How do I get her back!?

K

kitfisto

0
Guys I am desperate. I fucked up. My relationship my with girlfriend of almost 2 years was too intense for me. I was depressed. I was afraid and I panicked. I told her I needed a break, one which I may not return from. I just needed space and when I got it it was heartbreaking but such a relief. We were going to meet up again a month later (today) just to tell each other how we felt and how to proceed. But she texted me a few days before hand pretty much officially ending the relationship saying I treated her bad and she doesn't love me anymore and to never contact her again.

I did not treat her as well as I should have by just taking the break but honestly there was nothing else for me to do. The relationship was crushing me. It had to be done.

When I got that text a couple of days ago it tore my heart out. It is right now in this moment that I realize what I have done and what I have lost. This girl loved me like nothing else. Part of the reason it was soooo intense and fast paced. We had an awesome relationship. It just wasn't balanced. She would talk about marriage which made me uncomfortable (i'm only 22) and I just didn't communicate my feelings about such things properly. I was a coward. during the break I had plenty of time to think about my feelings and why I did what I did, but I feel she never gave me the opportunity to even explain everything.

I am desperate. How am I going to get her back. She wants no contact and claims she doesn't love me, but I know deep down that there must be feelings there, hidden behind heartbreak and rage. Her parents even texted me saying that their daughter was very sure about her decision and for me not to contact her at all, ever.

To never contact her is not an option. I am not a stalker or a weirdo and her happiness is important here but I will have to contact her at some point. It is too important for me. Even if just to resolve things for good. She has blocked my from facebook and probably her phone. The chance of me bumping into her is too slim to consider. I plan on writing her a letter, probably no sooner than 6 months to a years time. What are your thoughts guys? I want her to understand everything from my point of view and to maybe be friends. This hurts so fucking much, and has probably hurt her even more. I honestly don't know what advice you can give me but I am desperate here. I have even prayed to god and I am an atheist, so go figure. This hurts so fucking much. I can't live my life without her. She's the best friend I have ever had.
 
The letter thing and timeframe makes most sense.

To tell you the truth, yes you fucked up:
Leaving her for a month on purpose is like leaving your woman in the dessert telling her you might come back. She cant trust you to care for her again cause her fear will be you will do similar again maybe even when she has to feed a child.
Well, thats whats going on with her on a basic evolutionary level.

So her womanly feelings noticed her of that and her thoughts correspondent to that feelings. So yes there might be love somewhere below that but to reach that you would have to reassure her on the feeling side and thought side that this wont happen again. Now its set in stone with even her family in the mix anchoring the decision.
There is a chance but it looks not good mate.

You should find a good end somewhere down the line and explaining yourself with some time inbetween might help.

When I was younger I didnt talk to my girl I loved very much for a week without notice as I just concentrated on an important test. Must have been horrific for her...and she couldnt do anything else then break up. Would be too bad for her fearing the same happens again.
Was hearbreaking feeling for me knowing I fucked up lol.
She still loved me and I did meet her years later but well... Nowadays I can fall in love several times daily :p

You should think what you can do in the future to be able to handle such a situation better. This is just down to inexperience and you will learn from it if you decide to. Dont turn this into a traumatic thing for you that influences your life in a bad way!
Instead choose to look forward. Maybe you two can laugh about it years down the line.

Go out and do something. Fuck some around or fall in love again ;) This is no dead end ;)
 
Well, if you are absolutely sure you want her back- then go and fight for her. Tell her how you feel! Stalk her, follow her, do whatever you want, but get her to listen to you. And do not dare giving up if she or her parents tell you to go away. If you do not- you will be sorry for A LOT of time, believe me. If she is worth fighting for, go and get her back. But just be SURE that's EXACTLY what you want! And do not wait any longer, waiting till she gets a new boyfriend or forgets you would not be a good idea I guess....
 
the letter is a good idea. love you will make us do stupid things. i've seen both guys and girls do stupid things and be annoying to the person they were trying to get back with even though the other person had moved on. i cant think of anyone who got back together and it worked out great. the letter is simple and will express how you are feeling. if she wants you back she wants you back after that. if not, you will both move on and eventually feel great
 
Seems like she doesnt want to see you anymore and thats something that is tormeting you,its ok if you let sometime go by,evenso dont spend your time thinking about her,because you will suffer just move on and see whats ahead for you:)
 
well take a break yourself ....so you can calm down and so can she and both of you can think with a calm mind about the real decision when you approach her later. But do make sure she is not hooking up with anyone else as there are many influential bastards out there.
 
If you did not want to be in the relationship before what has changed that you want it now? Is it because now that you can't have her you want her? I know for myself this is always the case when I break off a relationship, in the break I feel like i have total control but as time passes and she does not respond the way I like tables turn and the next thing I feel is that I can't live without her. In my opinion, you should reexamine the reasons you wanted the break up and be honest with yourself about what you are feeling now.
 
If she REALLY loved you, which I'm guessing she told you she did as she discussed marriage. She should have been at least willing to meet up with you and discuss the future. I'd just move on man, the sooner you find someone else the sooner you'll be happy. I agree with DLD, you clearly were very unhappy in the relationship, look at the reasons and do you really think It would be different now. Maybe you just miss the feeling of being loved and the attention. I'd just move on and find someone else.
 
Thanks guys I really appreciate your advice.


doublelongdaddy;628901 said:
If you did not want to be in the relationship before what has changed that you want it now? Is it because now that you can't have her you want her? I know for myself this is always the case when I break off a relationship, in the break I feel like i have total control but as time passes and she does not respond the way I like tables turn and the next thing I feel is that I can't live without her. In my opinion, you should reexamine the reasons you wanted the break up and be honest with yourself about what you are feeling now.
Click to expand...

I am slowly figuring out what I am feeling and why I did what I did. I felt smothered before, but now I do not. Just heartbroken and desperate. Maybe this is for the best or maybe If we somehow got back together again we would make it work. What I needed was space. Perhaps If instead of leaving her for a month, I only saw her once a week, things might have fallen into place or at least become clearer without fucking things up. I wish I had done that. That way, we still would be together but of course if we were never meant to be then we would probably break up eventually.

The connection we had was like nothing else. She has been the best friend I have ever had.

I will let some time pass. My feelings will be clearer then and if I do act then perhaps she will be in a better state too.
 
kitfisto;628998 said:
Thanks guys I really appreciate your advice.




I am slowly figuring out what I am feeling and why I did what I did. I felt smothered before, but now I do not. Just heartbroken and desperate. Maybe this is for the best or maybe If we somehow got back together again we would make it work. What I needed was space. Perhaps If instead of leaving her for a month, I only saw her once a week, things might have fallen into place or at least become clearer without fucking things up. I wish I had done that. That way, we still would be together but of course if we were never meant to be then we would probably break up eventually.

The connection we had was like nothing else. She has been the best friend I have ever had.

I will let some time pass. My feelings will be clearer then and if I do act then perhaps she will be in a better state too.
Click to expand...

Should have, could have, would have, all things we say when it is too late. I think your best bet is to use this time to get to love yourself more and work on the things you can to make yourself a better man. Looking good is always the best way to get through these things. If she loves you maybe what she need now is space too. I would not sit around waiting for her but in case she does return you want to be looking your best, feeling confident and in control. These are the things that she will find attractive. If you seem desperate in any way you will appear weak and she will not be responsive. Believe me, if she sees you doing great she will be more apt to return. But if this is the case make sure it is something you truly want and not just a way to pull yourself out of the dumps.
 
I think you're right. There is no knowing what will happen so It's time to become the best version of myself.
I'm looking forward to this next part of my life. :) Thanks.
 
doublelongdaddy;629064 said:
Should have, could have, would have, all things we say when it is too late. I think your best bet is to use this time to get to love yourself more and work on the things you can to make yourself a better man. Looking good is always the best way to get through these things. If she loves you maybe what she need now is space too. I would not sit around waiting for her but in case she does return you want to be looking your best, feeling confident and in control. These are the things that she will find attractive. If you seem desperate in any way you will appear weak and she will not be responsive. Believe me, if she sees you doing great she will be more apt to return. But if this is the case make sure it is something you truly want and not just a way to pull yourself out of the dumps.
Click to expand...

kitfisto;629135 said:
I think you're right. There is no knowing what will happen so It's time to become the best version of myself.
I'm looking forward to this next part of my life. :) Thanks.
Click to expand...

very good advice to take
 
Don't worry kitfisto when you get through this you'll be as happy and dancing for joy as this guy..............

[video=youtube;OZ4rdsbHrE4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ4rdsbHrE4[/video]
 
Haha thanks all.

Right now the worst has past. I've calmed down and am feeling relieved again. I guess I panicked a bit. It is still a tragedy and I still wish I could have explained certain things to her before she cut me off but everything is going to be fine. Time to get back on track, keep growing as a person (as well as my dick) and become the man I want to become. Also maybe plow me some more pussy.
 
kitfisto;629534 said:
Haha thanks all.

Right now the worst has past. I've calmed down and am feeling relieved again. I guess I panicked a bit. It is still a tragedy and I still wish I could have explained certain things to her before she cut me off but everything is going to be fine. Time to get back on track, keep growing as a person (as well as my dick) and become the man I want to become. Also maybe plow me some more pussy.
Click to expand...

A VERY powerful post! :)
 
kitfisto;629534 said:
Haha thanks all.

Right now the worst has past. I've calmed down and am feeling relieved again. I guess I panicked a bit. It is still a tragedy and I still wish I could have explained certain things to her before she cut me off but everything is going to be fine. Time to get back on track, keep growing as a person (as well as my dick) and become the man I want to become. Also maybe plow me some more pussy.
Click to expand...

Great outlook and keep improving yourself, when that right girl comes you will know it.
 
kitfisto;628681 said:
Guys I am desperate. I fucked up. My relationship my with girlfriend of almost 2 years was too intense for me. I was depressed. I was afraid and I panicked. I told her I needed a break, one which I may not return from. I just needed space and when I got it it was heartbreaking but such a relief. We were going to meet up again a month later (today) just to tell each other how we felt and how to proceed. But she texted me a few days before hand pretty much officially ending the relationship saying I treated her bad and she doesn't love me anymore and to never contact her again.

I did not treat her as well as I should have by just taking the break but honestly there was nothing else for me to do. The relationship was crushing me. It had to be done.

When I got that text a couple of days ago it tore my heart out. It is right now in this moment that I realize what I have done and what I have lost. This girl loved me like nothing else. Part of the reason it was soooo intense and fast paced. We had an awesome relationship. It just wasn't balanced. She would talk about marriage which made me uncomfortable (i'm only 22) and I just didn't communicate my feelings about such things properly. I was a coward. during the break I had plenty of time to think about my feelings and why I did what I did, but I feel she never gave me the opportunity to even explain everything.

I am desperate. How am I going to get her back. She wants no contact and claims she doesn't love me, but I know deep down that there must be feelings there, hidden behind heartbreak and rage. Her parents even texted me saying that their daughter was very sure about her decision and for me not to contact her at all, ever.

To never contact her is not an option. I am not a stalker or a weirdo and her happiness is important here but I will have to contact her at some point. It is too important for me. Even if just to resolve things for good. She has blocked my from facebook and probably her phone. The chance of me bumping into her is too slim to consider. I plan on writing her a letter, probably no sooner than 6 months to a years time. What are your thoughts guys? I want her to understand everything from my point of view and to maybe be friends. This hurts so fucking much, and has probably hurt her even more. I honestly don't know what advice you can give me but I am desperate here. I have even prayed to god and I am an atheist, so go figure. This hurts so fucking much. I can't live my life without her. She's the best friend I have ever had.
Click to expand...


Honestly, I've been here before. Relationships end for a good reason most of the time. The best thing to do in a situation like this is to leave her alone. If you really care about her happiness get your damn ego and emotions out of the way and leave her alone. If she comes back to you on her own accord, it's worth another shot. If not, there's a good reason or probably multiple reasons why. Go find your own path in life and don't make your life all about one person.

This is all about you and your feelings if you are honest with yourself. I can see it from your initial post as an outsider looking in. How many times did you use the letter "I"??? Be honest. I counted myself, over THIRTY times. If her parents even had to step in on this, there's definitely some soul searching that needs to be done.
 
Last edited:
stillwantmore2;631174 said:
Honestly, I've been here before. Relationships end for a good reason most of the time. The best thing to do in a situation like this is to leave her alone. If you really care about her happiness get your damn ego and emotions out of the way and leave her alone. If she comes back to you on her own accord, it's worth another shot. If not, there's a good reason or probably multiple reasons why. Go find your own path in life and don't make your life all about one person.

This is all about you and your feelings if you are honest with yourself. I can see it from your initial post as an outsider looking in. How many times did you use the letter "I"??? Be honest. I counted myself, over THIRTY times. If her parents even had to step in on this, there's definitely some soul searching that needs to be done.
Click to expand...

Damn! I counted 35...
 
Yeah never been lucky whit the ladies, hahaha relationships havent worked for me,but i dont feel affected at all,and yeah most of the time we care about ourselves than the one we apparently love,besides when we started into this PE stuff very few people could understand our bussiness,i have read some cases here of girls not wantin their guys no more because of PE hahaha dumb girls i think:)
 
Last edited:
i think most relationships start with a strong liking towards each other...and end up badly
but some become very strong relationships and end up worse
some relationships turn into love but end is even worse
some turn into marriage ...they end the worst (if they end)
lol ahahhaha;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top