Depression: have you suffered from it?

[Shafty]

Just a quick survey here... you can vote and remain anonymous, or post a brief background story if you wish.

 

[bigman808]

I went through a pretty bad phase earlier on in my life, and depression had a pretty big part in it. I was just lonely, I guess, though I'm still not completely sure of the cause(s) of my depression during that time. I was at odds with my family, didn't have many friends, was poppin pills and smoking weed 2-3 times daily, if not more, and I was just numb. It was one of the worst feelings and times I've ever experienced. Was sent, not by my choice, to rehab, didn't get anything from that except a meeting directory for NA. Kept going to meetings, talking to people, and regaining, bit by bit, pieces of my psychee and life. Now, in less than 6 days, I'll have a year clean, and I'm back on my feet. If anyone has a problem with drugs and they feel like they're ready for help, PM me for the NA hotline number and other info. Thanks

-Bigman

 

[colon]

Yes. I don't think it's genetics or anything biological; it just has to do with the fact that my life sucks( :drowning: <------- that sums up my life right there ).


Oh, And I'm not even adding in the fact that I have a small penis. rofl

 

[kausion_420]

Yes I get depressed.

I get depressed about the things I see happening around me and thinking about where we are headed.

I sometimes try to turn a blind eye to it but its screams for me to pay attention. I realize that we are born in a state of being and it is up to us to enlighten ourselfs. Some days I do wish I had been born ignorant or blind but the fact that I am not is enough to make me smile because someone higher than myself has illuminated up my soul.

For some reason I don't get depressed when someone I know dies. Never have. I just feel like I will see them soon almost as if they just went on vacation or something similiar. I guess it also reminds me that my mission on earth is not complete yet and won't be complete until I too am gone.

When I put that state of mind with what I know I realize that my life does have purpose and now I just have to put everything together to do what it is that I am supposed to do.

 

[bigman808]

Nice, that's powerful man.
Btw, wtf is up with your sig?

 

[kausion_420]

Nice, that's powerful man.
Btw, wtf is up with your sig?

They are my dancing ladies

 

[kausion_420]

it just has to do with the fact that my life sucks( :drowning: <------- that sums up my life right there ).

What exactly is it about your life that sucks?

Is it something that can't be changed (i.e. you live in the slums of brazil and you must hitch hike to the richer part and you surf the net from the library...)

Or is it just you feel nothing in your life is going as you want it to.

Most people who say their life sucks, fall into the second category and the reason nothing goes the way they want it to is because they are not running with a solid plan.

They say "my life sucks" then I say the obvious, "well what do you want to do with your life?" they say "I don't have a clue". If "I don't have a clue" is what you are putting out there, it is the same thing you are going to get back.

Also if you notice things that keep re-occurring in your life that are of no use to you, find out exactly where these things are coming from and move around them. I used to go through these phases quite a bit in my life and this has helped solve most of them. As long as you are taking responsibility for your actions and realizing that you are the one creating them then you will find it is easier to change them and move on. Those who are always looking outside for their answers often get stuck. I was stuck for a bit.

Too much of this world has bad things that cannot be changed simply, but most personal problems can be. Find out what you don't like in your life and find ways around it or to change it and see if that helps at all. Has helped me a great deal.

 

[jakb]

For some reason I don't get depressed when someone I know dies. Never have. I just feel like I will see them soon almost as if they just went on vacation or something similiar. I guess it also reminds me that my mission on earth is not complete yet and won't be complete until I too am gone.

I feel that exact same way. I also sometimes feel slightly jealous. Dont get me wrong, I love life, but it seems as though they are going somewhere that I long to be and miss. Wondering if you have that similar feeling?

PS your girls in your sig are no longer there. It says that your domain is banned and has pics of a frog.

 

[kausion_420]

I feel that exact same way. I also sometimes feel slightly jealous. Dont get me wrong, I love life, but it seems as though they are going somewhere that I long to be and miss. Wondering if you have that similar feeling?

PS your girls in your sig are no longer there. It says that your domain is banned and has pics of a frog.

lol trippy shit, it still shows up on mine for some reason...

 

[colon]

What exactly is it about your life that sucks?

Is it something that can't be changed (i.e. you live in the slums of brazil and you must hitch hike to the richer part and you surf the net from the library...)

Or is it just you feel nothing in your life is going as you want it to.

Most people who say their life sucks, fall into the second category and the reason nothing goes the way they want it to is because they are not running with a solid plan.

They say "my life sucks" then I say the obvious, "well what do you want to do with your life?" they say "I don't have a clue". If "I don't have a clue" is what you are putting out there, it is the same thing you are going to get back.

Also if you notice things that keep re-occurring in your life that are of no use to you, find out exactly where these things are coming from and move around them. I used to go through these phases quite a bit in my life and this has helped solve most of them. As long as you are taking responsibility for your actions and realizing that you are the one creating them then you will find it is easier to change them and move on. Those who are always looking outside for their answers often get stuck. I was stuck for a bit.

Too much of this world has bad things that cannot be changed simply, but most personal problems can be. Find out what you don't like in your life and find ways around it or to change it and see if that helps at all. Has helped me a great deal.

I understand. I've analyzed and criticized my life ad nauseum and I just realize I just don't care about anything anymore. I would kill myself but I'm too lazy or too scared. I want to point out that I know I sound like a pussy or just a whiny loser but I was just answering the original question.

I blame no one else for the way my life has gone.

I guess I forgot to add that I'm comfortable in the fact that my life sucks. I feel normal being depressed all the time because that's all that I have known for the past ten years. I mean, I sure wasn't like this before but sometimes you just can't help the way things turn out.


Anyways, Thanks For the advice and Good Luck , kausion_420.

 

[Shithead]

i usually have very little sympathy for depressed people, 99% of people i've met who claim they are depressed are just looking for attention, and there stupid little problems could be solved with common sense. DEPRESSION IS A HUGE FASHION.

examples are like the person who thinks everyone hates them because they are "different", when really noone thinks any differently of them at all, they just wish they'd stop acting depressed.

im not claiming EVERY person with depression is like this as im sure there are serious cases, and im not trying to belittle them. those people here with serious problems you have my sympathy.

 

[psychojitsu]

I get depression but it is caused by several concussions i've had throughout my life. football/ wrestling/jiu-jitsu. But I take paxil and it keeps it in check.

 

[KiTTie8695]

My junior year in highschool my dad didn't allow me to see, speak to or talk to zack via IM,phone, through a friend,etc. even if I had excellent grades. I saw a therapist, but later found out that she was leaking info to my dad, I havent been back to her since. (my dad has caused most of my depression during my life, especially during my highschool years, plus the fact that he has somewhat "disowned" me). He had abused me emotionally and kindda physically which also ofcourse, caused me depression. I even almost tried to kill myself.

I'm not trying to crave attention by telling you guys this, not at all in any way, because people always tell me that I am. You wanted to hear my story so thanks for listening, and what I juss told you guys was only the beginning.

I've learned todeal with it myself by writing or surrounding myself with loved ones and good friends But even to this day it's hard to deal with cause my mom and dad are still goingthrough a divorce.

But i'll be okay

 

[Shafty]

Great replies guys!
Personally I've wrestled with depression starting from age 14. There have been times when I thought I'd overcome it for good, but I still get reoccurring bouts every now and then. It is NOT the teenage angst shithead described, but rather something much more persistant and deeply rooted. I probably had the disposition (from my dad's side of the family) to go along with a multitude of triggering factors that were outside of my ability to influence and change for the better. Some things were, but not all. I had a very rough time in school back when I was around 14; I had to quit and do home schooling for half a year and change schools after that. That period of time in my life was most likely the first triggering event (but there were many factors that preceeded it, such as intense feelings of abandonment, guilt and self hatred, which in turn stemmed from certain childhood events). There have been many more after that, including having to deal with and untangle very knotted family relationships and cope with the alcoholism & difficult personality of a family member.

I am also a very self critical person, who can't stand to see himself fail in anything. Whipping yourself over even the most minute errors or failures (whether real or self perceived) certainly doesn't help, but I can't seem to change myself in that sense.

 

[VladtheImpaler]

I am also a very self critical person, who can't stand to see himself fail in anything. Whipping yourself over even the most minute errors or failures (whether real or self perceived) certainly doesn't help, but I can't seem to change myself in that sense.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up for me... :jumpingfi

And four or five pales of bullshit!!!

 

[bigman808]

I find it helps to be open and honest, if not with myself, than with someone else. (not just random people, i dont walk up to someone on the street and say 'i was going out with this girl, she cheated with me, and i fucked her friend. have a nice day') Also, i tend to polarize things; ill look at something as the best it could possibly be or the worst. That doesn't help any, but when i'm feeling any depression, or just down in the shitter, i try and think of all the good things in life. Even if there are very few, I still try and focus on them. Also, this may seem strange, i meditate every now and then. It really helps me focus and get what i need to do done. I would reccommend it to anyone who just can't seem to get shit done, or has problems with focus and/or concentration.

Btw, Vlad, wtf is that smiley doin? For me, i see it jumping up and down in flames of shit, but i could be wrong...

 

[TomdW]

I have been in and out of severe depression for about 3 years. I'm on Zoloft at the moment but am started to come off it as I have recently started a new diet and am feeling a lot better for it.

 

[FAUSTO]

I get depressed whenever i have a fight with my girlfriend or when i do something wrong and hurt somebody. My mother and father are the only two people that can truly help me and give me advice. To all the guys here that suffer from depression, i hope you will overcome it, i know what you are going through, i dont like to see anybody here going through this, please stay strong

 

[against_odds21]

Shithead I see your view and had the same opinion until depression hit me. Some people just have to experience to believe it. My depression came from anxiety problems, but am doing a lot better now. You never forget it though.

 

[colon]

Shithead I see your view and had the same opinion until depression hit me. Some people just have to experience to believe it. My depression came from anxiety problems, but am doing a lot better now. You never forget it though.

I know what you mean. I used to be one of the cool guys that would rag on the losers and misfits for just being 'losers' and 'misfits'. I used to say "you don't have to be depress if you don't want to be......life is in your hands."- then suddenly one incident happen to me that was like getting hit by a ton of bricks. I had no way of dealing with it.

I used to think I was invincible but I guess life certainly taught me a lesson I'll never forget. A decade of loneliness will certainly humble anyone. If you don't believe me, then I suggest you try it and see how strong you are.


Hopefully, I'll get luckier in my next life.

 

[Shithead]

Shithead I see your view and had the same opinion until depression hit me. Some people just have to experience to believe it. My depression came from anxiety problems, but am doing a lot better now. You never forget it though.

i have experienced depression, now i see its a waste of time.

All depression apart from very serious cases is a choice, i choose not to get depressed.

 

[TomdW]

i have experienced depression, now i see its a waste of time.

All depression apart from very serious cases is a choice, i choose not to get depressed.[/QUOT


In my experience all depressed people understand that it is a waste of time. I certainly did when I was bad but if you really are clinically depressed then it only goes to confound the problem. Shithead I believe that you may be confusing sadness with depression. Depression is a long term affliction whereas sadness is simply a short term thing, a part of life. I think people have an overall state of mind that fluctuates a bit from either being comparatively happy to being comparatively sad but depressed people are overall morose and can by no means simply decide one day to be OK, it's a lot stronger than that. I agree that over time as long as you don't allow yourself to fall into bad habits of thought then an improvement can be found but it is certainly not as easy as just saying 'Right, today I will be happy.'. It is a common misconception, usually held by those that have not experienced real depression, that you can choose not to be depressed. I have read many books on the subject and the general consensus is that the best treatment for depression is a combination of SS RI antidepressants and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). CBT actually consits of identifying negative patterns of thought and eradicating them but it is not a choice of any depressed person to be so.

For me the most helpful treatment has been my alkalanarian diet. I have enough energy to be happy at times and also enough to lead a normal life. I think that the main cause of depression is diet so in a sense it is people's choice whether they are depressed or not but indirectly, through diet. I have tryed all kinds of therapy and meds but this is the only thing that has helped. And it's helped a lot. For reference a really good and helpful book is 'The pH miracle' by Dr Young.

 

[Shithead]

Shithead I believe that you may be confusing sadness with depression.

i can see how you got that. 99% of the people who claim they are depressed are simply sad, and they can get around it with the choice thing, if they were smart enough to, but most of the time i think they enjoy having they're "depression". people who have serious depression are out of that catagory.

 

[TomdW]

i can see how you got that. 99% of the people who claim they are depressed are simply sad, and they can get around it with the choice thing, if they were smart enough to, but most of the time i think they enjoy having they're "depression". people who have serious depression are out of that catagory.

Yep. Agreed.

 

[jumpseat]

I went through a serious bout of depression in 2003 when my wife had an affair. Over a dozen years of marraige at that point and suddenly everything I thought was going well took a giant flush in the crapper. Now I've been taking lexapro which has helped but still dealing with the whole sexual "I'm not good/big enough thing" which is why I hang out at this wonderful site seeking a larger penis.... Thanks DLD

 

[TomdW]

Welcome to the forum jumpseat. Sad to hear about your wife. My parents split up after 20 years of marriage. My dad had an affair. My mum still finds life difficult but things are getting better. A had to physicaly hold her back from killing herself. My dad took no responsibility and it all seemed to come down on my head when I was only 14. My mum was an alchoholic so it was incredibly difficult. So I can understand a bit of what you went through and still are going through. That kind of thing can really be devastating.
One thing. You are good enough even without a massive penis, that is only an added bonus. If anything it is those that do not have the depth of character to be loyal that are not good enough. Fuck 'em!!

 

[colon]

I went through a serious bout of depression in 2003 when my wife had an affair. Over a dozen years of marraige at that point and suddenly everything I thought was going well took a giant flush in the crapper. Now I've been taking lexapro which has helped but still dealing with the whole sexual "I'm not good/big enough thing" which is why I hang out at this wonderful site seeking a larger penis.... Thanks DLD

She didn't cheat on you cause your size wasn't 'good/big enough', right? I mean , I'm sure that contributed to the affair but I can't believe someone would risk a marriage mainly on the size of a penis.

 

[VladtheImpaler]

but most of the time i think they enjoy having they're "depression".

I dont think its that fun, man...

 

[kausion_420]

I dont think its that fun, man...

I think he means in terms of those who don't want to stand on their own two feet and get off on the having the world feel sorry for them.

 

[VladtheImpaler]

I think he means in terms of those who don't want to stand on their own two feet and get off on the having the world feel sorry for them.

lol, yeah i get it now....i used to know this fucked up chick that used to fake attempt suicide and always fail.....she would come to school with cut marks on her wrists....

Then one time....i laughed for two days straight....She was gonna hang herself and jumped off her roof with a rope around her neck, forgot to tie it, and broke her fucking Leg....NO SHITTING HERE!!!! rofl rofl rofl

 

[TomdW]

That's insane! .... I used to know someone who's mum died when he was about 15. One week after she died he tryed to kill himself by jumping off the roof of his house. He also broke a leg.

I suppose that wasn't funny....... more sad really. Either way the moral of both stories is quite simple. DON'T JUMP OFF YOUR ROOF!! EVEN IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF!!

 

[Shafty]

That's insane! .... I used to know someone who's mum died when he was about 15. One week after she died he tryed to kill himself by jumping off the roof of his house. He also broke a leg.

I suppose that wasn't funny....... more sad really. Either way the moral of both stories is quite simple. DON'T JUMP OFF YOUR ROOF!! EVEN IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF!!

That is sad, really. If anyone has a legit reason to feel depressed, it would be a person whose mother has died. BUT, he should have had more common sense than try and jump off his roof!
There seems to be a trend of idiotic and failed suicide attempts going on... for example, I knew this kid who did a lot of stupid shit of this sort. I'm not sure if he even was trying to kill himself, or if he was just plain dumb, but the kid tried to stick a fork into an electric outlet, for one. Mild shock, hospital trip, all done. Well, he also tried jumping off the roof of his school (it was a rather flat building), and landed on his stomach, breaking a rib or two. Seriously, evolution should weed out people like him from the gene pool.

 

[esteban]

For those who think its a choice, I actually inherited a chemical imbalance from my mom that causes depression, so its more than that. She's on medication, I'm not. I kind of refuse to take it, thinking that I should be strong enough to overcome it mentally, and sometimes I am...many times I'm not. Having shitty things happen in my life only makes it worse, like my recent breakup. The thing about true depression, is it seriously isolates you. What you need is for someone to slap you out of it, and bring you back to reality. But what ends up happening is, you get depressed, and isolate yourself, so it builds up, and has a kind of snowball effect until you either break out of it yourself or something else happens.

Many times I wake up depressed, and it takes me literally hours to get up. Its not that I'm not motivated, or am lazy, its just that, for some reason I physically and mentally can not get myself up. I sit there thinking I'm not good enough in this way, and that way...and then since I've dealt with this for so long start telling myself its bullshit and I know its just depression, so I need to get up and cut the bullshit. But since its a chemical thing in my brain, my body itself feels almost paralyzed, and I sit there fighting it for a long time. Sure, I've thought about killing myself, many many times...but each time I FORCE myself out of it.

That kind of depression isn't a choice, it just kind of happens to me. I'd like to think I'm strong enough to get rid of it, but am thinking about trying some medication out, just to see what its like to actually live like a normal human.

 

[KiTTie8695]

but then again, some people actually like being depressed from journals i've read online and therefore, they end up craving attention.

 

[Shafty]

but then again, some people actually like being depressed from journals i've read online and therefore, they end up craving attention.

Yes, there are lots of people who aren't really depressed, but rather looking for attention and a pat on the back to validate that they're special and unique for "being different" and "carrying the pain of the world on their shoulders". These people are for the most part unnecessarily psyching themselves up to feel down, if that makes any sense, since they get some level of pleasure from getting more attention while on their pedestal of phony depression. Such individuals are easy to recognize on internet forums and in real life: they are the ones who are the most vocal about their "suffering", and instead of turning all of it inward, they burden others with their constant need for attention and sympathy. I know too many angsty teenage girls who fit this category perfectly.
On the flip side of the coin, people who are truly depressed often become introverted and unwilling to share what they're going through with anyone. They may end up suffering with their condition for years before getting help, because they feel completely isolated from society and lose all hope for the future. Their depression can worsen to the point where it becomes impossible to "snap out of", even if some life changing positive experience or a turn for the better in all areas of life should occur. People at that stage can't enjoy their existance any longer. I know, I've been there, and I went through feeling that way for years. Hell, I didn't even know the exact definition of clinical depression back then; I just happened to realize one day that my life had felt totally meaningless and void of any pleasure for a long time. Back then I went to therapy, and my shrink was the first person who told me I was depressed. Someone needed to tell ME, since I had no clue about my own condition: I simply assumed that I had been sad for an unusually long period of time. I definitely wasn't complaining out loud or even sharing how I felt with anyone, and I still prefer to keep it to myself. Let this post be an exception.
Clinical depression is definitely not something that I would call enjoyable. I hunger for the feeling of being alive, but such a state feels totally unattainable at present. I've taken my fair share of antidepressants, too, and even though they lift your mood, they also make you numb, so I'm not going down that road again. I know I have a chemical imbalance (serotonin metabolism fucked up) to go along with the environmental and circumstantial triggers that control my depression, but I'd rather avoid having to turn myself into a zombie with the pills.

I don't CHOOSE to be depressed: when it happens it is out of my control, and I couldn't care less whether or not someone notices that I'm "sad, or down".

 

[VladtheImpaler]

Yes, there are lots of people who aren't really depressed, but rather looking for attention and a pat on the back to validate that they're special and unique for "being different" and "carrying the pain of the world on their shoulders".

While reading this I had a picture of a Goth in my head....Why do they always look so sickly????

Yeah, my parents took me to a shrink and wanted me on meds when i was like 5 years old, nothing like being a toddler and having a stranger slamming the idea: "there is something wrong with your head" Into you....

 

[swingcupple]

I have felt depression in mild forms over my very long life of 35 yrs starting when i was six....my brother died when i was 3 , when my grandmother died(i was 6) and thats when i realized he was gone for good.....but what i really am writing about is that my depressions are mild and what I would call "situational" my Hubby on the other hand seems to have a lifelong fight with depression..this is much different then the person who is living in a very egocentrical world ....his depression is from deep within....he grew up in an acoholic family and then more has happened...he cares deeply for those around him and would do anything for anybody but he still seems himself as a burden on everyone....its a mean circle, he feels useless and gets more depressed which everyone should know makes doing anything 10X as hard.....the energy it takes me to do the dishes for example and the energy it takes him are way different.....I can see what's there and what needs to be done in an orderly sesible way ..he just sees the mess and it takes him lots of concetration to sort things out.....I guess my point in writing this is JUST BECAUSE YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND WHY IT IS, DOESN"T MEAN IT ISN"T !

 

[KiTTie8695]

While reading this I had a picture of a Goth in my head....Why do they always look so sickly????

Hydromaxm... i've always wondered that myself.. i think it might have something to do with the whole subculture crap. idk though. but other than that, i'm not sure of the real reason. i think they look madd cool though... not in the sickly way though lol

 

[VladtheImpaler]

Hydromaxm... i've always wondered that myself.. i think it might have something to do with the whole subculture crap. idk though. but other than that, i'm not sure of the real reason. i think they look madd cool though... not in the sickly way though lol

No!!!!....

No kittie, the last thing they look is Madd Cool
Only ever met one gothic that was anything to talk to....

You Are Encouraging THem!!!!

 

[Shafty]

No!!!!....

No kittie, the last thing they look is Madd Cool
Only ever met one gothic that was anything to talk to....

You Are Encouraging THem!!!!

I've met some hot goth babes in my day, though. rofl
These are usually the ones that stay true to their "style" even after they've passed beyond their teen years (as far as clothing, accessories and make-up is concerned, at any rate), but ditch the unsocial and sulky attitude. A goth chick that takes care of herself and is fun to be around can be quite a turn on.

 

[Shithead]

goths now days usually are happier, it seems they've coined onto the cliche depressed goth and now they are trying a different angle of being a happy person who looks and dresses depressed.

either that or their just getting sick of being depressed.