I have a problem...

[peruano99]

I am currently with the best girl I could possibly have...she is beautiful, kicking body, and we have everything in common...but a really smoking blonde girl is flirting with me every day at my classes and already told me she likes me ...what to do?

 

[Medicating]

Sounds like the new girl is just hot. Your girl sounds like she has a bit more to her.

 

[peruano99]

So which one to pick then?

 

[DLD]

What would you want your girlfriend to do if she was in a similar position?


Do that.

 

[Tahir Aqbar]

You've already made up your mind. Don't get stupid and get caught.

 

[DLD]

Wait about 10 minutes before you need to make this decision. Go into the bathroom and rub one out. Now, make the choice. That always works.

 

[Super]

I am currently with the best girl I could possibly have...she is beautiful, kicking body, and we have everything in common...but a really smoking blonde girl is flirting with me every day at my classes and already told me she likes me ...what to do?

Dont cheat on your girl, blondes are dime a dozen and a new one is passing by every 15 minutes, sounds like you have the real dea.

 

[cg1]

Dont cheat on your girl, blondes are dime a dozen and a new one is passing by every 15 minutes, sounds like you have the real dea.

Do you love your girlfriend? Will you be able to sleep at night knowing that you cheated on her? Those are the questions you should be asking yourself.

If you wouldn't feel guilty about cheating, then go for it.

 

[cg1]

Dont cheat on your girl, blondes are dime a dozen and a new one is passing by every 15 minutes, sounds like you have the real dea.

Do you love your girlfriend? Will you be able to sleep at night knowing that you cheated on her? Those are the questions you should be asking yourself.

If you wouldn't feel guilty about cheating, then go for it.

 

[Papi Champagne]

Personally I would say fuck them both (at the same damn time)
But then again I have no morals.

 

[TreasureHunter]

I am currently with the best girl I could possibly have...she is beautiful, kicking body, and we have everything in common...but a really smoking blonde girl is flirting with me every day at my classes and already told me she likes me ...what to do?

Sounds like you only care about yourself. This isn't a hard question. "Am I a loyal person or am I a selfish person?"

You've already made up your mind, otherwise you'd be bragging that a girl is flirting with you but you turned her down because you love your (soon to be ex) girlfriend.


This is how your girl will see the situation:

"I totally trust my boyfriend, he wouldn't do anything behind my back. I feel safe with him. Although lately he's been acting weird... hey, boyfriend, why are you acting so strange?"

Paranoia will set in. You're going to make her feel like she's crazy and a jerk for not trusting you, when your intentions are not in her best interests. Then when she's had enough, she'll break down. You'll blame her for everything, making her feel even worse.

Meanwhile blonde girl ends up being a short fling and ends up with some other guy. You've lost both blonde girl and the girlfriend that you claim is the best girl to happen to you, who cares about you. You're on your own because you wanted to talk about it with strangers on the internet instead of the girl who trusts you. Although she's probably not gonna be happy that you have your eyes set on someone else.

Next thing you know you two break up, you mope about it while longing for both her and the blonde girl, she punches you in the face when you try to win her back, you end up winning her back and getting her pregnant. But then she decides she doesn't know you anymore and dumps you on your birthday while telling you she's getting an abortion.

Happened to a friend of mine! Told him not to stick his dick near the other girl but he just wouldn't listen. "She's the best thing to ever happen to me, we're so strong we'll get through this!"

 

[peruano99]

Yeah I am not going to cheat on her...thanks for the advice.

 

[Papi Champagne]

Yeah I am not going to cheat on her...thanks for the advice.

Now destroy all evidence linking you back to this thread.

 

[DLD]

Good choice, it shows commitment, loyalty and trust! These are the traits of a member of the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] Brotherhood.

 

[walkingmoon]

Situations like that are quite simple. You need to make a decision like that BEFORE you even go into a relationship. You want to fuck every girl you meet, make sure to get it straight that you are not looking for relationship, but sex only. Simple for you, simple for your girl. You can choose to be friends with benefits, you can choose to start a relationship, but make it open. There are different options. If you look for a love relationship though or an exclusive girl without love, it can be done too, but make it straight right from the beginning, so when situation like that happen you will know what to do and you won't need to lie about anything and feel guilty about anything.

If you are serious about this girl, you won't be considering messing with some other chick that might or might not like you.

If you are in a relationship with a girl just for the sake of it and just to get sex from her, than you are simply an asshole, wasting your own time and her time. A lot of men are in this kind of relationship, they become girlfriend/boyfriend just to get sex, telling girls they love them, but they don't feel anything and they cheat on them like it was nothing.

Cheating is pretty much for people who don't respect what they want. If you know what you want and you make a decision you don't need to cheat. Your decision can change in some time, sure. But, be honest to you and to people around you and you won't be doubting what is going around you as you just did. Being honest is making things simple and life is complicated enough already.

 

[DLD]

Now destroy all evidence linking you back to this thread.

Very important! Remember history files, facebook posts, private messages, any open door shut and lock!

Situations like that are quite simple. You need to make a decision like that BEFORE you even go into a relationship. You want to fuck every girl you meet, make sure to get it straight that you are not looking for relationship, but sex only. Simple for you, simple for your girl. You can choose to be friends with benefits, you can choose to start a relationship, but make it open. There are different options. If you look for a love relationship though or an exclusive girl without love, it can be done too, but make it straight right from the beginning, so when situation like that happen you will know what to do and you won't need to lie about anything and feel guilty about anything.

If you are serious about this girl, you won't be considering messing with some other chick that might or might not like you.

If you are in a relationship with a girl just for the sake of it and just to get sex from her, than you are simply an asshole, wasting your own time and her time. A lot of men are in this kind of relationship, they become girlfriend/boyfriend just to get sex, telling girls they love them, but they don't feel anything and they cheat on them like it was nothing.

Cheating is pretty much for people who don't respect what they want. If you know what you want and you make a decision you don't need to cheat. Your decision can change in some time, sure. But, be honest to you and to people around you and you won't be doubting what is going around you as you just did. Being honest is making things simple and life is complicated enough already.

Very nice post!

 

[huge-girth]

I am currently with the best girl I could possibly have...she is beautiful, kicking body, and we have everything in common...but a really smoking blonde girl is flirting with me every day at my classes and already told me she likes me ...what to do?

Sacrifice one for the other. It's a tough choice. If you try to play the cheating game and they both finds out, you stand to lose on both sides.

 

[squirt_inducer_man]

You should never be cheating.

 

[Jiko Kaizen]

You should never be cheating.

Why not ???

 

[DLD]

Why not ???

It destroys in it journey. You will end up alone. It is impossible to serve 2 masters

 

[Jiko Kaizen]

It destroys in it journey. You will end up alone. It is impossible to serve 2 masters

I appreciate your answer, but that question was directed @squirt_inducer_man for his view on the statement he made.

 

[DLD]

I appreciate your answer, but that question was directed @squirt_inducer_man for his view on the statement he made.

@squirt_inducer_man

 

[squirt_inducer_man]

@Jiko Kaizen, here is the answer you requested.

You should never be cheating.

Why not ???

My answer:
You will be destroyed from within. Let me explain further...
... I have never been anyone that have cheated anything in my life. Everything I have accomplished and done have been with hard work, pain and suffer (a lot of suffering), and I have always been true to myself and others. I have always told people the truth. I would not be able to cheat.

If we dig deeper in this concept...If you are not true to yourself, and we are honest with your experience of your reality this dishonesty will catch up to you in the future, and it will not be a fun experience.
To not be true to yourself and others will not be beneficial for you, If you need more then one woman, my question to you is: - What are you chasing? Is something you are trying to run from within yourself?

Some related situation that I'm dealing with right now.

Helping a person to much can be problematic...let me explain.

What I mean with this is that it can become a co-dependent relationship of it all, where the person asking for help, can't trust him or herself, to get themselves out of the situation. You are their lifeline so to speak.

Another problem that can happen, is that their problems become your personal problems, and you are to much invested in their problems and life, so much that you stagnate in your own progression, and development in life.

You feel trapped. Also it feels like you care more then them to fix the "problem". You try constantly to help...but it feels like they are not listening to you about what has to be done.
It feels like they are lacking responsibility for their life in a childish way (no judgment, it's really hard for them).

It's a hard situation for you, when you are emotionally invested in this person. You want them to be happy. They are good and beautiful people and (they have done so much for you in the past), and they deserve to be happy. But do you deserve to be drained and unhappy due to this situation? I believe NO. To many years have been wasted.

You want them to do well in life, and you are afraid if you pull away and stop helping (essentially blocking this person from your life), everything will go to shit for them (but their life is not your responsibility).

But after helping them for some years...nothing ever gets better. You have regrets about this. You have put to much time into them.

It's always a new problem behind the corner. This situation are stressful for you.

You also have regrets related to helping them to much previously, that really put them in a hard situation. If you hadn't helped them...everything would be better for them now.
It's a situation where you helped them with something (a major decision), and the next day they already had regrets what had happened. For example, ending a lease on an apartment digitally. If you hadn't helped, everything would have been better.

If you hadn't helped them, it had been better...because it had been harder for them to do this by themselves. And this person may had thought through about this decision more deeply, before making the final decision. You put the blame on yourself.

This all are wearing you down both mentally and physically. You have blocked people from your life before...but for some reason this is so much harder for you. You know what to do...it's just so hard to do.

Have anyone besides me dealt with a similar situation?

This is really hard. I have the solution layed out for me (a plan): Change number and never allow this person to keep using me in this way ever again...but why is this so hard?


Have anyone had a similar situation?
- How do you think about this to make it easier for you? The problem with this situation is that it's either good for me, or the person I'm helping.

It doesn't matter who this person is to me. I just want some support from the brotherhood, in this hard situation.

This is what I'm talking about.

It's an extremely hard situation.
Especially when this relationship have been going on for a long time.

Jordan Peterson are talking about the lifeguard rule. See the entire video to understand what I'm talking about on a deep level.

I know what to do...it's just so hard.

Take care. Don't judge me or ask about who this person are to me...if you do I will not respond.

I want to discuss the concept of helping a person to much, that is: The things I'm talking about in this post.

The problem in this situation for me above (see quote) is that I haven't been true to myself, and this created a co-dependent relationship with this person in question. Because it felt like someone in my life needed me, if they where not in my life I would be all alone. What I did was not helpful...because the more I helped this person, the more this person was dependent on me to fix their situation. But It got to the point where I could not help any longer. This was a hard realization (cried a bit) because I care much about this person. The regrets with helping to much in the beginning are really strong. But I can't change the past.

It was not just this...this situation was extremely stressful for me, I could not relax and focus on what I wanted from life. I lived with this persons problems daily (imagine if this was related to cheating? == it's not)...because I'm a kind person, and want to help people around me. But sometimes you can be to kind, so kind that you forget yourself in the process. You want to help...but to what prize, how many years are you suppose to help them? You feel stuck in life. I believe this situation above prevented me from finding a new woman (a new relationship and moving on), I felt trapped and could not live for myself fully. I had one foot out and one foot in in this relationship (there where no sex involved in this relationship).

This person was not doing this because the person wanted to be harmful to me. They where doing it, because they felt they had no choice but to ask for help (a crisis situation for them). But the longer I stayed put and kept this situation going...the harder everything would be. If you read the quote above you will get an insight what can happen if you help a person to much. Watch the video as well. This was really hard for me. ☹
But it's done now (relationship = ended). The person will never understand...this is the hardest part. The person is really a beautiful person that had a really tough life.

Imagine if this was related to cheating? You have a woman at home, but you are more invested with these women you are chasing outside of this relationship (with your wife/girlfriend). How can you ever be fully in with the relationship with your wife or girlfriend, when you have so many women in your life?

Maybe my situation above (in the quote) do not relate directly to what we are talking about here, with cheating. But for me it's highly related. Cheating can also be to not be able to let go of people who are not suppose to be in your life (any longer). You are to much emotionally invested in the wrong people, and this can destroy your current relationship with your wife/girlfriend. To be to much emotionally invested can also happen if you are starting to date a woman. We need to put our emotions towards the right people in out life.

If you cheat...how are you handling your emotions? Are you thinking about your wife/girlfriend when you have sex with the other women?
- This is an genuine question because I have not been cheating (ever).

This is only a thought experiment:
Let us say that you have a woman at home, a girlfriend or wife. And you meet another woman at the gym. This woman is highly promiscuous and she's willing to have sex with you this same day (first time you meet her).
- What does this do to your relationship with your wife/girlfriend?

This is the case:
The more women you have sex with at the same time, the less value women in your life will have for you. You will start to loose your sense of confidence (your EGO will take over)...because you cheat every woman in your life. In the moment you feel good about it, because your EGO gets a boost every time you have sex with a new woman. But in the long run this behavior will destroy you from the inside. You do not care about all these woman's emotions or how they feel about this behavior of yours. You are only thinking about yourself.

We continue on this thought experiment...Let us say that you find another woman as well. You now have 3 different women that you have sex with on a regular basis (your girlfriend is still at home and cooking food for you). You go behind their backs, everyone of them. They do not know about each other...you now have to start lying to each and every one of them, in order to not revel what you are doing. You are a SIMP/a weak man! (no judgment, just stating facts).

If the women would know about each other, it would be a different situation, then you would be 100% true to yourself and others.
But in this situation you are not. When you start cheating yourself and others around you...it's a downward spiral. Will you start to cheat others as well (not just women)? Your sense of moral judgment gets washed out, you start to loose yourself. Who are you?


This is a picture of the downward spiral that can
start to happen, when you cheat in your life (cheating others and yourself).


- Do you think this behavior and this type of situation will be good for you (situation above)? You will start lying to yourself and others around you? What happens if you are talking in your sleep, and are mentioning these women's names in your sleep? Sooner or later everything will end...as @DLD said...you will be alone.

It destroys in it journey. You will end up alone. It is impossible to serve 2 masters

Maybe not physically (just get new women?)...but you will be alone emotionally. A woman have lost her value to you. For you a woman is now an object just to put your dick inside...you treat them like crap...after you are done with her you discard her?...you go to the next one?... and this circle will continue.

Again: What are you looking for, if you feel the need to cheat with your woman?
If you are not content with your relationship, you should end it before looking for someone new. You need to be emotional invested with people around you, otherwise what is the point with meaningless sex?
How do you control STD's? Because you will for sure get one sooner or later, even if you wear protection.

* This was my thoughts about this concept of: Cheating.
* Keep in mind that the text above I wrote is only some speculations and theories about what can happen, it's purpose is not to judge anyone.
Just my thoughts on the subject.

Kind regards.

 

[Jiko Kaizen]

@squirt_inducer_man - I love Jordan Peterson way of thinking. I learn something new every time I listen to him

Thanks for your elaborate therapeutic answer...in all fairest I did request your individual answer, I just didn't expect it be so clincial.

After reading your short Mental Health Medical Journal and your Life experience. People have numerous excuses for cheating on another person(s), emotionally or physically. They are chasing some emotional fulfillment that person can't give them and usually from an unaware paradigm they have mentally embedded since childhood. What you are describing is behavior influenced by outside forces due to one's self-image, and one's self-belief system and everntually made their own life unmanagable, putting everyone's else's needs over their own.

Best to you on your Co-Dependency Recovery

 

[squirt_inducer_man]

@squirt_inducer_man - I love Jordan Peterson way of thinking. I learn something new every time I listen to him

Thanks for your elaborate therapeutic answer...in all fairest I did request your individual answer, I just didn't expect it be so clincial.

After reading your short Mental Health Medical Journal and your Life experience. People have numerous excuses for cheating on another person(s), emotionally or physically. They are chasing some emotional fulfillment that person can't give them and usually from an unaware paradigm they have mentally embedded since childhood. What you are describing is behavior influenced by outside forces due to one's self-image, and one's self-belief system and everntually made their own life unmanagable, putting everyone's else's needs over their own.

Best to you on your Co-Dependency Recovery

I go deep into the rabbit hole.... that's what I do.


I have a hard time just leaving people when they need help...I need to help them get back up...after that I will pull away from them. I'm to kind, but I need to be that right now.

Thank you for your answer, I really appreciate that.
Take care of yourself.

 

[squirt_inducer_man]

@squirt_inducer_man - I love Jordan Peterson way of thinking. I learn something new every time I listen to him

Same here. You always learn from that man. But not always I understand everything he's saying immediately.