I cant reach orgasm

[DoctorBiggie]

Few moths ago i was scared about why i didnt get an erection when i had my first sex.
Now... I have another problem.
Sex with my girlfriend lasts about 1 hour And more (few months i was still virgin).
i tried with condom, without condom, faster, slower and i don't know what it's the problem. And every time i ejaculate when i start masturbating at the end of sex.
when i have sex, i feel that my pelvic floor muscles are so contacted and maybe there is the problem.
any help please??

 

[longstretch]

Do you watch a lot of adult entertainment and/or masturbate a lot. That should be the first 2 things to go.

 

[DoctorBiggie]

Oh no... adult entertainment in last year very rare and in last 3 months nothing.
About masturbating, i can say yes. Almost every day (i used masturbating as warm-up for PE workout).

 

[Avglen61]

Orgasm comes when there is enough or more than enough arousal.....

Are you being aroused properly?
Have you been doing any substance abuse?
What about liquor or smoking?

Gonna need more information about you to help you.....

 

[Brawn Johnson]

when i have sex, i feel that my pelvic floor muscles are so contacted and maybe there is the problem.

You should certainly try to relax that as a general rule, but that's not going to be your main issue. It's more likely a symptom of your main issue.

Sex with my girlfriend lasts about 1 hour And more (few months i was still virgin).
i tried with condom, without condom, faster, slower and i don't know what it's the problem. And every time i ejaculate when i start masturbating at the end of sex.

About masturbating, i can say yes. Almost every day...

Emphasis added!

So we know that you CAN, in fact, reach orgasm. You do so on a daily basis, with poorer physical stimulation than you get during sex. That's an important distinction, because now we know the problem is not physiological. It's something going on in your head! I would venture to guess that you're experiencing some self-fulfilling anxiety about all of this, and/or conditioning from daily masturbation.

When you have sex, how much are you thinking about your performance, and how much are you just enjoying yourself? That ratio should be in the neighborhood of 0:100. I highly recommend putting on your reading glasses for this book here. I know your problem isn't premature ejaculation, but PE, ED, the inability to ejaculate, etc can be different symptoms of the same psychological problems.

 

[longstretch]

I'd limit your masturbation. It can desensitize you and rob you of some of the subtle feelings of a warm vagina. Also the more you orgasm the harder it is to orgasm and the longer it'll take. I ran into this same problem when I first started having sex. I'll second learning to relax and be in the moment as much as possible during sex as that'll help orgasm as well

 

[DoctorBiggie]

No smoking, addiction and alcohol and same stuff.

Yeah... Im not really relaxed. My brain always running in 100% (this is in my nature, not only during sex).
And yeah, i always think about my performance, my gf and to please her (and im lucky, every time she has at least one orgasm.. i can build up to 3).

More then one week im not masturbating just at the end of sex, to make myself ejaculate.

 

[Super]

Few moths ago i was scared about why i didnt get an erection when i had my first sex.
Now... I have another problem.
Sex with my girlfriend lasts about 1 hour And more (few months i was still virgin).
i tried with condom, without condom, faster, slower and i don't know what it's the problem. And every time i ejaculate when i start masturbating at the end of sex.
when i have sex, i feel that my pelvic floor muscles are so contacted and maybe there is the problem.
any help please??

Try foreskin restoration, that solved my problem with being unable to climax.

 

[TuffDong]

You should practice some meditation, and learn to relax your mind. It is worry that pangs. Don't you fret brother, she is more than enjoying you during intercourse. Orgasm is an extra plus, but doesn't determine if she is feeling pleasure during.

 

[MikeyM]

I was thinking about this ealier. High estrogen or low for that matter cause problems as well as prolactin. If nothing else get a cheap hormone panel done.

 

[Big Al]

First, you should eliminate any frivolous masturbation. Not only does this deplete libido, you may very well be negatively conditioning yourself.

During training, you should perform the "reverse" Stop and Starts to decrease your time to the PONR (Point Of No Return) and to decrease your sensory threshold (requiring less stimulation to ejaculate). The Reverse Stop and Starts is performed using an extremely light grip and attempt to ejaculate as quickly as possible. That should help to reset your sensory threshold. It won't take too many of these sessions to reset your sensory threshold.

 

[TuffDong]

Bony Throbbins is correct (Guru joke, hope doesn't fall FLAT). Definitely take his advice, as he has helped, and continues to help, men from all walks of life.

Blessings...

 

[Avglen61]

Think about what you are doing when you masturbate.....
That sensation is what giving you an orgasm. And then, try to incorporate that sensation in your sex life....

 

[DLD]

Cut back on your masturbation because doing this every day is going to affect you in certain ways that may be negative. Go 2 weeks without masturbation and see if things change.

 

[Getbiglonger7]

No smoking, addiction and alcohol and same stuff.

Yeah... Im not really relaxed. My brain always running in 100% (this is in my nature, not only during sex).
And yeah, i always think about my performance, my gf and to please her (and im lucky, every time she has at least one orgasm.. i can build up to 3).

More then one week im not masturbating just at the end of sex, to make myself ejaculate.

That sounds great gotta get a warm pussy myself too

 

[Brawn Johnson]

Yeah... Im not really relaxed. My brain always running in 100% (this is in my nature, not only during sex).
And yeah, i always think about my performance, my gf and to please her (and im lucky, every time she has at least one orgasm.. i can build up to 3).

That's what I figured. You know what isn't sexy at all? Being tested. How on earth do you expect yourself to climax to a friggin test?

Just have fun with your lady. You don't have to be a adult entertainment star for her. She'll enjoy it more if you're present with her anyway, and you can send her to the moon with your fingers and tongue if you have to.

 

[Big Al]

That's what I figured. You know what isn't sexy at all? Being tested. How on earth do you expect yourself to climax to a friggin test?

Just have fun with your lady. You don't have to be a adult entertainment star for her. She'll enjoy it more if you're present with her anyway, and you can send her to the moon with your fingers and tongue if you have to.

Agreed! The more one feels tested, the more the encounter becomes performance-based. Once a certain emotional balance has tipped, this is where performance anxiety can come in.

 

[REDZULU2003]

Yeah, guys need to get this adult entertainment way of looking at sex, indeed, even love making well out of the way.

It's not healthy, is completely false, nothing like real sexual life.

This is why to younger folk today growing up with easy instant adult entertainment online, have distorted, weird beliefs about sex, before they even have a sexual encounter.

More and more studies are suggesting that adult entertainment addiction is damaging to the viewers personality.

Personally, the Western world would be wise to censor most adult entertainment sites, as the world is too sexualized, often to the wrong ones, not to mention how disrespectful adult entertainment is to both genders, and all ethnicity

 

[TuffDong]

I will only be intimate if there is emotion. Just me. Just how I feel.

I was raised around some seriously depraved stuff, and adult entertainment was a normal thing for me, at 7 years old and up. I grew up extremely insecure, and it hindered my entire childhood. No more. There is so much more. She... you... that magical, intimate, emotional moment....

Blessings. ...

 

[DLD]

Yeah, guys need to get this adult entertainment way of looking at sex, indeed, even love making well out of the way.

It's not healthy, is completely false, nothing like real sexual life.

This is why to younger folk today growing up with easy instant adult entertainment online, have distorted, weird beliefs about sex, before they even have a sexual encounter.

More and more studies are suggesting that adult entertainment addiction is damaging to the viewers personality.

Personally, the Western world would be wise to censor most adult entertainment sites, as the world is too sexualized, often to the wrong ones, not to mention how disrespectful adult entertainment is to both genders, and all ethnicity

 

[Getbiglonger7]

Yeah, guys need to get this adult entertainment way of looking at sex, indeed, even love making well out of the way.

It's not healthy, is completely false, nothing like real sexual life.

This is why to younger folk today growing up with easy instant adult entertainment online, have distorted, weird beliefs about sex, before they even have a sexual encounter.

More and more studies are suggesting that adult entertainment addiction is damaging to the viewers personality.

I guess you're right,the world is way too sexualized

Personally, the Western world would be wise to censor most adult entertainment sites, as the world is too sexualized, often to the wrong ones, not to mention how disrespectful adult entertainment is to both genders, and all ethnicity

 

[Brawn Johnson]

Personally, the Western world would be wise to censor most adult entertainment sites, as the world is too sexualized, often to the wrong ones, not to mention how disrespectful adult entertainment is to both genders, and all ethnicity

For the record though, this is the only part of the post exempt from my 'like.' Whether I like the content or not, I'm not on board with censorship... and you Brits are sliding the wrong way on that issue. I'm getting worried for you across the pond!

 

[TuffDong]

You gotta agree with the disrespectful/degrading point......

Shit has just gotten waaaay too fucked up in adult entertainment.

 

[Brawn Johnson]

You gotta agree with the disrespectful/degrading point......

That would be a whole new conversation, and this thread is teetering on the edge of the rails here.

My only point right now is that the freedom to speak and express is not dependent on the nature of the speech or expression. And I only brought that up because I liked Zulu's post but wanted to go on record making it clear I don't support just that last bit.

 

[TuffDong]

 

[Big Al]

I will only be intimate if there is emotion. Just me. Just how I feel.

I was raised around some seriously depraved stuff, and adult entertainment was a normal thing for me, at 7 years old and up. I grew up extremely insecure, and it hindered my entire childhood. No more. There is so much more. She... you... that magical, intimate, emotional moment....

Blessings. ...

The best sex one can have is when they allow themselves to become unencumbered by negative emotions. Without encumbrances, emotional synching is possible. This is what "making love" is- as opposed to merely having sex.

 

[DLD]

Think of sex as a highway. When the highway has lots of traffic it makes it hard to keep EQ up. This is because the highway from the penis to the brain is jammed up with traffic of negative thoughts. When the highway is cleared and there’s a straight and direct route from the brain to the penis these issues the way.

 

[TuffDong]

Think of sex as a highway. When the highway has lots of traffic it makes it hard to keep EQ up. This is because the highway from the penis to the brain is jammed up with traffic of negative thoughts. When the highway is cleared and there’s a straight and direct route from the brain to the penis these issues the way.

Great analogy!!!

 

[DLD]

Thanks my Brother!

 

[huge-girth]

Few moths ago i was scared about why i didnt get an erection when i had my first sex.
Now... I have another problem.
Sex with my girlfriend lasts about 1 hour And more (few months i was still virgin).
i tried with condom, without condom, faster, slower and i don't know what it's the problem. And every time i ejaculate when i start masturbating at the end of sex.
when i have sex, i feel that my pelvic floor muscles are so contacted and maybe there is the problem.
any help please??

Could this be as a result of anxiety or panic @DLD?

 

[DLD]

Could this be as a result of anxiety or panic @DLD?

Definitely. I know my emotions can reak havoc on orgasms. Best to not get frustrated and relax and try again

 

[huge-girth]

Definitely. I know my emotions can reak havoc on orgasms. Best to not get frustrated and relax and try again

I agree. When I was heart broken back in 2017, I couldn't pump, I was ejaculating inside the bathmate within 1 minute into my session. Such a terrible experience.

 

[DLD]

I agree. When I was heart broken back in 2017, I couldn't pump, I was ejaculating inside the bathmate within 1 minute into my session. Such a terrible experience.

Suffering now stuck in this hotel room

 

[huge-girth]

Suffering now stuck in this hotel room

You should be thankful, so many are in prison.

 

[DLD]

You should be thankful, so many are in prison.

I am grateful I have a place to live I just miss my studio so much

 

[huge-girth]

I am grateful I have a place to live I just miss my studio so much

I understand.

 

[derekparle]

At one point in time I was having trouble getting myself to orgasam. I would almost get there and then never quite make it.

 

[DLD]

At one point in time I was having trouble getting myself to orgasam. I would almost get there and then never quite make it.

That's me right now