I have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS with EQ or maintaining an erection or stamina or anything like that if I'm fucking a woman. Penis + vagina = babies. I can even last as long or finish as fast as I want, by directing my awareness to or away from aspects of sex that arouse me. I'm in pretty good physical shape, too, although my fingers and toes are often icicles even during the Summer. (I guess I'm actually not sure if I have circulation issues, but again I can certainly and reliably get plenty hard during sex).
But then I get into PE, and some exercises require that I am erect. For instance, SSJ and towel raise kegels are both part of my routine. I have two options: adult entertainment/mental sexual visualization or no. If I use adult entertainment or even mental visualization to stimulate myself, I can get good quality erections quickly and easily. (Usually not GREAT quality if I've just been stretching, but still). But then I shift focus back to doing an exercise like jelqs or kegels, the frame of mind that got me erect in the first place disappears, and that erection is gone in seconds.
For that reason, among others, I recently switched to this idea of getting erect without any mental stimulation. I just close my eyes and do a mindfulness meditation focusing on the physical sensation of playing with myself, and try to manufacture or fabricate a sense of total confidence. I can typically get erect this way within a couple minutes of actually focusing my mind, but THAT usually takes 20-30 minutes alone, with my brain going everywhere else in the world at a million miles per hour during that time. THEN, once I actually start to do an exercise... I still lose my erection pretty much immediately. And then I'm just pissed off, so it gets even harder to get erect again.
For example, in 6 minutes of SSJ today, I had 30-40 seconds of actual jelqing. I find it insanely discouraging, and I've never even tried to do towel raise kegels except for one workout where I said 'fuck it' and jumped on Pornhub. From a muscular standpoint, the towel raises were easy as pie even with the towel soaked. Too bad I can't stay hard long enough to do more than a few at a time. (angry)
Then I thought maybe I just have trouble because I'm doing all of this after stretching, and maybe my penis is just too beat up to easily get and maintain an erection. I don't consider that hypothesis disproved, but I've been taking it easier on the stretching the last couple days (skipped it entirely today) and it hasn't made a bit of difference. Doesn't look good!
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, though. Why would I be erect for this stuff? It's not sexy at all! Should I expect myself to stay erect for it? I have NO problems at all with EQ or maintaining erection in situations where I'm actually turned on, but my sense is that should transfer to PE as well (how else is it possible for people to be doing these exercises??) and I don't get how. Is my EQ or stamina actually crap, even though everything somehow functions just fine for sex? Where am I going wrong?
Tearing my hair out over this, I appreciate any advice or perspective you can give me on this to help me get my head on straight or understand the way forward.
But then I get into PE, and some exercises require that I am erect. For instance, SSJ and towel raise kegels are both part of my routine. I have two options: adult entertainment/mental sexual visualization or no. If I use adult entertainment or even mental visualization to stimulate myself, I can get good quality erections quickly and easily. (Usually not GREAT quality if I've just been stretching, but still). But then I shift focus back to doing an exercise like jelqs or kegels, the frame of mind that got me erect in the first place disappears, and that erection is gone in seconds.
For that reason, among others, I recently switched to this idea of getting erect without any mental stimulation. I just close my eyes and do a mindfulness meditation focusing on the physical sensation of playing with myself, and try to manufacture or fabricate a sense of total confidence. I can typically get erect this way within a couple minutes of actually focusing my mind, but THAT usually takes 20-30 minutes alone, with my brain going everywhere else in the world at a million miles per hour during that time. THEN, once I actually start to do an exercise... I still lose my erection pretty much immediately. And then I'm just pissed off, so it gets even harder to get erect again.
For example, in 6 minutes of SSJ today, I had 30-40 seconds of actual jelqing. I find it insanely discouraging, and I've never even tried to do towel raise kegels except for one workout where I said 'fuck it' and jumped on Pornhub. From a muscular standpoint, the towel raises were easy as pie even with the towel soaked. Too bad I can't stay hard long enough to do more than a few at a time. (angry)
Then I thought maybe I just have trouble because I'm doing all of this after stretching, and maybe my penis is just too beat up to easily get and maintain an erection. I don't consider that hypothesis disproved, but I've been taking it easier on the stretching the last couple days (skipped it entirely today) and it hasn't made a bit of difference. Doesn't look good!
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, though. Why would I be erect for this stuff? It's not sexy at all! Should I expect myself to stay erect for it? I have NO problems at all with EQ or maintaining erection in situations where I'm actually turned on, but my sense is that should transfer to PE as well (how else is it possible for people to be doing these exercises??) and I don't get how. Is my EQ or stamina actually crap, even though everything somehow functions just fine for sex? Where am I going wrong?
Tearing my hair out over this, I appreciate any advice or perspective you can give me on this to help me get my head on straight or understand the way forward.
Unfortunately, that means any time I'm doing anything but work is time-I-could-be-working, and I'm always aware of that.
