Question That Needs Some Answers

[KiTTie8695]

alright. I have a question. I was um, "taken advantage of" in a past relationship. It was really about like 3 years ago, but I still get flashbacks about it. I know it won't ruin anything that me and zack have between ourselves in our relationship, but what can I do to deal with this better? any suggestions or anything?

i cry about it sometimes when i think about it. in front of zack or when i'm by myself. i never really told a lot of people about it. maybe like 5 of my best friends and thats it. <

-Sam

 

[KiTTie8695]

oh yeah and i juss moved here from that other site, cheeky cherry. needless to say, they're NOT very nice to me. so i decided to get the hell outta there

 

[millionman]

Hey kittie, You're samzman's sam aren't you???

 

[KiTTie8695]

yeah, i am

 

[Adolf Hilter]

First of all are male or female?

When you taken advantage of, do you mean that some fellow stuck his dick into you?

Or was you raped?

Did you know the fellow?

 

[KiTTie8695]

First off, I'm a girl. I'm samzman's girlfriend.

second off, i didn't feel like typing down rape because it kills me whenever i see it or hear the fucking word. i'm an emotional kind of person. so i get upset easily sometimes.

 

[Texan]

First of all are male or female?

When you taken advantage of, do you mean that some fellow stuck his dick into you?

Or was you raped?

Did you know the fellow?

Eloquently put, Adolf.

 

[KiTTie8695]

i'm sorry if i didnt write that clearly enough. im juss having a bad day.

 

[Adolf Hilter]

I think that you should do a "Bobbat" on him, You know the wife who cut off her husbands dick. No girl or women should have to put up with being Raped by any man. If this Sicko who did the bad deed is someone you know, then you owe it to your self to report him to the Police. If you do not know this sicko, try to find out where he lives or works, by asking your friends questions. Then if you do find out, who he is and lets say he is married make sure that his wife knows what he is doing. If he is not married, then hire some big guy's to give him the once over. Sorry to hear that you have had such a bad experience.

 

[Texan]

Kittie, I wish I could help, but I'm afraid unless a person has been in your shoes they can't understand very well. I know that's got to be hard. If you just need to get stuff out though, if that will help, by all means, please do... I'll listen (read) and comment if you like... Best-

 

[KiTTie8695]

I think that you should do a "Bobbat" on him, You know the wife who cut off her husbands dick. No girl or women should have to put up with being Raped by any man. If this Sicko who did the bad deed is someone you know, then you owe it to your self to report him to the Police. If you do not know this sicko, try to find out where he lives or works, by asking your friends questions. Then if you do find out, who he is and lets say he is married make sure that his wife knows what he is doing. If he is not married, then hire some big guy's to give him the once over. Sorry to hear that you have had such a bad experience.

lol yeah. i dunno about the whole chopping off his dick thing. ill leave zack up to that. . the problem is is that i didnt wanna tell anyone because i was still in highschool and he was aboyfriend of mine. and he knew ALOT of my friends and i didn't want it spreading around school if i told anyone about it. nothing was really ever confidential in my school anyways, so i didnt tell anyone anything that much. but thanks

 

[KiTTie8695]

thanx texan :-D

 

[kong1971]

I have also been "taken advantage of", Kittie. Alot of people can't wrap their mind around the thought of a man being raped, but it does happen. Or maybe molested would be a better word for it, because I was pretty young. It happened several times. I am not talking about the babysitter incident either. I am pretty uncomfortable talking about it in detail, but it was an older male, and his wife was involved at one point, also. I think the hardest thing to get over is the guilt that lingers, even years after something like that happens. You think, "Maybe I could have done something to avoid it. Maybe I could have fought back." There is also guilt at the sexual excitement and pleasure you might have experienced, even if you did not willingly participate in the act. There are only two things I can suggest to you that may help:

1) Forgive your aggressor. In all likelihood, this person has psychological problems. In all likelihood, he did not mean to hurt you, but instead lost control of his sexual urges. You can be angry, resentful and disgusted by this person, but you have to forgive him for his failings.

2) Forgive yourself. Even if you blame yourself for not fighting back, or saying no. Even if you enjoyed the act in some small part. You are a human being and there is a limit to what we can control in our lives.

 

[millionman]

You said it Kong.... Kittie I have had a few of my friends have something like this happen to them, and some have had trouble dealing with it, but most seemed after a time to let it receede. As Kong wrote to forgive, I agree with him, and to say that you did not bring it upon yousrself is a big part of it as well. There's truly no use in trying to change anything, the apostle Paul wrote, o not look to the past for answers but to look longingly and lovingly forward". Within context he is speaking of looking towards Jesus. In my own experiences especially in relationships it is easier to forgive the person and to continue on. You and Zach seem to have a great relationship, and I know he cares deeply for you and would never wish or cause any harm to you. Whenever you have a moment when you get upset or this starts to bother you, cuddle up with him, get yourself in a loving person's arms. A hug from my mom can make a bad day a better day, I'm a touchy feely person....I hope this helps.

 

[millionman]

there's a smiley face in my post that's suppose to be a d....strange....that's really random....

 

[KiTTie8695]

I am not a believer in the ROP, so I can't say I've tried it.

 

[millionman]

Well, there are a few of us good guys still around....As long as Kong is having a good day...Just kiddin bro....Things have been strange here lately....Can't really explain but there's been a weird vibe that kind of lingered....seems to be gettin better....and I have to apologize for that other thread, some of those guys were being buttheads, especially considering the fact that you are obviously female....I mean kittie...reallly....dude....not hardly....But have fun and I'm glad we were able to help even in a small way....Blessed are those who call upon the name of the Lord. AHydromaxen....

 

[JJcali]

I personally think you should try and have him charged or let it be heard. As Kong and some others may have said its usually a physcological problem and a re-occuring thing. Just as an alcoholic may have his mindset on the next drink a person liek this could be thinking of his next victim. If you could try and expose him you might be helping other women you've never met. This is always really, really hard though and you may not want to deal with the conflict that can come with it. Look at the catholic church, boys were being raped by the hudreds until few came forward giving the strength to men across teh county. I know girls who that has happened to and they never want to bring it up at any cost. Even if you don't want to turn him in i think you should confront the issue and talk to someone about it. Unless you confront things like this head on it will stay buried inside forever. Good look and sorry you had to go through it.

 

[Adolf Hilter]

I am not a violent man but I do take personnel and family problems very seriously. I am afraid that if that had happened to my daughter, raped by some School friend. This guy would have been carrying a handbag the rest of his life. I would have castrated him. I do not believe in forgive and forget. My attitude is do onto them as do onto you.

 

[kong1971]

That is a tempting sentiment, adolf, and one that many people share, but the thing is, if you do not forgive and forget, the negativity just becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. It never ends. Forgiveness stops the cycle and allows the healing to begin.

 

[kong1971]

Well, there are a few of us good guys still around....As long as Kong is having a good day...Just kiddin bro...

You've upset Mr. Bigglesworth! You know what happens when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset!

 

[KiTTie8695]

Well, there are a few of us good guys still around....As long as Kong is having a good day...Just kiddin bro....Things have been strange here lately....Can't really explain but there's been a weird vibe that kind of lingered....seems to be gettin better....and I have to apologize for that other thread, some of those guys were being buttheads, especially considering the fact that you are obviously female....I mean kittie...reallly....dude....not hardly....But have fun and I'm glad we were able to help even in a small way....Blessed are those who call upon the name of the Lord. AHydromaxen....

 

[penguinsfan]

I am not a violent man but I do take personnel and family problems very seriously. I am afraid that if that had happened to my daughter, raped by some School friend. This guy would have been carrying a handbag the rest of his life. I would have castrated him. I do not believe in forgive and forget. My attitude is do onto them as do onto you.

I personally live by: Head for an eye, jaw for a tooth. Eye for an eye doesn't give me enough satisfaction.

For Kittie's situation, I think Kong and millionman have given you the best advice I could offer. By my very nature, I am a bitter, angry, and hateful man, outside of my circle of friends. If you can bear to live differently, do it! I can't imagine what you went through. It's easy for me to feel nothing but vengance for such issues, but I've never experienced something with such psychological aftermath.

 

[KiTTie8695]

yeah i can understand that. i think that they gave me the best advice as well as u thought so thanks to everyone else though. i appreciate it!

 

[bsrraman]

I am interested in sex, but donnot know how to express and get new friends, also I dont know how to get new adult websites. Help me plo.

 

[KiTTie8695]

go on a search engine (like on yahoo, msn, google, etc) and type in "adult entertainment" or "penis" or "sex" or something related to sex. im sure you'll find something as soon as the enter key is hit

 

[Adolf Hilter]

That is a tempting sentiment, adolf, and one that many people share, but the thing is, if you do not forgive and forget, the negativity just becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. It never ends. Forgiveness stops the cycle and allows the healing to begin.

Actually Kong, If I had Castrated the bastard, and saw him in town, I would have to ask him if he raped any body lately, Or asked him if he could get an erection, and smile contemptuously. I would know that he would not rape anyone else. I think that the law is to soft with rapist. Any man accused and convicted of raping should be automatically castrated, and made to eat his own knackers in public on TV. Raw of course. Can you think of a better deterrent to future rapist?

 

[kong1971]

Ummm...yeah. Cause then they would murder their victims so that they would have less chance of being prosecuted. Violence only begets more violence. I'm glad you don't control the law, cause the man who molested me might have killed me to avoid such a severe penalty!

 

[samzman]

i don't know when this was posted up by my sam and i'm glad i found it. thanks for the support you showed on this sensitive topic. it's good to know that she has some more people to turn to if she ever had to. i personally knew about this shit for a while and seen what she has to go through. ur suggestions were very thoughtful and i'm glad she has the "big brother" types on here who are ready to jump the bastard. it's all a fine mix of guys on here.

and by the way. sam is a very strong person, very sensitive too and i hate it when she cries. she did cry a lot over what happened. i will support her as much as much as i can and i want her to feel better, healthier and happier. however i'm not the passifist type of guy. i speak my mind when i must and i do what i must. if i ever see this kid again (he's only 19 by now), i probably will punch him and not stop until i couldn't feel my hand anymore. i'm actually AFRAID to meet the kid, not because i think he can take me, but because i know what i can do to him.

again thanks for bein there for my girl u all have my greatest respect

 

[penguinsfan]

Well, you're both part of the family here.

 

[KiTTie8695]

thanks

 

[samzman]

i feel all warm and fuffy

 

[squirt_inducer_man]

alright. I have a question. I was um, "taken advantage of" in a past relationship. It was really about like 3 years ago, but I still get flashbacks about it. I know it won't ruin anything that me and zack have between ourselves in our relationship, but what can I do to deal with this better? any suggestions or anything?

i cry about it sometimes when i think about it. in front of zack or when i'm by myself. i never really told a lot of people about it. maybe like 5 of my best friends and thats it. <

-Sam

I hope you have been able to deal with this now, or at least put some perspective to it, and in that way learn from it and move on.
If it was trauma it's important to process it in the proper way. Otherwise it can linger with us, and impact our life in a negative way.

I know the feeling. This can happen if we are to kind and over help people to much...some people will then develop a co-dependent relationship with you, where they always wants help from you. When tings go wrong you are to blame.
It's the paradox of saving someone from drowning.
(Reference from: Jordan Peterson)

It's hard to walk away from people, but sometimes you have to. Their decisions and their life...you can't control other people. Life is hard sometimes...