Reporting Happy in Polyamory - Have a new girlfriend :)

[Shion]

I've been married 7 years now. My wife and I are very sexual folks so we were talking about opening up our relationship to some extent for a little while. A few years ago we did so. We started super slow; like posting fetish pictures on the internet, sexting with internet friends. Then we just started looking around for friends we could fuck. It was rocky at first, what with it being a lot harder as a guy to find girls than it does for girls to find guys - and on the opposite end my wife got a ton of matches but they were all rock-bottom folks. And also I tend to be a jealous person but I just kinda figured I'd get over it; you do anything long enough and it becomes common in your life.

Well, my wife's dates didn't last too long, while I didn't find anybody for 3 whole years. You're kind of at the mercy of the algorithms of whatever dating app you use. I also tried barhopping, but there really are no social folks in the bars in the town where I live. If you read any of my other posts you'll hear me talk about how desolate this town is, for friends, work, fun things to do, we're not close to anything else so going into civilization is a day's drive, it's a drag and because it's a retirement town it is ALL old people. The adjacent town has more young people in it but it's been poverty-stricken for way too long. In any case, it was REALLY hard to meet people. The dates that my wife went on mostly took place when she took the bus into the city, or they would drive multiple hours just to see her. (Kinda makes you wonder about the dating pool in the bigger cities.)
I was beginning to become really bitter because she was finding people and I wasn't. I started to wonder what was wrong with me. I exercised, I dressed nicely, I wore cologne, I had great social skills, I didn't slack off or neglect folks, I was genuine, I put my spine into it. After examining every single possible angle, I could only conclude it was this isolated area.

But back in December I met someone that has stuck so far! She used to do sex work in California and she kinda got thrown here by poverty, but also family lives here so she's just kind of manning the place with some other folks. And unlike the dates my wife went on, this one I'm seeing seems to stick as a relationship. My wife had one candidate that seemed like he would be sustainable but he ghosted her, but she might have a candidate in the future. Though she is more secure with herself than I. Now, even though I dipped into this to get some experience and get my body count up so I can be a well-rounded sexual person, I found love in the company of this other person. Her vastly different personality and background means I can have totally different adventures with her and do totally different things. It's tricky balancing a relationship, someone you see once or twice a week in the next town over. You acknowledge that there's gonna be a different dynamic and you're looking for different things. You acknowledge there's a hierarchy with partners, though you get out of it what you put into it. And of course my 2nd partner also sees other people so you get used to that as well. But it's a lot livelier having people in my life that I can love and focus on. And it makes us feel more independent because these are things we did ourselves and not just as the entity society expects us to be.

 

[oldandlively]

Now this is an interesting development. Something to be open minded about and not criticize on any level.

 

[DLD]

Now this is an interesting development. Something to be open minded about and not criticize on any level.

I will criticize as I feel you need to make a commitment to your wife. Since you married and still craving sex i highly recommend a divorce and then find a new wife. Adultery always ends up really fuck up your life. I know because I did the same thing and now I am alone. God needs to be at the center of this to make the best decisions. I pray you stick with your wife and work things out. Today, after all my years of loneliness I only crave my wife and I can't wait to talk with her again to show her how much I've changed. I can tell you I wish I never did all those things. today I remain committed to my wife. I pray you can make things work.

 

[oldandlively]

I will criticize as I feel you need to make a commitment to your wife. Since you married and still craving sex i highly recommend a divorce and then find a new wife. Adultery always ends up really fuck up your life. I know because I did the same thing and now I am alone. God needs to be at the center of this to make the best decisions. I pray you stick with your wife and work things out. Today, after all my years of loneliness I only crave my wife and I can't wait to talk with her again to show her how much I've changed. I can tell you I wish I never did all those things. today I remain committed to my wife. I pray you can make things work.

I've seen relationships from their early teens into the 60s going through rough spots. Mine was in such rough spots as well for a good 7 years. Yours beat mine hand over fist. I had to worked on mine like a madman since the start for 7 straight years. Some of our acquaintances, friends, and family members were and still are in these gray zones. They are not officially divorced, nor they are "legally separated". The reason why we can't comment on this is because they are "separated" in their hearts, but not under man's laws. Under the Bible, it's better to be separated legally and pursue new love than to not separate and cause sins under such actions. Under man's laws, things get ugly and dicey during official divorces and legally separated. A gray zone of cooling period to explorer, when agreed by both parties, is encouraged by the legal arena before pursuant of legal divorce and separation.

However, we need to acknowledge that no one has not sin beside Lord Jesus and an exponential rare few forefathers. I sin practically every day, be of from my uholy thoughts or by my actions of laziness. This is why the grace of God provide the way out once we recognize our sins and are willing to wash it away. I'll just leave it there.

 

[DLD]

I completely follow Christ. I depend on the Holy Spirit as my guide in all things. But I would never go for another woman as I love my wife and I know with God wills this. Everyone can think for themselves and the consequences that arrive. Yes I sin everyday just like everyone. But the difference is I improve because of those sins. I know once saved always saved. And when we are saved the Holy Spirit will be there to help me improve. So live your life as you wish but really think about the consequences of those deeds.

 

[oldandlively]

I completely follow Christ. I depend on the Holy Spirit as my guide in all things. But I would never go for another woman as I love my wife and I know with God wills this. Everyone can think for themselves and the consequences that arrive. Yes I sin everyday just like everyone. But the difference is I improve because of those sins. I know once saved always saved. And when we are saved the Holy Spirit will be there to help me improve. So live your life as you wish but really think about the consequences of those deeds.

Amen to that. Just make sure to minimize and clense from sins before the day of rapture. It's pretty close at hand with all the signs that are going on around the world.

 

[DLD]

Amen to that. Just make sure to minimize and clense from sins before the day of rapture. It's pretty close at hand with all the signs that are going on around the world.

Indeed it is! I beg every brother to repent and put their faith in Christ. It is so easy to do and what you receive is amazing. All of our sins were paid for at the cross so everyone has the opportunity to accept this and simply repent. I never ask forgiveness when I pray because God already forgave those sins. I simply pray for more strength to avoid those sins. Again if you are saved "God has forgotten our sins as far as east to the west." Christians do not need to worry about anything again God says "He remembers our sins no more"

So if you want Heaven and eternal life simply follow these simple instructions

1. Ask to receive Christ
2. Repent for your sins once
3. Then you will receive the Holy Spirit and become sealed forever.

That's it and you will receive the blessings of Christ.

If anyone is looking for more information simply reach out to me.

 

[Haursen]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been following this discussion and wanted to offer some thoughts on why I believe that the traditional, monogamous model of marriage remains a strong and lasting foundation—both from a biblical perspective and when we look at history, law, and even psychology.

God’s Original Design

Right from the start, the Bible tells us that marriage was meant to be a union between one man and one woman. In Genesis 2:24 we read, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Jesus himself reaffirmed this when he said in Matthew 19:4–6 that marriage is about two becoming one. Even though some biblical figures like David and Solomon had multiple wives, their stories are filled with conflict, jealousy, and eventual downfall—not examples of ideal relationships. In fact, the problems they faced serve as a warning rather than an endorsement of polyamory or polygamy.

Lessons from History and Society

Looking back at history, most cultures have structured family life around a one-on-one partnership. This approach helped create clear responsibilities, secure family ties, and even smoother legal processes when it comes to things like inheritance, child custody, and financial arrangements. Modern legal systems, too, are built around this two-person model. Courts have repeatedly shown that when families involve more than two adults, it often leads to disputes and confusion—something that isn’t just theoretical but seen in real-life cases.

Emotional and Psychological Considerations

On a personal level, many studies indicate that monogamous relationships tend to foster deeper trust and emotional stability. When two people focus on each other, there’s generally less room for the kinds of jealousy and emotional strain that can occur when attention is divided among multiple partners. While some suggest that clear communication can manage these issues in polyamorous relationships, the research shows that the inherent complexity often results in increased stress and conflict over time.

Putting It All Together

I really respect that people are exploring what works best for them in love and relationships. But when we take a step back and consider biblical teachings, historical practices, legal realities, and the emotional health of individuals, the evidence strongly supports the idea that monogamous marriage is the most stable and fulfilling model. It’s a design that’s been time-tested and continues to provide a secure foundation for families and society as a whole.

I hope these reflections give everyone something to consider, and I’d love to hear your thoughts as we continue this conversation in a respectful and thoughtful way.

 

[DLD]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been following this discussion and wanted to offer some thoughts on why I believe that the traditional, monogamous model of marriage remains a strong and lasting foundation—both from a biblical perspective and when we look at history, law, and even psychology.

God’s Original Design

Right from the start, the Bible tells us that marriage was meant to be a union between one man and one woman. In Genesis 2:24 we read, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Jesus himself reaffirmed this when he said in Matthew 19:4–6 that marriage is about two becoming one. Even though some biblical figures like David and Solomon had multiple wives, their stories are filled with conflict, jealousy, and eventual downfall—not examples of ideal relationships. In fact, the problems they faced serve as a warning rather than an endorsement of polyamory or polygamy.

Lessons from History and Society

Looking back at history, most cultures have structured family life around a one-on-one partnership. This approach helped create clear responsibilities, secure family ties, and even smoother legal processes when it comes to things like inheritance, child custody, and financial arrangements. Modern legal systems, too, are built around this two-person model. Courts have repeatedly shown that when families involve more than two adults, it often leads to disputes and confusion—something that isn’t just theoretical but seen in real-life cases.

Emotional and Psychological Considerations

On a personal level, many studies indicate that monogamous relationships tend to foster deeper trust and emotional stability. When two people focus on each other, there’s generally less room for the kinds of jealousy and emotional strain that can occur when attention is divided among multiple partners. While some suggest that clear communication can manage these issues in polyamorous relationships, the research shows that the inherent complexity often results in increased stress and conflict over time.

Putting It All Together

I really respect that people are exploring what works best for them in love and relationships. But when we take a step back and consider biblical teachings, historical practices, legal realities, and the emotional health of individuals, the evidence strongly supports the idea that monogamous marriage is the most stable and fulfilling model. It’s a design that’s been time-tested and continues to provide a secure foundation for families and society as a whole.

I hope these reflections give everyone something to consider, and I’d love to hear your thoughts as we continue this conversation in a respectful and thoughtful way.

Amen!

 

[Shion]

I can't comment on anything from a religious perspective as I am not religious. I try to learn about how people practice though even people from the same religions I have found practice vastly differently, as we do Life.

Everyone has a different idea of how to practice marriage as well; the power of matrimony is that it's what you make of it. In our marriage we value autonomy and independence. So we have friends that aren't friends with the entire couple. Sometimes we have sex with others, sometimes we love others. However, we practice strict discipline. If one of us does something that upsets the other we back off, and we talk when things are shaky. We also make absolute certain to make generous time to spend around each other. I see my girlfriend just once or twice a week, and not always for the entire day, but the rest of the time I must be there for my wife.

Some other people practice Poly in less than stellar ways. Some people practice it wrong. I wish there were more scrutiny in the Poly community, oftentimes couples ignore the imbalance or they don't set enough boundaries. It's something that should be talked over and thought about and agreed upon, slowly adopted, testing the waters, strong communication. Most couples don't have the bond required to do it right. But we've been doing well.

 

[oldandlively]

I've attended a sermon yesterday, and the facts simply refreshed the perspective on various religions on many different levels. I'll just focus mainly on Christianity.

In the past five years, over 30 millions Christians simply walked away from their faith and announced their divergent to something else, such as atheism, naturalism, agonostism, scientology, wickednessism, and the list goes on. The change in religion is not out of disbelieving in the Holy God that created the universe and loving His children at the ultimate sacrifice, but it's because those who know He exist but the path they must take to remain in His grace and His set conditions to be saved is too "personnally restrictive". So, the believers left to other less restrictive religions, or rather no religion, to enjoy their lives the way they want.

This is why I said that I cannot comment on this matter. From one Christian brother to the next, I can definitely rebuke and wholehearted preach about the sins that He hated and His expection of us. But we have many brothers with different walks of life in this community that practice various religions. I will not overstep my bound to lecture and preach, but rather, to simply point out the probability, possibility, and the various results and nothing more. I have many friends and families who are Christians and practice many various sinful behaviors in other religions, or no religion, suffered, and repented. A majority still have not.

But the ultimate end is every person's accountability at the end of each life's journey. I can only do my best to be a guiding post, do what I'm directed to do, and pass along the awe-spiring blessings that were shared with me. I will hold my accountability before my Creator, be of the massive baskets of the bads and the tiny little basket of goods. So brothers, don't be too critical. Don't revere or be reverence of the sinful actions in life, but don't allow the hate of sins to control you and push the brothers away to calmly talk about the various results that may bring problems into their lives. That's what this community is for. To talk things about and share our concerns, find solutions, and share our experiences.

 

[DLD]

I've attended a sermon yesterday, and the facts simply refreshed the perspective on various religions on many different levels. I'll just focus mainly on Christianity.

In the past five years, over 30 millions Christians simply walked away from their faith and announced their divergent to something else, such as atheism, naturalism, agonostism, scientology, wickednessism, and the list goes on. The change in religion is not out of disbelieving in the Holy God that created the universe and loving His children at the ultimate sacrifice, but it's because those who know He exist but the path they must take to remain in His grace and His set conditions to be saved is too "personnally restrictive". So, the believers left to other less restrictive religions, or rather no religion, to enjoy their lives the way they want.

This is why I said that I cannot comment on this matter. From one Christian brother to the next, I can definitely rebuke and wholehearted preach about the sins that He hated and His expection of us. But we have many brothers with different walks of life in this community that practice various religions. I will not overstep my bound to lecture and preach, but rather, to simply point out the probability, possibility, and the various results and nothing more. I have many friends and families who are Christians and practice many various sinful behaviors in other religions, or no religion, suffered, and repented. A majority still have not.

But the ultimate end is every person's accountability at the end of each life's journey. I can only do my best to be a guiding post, do what I'm directed to do, and pass along the awe-spiring blessings that were shared with me. I will hold my accountability before my Creator, be of the massive baskets of the bads and the tiny little basket of goods. So brothers, don't be too critical. Don't revere or be reverence of the sinful actions in life, but don't allow the hate of sins to control you and push the brothers away to calmly talk about the various results that may bring problems into their lives. That's what this community is for. To talk things about and share our concerns, find solutions, and share our experiences.

Such a good post and I also attended that sermon and it was great. I am a New Covenant Christian meaning the Bible is my main source of information. too many churches, particularly the Catholic church, put so much emphasis on sinning and traditions that they are not worshipping Jesus but putting to much faith into these twisted scriptures and work. Jesus tells us that "it's by faith alone to gain salvation not work so no man can boast" plus what truly scares me is they pray to dead people which the Bible warns against this. Why pray to a saint when they can't hear you because they are dead. With this said why not simply pray to Jesus. Beyond this many churches are doing similar things. Find a New Covenant church and learn the true scriptures.

 

[DLD]

Mathew 19 6: "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.