoying . If I didn't have it my flaccid would look longer, but with it, it's like extra skin. When I wear a condom it's hard for me to roll it to the base, which is really important because I don't want to get any STDS lol ( I can take a pic on request, I'm just writing my story first )
So I discontinued use of the still on systems. I felt that I also rushed the
weight graduation and it ended up fatiguing my dick even more . Also I developed black spots on my dick, which I believe was from the tightness of the silicone. (these dark spots went away over time).
Shortly after my somewhat of a failure of using both products I turned to
cockrings. I read in another forum that
cockrings help cement gains after pumping. It also gives better erections, which I was also lacking. It was my new fixation as it gave me a slightly longer flaccid hang and a thicker base girth.
After that my
bathmate broke =/ the base ripped off. I ended up purchasing the newer Xtreme X50 model (btw before I was using the X40) (Also now on their website the models are completely different but if you're OG then you remember the old names) .
Now at the time I thought a bigger pump equals more room to grow. That's not always the case. There's a bunch of factors that goes completely against my goal for length with this new device.
New beginnings/ Single/ Penis Professor/ - 2016-2017
So my relationship ended up failing. Life happens.........
I was in a weird funk for a year. It was also a time for me to reinvent myself and figure out what the fuck do I want to do with my life and who am I.
We all start somewhere haha.
I decided to get in shape. I used to be a huge stoner and would eat constantly. I was fat and overweight. When I look back I feel disgusted haha. I'm 5'10.
My
weight has fluctuated over the years. Specifically, I've fluctuated from 175 to 210 pounds. Its funny because Ive been an unhealthy 175 and a healthy 175 at different points in my life. Ive also been a healthy 200 and an unhealthy 185. Its been a roller coaster, but I'm starting to understand my body more and more than I did when I was a kid.
So by doing that I also read on a forum that by losing
weight your fat pad also decreases making your flaccid/erect penis longer.
I did that for a year and decided to lay off the
bathmate Xtreme. I decided to cleanse myself and my penis from all devices and start fresh. I invested into the penis professor a program that shows videos on different stretches. I purchased it for 47 bucks i believe. It wasn't a true waist it was just annoying to keep up with. I've been used to the quick results of good ol reliable
bathmate and other devices versus the slow and steady.
Plus I tried the routines recommended on the site for 3 months and I did not see any results. What was surprising was that these were video instructions of a a guy doing the exercises and I followed along while in my bathroom in the shower.
I remember it put my dick in more fatigue. I felt that the absence of the
bathmate had set me back in gains. my nbpel was between 5.75 inches and 6. I had loss a little, but at least I knew that I cemented most of what I've done since 2012. The absence of the
bathmate made me focus on other things and getting my school and work in order.
Plus I was single and not in a relationship anymore. I had to learn to live on my own again and get over a break up.
By the spring/summer of 2017, I missed being sexually active. It was tough going from sex every day/multiple times a day to nothing. I started to fool around with some class mates and girls I met on dating apps. I dug up good ol reliable
bathmate because I knew that I wasn't going to go as I was. Good ol reliable
bathmate had always gave me the confidence before sex.
I remember I got into a fling with a milf/young girl who had a kid when she was 20. That was actually one of the first times I been with someone who had a kid and the experience was different. In comparison to others her vagina was a little loose or at least in my opinion. It made my theory of vaginas after birth more real that if you dont kegel or anything like that your vagina stays somewhat stretched. I can't vouch for anyone else, but this is just a theory with poor evidence lol ( I guess ) .
Moreover, I ended the fling because this girl ended up having feelings for me. I did not not want a relationship and to be honest I was not about the kid part of it. Again, I was in a weird funk that year and having kids that were not my own was not on my agenda nor was it going to be. Having kids scares me, which is ironic because I was with someone who had a kid haha. I guess I'm crazy lol.
Soon after I came across a
cockring website called myhardwear based off in florida I believe. I bought a payload
cockring weight. Its a glans ring with a
weight at the end. I use it on and off. Sometimes when I sleep and it has been good to keep the flaccid stretched a bit. It's just annoying to wear in public as it is noticeable in pants
Moving forward - 2018 - present
Shortly after the fling and using good ol
bathmate again I got back the small gains that I lost. I finally got my work in order and my life is starting to fan out better. I became motivated again to try out new devices. Once again I turned to research and went backwards. Chris from Goodlookingloser had used the
Phallosan Forte. I did not.
I decided during 2018's tax season to spend the almost 400 bucks and try again. Now out of all the extenders and
weight hangers this device was promising. I didn't gain much from EL, but my flaccid length increased to 4.5 inches. From February 2018 up until September 2018 I used it everyday religiously.
All i can say is BRO. this shit works wonders. For the first 3-4 months my flaccid length hung longer. I was in shock that it did. My erect length became closer to 6.5 inches npel. It was great up until.........
The condoms breaking. They were expensive and I didn't have any money to afford new ones. The vacuum pump also broke where you couldn't press down but can squeeze it to pump. It was really weird but I had to use a glans
cock ring to keep the air sealed. Also prior to the vacuum breaking in the pump I ended up getting a REALLY bad blister in May of 2018. It didn't heal until October. Scary right. That's because I'm a dumbass and continued to use the device with biatricin or whatever its called (
ointment) to protect the cut.
I was so focused on the length gains that I completely ignored the health of my dick. Plus May-Sept. I wasn't getting the best gains with the device because It was half broken and I was using glans
cockrings to seal the air into the device. It was a ghetto way of using the device but I was able to maintain the gains. When I stopped using it in September it was because I wanted to heal my dick. It did thank god, but it left me a small scar that I HATE.
2018 was a shitty year. I didn't have sex. I focused on work and the
phallosan gains.
2019
I actually bought a fleshlight because adult entertainment induced erectile dysfunction is a thing. If you don't know what that is its like a flashlight with a fake vagina to fuck. It works for people with premature ejaculation problems, but if you're like me and trying to figure out new ways to figure ED then it's also a good alternative to give your hand a break and reduce hand grip/death grip pressure.
Also if you read earlier I've had ongoing erection problems. I left out pills that I've tried like vigrx plus and L arginine and L-citruline and all sorts. I never really payed attention to supplements and their affects for performance. I did spend money on them from 2013-2016, but I have yet to find anything as good as cialis. As mentioned earlier only cialis has helped in conjunction to P.E. I still hope to one day find a way to get those spontaneous erections that have strong staying power without the use of cialis. Thats a problem I want to weed off.
In addition, to all of this I weigh in between 160 and 170 pounds. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm closer to where I want to be health wise. I'm actually starting to feel more confident about my body now. In the locker room the gym I've started to use the showers there versus waiting to drive home. I started to become more body positive. At the beach I no longer am afraid to take my shirt off or hide away. I'm starting to accept that no ones perfect, but that doesn't mean we can't continue to reinvent and become better versions of ourselves each day.
What I hope to try this year
I just bought the
length master and the
silisleev last week wednesday. I still have no received it. I will check the mail today. But what I hope is someone on this site to maybe provide a good length routine for 2-3 months. I really want to dedicate my time to this as both are good for length stretches and healing in a stretched state.
My flaccid right now is fluctuates between 4.25-5 inches now. I need help on ways to get my flaccid length to 6-6.5 inches.
In 2-3 months I know that's not realistic to jump that high . But if I can get some good promising gains in 2-3 months I'll have hope once again. For example, if I can get over 5 inches flaccid in 2-3 months that'll give me hope.
Ultimately, if the
lengthmaster does justice and if someone wants to seriously take their time to just tell me an 8-12 week program I'd highly appreciate it. No links or pages.
With all seriousness I'm the type of person that likes to be told in a gym what to do versus me doing it. I hate it, But whenever I try to do something on my own I get 50% to 75% of it right and I do something wrong. Hence my past story where I either got a blister or I overpumped, or I did something stupid.
I find my motivation in different bursts at times and I believe 8-12 weeks is a good time frame to get me going. If anyone has any suggestions I legit will take it seriously. I've been doing this since 2012. Clearly I have a lot of patience lol, but I'm tired of wasting my time. I'm tired of doing things incorrectly or not knowing all the info. This will be my last attempt to break this plateau.
Its funny because this is my last attempt at P.E with devices. I looked up Gainswave and the p-shot. If all else fails I'll cough up the dough to fix my erections and gain with that I've already called the doctors listed on the directory to give me details and pictures so.........
BUT FIRST I want to try this and avoid that big cost. I want to see how far the rabbit hole goes with this device and then I'll make up my mind. That and hopefully finding a way to get better erections.
But yeah this is my story.
No need to be shy, tell a story or two, let us know what you're aiming for.